Kate's Vow (Vows)

by Sherryl Woods

  Her mother smiled. “Oh, Kate, you always were too hard on yourself. Change is always hard to accept at first. Why do you think it took me so long to say yes to Brandon, even when I loved him with all my heart? I knew how it would disrupt all our lives.”

  “But you have a right to be happy,” Kate insisted, voicing the rational thought that had struggled with her emotional reaction from the outset.

  “Yes, I do, but not at the expense of my girls.” Her mother shook her head. “I thought Ellen was the one who’d have trouble with this, not you. I should have thought more about how you would feel. You think I betrayed your father, don’t you?”

  “No,” Kate said, too quickly, judging from her mother’s skeptical expression. She considered the question more carefully, then repeated her answer. “No. Not really. You and Dad were open with each other. He knew how you felt.” She looked at her mother. “He did, didn’t he?”

  “Yes, and he understood. Darling, your father was a wonderful man, a good father, and I am very sorry he is gone. We had a happy life together, and because of him, I have you. That alone would have made our marriage worthwhile.”

  Kate sighed and felt some small measure of relief steal through her. “I really needed to hear you say that,” she admitted.

  “Oh, baby,” her mother whispered, her voice catching. “How could you possibly doubt how much I love you?”

  Those words echoed sentiments she’d heard from David only days before, the same mix of disbelief and anguish and gut-deep caring of a parent. The parallels between his situation with Davey and her own experience were stronger than she’d realized. And she, like Davey, wanted nothing more than reassurance that their world was still secure. It seemed even someone as self-assured as she was would never outgrow that need to feel connected, loved.

  Her mother held her arms wide and Kate stepped into them. The hug, combined with the words, reassured her of something she never should have doubted. Even though Ellen was the child of her mother’s love for Brandon Halloran, there was still room in her generous heart for Kate. There always would be.

  When their tears were dried and her mother had made another pot of raspberry tea, Kate said, “Now tell me about this fantastic honeymoon, Mom. When are you going to take off again?”

  “We don’t have a set plan. I think we should stick around here for a while, though.”

  Kate regarded her with renewed guilt. “Not on my account, please. I’m fine now.”

  “Are you really, Kate? I’m beginning to think Brandon’s right. You need a focus in your life, something more than work. You need a husband.”

  “I need a trip to the French Riviera more.” The snappy retort didn’t pack the conviction it might have a week or two ago. Her mother clearly caught the change.

  “So,” she said casually. “Tell me again about the man who was out at the beach house for the weekend.”

  Kate regarded her suspiciously. “What have you heard?”

  “Heard?” her mother said innocently. “You told me yourself he was the father of a client.”

  “And you immediately dismissed him as being too old for me. What’s changed? I can tell by that gleam in your eyes that you’ve heard something.”

  “Actually, I believe Zelda did fax an item over to Rome.”

  “An item?” Kate said blankly. “What item?” Then she recalled the square clipped out of the middle of one of the trade papers the week before. Zelda had been amazingly evasive when she’d asked about it.

  “It mentioned that you and David Winthrop were seen dining together at Alice’s along with his son.”

  “I told you that much.”

  “No.”

  “Well, I told you they were at the house.”

  “You didn’t tell me the man’s name, dear. If you had, I would have known that the man you were entertaining is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors.”

  “How would you know a thing like that?” Kate demanded, knowing that her mother paid very little attention to the film industry.

  “Actually, Brandon made a couple of phone calls,” she announced cheerfully. “He seemed quite impressed.”

  Kate covered her face with her hands. Oh, dear Lord. It was her worst nightmare come true. “Mother, call him off,” she begged.

  Her mother regarded her smugly. “I don’t think so, dear. You’re inclined to drag your heels about these things. I think this time, perhaps, you could use a little nudge.”

  “No nudges,” Kate protested. “No meddling. No circumspect investigations. Please.”

  She could tell from her mother’s expression, however, that her pleas were falling on deaf ears. She figured she and David had about another twelve hours while Brandon recovered from jet lag. After that, she suspected there would be no holds barred. Dear heaven, what had she let the man in for?

  * * *

  The definite chill in Kate’s office had nothing to do with the air-conditioning. Zelda had been in a snit for over two weeks and, Kate was forced to admit, for good cause. She owed her an apology. Now that her personal life was getting back on a more even keel, it was past time she gave her one.

  The door opened and Zelda stood framed in the doorway. “Mrs. Mason is here,” she announced without setting foot over the threshold. Her voice held that same distant, icy note that had been giving Kate shivers since the previous week.

  “I’ll see her in a minute,” Kate said. “Come in. I’d like to speak to you.”

  Zelda took one cautious step inside.

  “All the way in,” she said dryly. “And close the door.”

  Zelda reacted as if she were being asked to sign her own death warrant.

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Kate said impatiently. “I’m not going to fire you.”

  “There are worse things than being fired,” Zelda replied huffily.

  “Like being yelled at when you were only trying to help?”

  Her secretary’s eyes widened. “For starters,” she said.

  “I’m sorry,” Kate apologized. “I’ve been a mess ever since Mom’s wedding. I can’t really explain why, but that’s no excuse for taking it out on you.”

