Turkeys We Have Loved and Eaten

by Barbara Park

  Mrs. Gutzman was holding two pie boxes in her hands.

  She put them down and waved at me.

  “Hello, Junie B. Jones! Hello, children!” she said. “Congratulations on winning the Thankful Contest!”

  She took out a pumpkin pie. And she held it up for everyone to see.

  “Boys and girls, I baked these pumpkin pies for you myself! And I used my own family recipe,” she said. “These pies will just melt in your mouth!”

  Lennie looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Mine will be melting in the cleanup sink,” he said.

  “Ditto,” I said. Ditto is the grown-up word for mine will be melting in the cleanup sink, too.

  Herb’s face looked bluckish and sickish. “I just want to get it over with,” he said.

  Lennie nodded.

  “Let’s do it,” he said. “Let’s hurry up and get our pie. And then we’ll do a quick spit in the cleanup sink. And it will be all over.”

  Mrs. Gutzman started dishing out the pie.

  Me and Herb and Lennie took a deep breath.

  Then we quick ran to the pie table.

  And we each grabbed a plate.

  And we ran to the cleanup sink speedy fast.

  We looked at the pie and made sick faces.

  Then we took another deep breath.

  And … READY … SET … GO!

  All of us shoved some pie in our mouths!

  After that, we stood there very still. And we let it just sit there.

  It felt cold and squishy.

  I smacked my lips a little bit.

  Herb and Lennie smacked their lips, too.

  Then, one, two, three … GULP!

  We swallowed our pie at the exact same time.

  And wowie wow wow!

  That stuff was delicious, I tell you!

  My head had confusion in it.

  “Wait. Hold it. I don’t get it,” I said. “I hate pumpkin pie. But this pumpkin pie tastes delightful.”

  Herb smacked some more.

  “Yes,” he said. “It does taste delightful.”

  Lennie did not talk.

  He was busy licking his plate.

  After he finished, he looked up and smiled.

  “Mrs. Gutzman is magic!” he said.

  All of us laughed real happy.

  ’Cause that was the answer. Gladys Gutzman is magic.

  We hurried back to the pie table for seconds.

  “Thank you, Gladys! Thank you! Thank you!” I said real loud. “This is the bestest first prize I ever ate!”

  I ran and hugged her real happy.

  Mrs. Gutzman did a chuckle.

  Then she leaned down.

  And she hugged me back.

  And she said don’t call her Gladys.

  12

  Happy Turkey Day!

  After all the pie was gone, I threw my plate in Mr. Scary’s trash can.

  And oh dear! Oh dear! That’s when I saw him! Philip Johnny Bob was still sitting on the desk with Police Sergeant Chuck!

  And I had forgotten all about that guy!

  I ran over and picked him up. Then I hugged him real tight.

  “Philip!” I said. “How did I forget you? You have been sitting there for two whole days! And you did not have one thing to eat.”

  Philip nodded his head.

  I know it, he said. I would really like some cranberry jelly right now.

  I patted his softie head.

  “I know you would, Phil. But you can’t have cranberry jelly, remember?” I said. “We tried that last Thanksgiving. And you still have the cranberry stain on your mouth.”

  Phil quick wiped his face.

  Oh yeah … right, he said.

  He looked at the feast table again.

  Is there anything I can eat over there? he said.

  I did a sigh.

  “I don’t know, Phil,” I said. “At home, I just shove a peanut up your trunk. But no one brought nuts to the feast today.”

  I pointed to the carrot sticks.

  “What about those, Phil? Would you like me to put a carrot up your trunk?” I asked.

  Phil shook his head no. That would look gross, he said.

  I nodded. “Yes. You’re right,” I said. “It would look gross.”

  I looked around.

  Then, all of a sudden, I spotted a brand-new bag of Nipsy Doodles! They were sitting on Mr. Scary’s desk! And a Nipsy Doodle was just the right size for Phil!

  I quick opened the bag. And I put a Doodle in his trunk.

  YUM! said Philip. This Doodle is delicious! Thank you, Junie B.! Thank you!

  Just then, a voice shouted in my ear.

  Hey! Hold it! Those Doodles don’t belong to you, mister! You are under arrest!

  I quick spun around.

  The voice was coming from May. But she was pointing to Police Sergeant Chuck.

  She hurried to Mr. Scary’s desk. And she quick picked him up.

  And then BOOM!

  Out of nowhere, Chuck bopped Phil in the head with his trunk.

  You stole a Nipsy Doodle! And stealing is against the law! he said.

