by J. R. Grant
Since receiving treatment, I can sleep better at night, I want to be around my friends again, and I’ve finally been able to get back to work. Parker was over the moon when I walked through the office doors. The man was lost without his Princess. God, I love that guy.
Ryder and Lauren have spent more time with me in the past six months than they have since the first day I met them. I had always been so used to just being around the guys who I had hung out with and now that I have a girlfriend beside me, it’s nice. We may have been close since high school but we were nowhere as close as we are now. Now I actually have someone say they can relate, especially when you’re talking about men and sex.
Cruz, he’s such a goofball! If you would have asked me about Ryder and Cruz getting back together in this lifetime, I would have said no. Nonetheless, now I’m happy to see they’ve finally patched things up.
They say you find out who your friends are when you need them the most. Well, it’s the truth. I surely did. Sure, I had grown up around Parker all of my life, and I knew for certain he would never leave me, especially not after the way this whole nightmare affected him as well. But after his heart was broken from what Kade and Jules had done, I was so afraid I would lose my best friend out of anger, it scared the shit out of me. Parker has saved my life in more ways than one, God knows I would be lost without him.
As far as the rest of the crew, the only ones who have stood by my side besides Parker were Cruz and Ryder. Everyone else left me and followed Kade and Jules. It shouldn’t surprise me, especially with Kade’s family and Owen, but it still hurts. I hate not having them all in our lives.
Apparently, Jules and Lucas are now living in my old house. It’s scary how fast Kade moved her right in there with their son and hasn’t even bothered calling on his other two kids in the past eleven months. So be it. It’s his loss. My boys will want for nothing. They have two uncles, an aunt, and two crazy, wonderful grandparents who worship the ground they walk on.
Leaving Kade no longer hurts. I know now, without a shadow of a doubt, I am going to survive. I just have to keep pushing and never look back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lani
Why do doctor’s offices have the ugliest furniture imaginable? I mean seriously, this bright orange couch with pea green curtains and sky blue walls is about as hideous as can be. And don’t get me started on the mismatching bookshelves and picture frames. Maybe I am a little OCD about matching furniture and such, but this is just ridiculous.
“Good morning, Mrs. Foster,” Dr. Meyers greets me at the door and reaches her hand out toward me.
“Good morning, Dr. Meyers. Please, call me Lani,” I reply and shake her hand before making my way into her room. I don’t know why the woman insists on calling me Mrs. Foster at every appointment. She knows damn well if it weren’t for my boys, I would have changed my name by now.
With only a few more sessions left to go in my treatment plan at Ocean City Mental Health, Dr. Torre, who is Dr. Meyers’ supervisor, will be brought in to check on my progress today. It’s something they do with the new interns in the practice, such as Dr. Meyers. She began her internship a month before I started my treatment plan and to me, she has done a great job. It may have taken me twenty-two weeks so far to finally start seeing the light, but that was all on me, not the doctor. I had a ton of work to do within myself.
“As you know, Dr. Torre will be meeting with you in a couple of moments. Before he comes in, I wanted to see if you have any questions for me today? Anything new happen over the last week that you want to talk about?”
I shake my head. “No. Just the same ol’, same ol’. I think I’m good for once.”
“Very well. If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I will go ahead and allow Dr. Torre to go ahead and meet with you now if you’re ready,” she says and grabs her folder and purse, exiting the room.
After a few minutes of waiting, a tall, muscular man with striking green eyes opens the door and walks over to where I am seated. Reaching his hand out, the man smiles and introduces himself.
“Good morning, Mrs. Foster, I’m Dr. Torre, Dr. Meyers’ supervisor. I’ll be meeting with you today.”
My God he is hot! Trying not to stutter, I smile and reply, “Good morning. It’s nice to finally meet you. Please, call me Lani. ”
“Very well,” he says as he turns to take a seat behind the desk. Opening up his portfolio, he pulls a pen from the pocket of his jacket and a tablet out of his briefcase. Smiling, he looks up at me and starts to speak again.
“Dr. Meyers has spoken very highly about you and your progress with her in the last couple of months. So, I would just like to get a feel with how you’re managing your depression and anxiety today.”
“I have good days, and I still have some bad days as well, but overall, I’m finally managing I think.”
“And your panic attacks, how are they recently with your current treatment?”
“I have them; they’re not as bad as before. But I think that’s because I know how to cope with them better now. It’s something I had never learned to live with until recently. Dr. Meyers has helped a lot.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear things are starting to look up for you.” He smiles and makes a note in my chart. “So, tell me about yourself. I know you’re separated from your husband, and if I recall, Dr. Meyers said you haven’t seen or spoken to him in eleven months or so? Is that correct?”
“Yes. The day I took my boys and left the house was the last day I had seen or heard from Kade until this past week.” I laugh and shake my head. “I never thought the day would come, but it did, and I definitely wasn’t prepared for it.”
Raising his eyebrow, he looks up at me and says, “What happened that you weren’t prepared for?”
“Well…” Shifting in my chair, my body cringes at the thought of seeing Kade, and I begin to relive what happed the other day.
“The day my son Justin was born, Kade left and had an affair with Jules, our best friend Parker’s, wife. That was ten years ago now, but I just found out at the beginning of this year. Almost nine months after our son was born, Kade and Jules had their son, Lucas. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it. When it sank in, I was livid. Just looking at the pictures of my husband with this other woman and their child nearly killed me. On top of it all, Kade physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me, I believe, due to his guilt. After that, I went into a very dark place in my life, not wanting to be around anyone or even talk to my own family. That’s how Dr. Meyers became involved in my situation. Three of my closest friends and my parents were concerned for my well-being. After a little over a month and a half of living in the bedroom, unable to function, they did an intervention, demanding I get some help.”
“Wow, you have been through some really tough issues, haven’t you?” Dr. Torre asks in shock. Hell, if I was an outsider looking in, I wouldn’t want to believe something so dirty, so crummy, could happen to a happily married couple. It’s like watching an episode of Jerry Springer. What Kade and Jules did was downright sick.
“Unfortunately.”
“Can you tell me what happened last week when you saw Kade?”
“I had just dropped the boys off at school and needed to run into Walmart for a few items for the office. Kade, Jules, and their son Lucas were there shopping when I saw them.”
“And did he say anything? Or did Jules?”
“No. Kade’s mouth dropped open when he saw me come out of the office supplies aisle. Jules just rolled her eyes and grabbed a hold of Kade’s arm. I guess she was scared I was going to hurt her or something. Maybe ten or eleven months ago, I probably would have knocked her on her ass. But I’m over it. The hurt is still there, of course, but other than that, I want nothing to do with the sick bastard, and I sure as shit don’t feel anything toward him other than hatred. I let him go in order to survive. Leaving was the best option for us all.”
Dr. Torre continues writing down whatever I
’m saying on his tablet. Trying not to fidget too much, I cross my legs and looked down at my shaking hands until he’s done.
“So that was it? No words were said? That’s kind of hard to believe. You, apparently, still seem very distressed by all of this.”
What the hell? Is this guy serious? Hell, yeah I’m angry. Who wouldn’t be? It’s not every day you catch your husband sleeping with your best friend’s wife and conceiving a child together the day your own son was born. Come on….give me a break.
“Of course I’m angry, Dr. Torre. I’m furious. That man and his twat girlfriend destroyed me. They destroyed my children and my best friend. Here Parker and I thought we were happily in love with our spouses and the two of them carried that big of a secret for years without telling us. And when the going got tough at home, because of his anger, Kade mentally and physically abused me. He couldn’t stand his own lies, living in guilt, so he beat the shit out of me and called me every name imaginable. And my best friend? Parker’s ruined. The poor guy has been a lost soul ever since Jules did this to him. To make matters worse, my boys haven’t seen or spoken to their father since the night we left. Kade dropped them the day I walked away for his ‘other son’. How unfair is that. So, am I angry? You bet your ass I am. You can hurt me all you want, I’ll get over it. But if you hurt my kids, it’s game on.”
