Start Me Up

by Victoria Dahl

  She nodded.

  “One of the men noticed some marks at the edge of the trail, just at the top of the ridge. It’s awfully slick there right now.”

  Lori shook her head. “What do you mean?”

  “There are shoe prints in the mud, and some slide marks just above the water. Joe’s things are still at the campsite.”

  “He probably ran,” she insisted.

  Ben nodded but gave Quinn that same look again.

  Quinn understood it now. “Why don’t I take you home, Lori? You can get changed. Ben will let us know what they find.”

  “I don’t want to go,” she insisted.

  “You’re cold. Let’s at least go get changed. Then we can come back and wait.”

  “No.”

  What could he do? Tired of trying to silently communicate with Ben, Quinn convinced Lori to at least sit in the car. Then he made his way back to Ben.

  “What is it you’re trying to tell me?”

  Ben glanced toward Quinn’s car. “People don’t normally just make a confession like that and then go on their way.”

  “You implied he might have slipped.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I implied. But I’m not sure why he would’ve been that close to the edge in the first place.”

  “Oh. Shit.”

  “Yeah. I’d better get back. I’ll let you know as soon as—”

  Ben’s radio squawked, interrupting him, and he walked away to listen to the garbled message. When he turned back, his face was grim. Lori must have seen it. She got out of the car and stared at him.

  “I’m sorry,” Ben said. “They found him in the river just past the campsite.”

  Lori’s whole body stiffened. “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” Ben repeated.

  “He’s…dead?”

  “Yes.”

  “But…he was just right there. He waved goodbye. He…” Her face drained of all its color and Quinn reached for her. “Oh,” she murmured. “Maybe…”

  Ben’s gaze strayed to the ground for a brief moment, before he looked back to Lori. “It was an accident. And the river’s only a few feet deep there. It was over quickly.”

  “But, do you think…?”

  Quinn didn’t let her finish the question. He pulled her into a hug and held her tight to his chest. “Let me take you home.”

  Her hand clutched at his shirt. “We can’t just leave him here. Not like that. I can’t believe he…”

  “All right. Okay. Ben, how long will it be?”

  “Hopefully no more than an hour, but it could be longer.”

  “We’ll wait in the car.”

  Ben’s head dropped. He put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground for a moment before he shook off whatever emotion had gripped him. “I’ll try to speed it up. I need to ask you both some questions, but it can wait till tomorrow. Keep her warm.”

  “I will.”

  She fell back into her silence in the car. Quinn could only watch helplessly and wait.

  Two hours later, it was over. Lori was bundled into his bed in a sweatshirt and socks, warm and dry and still silent. He’d rescued her, finally, and found that it didn’t feel nearly as good as he’d imagined.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  A FLUTTERY YELLOW butterfly hovered just an inch above the tanned skin of Lori’s knee. It moved slightly closer, then away, then closer still. She’d heard they were attracted to the salt on people’s skin, but she was pretty sure she hadn’t started sweating yet. It was only 11:00 a.m.

  Mesmerized, she watched as it drew ever closer. For some reason it seemed important that it land. That exaggerated importance was likely a result of her recent descent into complete, trancelike inaction. For the past seven days, she’d done nothing but sit in a lounge chair on the front sidewalk of her house.

  On each day, Quinn had stopped by to bring her lunch. Sometimes he came for dinner, too. Sometimes he stayed the night.

  She was leaning on him, and it felt nice, and that scared her to death. But she seemed incapable of doing anything but showering, making coffee and sitting on this sun-faded chair until Quinn delivered something for her to eat.

  The butterfly finally landed. It folded its marigold wings, and Lori released a silent breath. Good.

  A few minutes later, a car pulled into the lot, gravel pinging against its underside, but the butterfly didn’t move. She kept her gaze tightly focused on its tiny antennae.

  “Hey,” Quinn’s voice said. “How are you doing this morning?”

  “Good.”

  The wings twitched when he stepped closer, then fanned open. “Did you make a new friend?” he asked.