  Then May tried to take the Doodle right out of Philip’s trunk! But Philip ducked around her.

  Everyone looked to see the commotion.

  Mr. Scary frowned real big.

  May started to holler.

  “None of this is my fault!” she said. “Peanut Butter and Johnny has a Nipsy Doodle in his trunk! And Junie B. stole it for him!”

  I stamped my foot. “No, I did NOT!” I said. “Nipsy Doodles are part of our Thanksgiving feast! And feast food is for sharing.”

  May stamped her foot, too.

  “But that wasn’t sharing food, Junie Jones. That was a brand-new bag! And it belonged to Mr. Scary!”

  Then May tried to pull Phil away from me.

  But I pulled him back.

  Plus Philip bopped Chuck on his head.

  And then all of us got ready to wrestle.

  Only before we could even get started, Mr. Scary jumped in between us. And he stopped us from bopping each other.

  “Girls! Girls!” he said. “That’s enough! Have you forgotten that we have guests?”

  Me and May looked at our guests.

  May’s mother was frowning at us.

  Mother and Grandma Miller were frowning again, too.

  I glanced at my grampa Frank Miller.

  He did a wink.

  That was refreshing.

  Mr. Scary kept on talking.

  “I really don’t understand what gets into you girls when you pick up those elephants,” he said. “It’s such a puzzle to me.”

  I thought for a second.

  Then I did a little shrug.

  “I don’t know why it’s a puzzle,” I said. “Me and May are just playing with our elephants. And elephants like to bop each other.”

  May nodded her head.

  “Yes,” she said. “That’s what their trunks are for. Trunks are for bopping. That’s how elephants play.”

  I thought some more.

  Then I looked at May.

  “Yeah, only maybe Mr. Scary doesn’t know that, May,” I said. “Maybe he doesn’t have an elephant at home.”

  May did a pause.

  “Oh. Right,” she said. “I never thought of that.”

  She looked back at Mr. Scary. “Well, anyway … that’s how elephants play,” she said. “And so Junie Jones and I automatically know that.”

  I smiled. “Yes,” I said. “We do.”

  Then—all of a sudden—BLINK!

  A light bulb went off in my head!

  I did a gasp.

  “Mr. Scary, Mr. Scary! You were right!” I said. “Even though May and I are very different from each other, we both love elephants! And so that is how come we were almost being friends just now! ’Cause we have something in common! Just like the Pilgrims and the Native Americans!”

  May looked curious at me.

  “Yeah. But we’re not really, really f
riends. Right, Junie Jones?” she said. “It was just this one time. Correct?”

  “Correct!” I said back. “We can’t be friends forever, May! That would be ridiculous! We don’t even like each other!”

  May got relief in her face.

  “Whew. Okay. Good,” she said.

  “Because I really like being different from you.”

  “I know it, May! I like being different from you, too,” I said. “Very different.”

  May smiled.

  I smiled back.

  Then I tried to do a fist bump with her. But she did not see it coming. And I accidentally hit her in the arm.

  “Ow!” she said.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  May shrugged her shoulders. Then she rubbed it off.

  After that, we both skipped to our seats with our elephants. And we hugged our elephants real tight.

  It was a lovely moment, I think.

  But—all of a sudden—it got interrupted by shouting.

  I quick looked up.

  It was Sheldon and Uncle Vern and Grampa Ned Potts.

  “HAPPY TURKEY DAY! HAPPY TURKEY DAY!” they shouted real loud.

  They were holding hands in the front of the room.

  And they were doing three squeezes.

  All of the children stood up.

  We grinned from ear to ear.

  “HAPPY TURKEY DAY!” we shouted back.

  Mr. Scary looked at Room One.

  His face got beamy and proud.

  He was thankful for us, I believe.

  BARBARA PARK is beloved by millions as the author of the New York Times bestselling Junie B. Jones series. She has won over forty children’s book awards and has been featured in the New York Times, USA Today, and Time magazine. Twenty years after the world’s funniest kindergartner debuted, Barbara says, “I’ve never been sure whether Junie B.’s fans love her in spite of her imperfections or because of them. Either way, she’s gone out into the world and made more friends than I ever dreamed possible.”

  Barbara Park is also the author of award-winning middle-grade novels and picture books, including Mick Harte Was Here, The Graduation of Jake Moon, and MA! There’s Nothing to Do Here! She and her husband, Richard, live in Arizona. Her family—which includes two of the handsomest little grandboys on the planet—lives nearby.

  DENISE BRUNKUS’S entertaining illustrations have appeared in over fifty books. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband.