by Avery Wilde
I trailed behind Jacob and looked through the crowd. I was excited to see Cara there. Lucia was next to her in the stands, too, with her little girl, Nora, on Cara’s lap. After our dinner the other night, I had thought of nothing but her, feeling more like I knew her on another level after her spill about her son. She was a strong woman, but it seemed like she’d held this in for far too long and needed someone to help support her. And I couldn’t help but want to be that crutch for her, help her get through it. She gave me a little wave and I sighed. If anyone had asked me a mere couple of weeks ago if I was contemplating monogamy, I would’ve told them they were crazy, and for them to go back to their home planet. And yet when I looked at her, with Nora in her arms, I found myself longing for that life.
The only problem was my past. And while I felt like I could trust her, I couldn’t tell her my secret. It wasn’t safe. The less people who knew, the better for everyone involved. Still, there was hope. She hadn’t pulled back when I leaned in for a kiss after our meal and maybe we could slowly build upon what we had started.
The horn blew and I jogged over to the rest of the team, a grin on my face. It was game time and I couldn’t wait.
An hour later I eyed the batter, trying to remember what his weakness was. I needed to concentrate. I was sweating from head to toe, my arm hurting from the repetitive motion of the pitches that I wasn’t entirely used to after all these years. Still, I felt jacked up, even if it was only a charity match.
We were in the last inning, with two on base and two out. I was two up on this guy, had him swinging at my decoy fastball. He didn’t know what was gonna hit him. Grinding my teeth, I gave the catcher a nod, understanding the call he was giving me… but ignored it anyway. This wasn’t the time to play it safe. Taking the ball, I adjusted my knuckles and started on my stance, looking back at the runner at second base before letting the ball fly. It sailed through the air then zipped low at the last second and I waited with bated breath to see if the bat was going to connect. When there was no satisfying crack, I realized I had struck him out. Our team had won the game.
The crowd erupted as the rest of the team ran toward the mound, lifting me high in the air. I felt fucking fantastic, it was a charity match, but it was an awesome feeling to have. With a laugh, I got them to lower me to the ground, finding myself wrapped up in a hug by the star player himself.
“Damn, man, I knew you could play ball, but I didn’t know you were an awesome pitcher,” Jacob said as he released me. “Why the hell aren’t you playing professionally?”
I shrugged, wishing I could tell him the real reason. “Guess it didn’t work out.”
“Well I’m glad you were on our team today,” he said, clapping me on the back. “Party at my place in an hour? You have to come.”
“Sure,” I grinned, feeling like I was on top of the world. He clapped me on the back once more and then walked off, the media crews trying to catch up with him. I watched for a moment, knowing that it could have been me giving the interviews, receiving the accolades instead of just showing off at a charity event. No one was going to remember me after today. There would be no endorsements, no more games to get ready for. I would go back to destroying concrete and leave baseball behind once more. I hated the thought.
“Marcus? Mark Harris?”
Without thinking, I turned around to find a man standing behind me, a grin on his face as he held out his hand. “It is you, isn’t it? I thought you had dropped off the face of the earth,” he said.
“Nah, you have the wrong guy,” I muttered, tugging on the brim of my cap to hide my eyes.
He shook his head, stepping closer. “Oh no, you can’t fool me. I would know that curveball anywhere; one of a kind. Don’t you remember me? I scouted your last game. You were awesome, destined for the pros and then suddenly we couldn’t find a single trace of you. What happened? Why did you quit baseball?”
I sighed inwardly, the feeling of being unable to get out of this situation started to boil inside of my chest. I couldn’t be identified. I wasn’t that person anymore, no matter how much I wanted to be. “Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not that guy.”
“What guy?”
I turned to see Cara standing not far from me, her head cocked to the side. How long had she been standing there listening in to the conversation?
But damn she took my breath away. Even in casual attire she was stunning, her T-shirt for the charity event tightly stretched across her great rack. Her long legs were encased in a pair of jean shorts and I wanted nothing more than to strip them off of her and drive into her again and again. Our evening had been cut way too short the other night and I still felt the need to have her, to claim her once and for all.
“Hi, I’m Dan,” the former scout said, a grin on his lips as he shook her hand. “I was just getting reacquainted with my friend, Marcus, here.”
“Oh really? Marcus is it?” she asked, a gleam in her eye as she looked at me. “How do you know him?”
“Cara, no. We’ve got to go,” I interrupted, grabbing Cara’s hand and attempted to steer her away from the guy. If I let them talk, he was going to reveal all of my secrets and I couldn’t allow that to happen.
“Wait,” Dan said as I forced Cara to walk away. “You didn’t tell me where you’ve been. I could still get you a deal, I swear it. You haven’t lost your touch.”
“What deal, Marcus?” she asked, her tone ice-cold. The questions were starting to grate on my nerves. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to think I could just step back into a part of my old world without being recognized like this.
“Hey, Luke, over here!”
I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was steered away from Cara and toward the rest of the team, momentarily confused as a multitude of flashes went off in my face. Oh shit. Pictures.
“Our star player!” Jacob said excitedly as he clapped my shoulder with his hand pinning me in place, a wide smile on his face. “We couldn’t have done it without you. A couple more pictures for the magazines?”
“Yeah, whatever,” I swallowed, resigned to the fact that the shit had hit the fan and there was nothing I was going to be able to do about it. The photographers got their pictures and then moved on. Where the hell were those photos going to be published? Some small, obscure publication I could only hope.
“Come on,” he was saying. “Grab Cara and let’s party!” I watched him walk away and tried to shake off the cold feeling of dread that had come over me. I hoped that all of this wouldn’t put me in a bigger hot mess that I was already in, but hell, trouble loved to find me. And I had a sinking feeling it was only going to get worse.
18
Cara
I watched Luke as he was surrounded by his teammates and then a small crowd of reporters. He did not look like he wanted to be there at all. After the photos he wandered off to the side, deep in thought. Maybe he was trying to figure out how he was going to explain why that guy insisted that he knew him. I usually didn’t like to eavesdrop, but I hadn’t had much of a choice. Between the guy trying to insist he knew Luke and Luke trying to backpedal, it seemed too good to be true. I thought I was about to find out whatever Luke was hiding, but somehow he had escaped it once again and now my curiosity was about to boil over. Who was this guy? Luke or Mark… or Marcus.
I turned to go find Lucia—I left Luke to his musing for a moment—but froze in place when I saw a mop of scruffy brown hair. James wasn’t far from me, his eyes searching the crowd. I still hadn’t recuperated from our first awkward meeting. But it was like someone up above (or down below) wasn’t done torturing me just yet.
Was he looking for Luke or for me? No, wait, he couldn’t possibly know that I was here.
He was so cute in his ball cap that was marked with his Little League team’s logo, looking like any other happy kid who was hanging around, but this one was mine. He was my kid.
An arm slipped around my waist and I nearly yelped out, spinning around to face my gr
oper. “Whoa,” Luke said with a grin, pulling me close to him. “I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction.”
“You scared the crap out of me, you shit” I accused, swallowing my fear. “So now that you’ve had your fifteen minutes of fame are you going to tell me who that guy was?”
His grin faded. “That’s not important.”
“He acted like he knew you,” I pressed on, seeing the indecision in his eyes. I’d promised to give him time, but I still felt the need to know before I could make my final judgment on whether Luke was the good guy he was trying so hard to put across.
“He just had me confused with someone else,” he said darkly, his expression telling me that he didn’t want to talk about it.
“You’re full of shit… I can tell when you’re lying you know.”
“Miss Young?”
That little voice ripped open my heart and I turned around, putting a smile on my face so the tears wouldn’t fall.
“James. Hi.” Don’t blow it again, Cara. But I had no idea what to say to him, it wasn’t like there was a manual for this sort of thing.