  Lori smiled. “I think I did. Though it might be more interested in my lavender lotion than my winning personality.”

  “Mmm.” Quinn stared with her for a while, then cleared his throat. “You want to come for a ride with me?”

  “Sure,” she answered before she realized that a ride would entail not only chasing off the butterfly, but also getting up from her lounge chair. Crap. “Well…”

  “Come on.” Quinn reached for her hand and the butterfly fluttered up, zigzagging away from her leg.

  Lori sighed. There was no point staying now anyway. She shoved herself to her feet and let Quinn pull her toward his car. Once she was in the passenger seat with wind rushing through her curls, Lori found herself waking up a little.

  “It’s a beautiful day,” Quinn ventured.

  Lori looked around. It was a beautiful day. “Yeah,” she agreed. “This is nice, actually. Thank you.”

  One deep breath seemed to open up some closed door inside her. A second breath chased out the damp, stale air that had filled her up.

  She’d been grieving, she realized. Finally. For her father and for Joe, too. Maybe even for the woman she’d wanted her mother to be.

  When she glanced over at Quinn, he smiled and took her hand. She smiled back. “Where are we going?”

  “Up to my place. I thought maybe you’d like to vary the angle on your tan a little bit.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Oh, yeah? Do I still get lunch?”

  “Yes, there’s lunch, too. I’m quite clear on what my duties are.”

  “Good.”

  His thumb trailed over the inside of her wrist, reminding Lori of the very first time he’d held her hand. A lifetime ago. Now the summer was almost over. Quinn would go back to Aspen. And Lori…Well, Lori didn’t know what she was going to do.

  But Quinn seemed confident in his plans. He drove them through the tunnel of trees that was his driveway, then parked right next to the old cabin.

  “Are you going to tear this down?” she asked.

  “No way. I love this place.”

  “I’m not sure it goes with your house.”

  He shrugged and got out to open her door. “It’s my house,” he said as she took his hand and stood. “If I say it goes, it goes.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  They didn’t head toward the cabin, though. Quinn tugged her toward the white lines of the foundation. She thought he was offering another tour, but they skirted the cement walls and circled to what would be the back of the house. When she looked up, she found herself facing the view she’d seen on Quinn’s computer. And in real life, it was just as breathtaking as she’d imagined it would be. As she watched, an eagle circled by before gliding out of the range of her sight.

  “It’s so amazing.”

  Quinn’s only response was to tuck one of her curls behind her ear. He let her look for a moment, then pulled her farther on. The rock dropped two feet lower here, so Quinn jumped down and lowered Lori by her waist. A few steps farther and the rock dropped again. This time Lori jumped on her own. Her muscles stretched with life. It felt good to move.

  “Careful here,” he cautioned, gesturing toward the very edge of the rock. Beyond it, Lori could see nothing but blue sky and treetops. She followed Quinn to the right and down one more drop before she spied th
e quilt spread out on the rock.

  A picnic. In the wilderness. Lori glanced around. “Aren’t there bears up here?”

  Quinn froze and spun slowly toward her. “What is it with you and bears?”

  “They’re dangerous,” she insisted.

  “No more dangerous than mountain lions or rutting elk. And I swear I’ve never seen a bear on my lot. So, is it a phobia?”

  “No! They are deadly animals!”

  He sighed. “Just spill it already.”

  “Oh, fine.” She blew a curl out of her eyes. “It’s no big deal. When I was a little girl, my dad and I went camping in Yellowstone. The rangers were always giving lectures about bears. Stay away from them. Don’t get out of your vehicles to look. Keep your food in bear-proof containers and don’t store food in your tent. Frankly, it was scary. On our third day there, we drove the northern part of the park and finally saw some grizzlies. And everyone—everyone—was getting out of their cars to take pictures. I was sure the bears would start eating them at any moment. I got really upset. Terrified. There may have been a few nightmares involved.

