Turkeys We Have Loved and Eaten

by Barbara Park

  When a teacher smiles, everything feels better.

  6

  Something in Common

  Mr. Scary roamed his eyes around the circle.

  “Okay, let’s get started again. Who has brought something so, so special that you can’t wait one more second to show us?”

  “ME!” I shouted. “ME, ME, ME!”

  “NO, ME! ME! ME!” shouted May, even louder.

  Then she quick jumped up. And she reached into her Thankful Bag.

  And so I quick jumped up. And I reached into my Thankful Bag, too!

  And then BOOM!

  Both of us pulled out our thankful items at the very same time!

  And I could not believe my eyeballs, I tell you!

  On account of me and May brought the same thankful item from home!

  And here is the shockingest part of all.

  They were the exact same stuffed elephants!

  It still takes my breathing away to think about that.

  ’Cause me and May are nothing alike.

  And so how can we be thankful for the same elephants?

  Both of us kept staring at this terrible situation. We could not even say any words.

  Mr. Scary leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Well, this is very interesting, isn’t it?” he said.

  His smile got bigger.

  “I actually love this, girls,” he said. “It just shows us that even when people are quite different from each other, they can still have things in common.”

  He stood up.

  “That’s what happened with the Native Americans and the Pilgrims, remember?” he asked. “Even though they were different from each other, they were thankful for many of the same things. And that allowed them to become friends.”

  I quick raised my hand.

  “Yeah, only May and I are not friends, Mr. Scary. Plus I don’t even get Pilgrims,” I said. “Their costumes look hottish and sweatish.”

  May stepped in front of me.

  “Well, I love Pilgrims!” she said. “I wish I was wearing hot, sweaty Pilgrim clothes right now.”

  I did a huff at her.

  “If I was an Indian, I would not eat squash with you,” I said.

  Mr. Scary laughed.

  “See, girls? See how different you are?” he said. “But look! You’re both thankful for the same little toy.”

  I frowned my eyes at that comment.

  “Philip Johnny Bob is not a little toy, Mr. Scary,” I said, real annoyed. “Philip Johnny Bob is the bestest stuffed-animal friend I’ve ever had.”

  May nodded. “And my elephant is my best stuffed-animal friend, too,” she said. “His name is Police Sergeant Chuck. And I have known him since my mother brought him home from the store.”

  She held him up for everyone to see.

  “My mother made this little police uniform for him. See it, everyone?” she said. “He has a little police jacket. And a little police hat. And a shiny little police badge.”

  She looked at Philip Johnny Bob and made a face.

  “Police Sergeant Chuck does not have patches sewed on him like Junie Jones’s old elephant,” she said. “Junie Jones’s old elephant has been all torn and ripped.”

  I made squinty eyes at her.

  “Yeah, only here is a news flash, madam,” I said. “In Mother Nature, elephants do not wear police uniforms. In Mother Nature, Police Sergeant Chuck would look like a nitwit.”

  Philip Johnny Bob laughed out loud.

  Ha! Good one, Junie B.! he said. Plus I LOVE my patches.

  Me and Philip have the same actual talking voice.

  I hugged him real tight. “Yes, I know you do, Phil,” I said. “Plus the only reason you have patches is because sometimes—when you and I wrestle—I accidentally throw you too high in the air. And then you land on the ceiling fan. And I have to turn up the fan speed to get you off. And then you fly across the room. And you land on the pointy living room lamp.”

  Philip hugged me back.

  But I love riding on the ceiling fan, he said. It’s fun.

  I smoothed his softy ears.

  “I know it is, Phil. That’s how come I throw you up there whenever Mother is out of the room,” I said.

  May did a gasp.

  “Friends do not throw friends on ceiling fans!” she said. “Riding on a ceiling fan is even against the law, I bet!”

  Police Sergeant Chuck nodded real fast. Yes! Yes! I bet I could arrest him for that! he said.

  Chuck and May have the same voice, too.

  May smiled. “Yes! I bet you could, too!” she said.

  And so Police Sergeant Chuck got right in Phil’s face. And he said, I’m taking you to jail, Peanut Butter and Johnny!