My boys don’t deserve the silent treatment from Kade because he’s in the wrong. Man up, own your mistakes, and apologize. It’s not something they’ll get over right away, but they’re kids for God’s sake. They miss their daddy.
“I understand. I don’t have children of my own, but I can see why you are very defensive.” He smiles and sets his tablet down. Looking up at me, Dr. Torre crosses his arms over his chest.
“So, what’s next? I mean, where are you going from this day forward? It sounds like you’ve got a great head on your shoulders now, albeit it’s taking time, however by the sound of things, you’re doing great.”
I needed to move forward and start over. I’m not getting any younger. I’m just glad it’s all almost over with, so I can finally start living again for once in what feels like forever.
“I met with an attorney yesterday who Dr. Meyers recommended, and the hearing for my divorce is in two weeks.”
“Wow,” he says, “Time really has flown by for you. How do you feel about being divorced? Relieved? Worried?”
“Stressed. I don’t want Kade to fight me on anything. So far, he has signed the divorce decree and hasn’t made any conjunctions to my requests. At first, he gave the sheriff the run around so he couldn’t be served. But once they found him, I felt a little better,” I reply. “I just want Kade to let me go, let us go. He shouldn’t be allowed to walk out of the boys’ life and come back in and get them whenever he damn well pleases. To me, that’s not right. Although I would never take the boys away from him, I want Kade to agree that if he wants to see Justin and Zakrie, it has to be on their terms, not his, and he can’t not show up. When he says he’s coming, he needs to be there and not cancel on them. They don’t deserve this kind of backlash. Neither one of them did anything to their father for him to treat them this way.”
“Sounds like you have had your hands full, Lani. I wish you nothing but the best. I’ll pray the Lord gives you an understanding judge to be put on your case. God is bigger than any court system. Remember that,” Dr. Torre says. “It’s very unfortunate that you’ve had to go through all of this at such a young age with two small children.” He shakes his head in disbelief.
Trust me, doctor, I can’t believe it either.
“Okay, I’m going to call Dr. Meyers back in here for the remainder of your session. It was great meeting you. Keep up that positive attitude. You’ve come an incredibly long way and as Dr. Meyers’ colleague, I am proud of you and your accomplishments so far.”
Standing up, I shake his hand. “Thank you, Dr. Torre. That truly means a lot. It was nice finally meeting you. Take care.”
He exits the office and Dr. Meyers joins me to finish my session for the day. One more session after the divorce hearing, and I’ll be done with my treatment plan.
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It’s nearly a hundred degrees outside when I leave my counseling session. I adore the beach weather but loathe the humidity. Other than Christmas, summer is my favorite time of year. There’s nothing like soaking up the heated sun on the beach while reading a good book. If I didn’t have to work Monday through Friday, I would be by the water every single day. But this humidity is terrible. It’s so thick, it makes it hard to breathe, especially when there’s no breeze pushing it around.
On my way home, I pick the boys up from my parents’ house. We discuss the plan for my upcoming court date, and Dad is getting antsy. He wants to go with me so he can confront Kade. I understand his reasoning, I am his baby girl. But the least amount of stress I carry in that courthouse, the better off I’ll be. Dad can confront Kade anytime on the street. He deserves whatever he gets.
“Are you ready to finally be divorced? I still can’t believe it’s been a year already,” Mom says as she walks into the kitchen.
“I’ve been ready, Mom. The faster I have him out of my life, the better. I just want it all to be done and over with. My only concern is the boys. Once we come to an agreement and the judge sets the schedule, I’ll feel so much better. Justin and Zakrie have suffered enough.”
