Shattered Promises

by J. R. Grant

  The elevator dings, and I step into the hallway. Searching the area, I spot the exit sign and walk in that direction.

  “Lani.” Someone calls my name. I stop in my tracks. It’s Kade…

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Slowly turning around, I do my best and smile. God, he looks pitiful.

  “Sure. I guess. Let’s step outside.”

  Nodding his head, Kade and I walk out to the front of the courthouse. I pull my sunglasses out of my purse and put them on just in case. I’ve come this far, I can’t let him see he affects me. Once we reach the tip of the parking lot, Kade turns around and looks at me.

  “I won’t keep you. I just have a couple things I would like to say.”

  Ushering him to continue, he crosses his arms over his chest and begins. “I know my words don’t mean shit anymore. And I know what I have put you and the boys through is unforgivable. Trust me, I get it. I’ve had to live with that regret for a while now. I wrote everything in the letter I handed you earlier, but I couldn’t leave without saying a few things first.” Taking a deep breath, Kade looks out on to the high way and continues. “I sure as hell don’t blame the three of you for any anger or hatred you hold toward me. But I never got the chance to apologize for what I have done.” He uncrosses his arms and puts his hand on top of his head, running his fingers through his hair.

  “I never meant any of this to happen. It was a stupid mistake while I was drunk, a mistake that cost me my entire life, and I’m sorry. I will get the counseling and go to anger management classes before I visit with the boys. But I-”

  I stop him right there and ask, “Why have you not checked on them, Kade? I get why you didn’t talk to me. It was probably a good thing that you kept your distance. I needed the time to heal, to get where I am right now. But still, not once did you ever ask about Justin or Zakrie. Not once did you see if they were okay or needed anything. You just let them go like they were nothing. Don’t you think they have hurt too? Because they have. The both of them have been just as affected, if not more, with everything that went on.”

  Pacing beside me, tears fall down Kade’s cheeks; his sunglasses can’t hide the wetness on his face.

  “I fucked up, Lani. When you left, I lost everything. You were my life. It might sound dumb to you and everyone else, but when I lost you, I felt like I lost the boys too. Don’t you think it’s been hard on me knowing I hurt my own children? It has. It’s nearly killed me, damn it. Look at me. I have not been doing well. I don’t sleep, because when I do, all I see is our happy family together. I’ve gotten myself into more trouble this past year than I have my entire life.”

  “But they’re your children, Kade. You were their hero. They love you. You just can’t walk away from them because you and I are through.”

  Great, unwanted tears gush from my eyes. I can’t stop them now. This conversation needed to happen a long time ago, so I let them fall freely.

  “Fuck…I know that, Lani. I do. I just need time, okay? I have a little boy at home who needs me as well, and I haven’t been there much for him either. I’ll get the help, don’t worry. When I’m done, I’ll give you a call. Just tell the boys I love them and haven’t forgotten about them.”

  “Of course I’ll tell them, Kade. They love you too. But do yourself a favor, stop lying to everyone around you. Start being truthful. It’s better to live with the truth than to live a life full of lies like you have been. I mean, look where it’s gotten you. I’ve never seen you this bad in all my life.”

  He shakes his head and turns back to face me. “Take care, Lani. You deserve nothing but the best.”

  Please God, make him stop. I can’t handle anymore. It’s too much.

  “Goodbye, Kade.” I need out of here and as far away from him as possible.

  I shock myself when I reach out and hug my ex-husband before turning around and walking away. As fast as I can, I put one foot in front of the other and hurry to my car. By the time I open the door, I plop down on the passenger seat, place my elbows on my knees, and cover my face with my hands. And I lose it. Completely lose it.

  Small arms grab a hold of me, but I don’t look up. I can’t.

  “Shhhh…” Ryder whispers in my ear. “You did it, honey. You’re finally free from the life of lies and hurt. I’m so proud of you, sweetlips.”

