Kate's Vow (Vows)

by Sherryl Woods

  He knew, though, that if they ventured further—he and this warm, passionate woman he held—for him there would be no turning back. To him, making love had always been a commitment, a promise, and for reasons he couldn’t have explained if he’d tried, he knew that was as true for him now as it had ever been. It didn’t seem to matter that Kate was only weeks past being a stranger. It didn’t even seem to matter that she was a declared adversary. In fact, he was stunned to discover that it felt so right that his choice this time was Kate, a woman so unlike Alicia. She was harder, more fiercely competitive, more passionate about everything.

  And then he looked more deeply into her eyes, those windows to the soul, and saw the anxiety, the wellspring of gentleness, the yearning. So, he thought, as he captured her mouth once more, it wasn’t so surprising after all.

  The surprise came when he carried her from the pool and, still dripping wet, into the master bedroom suite. It came when she declined slow, gentle touches and set a pace that was just shy of desperate, a frenzied claiming that left them in a tangle of wet bathing suits and pushed them into a fevered, urgent release that rocked the bed and left them both gasping for breath.

  “Dear Lord,” he said, when he could finally gather breath to say anything at all.

  Kate, her hair a dark tangle against the pillow, her skin flushed and damp, merely smiled. It was a contented Mona Lisa smile. Had she been a cat, David thought with amusement, she would have been purring. Even her slow, lazy, sensuous stretch spoke of satisfaction and bore no hint of the self-consciousness she had displayed earlier. This Kate was all woman and reveling in it.

  “It occurs to me that you should wear a tag warning of danger,” he teased, still pleasantly startled by her complete and generous sharing of her body. “I’m stunned.”

  “I must admit to being a little stunned myself,” she said, laughing with him. “Two hours ago I would have sworn that I didn’t want this to happen, that I wouldn’t allow it to happen.”

  Having felt much the same way, David circled his arms around her and settled her against his chest. He smoothed her hair away from her face. “What happened to change your mind?”

  He felt the slight shake of her head.

  “I’m not sure,” she said, her breath whispering against his overheated flesh. “Suddenly it just felt right, as if it would be absolutely foolish to resist when I wanted to be held like this more than anything.”

  “By me?”

  Her gaze, filled with surprise, met his. “Of course by you.” She pulled away and she studied him more intently. “What about you? Is this what you had in mind when you lured me over here?”

  David searched his heart for the answer to that. The quick, easy answer was no. The truth seemed much more complicated. “Although I’ve denied it for weeks now, I think I’ve wanted you from the first moment I set eyes on you.”

  “You thought I was an uppity bitch when you first laid eyes on me,” she reminded him.

  “Always the biggest challenge,” he retorted, chuckling at the indignation that flared in her eyes. He touched her lips, which were threatening to curve into a smile despite her best efforts to stop herself. “Ah, Kate, you’ve made me laugh again.”

  “And yell,” she said. “Don’t forget the yelling.”

  He pressed a kiss against her forehead. “The point is you’ve made me feel things again. For a very long time, I wasn’t sure that was possible.”

  She sighed and settled more comfortably in his arms. “Right this instant, almost anything seems possible.”

  “Yes,” he murmured. “It does.”

  He heard her breathing slow into a quiet, steady rhythm. He swept a hand down her spine, stopping eventually on the curve of her bottom. He was fascinated by the unexpectedly easy intimacy between them. He’d expected if the time ever came when he brought another woman to this bed, he would be battling ghosts.

  Perhaps that explained Kate’s aggressive, urgent lovemaking, he thought with sudden understanding. She hadn’t wanted him to have time to think. She had wanted him so caught up in what was happening between the two of them, in the perfect fit of their bodies, in the demanding need, that there was no time for second thoughts. If that had indeed been her intention, he owed her for making this step easier for him to take.

  “Ah, Kate,” he murmured, even though she wasn’t awake to hear him. “You are, perhaps, the most enchanting, complex woman I have ever known.”

