Nelson In Command (The McKade Brothers #2)
Page 19
“Sure. Keys are in the ignition.” As soon as the teen got comfortable in the driver’s seat and blasted the music, Nelson said, “I need to tell you something.”
“Me first, Nelson.” She drew in a deep breath. “I was afraid…scared to death.” Her voice broke, reminding him of an injured animal’s.
“Ah, angel, I know you were afraid to leave the farm. But—”
“It was more than that.” She rolled a pebble beneath her shoe. “For a long time I’d convinced myself I didn’t have the skills or knowledge to do anything else but milk cows.” She raised her head, allowing him a glimpse of her soul. “Then you arrived and I fell in love with you and—” she sniffed “—I was forced to admit my real fear.”
“Your real fear?”
“That I’m not good enough.”
“Good enough for what?”
“For you, Nelson.”
“Where the hell did you get that idea? I proposed to you, didn’t I? I said I loved you. I never—”
“Shh.” She touched his arm. “You never once made me feel inferior, Nelson. But in here—” she touched her palm to her heart “—I believed I wasn’t an exciting enough woman for you. Wasn’t pretty enough. Educated enough. Sophisticated enough. I was sure that after the newness of sleeping with me wore off, you’d move on.”
“He really did a job on you, didn’t he?” Nelson’s gut burned with anger at her deceased husband.
Her eyes teared. “I’ve never told anyone this, but Buck asked me for a divorce a week before he died.”
“I’m sorry, angel.” He gathered her into his arms.
“Buck said I was uninspiring. A rock around his neck.” She clasped Nelson’s face between her hands. “Until you, I hadn’t realized I’d lost the most important thing.”
“What did you lose, Ellen?” he whispered. I promise we won’t stop looking until we find it.
“My self-esteem.” She poked a finger in her chest. “I was so angry and hurt when you walked out after the storm. I bawled my head off for hours.”
An image of Ellen, face buried in a pillow, sobbing, flashed before Nelson’s eyes and he cringed.
“But you leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me.”
Confused, he asked, “How?”
“I took a long gander in the mirror and…I was ashamed at the coward that stared back at me.” She gave herself another poke. “I believe I deserve better from life than what I’ve allowed myself and my son to have. Seth should have a chance to reach for his own dreams.” She lifted her chin. “But I don’t intend to be a burden to you.”
“You’ll never be a burden. And just for the record, Ellen, you inspire the hell out of me. You made me realize that while I thought I was living life to the fullest by devoting every waking hour to the business, I was, instead, letting life pass me by.”
“Oh, Nelson. I have so many dreams”
“Do I figure into any of them?”
Her smile rivaled the sun. “Yes.”
“Then why are you running away from me?”
“Nelson, which direction is the truck pointing?”
“East.” What did that have to do with anything?
She slipped her arms around his waist. “I’m not running from you. I’m running to you.”
When Ellen’s words sank in, Nelson’s breath left his lungs in one huge gust of air. He buried his face in her neck, afraid to speak for fear his voice would break.
“I love you with all my heart, Nelson.”
Cupping her face, he searched her eyes. “I promise to help you reach your dreams.”
“I’m glad, because here’s my biggest dream of all.” She clasped both his hands in hers. “Nelson McKade, will you marry me and be the kind of father Seth deserves?”
Throat tight with emotion, he assured her, “I’d be honored to marry you, Ellen. There’s nothing that would make me happier than to be your husband and Seth’s father.”
“Are you guys gonna get all mushy and stuff?” Seth hollered, his head hanging out the driver’s side window.
“Yes!” Ellen and Nelson shouted in unison.
The teen stuck his finger in his mouth and made a gagging sound, then slouched in the seat until only the top of his head remained visible.
“I’m going to make sure we have an adults-only honeymoon,” Nelson grumbled before capturing Ellen’s mouth. He brushed his lips across hers, reacquainting himself with the soft flesh before tasting the sweetness inside. He could have kissed her forever, but she wiggled loose from his hold and told him, “I’ll grab my purse from the truck while you load our luggage in your car.”
Nelson grinned like a buffoon.
Acquiescence wasn’t such a bad thing if Ellen Tanner-McKade was the woman he had to take orders from the rest of his life.
ISBN: 978-1-4603-6999-9
NELSON IN COMMAND
Copyright © 2007 by Brenda Smith-Beagley.
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† The McKade Brothers