  The sobs become louder by the second as I give myself permission to let it all out. Today, I deserve to be free. Everything may still hurt, but it’s getting better. I fell out of love with my husband years ago, but that doesn’t mean I can’t cry it out and finally let go. If I learned anything at all through all of this, I now know for certain I can overcome just about any obstacle in life as long as I have my family and friends by my side.

  “I’m free…” I laugh between cries.

  Rubbing my back, my best friend agrees and laughs. “Hallelujah! It’s about time”

  <> * <>

  Ryder and I run into my house to get changed so we can meet Parker for lunch. I just want to be comfortable. After I’m dressed in my yoga pants and t-shirt, I lift my purse onto my bed and take a seat.

  For certain, I don’t want to read this letter, but I know I’ll drive myself crazy if I don’t know what Kade had to say. I have to get this over with.

  Opening the envelope, I pull the letter out and begin reading it.

  Dear Lani,

  I know my words don’t mean anything to you, but they need to be said. This is the last time I will have anything to say, and then I have to let you go. You deserve to be happy and apparently, I can’t give that to you.

  Since we were young, I have loved you whole heartedly. I thought we would grow old together, like we had planned, and live happily ever after. But that’s not how any of it worked out. I’m sorry I hurt you, pretty girl. I’m sorry I lied and kept secrets. I’m sorry I hurt the boys and took advantage of their love. I’m sorry for everything.

  I said one lie and then it led to two. Once the second lie hit, it became more, and the rest is history. I have let you down in more ways than one over the years and all along, you deserved better. I was just too stupid and prideful to let you go.

  I never meant for any of this to happen. Jules and Lucas were a mistake. A mistake I can’t take back. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day and move on to being happy like you deserve. My brother told me that you are with Parker now and believe it or not, I’m happy for you both. I am a fool for thinking I could love you as much as he has. Not only is Parker a great guy, he’s perfect for you and the boys.

  Today, our divorce is final, and I’m writing this letter to say goodbye. I hope you find peace, love, happiness, and prosperity in the future. I know you will. You’re successful in everything that you do.

  I will always love you, pretty girl. No one could ever take that part away from me.

  Take care of Justin and Zak and please give them my love. Whether I’m around them or gone, please tell them I do care about them both. I just don’t know how to show it anymore. Losing the three of you has killed me. I’ll never be the same.

  Love,

  Kade.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Parker

  Surprising Lani, I get a hold of Gloria, Derrick, and my father and ask them to join us for lunch. She may not feel like celebrating depending on what was said in the letter Kade handed her, but I want to surprise her anyway.

  “Hey Parker, I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?” Krista, the owner of the Crab Cake Factory walks up beside me and gives me a hug.

  Krista was a junior in high school when she moved here, and graduated the year after all of us. After finishing up college, she married Johnny Brooks, and together they bought three different locations for their crab cake business. Krista and Johnny have been holding the fort down for the past ten years and have done extremely well. The beach wouldn’t be the same without Johnny’s famous Crab Cakes and Bloody Marys.

  “Doing well. Busines
s is great, life is great. Can’t complain.” I smile, and look around the bar. “Do you have room for six? Everyone’s on their way.”

  “I sure do. Let me get some menus. Follow me.”

  I follow Krista over to the table and take off my jacket. Strapping it behind my chair, I take a seat and look over the menu.

  “So,” Krista chimes back in and laughs. I look up confused. She’s staring at me with a vivid expression on her face.

  “What? Do I have something on me?” I ask confused.

  Shaking her head, she smiles and says, “Anything special going on today?”

  Shit. Have my feelings for Lani always been that obvious?

  “Yup. Lani got divorced today. She had court this morning. So, she’s finally mine. Nothing can hold us back now.”

  “Oh, Parker, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for the both of you. You guys have always been so close. I for sure thought you two would have been married, not her and Kade.”

  “Everyone did apparently. She was just oblivious to it all.”

  “That’s so exciting,” Krista claps her hands and reaches out to give me another hug.