  “You mean because you and Ellen are only half sisters?”

  With a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach, Kate regarded her in astonishment. “How in the world did you know that?”

  “Your sister explained.”

  Irritation flashed through Kate, followed almost at once by resignation. It was Ellen’s story to tell or to keep secret. Obviously she’d needed an ally in her battle to get past Kate’s hostility and had trusted Zelda enough to share the information with her. As thrown as she might be feeling at this instant, Kate knew that Ellen’s trust had not been misplaced. For all of her off-beat personality, Zelda was as loyal and discreet as she was compassionate.

  “I see,” Kate said slowly. “Then you understand why I’ve been unusually stressed out.”

  Zelda shook her head. “Not really. But if you were feeling so bummed out, why didn’t you just talk about it?”

  Why, indeed, Kate thought. Wasn’t that the advice she parceled out almost hourly to her clients before she agreed to handle a divorce? Wasn’t that what she’d been advocating that David and Davey do? Talk out their problems, discuss what was on their minds honestly, and when that didn’t work, keep talking until it cut through the barriers. She tried to analyze her reluctance to follow her own advice.

  Perhaps it had something to do with a lifetime of feeling in control, of feeling absolute certainty about her place in the scheme of things. She’d always credited her parents for giving her that kind of self-confidence by creating a secure environment, filled with love. The discovery that her world was not at all what she’d thought it to be had caused her to question everything about how she fit in. Nothing had prepared her for the loneliness and desperation of that kind of uncertainty.

  The blow had also thrown into doubt everything in her universe. Subconsciously she’d apparently p
ut family on a back burner in order to pursue her career, confident in the stability of their love. When that confidence had been shaken, her priorities had been turned topsy-turvy. Talking about it would only have made it seem more real.

  “I guess I was hoping that with time, the feelings would go away,” she admitted to Zelda. “I suppose I even felt guilty for begrudging Mom her happiness and Ellen her new father.”

  Zelda gazed heavenward. “Do you hear that, Lord? The woman is human.” She regarded Kate with a shake of her head. “Must have been a rude awakening, huh?”

  “You mean Ellen’s news?”

  “No. I mean discovering that not every single thing in life is within your control.”

  Kate grinned ruefully. “Yeah,” she admitted. “It was. Anyway, I am sorry for taking my mood out on you. Now send Mrs. Mason in.”

  Zelda nodded. “By the way, Davey called from school. He wants to come by when he gets out. I told him you could fit him in. Okay?”

  Kate frowned. “Did he say what it was about?”

  “No.”

  “How did he sound?”

  “Like he’d lost his best friend.”

  Kate muttered a curse and wondered what had happened in the week since she’d last seen Davey and his father. With one of her cases going into court this week, she’d been swamped with preparations and hadn’t checked on them. Besides, she’d been so sure that the tension between them was easing and that David understood the importance of rebuilding that relationship. Even as she thought about their fragile rapport and its need for nurturing, it occurred to her that she had some bridges to mend herself.

  As if she’d read her mind, Zelda said, “By the way, don’t you think you should reschedule that lunch with Ellen?”

  “I could almost swear I did not hire you to be my conscience,” Kate retorted.

  “No,” her secretary agreed. “It’s a bonus.”

  Kate laughed. “Call her. Set it up. See if Mom wants to come along.”

  “Perfect,” Zelda said approvingly. “Then maybe she’ll relax and finish her honeymoon.”

  “Is there anything about my family life you don’t know?”

  “Not much,” Zelda said cheerfully. “I’ll send Mrs. Mason in.”

  As it turned out, Mrs. Mason was less in need of legal counseling that she was of a friendly ear for her complaints about the philandering Mr. Mason. Kate suggested she make notes for a tell-all memoir that would embarrass the jerk so badly he’d never want to show his face again at Musso and Frank’s, the old film industry hangout on Hollywood Boulevard which had managed to maintain its character despite other changes to the neighborhood. Mrs. Mason’s eyes lit up at the suggestion.

  “I think I’ll buy one of those little tape recorders on the way home,” she said, then added with a certain amount of glee, “Just seeing me with one of those ought to terrify him.”

  Personally Kate thought the bill for a month at a fancy health spa would terrify him more, but clearly Mrs. Mason wanted public revenge more than expensive relaxation.

  No sooner had the middle-aged woman gone off in search of a tape recorder than Zelda announced Davey’s arrival. To Kate’s regret, the boy who walked into her office looked much as he had on his first visit. Too neat. Too polite. Too lonely.

  “Hi,” she said. “What brings you by?”

  “I just wanted to visit,” he said in a dull tone. He regarded her uncertainly. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay. My favorite client can always be squeezed in.” She watched as he paced the room, looking at pictures, touching the small bronze sculptures she’d chosen as decorations. He seemed particularly fascinated by her Remington cowboy. “How are things at home?” she asked finally.

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Davey,” she said insistently, waiting until he turned to face her. “The truth.”

  “I thought it was going to be better,” he said finally. “I really did. Especially after we went to the beach and everything.”

  “And the studio,” she said.