  “Then a few weeks after we got home, I went to take the trash out, and there it was. A bear, digging through our garbage. I thought it was the end of me. I don’t know how long I stood there, shaking, but the bear finally stood up, looked at me, and left. The end.”

  Quinn crossed his arms and tried to look serious.

  “Shut up.”

  “I’m sorry.” He coughed to hide a laugh. “It’s not funny. But I think we’re safe here. I don’t think bears like cliffs.”

  She could tell he was making that up, but Lori tried her best not to worry. Beyond him, the picnic awaited, and she could see real china and wineglasses, along with a sweating bottle of wine sticking out of a tub of ice. Quinn had put a lot of effort into this.

  Lori walked determinedly over to the blanket and sat down. Quinn joined her, and once her anxiety receded, she realized she could hear running water. For a brief moment, she thought of the river before she shoved those thoughts away and slammed a mental door. This wasn’t the river. It was just a tiny waterfall trickling down the rock face to her right.

  “It’s beautiful here.” She sighed.

  “This is my favorite spot. I’m going to put in some rough steps, but otherwise I won’t change it at all.”

  “Good. It’s wonderful the way it is.”

  Silence reigned over their meal as Quinn served up fruit and sandwiches and cucumber salad, all of it still in containers from the fancy Aspen market. They faced the view as they ate, each comfortable with their own thoughts.

  Once she’d polished off her frosted brownie, Lori groaned and lay back on the quilt. “Thank you for bringing me here. It feels good to get out.”

  “I thought maybe we could talk,” he said, and Lori’s muscles tensed despite the hot sun and perfect breeze.

  Talking. That was never good. Never. She stayed as still as a deer frozen at the sound of a snapping twig.

  “I’ve been thinking…” he started. Another bad sign. “You know I don’t want to end this, Lori. I’ve already made that clear.”

  “Mmm.”

  “I want you to come live with me.”

  “What?” She’d worried he was about to make a grand declaration of love that she’d have to wiggle away from. But this? This was crazy. “I can’t come live with you!”

  “Sure you can.”

  “I live in Tumble Creek.”

  “Come on, Lori. There’s nothing left for you in Tumble Creek. You don’t belong there.”

  Lori’s jaw fell open. He’d said it so casually, as if it weren’t her whole life he’d just tossed aside. “It’s my home,” she forced past her tight throat.

  “It’s where you live, sure.”

  “It’s my life.”’

  When he sighed, he sounded exactly as if he were dealing with a recalcitrant child. “You don’t have a life.”

  Wow. Lori squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them and looked up, she saw a tiny puff of cloud drifting across the never-ending sky. “Did you really just say that?”

  “Somebody needs to say it. You’re dying there, Lori. You already said you were going to sell your dad’s land. It’s the perfect time for you to move on. And I thought…Well, I thought I’d love it if you came to live with me.”

  The cloud slowly tore in two. “You thought I could just move in with you, no problem.”

  He paused for just a moment. “Yeah.”

  “You thought I could sell my dad’s land, close the garage, pack up and move in with you.”

  Despite his obtuseness, Quinn finally seemed to pick up on the tone of her voice. “Um…” he muttered, “yeah.”

  “And would you take care of me? Pay for everything? Fly me around the world to keep you company on trips? I wouldn’t have to worry about bills or work or responsibilities?”

  This time his answer was more a hum than a word.

  “Thanks,” she snapped. “But no thanks.” When she scrambled to her feet, Quinn jumped up to follow her.

  “Lori, I’m not suggesting you hang around and eat bonbons while I go out and bring home the bacon. You need to get back to school.”

  “I can handle my life on my own, thanks!”

  “Oh, really?” he countered. “Because you haven’t done a damn thing in ten years!”

  She stopped so quickly that Quinn plowed into her back and nearly knocked her over. “Fuck. You. I was kind of busy for most of the past decade, asshole. I couldn’t exactly go hang out with the kids on the quad.”