“Um I guess I should call you mom?” he said, his shoe kicking at the dirt. I squatted down to his level.
“You can call me whatever you want, James. Maybe we should start with Cara first?”
He looked up and I felt like I was staring into the eyes of my past. He was going to be a heartbreaker when he grew up, there was no doubt about that. I wanted to pull him close, ruffle his hair and tell him how sorry I was for everything.
“James? James!”
He looked away and I stood up as a couple came rushing up to his side, the relief on the woman’s face palpable as she realized he was okay. They were a handsome couple, the man tall with a wide, friendly smile and the woman the perfect image of a mom. She was tall, willowy with long hair pulled back into a neat ponytail. And even her khaki shorts and polo shirt screamed suburban mom, but her face was still plagued with worry for her child. My child.
“I’m right here, mom,” James said with a small smile.
“Whatever are you doing?” she said, reaching him and touching his shoulder, her eyes sliding over to mine. “Why did you walk away? We thought we’d lost you.”
“I saw my mom, I mean my other mom, Miss Young,” he stated, giving me a sidelong glance.
I forced a smile as the urge to flee became ever present. If I thought meeting James for the first had been a disaster, then I was sorely mistaken… this had the potential to be much worse. Luke’s hand landed on my lower back for support.
“Hi, I’m—”
Her eyes widened and cut me off. “James, what are you talking about?”
“I saw the papers mom,” he said, biting his lower lip. “In dad’s study. I know I’m adopted.”
Her hand flew to her mouth and I realized that my son had pulled one over on his parents. They didn’t tell him… he’d found out all on his own.
“Oh no,” she said, her eyes darting around as they filled with tears.
Her husband wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his eyes narrowed to slits as he stared at me. “Why did you approach my son? Did you set this up?”
I winced at his hard voice. They were angry. “I didn’t. I swear it. He sent me a letter, I thought you knew.”
“James!” his mom stated, clearly uncomfortable and surprised that he would do something like that. “You should have told me you found those papers. We could have talked about it.”
“I can read, mom,” he said, rolling his eyes. At that moment, he sounded like me and I couldn’t help but feel a little proud. He wasn’t fazed in the slightest. “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I did. I had a right to know.”
She bit her lip then and I saw the indecision on her face. She was well on the brink of losing her cool. At least she wasn’t going to yell at the kid. Instead she took his hand, claiming him, and gave me a look that clearly told me to go to hell. “Don’t contact him. Don’t talk to him. He’s not yours. He’s ours.”
I felt the words slice me deeply as she forced James to walk away, as if she’d slapped me. My whole stomach rolled with pure dread that I’d never see him again.
“Hey, come on, there’s no need for that,” Luke interrupted, stepping forward.
“Mom, stop!” James cried as she held his hand tightly as they disappeared into the crowd. I stood helpless, stunned into silence.
Luke turned toward me, concern on his face. “That was totally uncalled for. She didn’t have to be so hostile.”
I swallowed hard and shook my head. “She was protecting him. I would’ve done the same thing.”
His eyes widened. “You’re agreeing with her? I thought you would be… I dunno.”
I narrowed my gaze. “I would be what?”
He had the grace to look embarrassed. “I don’t know Cara, upset. Sad. All of the above.”
I placed my hands on my hips. While I was a taken aback by the mom’s abrupt behavior, I could relate. I really would have been the same way. It showed me that she was definitely right for my James. The problem was her response had just fuelled my reason to get to know the kid even more. “Of course I’m upset, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand where she’s coming from. I’ll be okay, I swear.”
He looked at me for a long moment. “Are you sure? You don’t look okay.”
“Just drop it, Luke will you?”
He held up his hands and nodded, then grabbed my hand. “All right then. Let’s head to the party.”
The party was held at Jacob and Lucia’s waterfront mansion. Okay, maybe not mansion, but it was a damn nice home and I knew that both of them were extremely proud of it. I pulled up behind Luke’s truck on the street, checking my makeup in the review mirror before climbing out.