  His chin lifted stubbornly. “But I had to remind him and remind him about that.”

  “Sweetheart, it was only a week or so after the trip to the beach. Even the very best parents in the whole world can’t plan special outings like that for every single day.” It was a reasonable excuse, but she could see from Davey’s expression that he didn’t care about grown-up logic.

  “He missed my first ball game, too.”

  “Did you remind him?”

  Davey shrugged and Kate guessed that he hadn’t, that he’d wanted his father to come through on his own.

  “It’s going to take time to work all this out,” she told him. “It won’t happen overnight.”

  “I know, but we had a list for all that other stuff. Like breakfast. We were supposed to have breakfast together on the weekends until school started. When I got up Saturday, Dad had gone to the office. Sunday he was out in the yard telling some guy how he wanted him to cut the grass or something. School started Monday, and he hasn’t been there for breakfast once.” Those brown eyes, which telegraphed his hurt feelings, stared at Kate. “I don’t think he likes spending time with me.”

  Only recently having resolved her own feelings of insecurity, Kate could sympathize, even though she knew he was every bit as wrong about his father as she had been about her family. At least she had been old enough to understand what was going on at an intellectual level, even when she hadn’t been able to overcome the hurt. Davey was only ten.

  “What would you like me to do?” she asked, wanting him to sense that he had control over the steps she was taking. He needed desperately to believe that at least one grown-up was taking him seriously. Hugs and platitudes wouldn’t do it this time.

  “Maybe we should go ahead with the divorce.”

  Kate regarded him seriously, her heart aching for him. “Now let’s think about that a minute. Your dad promised to make some changes, didn’t he?”

  “Yeah, but he’s not changing at all.”

  “No,” she corrected, “he did make some. Shouldn’t we give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe a little more time?”

  “I suppose,” he conceded grudgingly. “But then what do we do?”

  “I’ll talk to him, if you like. I’ll remind him that we have a binding, legal agreement, and that he has an obligation to live up to the terms of that agreement.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?”

  “Then you and I and he will sit down and discuss the alternatives.”

  “You mean the divorce,” he said dully.

  Kate went over and pulled him into a hug. “Sweetheart, I can almost guarantee it will not come to that,” she said firmly. Not if there was a way in hell she could prevent it, up to and including personally supervising every single activity David was supposed to be sharing with his son.

  “How’d you get here?” she asked Davey.

  “Mrs. Larsen brought me. She thinks I went to a movie with my friends, though. I’d better go back over so I’m there when she comes to pick me up.” He regarded Kate hopefully. “You’ll talk to Dad?”

  “Today,” she promised. “And I’ll call you later.”

  His expression brightened and he hugged her back finally. “Thanks, Kate.”

  “You bet, kiddo.”

  The minute he had left, she buzzed Zelda. “Call David Winthrop and tell him I want to see him in my office.” She wanted him on her turf this time. Her professional turf, so there could be no mistaking the seriousness of her intentions. This was not a place where they could get sidetracked by easy charm and distracting kisses.

  “When?” Zelda asked.

  “Today.”

  “But it’s already after four.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll wait until he can get here. Don’t take no for an answer.”

  She paced until Zelda buzzed her back.

  “He’ll be here at six-thirty. Is that okay?”

  “Yes. Thanks, Zelda.�
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  “Want me to stick around to take notes?”

  “Nope. It won’t be necessary,” she said, then changed her mind. “Actually, if you don’t mind staying, I think it would be a good idea for Mr. David Winthrop to catch on that we’re playing for keeps with this.”

  “I’ll wait,” Zelda said in a tone that suggested that she was at least as interested in getting a look at David Winthrop as she was in being a dutiful secretary.

  David showed up five minutes early. He did not look overjoyed at having been summoned across town at the conclusion of one of the hottest September days on record. He looked mussed and exhausted and irritated. For about ten seconds Kate actually felt sorry for him. Then she remembered why he was there and gathered her resolve. She couldn’t let her skittering pulse and sympathetic reaction affect her obligation to Davey.

  “Would you mind telling me what is so all-fired important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” he demanded. He glared at Zelda, who scowled right back at him. “And what is she doing in here?”

  “She’s here to take notes. I want this conversation on the record.”

  He glowered at her. “For what?”

  “So I can demonstrate to the court that there was an attempt at mediation.”

  “The court?” he repeated incredulously. “Have you lost your mind?”

  Despite her determination to remain objective and impersonal, she couldn’t help identifying with what he must be feeling. Mixed in with the anger was no doubt a good bit of humiliation at having his relationship with his son under public attack. Figuring she’d made her point about the seriousness of the situation, she glanced at Zelda. “You can go. I’ll make notes and you can type them up tomorrow.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Kate nodded. When Zelda had gone, she looked at David. “I hope you appreciate the fact that I shouldn’t have done that. I thought it might be more constructive, just this once, if you and I talked alone.”

  “About what?” he snapped, still clearly defensive and obviously feeling besieged. Whatever chemistry had sparked between them in the past appeared to have given way to pure resentment. She couldn’t help regretting that and wondering if there would ever come a time when things would be simple.