  When she started to turn away, Quinn grabbed her arm. “Don’t give me that,” he growled. “I like you too much to put up with your self-pity. You could have taken summer classes at Western State. You could have signed up for an online course. Hell, you could have done more than that in the past year. You could hit the road and see something instead of sitting in your old room watching travel videos.”

  Her gasp echoed off the rock walls that surrounded them. “You…” Oh, God. Had he looked in her old bedroom? Humiliation washed over her skin in a wave of fire.

  “Shit,” he cursed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I know I’m saying this all wrong. But, Lori, you’re wasting your life.”

  She swallowed the tears that wanted to rise. “There’s nothing wrong with being a mechanic, you arrogant shit.”

  “No, there’s nothing wrong with being a mechanic if that’s what you love doing. And there’s nothing wrong with Tumble Creek, either. But you never wanted to stay here and work in the shop. You’ve never even pretended you wanted to. You had dreams when you left here ten years ago, and you’ve got dreams now.”

  She jerked her arm from his grip. “I’m not an eighteen-year-old kid anymore.”

  “No, you’re not eighteen. But if you want to go to college, you can work at some crappy job in between classes just like any other freshman. Hell, you don’t even have to worry about an apartment if you want to live with me. So what’s so different about it? What are you afraid of?”

  “What’s so different? Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I am serious.”

  “What’s so different is that when I left here to go to college, I had a family and a home. I had a father. I belonged somewhere. No matter where I went, no matter what I did, I could always come home. But if I sell everything and leave Tumble Creek with nothing…I won’t belong anywhere, Quinn. If I’m not Lori Love the girl mechanic, I’m no one.”

  “That’s not true. That’s not who you are.”

  “Well then, who am I?”

  “Lori…” He threw up his hands in frustration. “You can be anybody you want.”

  “Like your live-in mistress.”

  “Oh, come on! I want to be with you. And you won’t even consider a long-distance relationship.”

  “Quinn…Jesus.” A tear finally leaked from her eye and she swiped it off her cheek. “You’re asking me to give up everything—everything—
to be your girlfriend.”

  “No, it’s not like that.”

  “No? All right then. Why don’t you sell your business and come live with me?”

  “Don’t be ri—” He cut off his own words and paused for a moment, hand still held high as if he’d finish his sweeping gesture.

  “Yeah, it’d be ridiculous. So please don’t ask me to give up my little life to come live in yours.”

  His hand fell. He dropped his chin and stared at the ground. She watched him for a long moment. She looked at his broad shoulders and the way the sleeves of his green T-shirt stretched tight against his biceps. She traced the muscles down to his forearm and thought of the way those crisp hairs felt under her fingers. This moment was a memory, even as she lived it. It was a memory she needed to gather up and take home with her. His dark gold hair ruffled in the breeze when he looked up. His eyes were swirls of brown and green.

  She’d never have another lover like him. She knew that. Even if she traveled the whole world.

  Quinn rolled his shoulders and shook his head. “I don’t want you to give up anything for me. Not for me.”

  “Good.”

  “I just want…I want something better for you. That’s all.”

  Lori took a deep breath and let it out as slowly as she could. The urge to scream and cry faded away. She met his gaze. “Regardless of whether my life is perfect or not, it’s not for you to decide that it’s worthless. Nobody has that right.”

  “I didn’t—”

  “Now, will you take me home? I just want to go home.”

  “Lori…” The word was a plea, but what the hell did he want from her?

  She shook her head and walked past him. When she got to his car, she heard the locks pop open and got in. He joined her, and the silence between them was no longer comfortable, but it lasted the whole way back.

  When he pulled to a stop in front of her door, Quinn reached to turn off the ignition, but Lori stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Don’t. This is over, Quinn. It’s already September. The summer is done. You knew it was never supposed to be anything more than that.”

  He looked at her hand for a long time, her fingers curled over his flesh. He stared at her skin on his. Then he shifted his narrowed gaze to her face. “You’re being a coward, Lori. And you know it.”