  Then he bopped Phil in the head with his trunk.

  And so Philip bopped him back.

  And then BAM!

  They wrestled all around in the air!

  And they bopped and flopped and socked and thunked.

  Plus also, they chased each other around the Show-and-Tell circle.

  All of Room One laughed and clapped.

  It was very joyful.

  Then—“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!”

  A loud voice interrupted all the excitement.

  “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO!” it said. “RIGHT NOW!”

  Everyone looked up.

  Mr. Scary’s face was reddish and maddish. Also, his hair looked wildish and spriggish.

  Me and May stopped running speedy fast.

  Phil and Chuck stopped running, too.

  Mr. Scary ran his fingers through his wildish hair. “What do you girls think you’re doing?” he said.

  Me and May looked nervous at each other.

  We rocked back and forth on our feet. And we tried to think real fast.

  “Um … well … let’s see,” I said very shaky. “What do we think we’re doing, May?”

  May’s voice was shaky, too. “Uh … hmm, well, right now, we think Police Sergeant Chuck is chasing Peanut Butter and Johnny. Because Peanut Butter and Johnny is running away from him.”

  She glanced her eyes at me. “Right, Junie Jones?”

  I nodded my fastest.

  “Yes,” I said. “That is because Peanut Butter and Johnny does not want to be arrested by a nitwit elephant in a police suit.”

  Just then, Police Sergeant Chuck looked shocked at me.

  Hey! he shouted. You can’t say that!

  Then he turned around to May.

  And he hollered, Cuff him!

  And before I knew it, May pulled some teensy handcuffs out of Chuck’s jacket. And she tried to put them on Philip Johnny Bob.

  But ha!

  Philip was way too fast for her! And he ducked out of the way.

  Then me and Phil started to run again.

  Only this time, Mr. Scary stepped in front of us.

  And he took Philip right out of my hands!

  Plus he took Police Sergeant Chuck out of May’s hands, too.

  After that, he snapped his loud fingers for us to sit down.

  And so both of us sat.

  End of joy.

  7

  Stinky

  Mr. Scary put our elephants on his desk.

  He did a sigh at May and me.

  Then he went to the board. And he thought for a minute.

  “Okay, you two. I’m going to put your friends on our Thankful List. But I am not happy with the way you behaved just now. And we will definitely talk about this later,” he said.

  Roger looked over at us. “Welcome to the club,” he said.

  Mr. Scary frowned at him. Then he added our elephants to the list on the board.

  After he finished, he stood back. And he read the list out loud.

  1. CRANBERRY JELLY IN A CAN

  2. EXPLODING BISCUITS

  3. NIPSY DOODLES

  4. RAINBOW SPRINKLES

  5. TOILET PAPER

  6. MONEY

  7. PHILIP JOHNNY BOB

  8. POLICE SERGEANT CHUCK />
  “Well,” he said. “This list might not win us a pumpkin pie, but it certainly is unusual, isn’t it?”

  I smiled and nodded. “Yes,” I said. “Plus we don’t even care about the pumpkin pie, remember that? Pumpkin pie makes us vomit.”

  Mr. Scary looked at me.

  “Yes. I do remember that, Junie B. But thank you for mentioning it again,” he said.

  “Not a problem,” I said.

  Just then, Lennie waved his hand real urgent.

  “Ooooh! Ooooh! Here is a little pumpkin pie trick I learned last Thanksgiving,” he said. “I don’t actually swallow the pie. Instead, I just keep it in my mouth until my grandmother thinks I swallowed it. And then I run into the bathroom. And I spit it in the sink.”

  Mr. Scary closed his eyes. “Good to know, Len,” he said.

  Lucille jumped up and did a fluff.

  “I have a pumpkin pie trick, too,” she said. “First, I put the pie on my fork. Then I plop it in the rich, expensive napkin that is on my lap. And I wad it all up. And then I skip it into the kitchen. And I give it to our rich, expensive chef.”

  She did a few more fluffs.

  “After that, I don’t know what happens to it,” she said. Then she spun herself back into her chair.