  * * *

  How the hell was she supposed to extricate herself from this mess, Kate wondered when she awoke. She was not thinking of the tangled sheets and bathing suits currently holding her captive in this bed, either. She was referring to the fact that she had ignored her best intentions and behaved like an absolutely wanton woman the very first time David Winthrop had so much as given her a come-hither glance.

  Okay, so it had been more than a glance. It had been a couple of those bone-melting kisses, but the point was the same. Her resolve, based on pretty sound, rational thought, had vanished like a puff of smoke. Poof! Gone! And she’d convinced herself that she was a woman ruled by her intellect rather than her hormones, she thought wryly. What a joke that was.

  She blinked open one eye and dared a glance at the man against whom she was currently snuggled up. He was drop-dead handsome, she thought with a sigh. And sexy. Even now, when regrets were stampeding through her at a hundred miles an hour, she wanted him. She wanted him to look at her the way he had earlier, as if she were the most desirable woman on the face of the earth. She wanted him to touch her again with that mixture of reverence and fascination that turned suddenly urgent. She wanted to be swept away on a tide of glorious, magical sensation one more time.

  And then she wanted to go home and pretend it had never happened, wipe it from her mind, go on living as if something cataclysmic hadn’t just happened to her. It was very important that she be able to do that, too. She didn’t have a doubt in the world that a man who hadn’t been able to push grief aside for the sake of his beloved son was hardly ready to embrace a new relationship.

  As for her, everyone knew she had chosen to go through life alone. It was less complicated, less hurtful. There might be a real shortage of peaks, but there definitely were no miserable valleys, either. She’d plunged into the lowest valley of them all with Ryan and vowed never again.

  She stroked her fingers along David’s smooth jaw. It was too bad it had to be this way, she thought regretfully. The peak they had just attained without half trying had been one damned fine peak.

  She closed her eyes and wished they could linger this way forever, suspended in time. Suddenly she felt him nuzzling against her, felt his mouth, warm and wet, surround her nipple. The deep, sucking sensation sent a live current jolting through her. Regrets fled. Common sense fled. Only need, sweet and wild, sliced through her as she felt her body waken beneath his slow, lazy caresses.

  Hands roughened, probably by one too many close encounters with chain saws, skimmed over her flesh, teasing, setting her ablaze. She twisted and bucked as fingers reached wetness and invaded in a slow, rhythmic movement.

  “When you come awake, you really come awake, don’t you?” she murmured, fighting the all-consuming sensation that threatened to sweep her over the edge before he had joined her.

  “Don’t fight me,” he whispered back, the strokes more intense, deeper, more demanding.

  She let go then, let the flood of feeling wash over her, through her. Then, just when she thought she would spin free, the touches slowed, taunted. Wild now with need, she pleaded silently, gazing into eyes darkened with passion.

  “You want me?” he asked in that husky, low-down, sneaky tone that conjured images of the back-seat scrambling of adolescence, the hunger to try everything.

  She wanted to say no, wanted to say she didn’t need anyone, ever, but it would have been a lie. Right now, this instant, she couldn’t bear the thought of one more second without him inside her, without that full, throbbing sense of comple
tion.

  Breathless, she rose instinctively toward him, hips lifting off the bed as she admitted between gasps, “I…want…you.”

  Satisfaction broke over his face as he joined her then with one powerful thrust. Even then, even when she felt she would explode with sensation—skin sensitive, fire in her veins—he took his time. He led her to the edge and back again and again, each time a little higher, the ride a little wilder until at last she felt the sweet waves of a shuddering climax consume first her and then him.

  It was a long time before either of them spoke, before either of them could move. Kate was content to be held in his arms, her body still joined with his in the most intimate way possible. As long as they were together like this, she wouldn’t have to decide whether to go or stay.

  It was David who moved eventually, brushing a kiss on her bare shoulder as he left the bed and padded into the bathroom. She heard the shower go on and then, before she realized he’d returned, he had scooped her once again into his arms.

  In the steamy bathroom she regarded the shower skeptically. “I’m not sure I trust you where water’s concerned. Maybe I’d better test this myself before I plunge in.”

  He grinned. “It’s warm. I promise,” he said, standing her on her feet at the edge of the huge sunken tub. He grabbed a towel and headed for the door. “You go ahead. I’ll pull on my suit and go for another swim.”

  Startled and disappointed that he wouldn’t be joining her, she warned herself not to show it. “How can you possibly have that much energy to spare?” she said, too cheerfully. “I’m drained.”

  “I’m not sure I do. If you hear me yell, I trust you’ll come save me.”

  She gave him a considering look, then forced a grin. “Yeah, I suppose I would.”

  He chuckled and left her then. Uneasy and unable to explain exactly why, Kate didn’t linger under the steamy spray, even though it felt wonderful. Something inside nagged that she and David ought to be talking about what had happened, not suddenly ignoring it. She sensed that his retreat in that bed a few minutes earlier had been more than just physical. There had been something in his eyes, a shadow of regret perhaps, that reminded her that she should have heeded all those warnings to stay away. She toweled herself dry, then remembered that her clothes were still in the pool house.

  Wrapped in the oversize towel, she started to walk back into the bedroom. Then she saw David standing beside the bed, head bent, shoulders slumped. A man in real torment. At first she wanted to run to him, but then she realized what had captured his attention so completely. He was holding a silver-framed picture in his hands. She’d noticed it herself earlier on the bedside table. It was his wedding picture.

  She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes as she imagined the agony of regrets churning through him now. Reminded that the past few hours had been only an interlude, she felt her heart ache far more than it should have, given all the stern lectures she’d given herself lately. Obviously, intellectually knowing something was a far cry from the gut-wrenching pain of experiencing it emotionally.

  It shouldn’t have mattered. She had never wanted anything from any man, least of all this one. Clutching the towel together as she debated what to do, she finally admitted to herself that she had lied.

  It was a lie that was going to cost her dearly.

  Chapter Thirteen

  If nothing else over recent weeks, Kate had learned a couple of valuable lessons. Nothing ever got solved by shoving it into a closet and ignoring it. Her own problems with her family, and Davey’s problems with his father, were proof of that. The wounds had festered far longer than they’d needed to.

  With that in mind, she crossed the bedroom until she was standing next to David. Careful not to brush against him, she said quietly, “She was very beautiful.”

  A sigh shuddered through him. Without turning to look at her, he said, “Yes. She was.” He opened the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed and started to put the picture inside.

  Pushing her own feelings firmly aside, Kate stayed his hand. “Don’t.”

  His gaze, dark with anguish, clashed with hers. “It’s time to let go of the past. Isn’t that what you’ve been telling me for weeks now?” he said angrily, slamming the drawer closed, the picture inside.

  “Yes,” she said evenly, opening the drawer and taking it back out. She placed it carefully in its former spot on the nightstand. “There’s a difference between moving on with your life and locking the past away as if it had never happened. What message would it send to Davey if he saw that his mother’s pictures had all been shoved away out of sight? He’s already afraid to mention her for fear of upsetting you.”

  For the space of a heartbeat, he looked taken aback. Then, if anything, his eyes flashed even more stubbornly. “Surely one of those pop psychology books at your house has a chapter on grief,” he said sarcastically. “Perhaps you should look it over. I suspect it says that everyone handles grief in his or her own way.”

  Kate tried not to lose her temper, but he was so damned bullheaded and irritating. “That’s true,” she shot back. “But you’re not handling it at all.”

  She thought for an instant he might lash back at her, hoped for it, in fact.

  Instead, he simply said coldly, “What would you know about having your life shattered? You’re always in control, always so certain of what you should be doing, what everyone should be doing. I’m sure you refuse to allow any little ups and downs.”

