The Price of Paradise

by C. S. Johnson

  “I saw it as something you did differently in different people’s company. When St. Cloud became my mentor, it was hard to maintain that line, since I knew he’d at least known about the Ecclesia. I never saw him emotionally connected with it, but then I never knew he had a family he loved, either.”

  Aerie snorted. “I didn’t know that either, especially after my mom left, to be honest.”

  She felt better at the sound of Exton’s small laugh. “Who knew our parents were such complicated people?” he wondered aloud.

  Aerie laughed at that and snuggled into Exton’s arm further. “Tell me more. What happened after you noticed the differences in the design and the product?”

  He heaved a deep sigh, one that seemed to come from the very center of his soul. “After one particularly bad fight with Papa, I mentioned the changes he was making to St. Cloud. He was surprised, likely both at the news and at my anger. I didn’t think my father was committing treason—well, that blatantly, anyway; the religion stuff didn’t bother me, though, on a practical level. When I told St. Cloud about the changes, he said he would look into it.”

  Aerie tightened her arms around him, as if she could sense what was coming.

  “Weeks passed and he said nothing else about it, so I assumed he found nothing to worry about or it was possible he even forgot about it.”

  “He didn’t,” Aerie said. Suddenly, she knew what her parents had been trying to tell her without really saying it: Exton was the reason St. Cloud had ultimately been forced to dispose of his father.

  Exton nodded. “No, he didn’t. He told me one day that he had special orders from Osgood and he wouldn’t be able to meet with me for one of our sessions. He gave me some work to do, but I finished much earlier than expected. I headed home.”

  “And you saw him confront your father.”

  “I came home in time to see him put the bullet through his heart. I held him as he bled out. I think I was in shock as much as he was.”

  At the detached quality of his words, Aerie gripped him harder. “It wasn’t your fault,” she told him. “There was nothing you could have done.”

  He gripped her arm tightly and let her hold onto him for a long, silent moment, as silent tears wet his cheeks. “I wish that were the truth,” he said.

  Aerie brushed the tears off his face. She felt him struggling not to be overwhelmed, as deep breaths wrecked through him.

  She lay her head down against his heart, listening as it beat furiously while he fought to regain his self-control.

  “You can cry if you want to,” Aerie told him softly.

  “Not if I want to finish the rest of the story,” he replied. He cleared his throat. “The rest of it is much less ... less emotional, I guess. My father died, my mother went into a deep depression, and Emery and I were not sure what to do. I backed away from St. Cloud once my shock turned into anger. I did it trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, telling him I changed my mind, and that I wanted to be an engineer instead of a military figure.”

  “He must’ve wondered if you were lying,” Aerie said. “I can’t see him backing down on something like that.”

  “He knew I was lying for sure when I managed to lead a group of defectors, mostly from the Ecclesia, but also some who were not religious, either, and steal the Paradise. It was, somewhat jokingly, renamed Perdition as I took over as Captain Chainsword.”

  “I already knew a lot of that,” Aerie said, thinking it through. “What else did the General tell you when we came here? Tell me.”

  This was the information she was waiting for. Aerie held her breath as she waited for him to speak.

  “He said my father was going to use the Paradise to attack the URS and destroy a good bit of the nation. Papa made it big enough to house their entire community and still allow them a generation or two to wait until the nuclear fallout was over, or they could find a new place to settle.”

  Aerie felt her eyes go wide. “Is that true?”

  “I don’t know,” Exton admitted glumly. “He said there was proof in the old plans of the Paradise in the Boötes system. It’s another web intranet the government in the military uses. Tyler hacked it for me this week.”

  “Have you seen it yet?” Aerie hoped she didn’t seem too eager to know, since it was something that caused him pain. But she knew, as he’d taught her before, that only the truth could provide the answers that would truly satisfy the seeker.

  “No,” he admitted. “I’ll take a look at it once I get down to Petra.”

  “You’re going to Petra?” Aerie asked. “Am I going too?”

  “No,” he said. “I was going to ask you to stay here and watch over the ship for me.”

  Before she could argue with him, he reached down and caressed her cheek. “I need to leave it in the hands of someone I trust,” he told her.

  “I don’t know,” Aerie said. “I’d rather be with you there, if you need support or something. I mean, I don’t want to believe the worst of your father, but ... but if it’s true, then you might need me.”

  “I always need you.” He sighed. “That was part of the reason I hesitated to tell you about all this, to be honest. I didn’t want you to be disgusted and leave.”

  “I’m not married to your father,” Aerie said. She looked up at him and grinned. “Just like you’re not married to my mother.”

  He gave her a tired smile back. “Well, that’s true. I never thought I would think that your parents deserved each other, but stranger things have happened.”

  “Emery says that God is a god of miracles,” Aerie said. “Maybe my parents finding each other is proof of that, in some weirder way.”

  Exton laughed this time, the sound hard against the ever-present pain she knew was still inside of him. “You are my miracle,” he said. “So I guess I should take comfort in the fact that someone I hate as much St. Cloud has one, too. Maybe there is hope for me yet.”

  “You’ve already known there is,” Aerie told him. “You just keep forgetting, for some reason.”

  “I married one smart lady.” He reached down and pulled Aerie up against him, then he pressed his lips against hers. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She shifted her legs, allowing her to sit in his lap comfortably. “But you are not going to kiss me so I’ll forget we’re in the middle of an argument.”

  Exton fisted his hands into her hair. “Oh, we’re arguing? About what?” Before she could answer, he kissed her again. And again. And then again.

  “Come on, we need to talk about you heading down to Petra,” Aerie said, as she pushed her hand against his chest. His mouth gently brushed against hers once more, and before she could regain her senses, they were all swept up into passionate silence. Her fingers curled around his shirt as she felt her brain turn to mush.

  ♦10♦

  Exton squeezed Aerie’s hand in his as they walked through the corridors of the Perdition, heading for the hangar. He watched, amused, as she used her other hand to straighten out her hair.

  “You don’t have to worry about your hair,” Exton told her with a smirk. “You look beautiful.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” Aerie grumbled, pulling free from him so she could pull back her hair into a haphazard ponytail.

  He grinned shamelessly. He knew she was right; it was much easier for him to come away from their interludes with less incriminating evidence. Looking at her now, he doubted it would be hard for anyone to see she had recently been kissed, and quite fervently. Her lips were swollen, her hair was mussed, and her eyes were still steamy.

  Of course, that could have been due to frustration as much as passion, he admitted. She was still determined to talk with him about his plans.

  As if on a cue, she turned their conversation to that very topic. “Now, tell me why you’re going to Petra. Even if Tyler did find something for you, shouldn’t you be here to watch over my father?”

  “That’s not the only reason I’m heading down,” Exton re
plied as they reached the elevator. “There’s been some developments. Another Craftcarrier seems to be moving to attack.”

  “Petra’s in trouble again?” Aerie dropped her hands from her hair.

  “No, not Petra this time. There’s a ship that deployed from Chaya that’s caught the attention of the Craftcarrier. My analysts have agreed it’s trouble, and Merra has offered to attack the carrier while we stage a rescue mission.”

  “You’re not going to be flying, are you?” Aerie asked.

  “No.” Exton shook his head. “I’m going down to Petra to help coordinate the mission, and to watch over your mother. She came to negotiate St. Cloud’s release today, and she was upset with me for denying her request. I want to make sure she’s not up to something.”

  “She’ll like the attack mission, probably.” Aerie sighed as they stepped in the elevator. “Before we left for the Perdition, I talked with Alice some. She was impressed with my mom’s flying and leadership skills.”

  Exton watched as Aerie’s face filled with worry. “I can vouch for her skills. I’m sure she will be okay.”

  “I’m more worried about you,” Aerie said. “I know my mother can handle herself. I mean, really, she’s been doing it for a longer time than I even knew about. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I’m not actually going to be fighting alongside her.” Exton took her hand once more, lacing his fingers through hers. The joy of feeling the delicate strength of her hands and the smoothness of her skin against his rough palms washed over him.

  Love was certainly a strange thing, he thought. How could something so deceptively simple shift the whole world from under his feet?

  Loving his family as he was growing up was both a choice and a duty. He was grateful that his parents were, for the most part, easy to love; they loved him, and he loved them back. Emery was a sister and a friend, and he knew he would not be half the man he was without her. His family life had been stable and full of jubilance, allowing the darkness of each human heart to easily slide by the wayside. Between his family and their friends, Exton had thought he’d learned everything when it came to love.

  Aerie was still so much of a surprise to him.

  Exton watched her as she bit her bottom lip, glancing all around as they headed toward the shuttle at the end of the hangar. He pulled her hand up and kissed her knuckles. “I trust you, Aerie,” he said. “The Perdition will be in good hands while I’m gone.”

  “What should I do?” Aerie asked. “I don’t know how to be captain.”

  “You’re not going to be captain, don’t worry. You’re only going to be my representative onboard. The rest of the crew can handle the job without my interference, but if they need help, I’ll be able to tell you what to do.”

  “Okay. If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I’d still rather go with you,” Aerie admitted, “but I am glad you trust me.” She gave him a bright, brave smile. “I will do my best.”

  He nodded. I’m glad she’s okay with this. Even if it’s the first time we’ll be apart since we found each other again ...

  At the thought of physically leaving her, being so far away, he faltered. Exton knew it was a precarious situation. There was an attack underway, and a counterattack and rescue mission to follow. He would be concerned with these issues while keeping watch over Merra, making sure she wasn’t up to anything mischievous, and he had the chance to check into St. Cloud’s claims about the Boötes system at the same time.

  Out the corner of his eye, he saw Merra coming down the gangway, and Tyler was making his way from across the runway.

  Exton took a deep breath. He decided it would be okay to leave Aerie on the Perdition. She would be safe. His crew knew how to handle themselves and act accordingly. They would support Aerie and help facilitate any needed action.