  All of Room One thought for a minute.

  Then other children started calling out pumpkin pie tricks, too. And so Mr. Scary quick held up his hand.

  “Stop. Please, boys and girls. I get it that you don’t like pumpkin pie,” he said. “It’s just that I don’t want anyone to be disappointed if we don’t win the contest.”

  All of us looked around at each other.

  Then Herbert raised his hand.

  “But see … we think that you’re the one who is disappointed, Mr. Scary,” he said. “May said that you hate our Thankful List because we’re not being thankful for the right stuff.”

  May popped up from her seat.

  “I tried to get them to change it, Mr. Scary,” she said. “My mother, Mrs. Mary Murkee, made us a brand-new Thankful List you would really like. But everyone wanted to stay with Nipsy Doodles and exploding biscuits. So it is their fault we won’t win that disgusting pie for you!”

  I looked at her real angry. “I would like to explode a biscuit on your head right now,” I said.

  Then everyone laughed.

  Except not May. Plus not Mr. Scary.

  He did a glare at me.

  “Whoops. Sorry,” I said. “That was very too harsh.”

  Mr. Scary turned back to the class.

  “Boys and girls, please believe me. I will not be disappointed if we don’t win the pumpkin pie,” he said. “I promise.”

  He paused for a second.

  Then his face got a little smile on it. And he made his voice real secret.

  “Shh. Don’t tell anyone, okay? But I don’t like pumpkin pie, either,” he whispered.

  Room One got very quiet.

  Then HA!

  All of us started laughing at once!

  ’Cause sometimes teachers are just like normal people, almost!

  Mr. Scary looked at the clock. “Okay, everyone. I think we have time for two more thankful items before lunch. Who would like to go next?” he said.

  Shirley raised her hand.

  “I would! I would!” she said. “I have been waiting to show this all morning!”

  Then she quick stood up. And she reached into her Thankful Bag.

  And she pulled out a box of—

  “SNAUSAGES!” she shouted. “I AM THANKFUL FOR SNAUSAGES!”

  Mr. Scary raised his eyebrows. “Snausages, Shirley?” he asked. “Really?”

  “Yes,” said Shirley. “Snausages are little sausage snacks for dogs. And last year—when my dog Stinky got sick—he wouldn’t take his pills to get better. So my mother stuck his pills in Snausages. And then Stinky ate them! And he got better! And so Snausages saved Stinky’s life!”

  “Whoa!” said Herbert.

  “Wow!” said Lennie. “That is a powerful Snausage story, Shirley.”

  “I know it,” she said. “We are trying to get it made into a major motion picture starring Stinky.”

  After that, she passed around a Snausage snack. Plus also, she passed around a picture of Stinky.

  Mr. Scary went to the board. And he wrote number nine.

  9. SNAUSAGES

  Then he winked at Shirley. And he added number ten.

  10. STINKY

  Shirley beamed from ear to ear.

  All of Room One beamed, too.

  The day was getting happier.

  8

  Three Squeezes

  Mr. Scary checked the clock again.

  “Okay. It’s time for our last thankful item before lunch,” he said. “Shirley’s Snausage story was so nice. I’m wondering if anyone else has an animal you’re thankful for.”

  Sheldon’s hand shot up like a rocket.

  “I do! I do, Mr. Scary! I have three animals I am thankful for! And guess what? I got my picture taken with every single one of them!”

  He quick leaned down to his Thankful Bag. And he started searching through it.

  He stopped to glance up.

  “And here’s the part that you’re really going to love,” he said. “All of the animals are Thanksgiving animals, Mr. Scary! All of them are turkeys!”

  Mr. Scary looked happy at that news.

  “Turkeys?” he said. “No kidding, Sheldon? That’s great!”

  “I know it!” said Sheldon. “My uncle Vern has turkeys at his house. And he took pictures of me with the three that I love the most.”

  Mr. Scary smiled real big.

  “This is perfect, Sheldon! I didn’t even know that your uncle Vern was a turkey farmer.”