  “Thanks. It’s been a long time coming. I couldn’t be happier.”

  “I bet. Alright, I won’t keep you. I have to pick the girls up from daycare and go to my doctor’s appointment. But it was good finally seeing you around. Don’t be a stranger.”

  “Will do. Take care and tell Johnny I said hello.”

  As I take a seat again, Dad, Gloria, and Derrick walk through the door and head in my direction.

  “Hey, son. Where’s everyone at?” Dad asks. The three of them sit down beside me.

  “Ryder called right before I got a hold of you guys, so they should be here soon. She said Lani wanted to go home and get into more comfortable clothes first.”

  “I spoke with her before court, but she hadn’t called me back yet. I’m glad you invited us. The more support she has today, the better.”

  “I agree, Derrick. I’m glad you both could come.”

  <> * <>

  “It feels good to be back in your arms, Hawk. I missed you,” Lani whispers in my ear as I hold her in my arms.

  “I’m never going anywhere, Princess. You’re stuck with me,” I reply and kiss the side of her head.

  Pulling her chair out, Lani takes a seat beside her mom, and Ryder sits on the other side of me next to my dad.

  “I’m sorry we’re running behind. I needed to change. Have you guys been waiting long?”

  Placing my hand on her leg under the table, I squeeze her thigh. “Not long. I’m just glad you’re here.”

  She kisses my cheek and picks up her menu.

  We all order our food and sit around talking. Gloria, Derrick, and I are eager to know exactly what went on in court today, so when Gloria opens up and asks Lani, I’m thankful for her not holding back. The last thing I wanted to do was push her, but I’m getting impatient.

  “Well…he gave me everything. Half of his money, everything I asked for with the boys. He has to go to counseling with Justin, but before he can do that, he has to go to anger management.”

  Unreal. There’d be a cold day in hell before I ever gave up on those boys. They’re my world.

  <> * <>

  After lunch, my dad went back to his house, Derrick and Gloria headed to the store, and I followed Lani and Ryder back to her house. We have another two hours before the boys will be home from school. I want to make it the best two hours of our lives.

  Taking off our shoes, Ryder squeezes by both of us and grabs her keys. “I gotta go, lovebirds. I’ll see y’all around. Cookout this weekend?” She smiles big. I’m surprised Lani hasn’t asked what her problem is, but maybe she’s too tired after this morning.

  Lani looks at Ryder and then back at me. “You want to do one here or at your house?”

  “Wherever y’all want, I’m game. Just tell me where to go.”

  I wrap my arms around her waist, and I pull her over to the couch and on top of my lap.

  “We’ll do it here then. The boys’ toys are here and some of Lauren’s as well.”

  “Sounds good. I’m so proud of you, sweet lips.” Ryder leans down and hugs Lani.

  “Call me later. Love you!” Lani replies.

  “Love you too. Bye Parker. Treat my girl well,” Ryder says as she approaches the door.

  “Always.”

  Once the doors shut and I hear Ryder’s car start, I lift Lani up and carry her to her bedroom. I stop outside her bedroom door and stand her up on her feet.

  “Close your eyes,” I whisper in her ear; her body squirms in front of me.

  Turning around, she looks at me with a puzzled look on her face, and asks, “Why? What did you do?”

  Shrugging it off as if it’s no big deal, I reply, “I have a surprise for you. So, turn your cute little ass around and close ‘em, baby.”

  Placing my hands over her eyes, to make sure she’s not peeking, I open the door and walk her inside. As we reach the corner of the bed, I let go of my hold around her and kiss her neck. “Open your eyes,” I whisper in her ear.

  Gasping out loud, Lani throws her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, Parker! When did you do all of this?” she cries.

  “I have my ways,” I laugh. “No, Cruz came over for me after you left from getting changed this morning and go everything ready for me. Do you like it?”

  “Like it? God, Hawk. I love it!”