Cars lined the street and the circular drive as I waited for Luke to climb out, tapping my foot nervously. While I told Luke I wasn’t upset about my encounter with James and his parents, inside I was dying a little. I couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t told his parents he was attempting to make contact with me. Was it because they wouldn’t allow him to reach out to me? They obviously hadn’t told him that he was adopted. Did they think I was some stupid teen who had slipped up or some drugged-out person who couldn’t handle my own shit? Well obviously I wasn’t either. I had made a conscious decision to give him a better life, the decision I thought had been right at the time.
Luke finally made his way over to me. He was dressed in a pair of well-fitted jeans and a dark-blue dress shirt. For a small moment I was grateful to have him in my life. Regardless of whatever he was keeping from me. It was good to share all this stuff I was going through with another person. If it hadn’t been for him and his persistence, I probably would have gone absolutely insane the last few days. His arrival into my life had to have been fate.
“Hey,” he said, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure you’re up to this? We can go somewhere else.”
I saw genuine concern on his face and felt my heart constrict. He looked as if he truly cared. “Um no, I’m fine, really. You deserve this after your win.”
“Okay,” he said, reaching for my hand. I allowed him to take it, wrapping my fingers around his tightly and reveling in his warmth. It was nice to have someone by my side, someone who wanted to be with me. It had been so long since that had happened.
Together we walked up to the house. The sounds of laughter and music were floating throughout the house and I led Luke to the back, where I was sure everything was set up. Jacob had a kick-ass backyard, the Intracoastal Waterway a perfect backdrop. His pool was occupied by some of the players and their significant others, while Jacob manned the massive outdoor grill, practically a fully functioning kitchen.
I spied Lucia standing near a fan, her cheeks flushed by the heat. I led Luke over to her, feeling the breeze cool my skin. “Cooling off?”
“Oh my god, this heat is a killer,” she stated, looking over at Luke who seemed to be taki
ng it all in. “Hey, Luke, welcome to our home. It’s not normally this crazy.”
“It’s very nice,” he said, giving her a grin. “Did you pick it out?”
I shared a secret smile with my bestie, knowing that this house played a major part in how she and Jacob had hooked up. “One could say that,” she laughed, pulling her hair on top of her head and securing it into a high ponytail. “Relax, enjoy yourselves. There are beers and drinks near the kitchen area and gobs of food over there as well. I don’t know why Jacob felt like he had to grill as well.”
“A man thing,” Luke answered with a laugh. “I’ll go see if he needs any help.”
He squeezed my hand before letting go.
“He was really good today,” Lucia said, her eyes following mine. “Like pro good. He was all Jacob could talk about on the way home.”
“Yeah,” I said with a sigh, turning back to Lucia. “Chalk it up as another mystery I can’t solve.”
“Well it will keep the relationship interesting,” Lucia replied with a grin. I rolled my eyes and wished that I could at least understand the man. Once I’d gotten past the whole arrogant persona thing he had going on when I first met him, he actually was turning out to be the real deal. Except now there was his whole other secret-agent persona where he wouldn’t tell me a thing about his past or why he’d had a different name in high school. Would there ever be a time that he wasn’t like that? I wasn’t sure.
“Our boys do get along pretty well,” Lucia continued, nodding toward the grill. Luke and Jacob shared a laugh. Luke looked more at ease than I had seen him lately. I had come to think of him as my man and how or when that started, I had no idea. But I couldn’t deny the thought that I wanted him to be mine, and that I wanted more of him.
“They do, don’t they?” I replied absently, wishing that I could forget that he was a complete mystery.
Luke, feeling my gaze, turned my way. Even at this distance he could make my heart flutter.
I longed to feel him under my fingers. We had chemistry and maybe it would do me some good to overlook his unwillingness to share everything about his life for just a chance to be wanted in bed again. I needed something in my life to work out right now… and the thought of us together in bed, I couldn’t imagine anything wrong with that at all.