  Sheldon looked puzzled. “He’s not,” he said. “Uncle Vern and Aunt Bunny live out in the woods.”

  He did a pause.

  “They moved out there to get away from the law,” he said.

  Mr. Scary cleared his throat real nervous. “Yes. Well, um … that’s fine, Sheldon. But that story is really none of our business,” he said.

  Well, I think it’s our business! shouted a loud voice. I think he should be arrested!

  All of our eyes turned to May.

  Her face looked shocked at us.

  “Don’t look at me! I didn’t say that! It was him!” she said.

  Then she quick pointed to Police Sergeant Chuck on Mr. Scary’s desk.

  Mr. Scary rolled his eyes very annoyed.

  He told May to button her lips.

  She started to sputter. “But … but … but …”

  Mr. Scary snapped his fingers at her. Then he turned back to Sheldon.

  “Please forgive that interruption, Sheldon,” he said. “I really can’t wait to see your turkey pictures! I’ve seen wild turkeys when I’ve been hiking. But I’ve never been close enough to get a picture.”

  “Really?” said Sheldon. “That’s odd. It’s easy to get turkey pictures at Uncle Vern’s. He brings them right inside his camper.”

  Mr. Scary’s face went funny. But he didn’t say any words.

  Then, all of a sudden, Sheldon found the pictures he was looking for in his Thankful Bag. And his whole face lighted up.

  “I found them! Here they are! Here are the pictures of me and my three favorite turkeys at Uncle Vern’s!” he said.

  He took them out and put them in order.

  “Number one is Gary Gobbles.

  “Number two is Harry Gobbles.

  “And number three is Larry Gobbles!”

  He smiled real big at that one.

  “Larry was from last year,” he said. “He is the turkey I loved the most.”

  He jumped up and held Larry’s picture for all of us to see.

  “Look, everyone. See him? See Larry?”

  We leaned in closer.

  Then all of our faces went funny.

  Plus Mr. Scary’s face went funny again, too.

  “Oh,
uh, well … this isn’t what we expected, Sheldon,” he said. “This isn’t a picture of a wild turkey in the woods, is it?”

  He did a hard swallow. “This is a picture of a cooked turkey … on your plate … and you’re eating it.”

  Sheldon nodded real happy.

  “Yes,” he said. “I know. At Thanksgiving, we take pictures of the delicious turkeys we have loved and eaten. And this is Larry from last year.”

  He looked curious at our teacher.

  “Don’t you take pictures of your Thanksgiving dinners?” he asked.

  Mr. Scary thought a minute.

  “Well, yes. Now that I think about it, we do, Sheldon. We do take pictures of our Thanksgiving meals,” he said.

  Sheldon smiled at Larry again.

  “Larry was my favorite,” he said. “Look. See? Uncle Vern gave me the drumstick. In our family, it is an honor to get a Thanksgiving drumstick.”

  Sheldon stood up straight and tall. “The drumstick is what a king gets,” he said real proud.

  I thought about that.

  “I’ve never gotten a drumstick,” I said real disappointed.

  “Me neither,” said my friend Herbert. “My mother says if she gives me the drumstick, I’ll slop it on the tablecloth.”

  Sheldon beamed. “My uncle Vern didn’t care if I slopped it,” he said. “He just told me, ‘Enjoy it, Sheldon!’ ”

  Sheldon grinned real big.

  “And here is something else I love about Thanksgiving at Uncle Vern’s,” he said. “Before we eat, we all hold hands around the table. And we squeeze each other’s hands three times.”

  He joined his two hands together. And he showed us how to squeeze.

  “One squeeze … two squeezes … three squeezes,” he said. “Three squeezes stand for three special words.”

  He looked around the room. “Can anyone guess what the three special words are?” he asked.

  Room One thought and thought. But we could not come up with the three special words.

  Finally, Mr. Scary put his hand on Sheldon’s shoulder. And he smiled down at him.

  “I love you,” he said.

  Sheldon stood there for a second.

  Then he smiled kind of shy.

  “Well, uh … I love you, too,” he said. “But can you guess what words the three squeezes stand for?”