“Yes they have, Lani.” Walking up beside me, she places her hands on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. “You’ve come a long way. We’re very proud of you. But do not let that sorry son of a bitch get the best of you on your day. Tuesday of next week is your time. Your time to shine, and your time to be proud. You walk in there with your head held high and your shoulders pushed back. Put a smile on this beautiful face of yours and let him eat your dust. This is his loss, sweetheart. Kade made his bed, now let him lay in it. Besides, you’ve done so well. Your father and I couldn’t be more proud of you and how far you’ve come.” Wrapping her arms around me, Mom gives me a hug and then kisses my cheek.
“I love you, Mom! Thank you for always being here for me. I don’t know what I would have done without yours and Dad’s support.”
“Oh sweetie, you never have to worry about that. Ever. We love you to pieces. We’ll always be here for you and those boys. You three are our lives.”
Gathering their belongings, the boys and I say goodbye to my parents and head home. All this talk about Tuesday is starting to make me shaky. I need a drink.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Parker
If you would have asked me fifteen years ago where I would be in life, I would have never stated my current reality. I thought I would have been happily married to the love of my life and together, we would have had started a family. Instead, I’m left pondering where in the hell I went wrong.
Marrying Jules and trusting her to be my wife was by far the biggest and worst mistake of my life. And loving Lani has caused me to miss out on a lot of time I can’t bring back. Two bad choices landed me here today. Yeah, I probably should have been man enough and told Lani how I felt all those years ago, but I didn’t. I let someone who I thought was my boy, my best friend, whisk the girl of my dreams away and destroy her. I’ve watched her happy, and I’ve watched her sad, but not once did I ever leave her side. I couldn’t. I refuse. The girl is my life. Lani Renee’ means everything to me.
Ever since Lani and the boys moved out of Kade’s house, I’ve had a lot of time to think. Especially when she refused to talk to anyone for over a month. I was hurt, no doubt, but at the end of the day, giving her space gave me enough time to get my shit together and decide what I needed to do. I did a lot of soul searching; it was time I desperately needed. Now, I am more than ready to fight for what’s mine.
Lani may have been blind to my feelings all these years, but I know deep down in my gut, she has to feel something for me. She can’t be oblivious to it all, especially not with the way we have both depended on e
ach other lately.
The two of us spend almost every day by each other’s sides; at work, at home, and when we go out with our friends. We are inseparable just like before, except now, I am even more eager to be around her.
Over the summer, I have taken Justin, Zakrie, and Lauren to the beach to teach them how to surf. I’ve taught Justin and Zakrie a couple of times before, but nothing too extravagant. It’s amazing to watch them grow and learn. They both pick up pretty much any sport quick.
Surfing was something Cruz and I have done together for a long time. When we were kids, our parents would let us come across the street, as long as we swam by the lifeguard stand, and surf for hours. Cruz is the biggest fish I’ve ever known. I can always count on him to be up for some water time.
With Kade being a dick and not having anything to do with Justin and Zakrie this past year, I’ve taken the both of them on as my responsibility. I would never try and replace their father, however helping Lani and loving her kids is all I’ve ever wanted to do. Besides, this gives me an excuse to be in the ocean more when I bring them with me.
Lauren is eight, so trying to get her not be afraid of the seaweed, fish, and crabs in the water is hilarious. She reminds me a lot of Lani when she was that age. A girly girl and a tomboy mixed together. On one hand, Lauren loves to get downright dirty and roll around in the mud. But on another, she dolls up herself and her Barbie’s, going full force with the makeup and heels. Cruz is going to have to keep that gun of his handy in a couple of years. I can see Ryder Jr. now. Man, he’s in for a rude awakening.
<> * <>
The court hearing for Lani and Kade’s divorce is next week. Once everything with Kade is done and settled, and Lani is free, I plan on telling her how I feel. This will be a make it or break it kind of deal. I’m still a little iffy on how to go about it. The last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship. But I can’t wait any longer. The truth needs to be told. I need my girl.