  Making new memories, I wanted her to come home to a happy ending today. When Cruz left my office this morning, I gave him enough cash to get everything he would need to set this all up. As we were about to leave the restaurant, I texted him and made sure he was done, so we could head back.

  Lani’s zebra print room with black curtains made an afternoon with candles lit perfect. Four candles on each nightstand and six candles on her dresser, the lights flicker throughout the room making it all the more romantic.

  On her bed, red and white rose petals cover her king-size mattress and pillows. Cruz even made them shaped into a heart. I’ll have to thank him later for his creativeness. A wine bottle sits on a tray beside two glasses on the vanity table next to her bathroom.

  Lani wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. Sucking on her lower lip, she opens her mouth freely, my tongue immediately invades inside of her.

  Fuck. She tastes good.

  Grabbing a hold of her hips, I pull her up against my chest, so she can feel the hardness she has caused, and grind into her.

  “Ah…shit…touch me, Hawk. Please.”

  Cupping her heat, I rub my finger over her aching spot as she squirms in my arms. Setting her down on her bed, I take a deep breath and do the one thing I have always dreamed of doing. I only pray she doesn’t reject me. If she does, I don’t have a clue as to what I will do. I want this girl more than I want to breathe. She’s it for me. She’s my everything, the love of my life.

  Slipping my arms out of my suit jacket, I nonchalantly pull out the navy blue box and hold it behind my leg. Throwing the jacket on the chair beside the bed, I lift my chin to look at the most beautiful girl in the world.

  Grabbing a hold of her hand, I bring it to my lips and kiss around her palm and fingers.

  “Do you know how much you mean to me?” I ask and try to calm my nerves.

  Shaking her head, Lani gives me that breathtaking smile of hers and says, “Yes. You mean the world to me too.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a couple of deep breaths and pull the box out in front of me. I thought of a million different ways I could propose to her, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I refused. Whenever I thought I could make it special, I knew I had to do it. I need to make her mine in every way possible.

  Opening the box, she gasps again. Tears immediately stream down her face, and I can’t help but to smile. No more sad tears for my girl. From here on out, Lani Renee’ will always be happy. I’ll make sure of it.

  “I have loved you all of my lif
e, Princess. Years ago, I made the mistake of giving you up and letting you go before I knew what it was like to have you. I refuse to wait another minute. I know you’re scared. I am too, but we can be scared together. We don’t have to rush this and get married tomorrow if you don’t want to. I just want you to be mine forever. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here with open arms. I’ll support you, take care of you, and continue loving you until I have no more breath left in my body.”

  Closing her eyes, her sobs echo throughout the room, and I pull her close to me.

  “I’ll take care of Justin and Zakrie like I always have. I’ll continue to love them, support them, and be here anytime they both need me. They’ll never want for anything as long as I’m around.”

  Holding the box up, I say my final words, “Will you do me the honor of becoming my everything and marry me?”

  “I…can’t…believe…this…” she cries, and I can’t help but to laugh. The girl is adorable in anything she does.

  “Believe it, Princess. I want you forever.”

  And hurry up, I’m getting impatient waiting on your answer.

  Lani reaches her hands out and places them on both sides of my cheeks. Pulling my face close to hers, she leans in and kisses me passionately.

  “I love you, Hawk, more than anything in this world. Yes…yes, I’ll marry you and be your wife under one condition.”

  Placing my hands on the side of her hips, I look her in the eye, all playfulness aside.

  “Anything you need, Lani, I’m here.”

  She waits a couple of seconds before replying. I can tell she’s contemplating on what to say.

  “Just, please…please don’t ever leave me. I can’t go through another heartache again.”

  Ripping the ring out of the box, I slide it on her finger. My heart is pounding in my chest. “I would die before I ever hurt you, Princess. Ever. You’re my life, my everything. I promise to wake up every day and take the best care of you and the boys. You’re mine forever.”

  Crushing her mouth against mine, we rip each other’s shirts off until I have her naked chest pressing against me. Immediately, my dick starts to throb feeling the touch of her skin.