  Kate winced at the unflattering image. All too recently, however, his description would have been on the money. After her breakup with Ryan she had sought control, prided herself on it. But that hadn’t always been the case, and she had paid heavily for that mistake, just as it appeared likely she would pay again for having fallen in love with a man who wasn’t ready to give himself to anyone.

  “You’re wrong,” she said. “You see, a long time ago I fell in love with a man I was sure was the man of my dreams. We were in law school together, but he dropped out, decided that there were other ways he could help the poor and downtrodden. I thought it was the most idealistic decision he could have made. I was very proud of him.”

  She watched David for a reaction. His expression was stony, his gaze directed at the floor. She plunged on anyway, hoping something about the rarely told story would get through to him.

  “It didn’t stop me from finishing school, though. He thought I would join in his fight, but I didn’t. I had always wanted to go into a big law firm. I had wanted to be a powerful divorce lawyer, not because I wanted the money or the fame, but because I wanted to be there for women who gave everything to a marriage and then, it seemed to me, were always getting taken when it came time for a settlement.”

  She smiled ruefully as she thought about what had happened after that. “We lived together. I volunteered with some of his causes at first, but then my own career took off, and I had less and less time. He took it personally, accused me of selling out. Finally he told me he was leaving. I guess by then I wasn’t all that surprised, but that didn’t stop it from hurting.”

  Now at last David was watching her intently. “There’s more, isn’t there? What happened then?”

  “A few days later, while I was still mourning our lost dreams, I received some legal papers. He was filing for palimony. He wanted a cut of everything I’d earned. He figured it was his due for letting his career take a back seat to mine.”

  The disgust was evident in David’s expression. “How the hell would he figure that?”

  “It’s amazing how facts can get twisted to suit someone’s purposes,” she said with a shrug.

  “Did you give him what he wanted?”

  “I wanted to rip his heart out. I wanted to drag him through the entire legal system and show the world what a lousy creep he was. I was persuaded it wasn’t in my own best interests. We settled out of court. Pragmatically I know it’s what I had to do to avoid a scandal that could have hurt my career, but it’s a decision I still re
gret.”

  She met his gaze. “I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with you and Alicia, but I am trying to make a point. What happened with Ryan made me angry and bitter. Ironically, it probably made me an even better divorce lawyer. It gave me my go-for-the-jugular edge. At any rate, I allowed it to color every choice I’ve made—or not made—about relationships. In other words, I stopped living, and for all the wrong reasons.”

  She reached up and touched his cheek. “You have happier memories. You know how wonderful love can be. That won’t change if you move on with your life. It won’t be a betrayal of Alicia. If anything, it will be the opposite, a testament that what you shared lives on in you.”

  His expression instantly hardened, deliberately shutting her out. “I really don’t want to discuss Alicia,” he said adamantly. “I’m going for a swim.”

  He walked off and left her staring after him. Kate saw then that for all of their closeness that day, for all of the physical intimacy, one very real barrier stood between them. Alicia.

  Until David could deal with his grief, until he could bring his memories into the open and discuss her with Davey or Kate or anyone else, a part of him would remain locked away and unreachable. It wouldn’t matter what he believed about having moved on.

  If she tried to force David to discuss Alicia with her, he could easily call her motives into question. Urging him to have those same conversations with Davey, however, was another matter altogether. Davey needed to talk about his mother, he needed to remember those times before she got sick and he needed to share his grief not with Kate, not with strangers, but with his father.

  And no matter the cost to her, she was going to see that it happened. Bringing Alicia’s name into the open so the healing could begin would be her final gift to the two of them.

  * * *

  From a chair in the shade beside the pool, his head throbbing, David watched Kate slip from the bedroom to the pool house wrapped only in a towel. Even after making love to her twice already this morning, he wanted her again. His body, primed by recent reality rather than distant memories, responded like an adolescent’s, with hard, urgent need.