  After all, he had put Henry on duty, he had called up Rhodey to be on attack watch, and, for no other reason than unavoidable self-compulsion, he’d alerted Reverend Thorne and his brother, Don, to inform the Ecclesia. He had included limited details to them, to prevent any possible information leaks; overall, he was still reluctant to directly ask for divine intercession, but he still wanted them to know what was going on.

  He barely heard Aerie greet her mother as he tightened his grip on her hand, allowing himself a long moment to memorize the feel of her palm against his, her fingers twined between his own.

  It was only when Tyler clapped him on the shoulder and nudged him that he forced himself to let her go.

  “I’ll see you soon,” he promised. “I’ll be in contact shortly. Keep your comm with you at all times.”

  “Roger that, Captain,” she said, giving him a small giggle.

  Then he reached over and cradled her face between his hands, resting them on the silkiness of her hair and the softness of her cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered, gently pressing his forehead against hers.

  She closed her eyes against the tender embrace. Before he pulled away, she reached up and pressed her lips into his. “I love you too,” she replied, her voice breathless.

  Exton released her and slowly backed away. He felt a robotic quality in his legs as he walked up the ramp to the shuttle’s cockpit; each step was only a little easier than the one before, as he slowly stepped out of the light of his life and into the darkness of the world before him.

  But, I’m not going out to join it, he reminded himself. I’m going out to face it, head on, and find out the truth. Whatever it may be.

  He waved at Aerie as he started up the engines, and then he turned away from her. He didn’t want to watch as she headed out of the hangar.

  “I can take care of the flying,” Tyler offered.

  “No thanks,” Exton said. “It’ll give me something to focus on besides Aerie.” Before Tyler could tease him, he asked, “Is everyone here?”

  “Jared just stepped in,” Tyler said. “Give us a couple of moments to settle in.”

  “We don’t have much time to play around.”

  Merra laughed. “Don’t worry. I think we can make time for safety. Patty is already working on scouting out some pilots for us down in Petra. She said Aerie’s friend Brock is happy to join us.”

  “I hope you can avoid telling Aerie,” Exton said. “She’s already worried enough for you.”

  Merra blinked in surprise. “Well, that’s sweet,” she murmured, before focusing her attention on strapping herself into her seat.

  As Exton gave the reports to the crew and they headed out into space, another rush of protectiveness came flooding out of his heart. The earth had seen happy days before the war, Exton thought, and he would do his best to bring those days back.

  But first, that meant dealing with other things.

  QUIET STILLNESS SEEMED to permeate through the landscape of Petra’s community as Exton sailed through the nearby skies. It was early in the morning for them, but, just as it was with the Perdition, there were always some people running around. The rest of the area seemed dark with sleepiness; the outlines of the mountains and hills, and even the Memory Tree, seemed to blur into the night with an unspeakable sigh.

  Once he landed the shuttle, Exton wasted no time in seeing Merra off as she headed to meet with his aunt and reminding Jared of the rules when it came to working with the other pilots and their fighters.

  His only deviation from his plan was to go and see Emery along with Tyler. And since family was family, he didn’t mind postponing his search through the URS military system for her.

  “Do you want a moment to see her alone first?” Exton asked as he walked with Tyler.

  Tyler laughed. “You might need to wait longer than a moment if you let me,” he joked. “I haven’t seen her since your wedding.”

  “It’s only been a little over two weeks.”

  “You’re already despondent after leaving Aerie on the Perdition,” Tyler replied. “I’m looking forward to seeing how you last for two weeks.”

&nbs
p; “It might not take that long,” Exton told him. He held up the file Tyler had handed him earlier. “This is all I have to check, and then I can go back.”

  “If you say so,” Tyler said. “But I’m more than willing to bet you’ll stay here for longer than that.”

  “Why?”

  “You don’t like St. Cloud, and you feel like you have to practically babysit Merra.”

  “How did you know I’m here to check on her?” Exton said with a frown.

  “I can just tell sometimes. I’ve known you for a long time, even before we committed treason against the URS.” Tyler grinned. “Besides, you were looking like you were ready to just strangle her while we were on the shuttle here.”

  “She seems too eager to engage in warfare.”

  “She is. I think she’s bored, partly.”

  “And the other part?”

  “Ugh. The other part is understandable if disconcerting,” Tyler admitted. “I think she likes watching the URS scramble around. After all those years she had to play along with them, living up to their imposed rules and how she left everything behind so she could keep her family alive, I can’t exactly blame her for enjoying their increasing desperation.”

  “Even if it’s at the expense of others’ lives?”

  “She’d probably argue they weren’t living that great of lives anyway.” Tyler shook his head sadly. “Tough situation.”

  Exton only nodded, but he was pretty sure Tyler missed it as Emery came around the corner.

  Exton caught the split-second look of surprise on her face before it transformed into joy. “You’re here!” Emery cheered. She raced up beside them, throwing her arms around Tyler. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  “I can tell,” Exton remarked with a wry smile.

  His younger sister gave him a teasing smirk as she looked over Tyler’s shoulder at him. “You’ll get your hug in a moment.”

  “I’ll pass,” Exton said. “Or maybe I’ll defer the pleasure to Tyler.”