by Emma Doherty
And besides, I’m eighteen years old—I shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage or any of that bullshit. I should just be out there having fun and doing whatever I want like a normal teenager. Maybe Ellie’s right. Maybe I should dye my hair. It’s just a small step, but it’ll lead me in the right direction.
I walk over to Ellie and bend down to hug her tightly.
“Thanks, Ellie.”
She hugs me back before pulling away. “This weekend is going to be fine, Dad is going to be fine, and if you want, you can come stay with me.”
This is why I love her. “I’ll be fine.”
She nods. “Come on, go get changed, and then we can go back to my house, get Eric Jr. settled, and head out to meet Mom and Dad together.”
I smile back at her. Sometimes, especially lately, it’s felt like I don’t have anybody.
But that’s wrong. I have my sister.
13
I know something’s wrong when I find myself actually looking forward to baking with Livy at 4pm for the sole reason that it gets me out of my house.
My mom’s been around the whole weekend, drinking, giving me her unsolicited advice and just generally driving me crazy while I try my hardest to study. But, actually, my dad has been in a really tranquil, chilled-out mood. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he was nice to me or actually interested in talking to me about anything to do with my life, but he only shouted at my mom once, just for a minute before retiring to his study, and then was nice again afterward, and by the time I get home from the bakery, he’ll have already left for his flight back to New York.
Honestly, the man is exhausting. I can never, ever predict his moods.
As I drive over to the bakery, I’m actually feeling a little nervous at the thought of spending the next couple of hours with Livy. We’ve never spent any one-on-one time together, never had a private conversation in our lives—not unless you count the one time in my life when I decided to be selfless and put Chase’s happiness before my own and tried to convince her to give him a chance after she’d gotten with Jessie.
I still can’t believe she’s doing this.
If I think about it, I don’t actually know what I’d be doing without her offer. Sasha, Jennifer, and a couple of others have offered to bake a few batches of brownies for tomorrow’s bake sale, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not going to amount to much. The fact that I can use Livy’s mom’s industrial-sized ovens means I’ll be able to make decent amounts of everything and actually have a chance at making some good money.
I pull into a spot in their parking lot and make my way inside, telling myself this isn’t going to be awkward and I’m lucky to be in this position.
I walk in and immediately see Livy doing something at the cash register while two other employees are taking off their aprons and grabbing their bags. My eyes sweep around the small seating area, and I see the back of a dark-haired girl in workout leggings and a tank talking on her phone. She turns around, and I almost exhale in relief.
Sophie’s here.
I smirk to myself at the thought of actually being happy to see Sophie, but I’m way more used to her company than Livy’s, and she’s slowly been climbing up in my estimations ever since she gave me Dan’s number. I still wouldn’t categorize us as friends and Sophie certainly doesn’t need any extra friends, but I am happy she’s here. Livy clearly feels the same way as me; I’ve often thought of Sophie as Livy’s bodyguard. She says everything Livy’s probably too shy to say and sticks up for her when Livy won’t do it herself.
“You owe me,” Sophie tells me the second she’s off the phone.
“Well hello to you too.”
“Seriously, I’m expecting at least one coffee brought to me tomorrow.”
“I didn’t ask you to help.”
She shakes her head. “Not for this. I don’t care about helping you bake.”
I stare at her blankly. I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“Jessie dropped me off.”
“Jessie Stephenson?”
“Yes.”
“So?”
“So he wanted to come in and offered to help.”
“So?”
She rolls her eyes. “He wanted to hang out with you and help you out, maybe help you bake, standing close together…fingers touching in the mixing bowl…”
Huh?
“Honestly, I don’t really know what he was envisioning. I don’t think he’s baked before, because it’s not exactly erotic.”
“Wait…” My mind pings back to our chat in the hallway. “Don’t tell me he’s still stuck on us helping each other get over our exes?”
She shrugs her shoulder. “What can I say? The boy’s delusional.”
Delusional is the right word.
I snicker; I can’t help it. “He thinks there’s a chance we could hook up?”
She smirks. “He was talking about helping you carry the baked goods to your car…I guess he was thinking about how you could thank him.”
I snicker again.
“I mean, he’s my friend and I love him, but he needs to learn when he’s got no chance.”
I start to laugh. “Are you being serious?”
“Yeah, he’s always had a thing for you, and I guess high school ending has made him ambitious.”
Ambitious and delusional.
I would never get with Jessie Stephenson.
I grin at her as I imagine just how awkward it would be having him here trying to hit on me. It would be bad enough under normal circumstances, but in front of Livy and Sophie too? It makes me cringe just thinking about it. “I owe you.”
“I take payment in the form of coffee.”
“I’ll get you two.”
“Are you guys ready?” Livy calls from her spot behind the counter.
Sophie nods before Livy pushes into what I presume is the kitchen, and Sophie saunters past me to follow her before turning back to me. “Don’t say anything about it to Livy. She’ll just start stressing that he’s not happy in his life and feel guilty that she was smart enough to turn him down. The girl will find anything to worry about.”
She winks at me, and I find myself smiling back.
Yeah, it’s definitely good that Sophie is here.
“Why are you so tired?” Livy asks Sophie a couple of minutes later as she pours flour into the biggest weighing scales I’ve ever seen. Sophie’s yawned at least three times since I’ve been here.
Sophie cuts a look at her, a smirk on her face.
“Why do you think?”
Livy looks confused.
“Mark was over at my place last night.”
Oh.
Livy still looks confused.
“Mark kinda kept me busy last night…”
Livy finally gets it, and the look on her face makes me press my lips together to keep from laughing. Sophie looks like she’s enjoying Livy’s discomfort just that little bit too much.
“Yup, yesterday evening, last night, this morning—”
“Okay, Soph, we get it,” Livy interrupts, her face going red.
Sophie just laughs and glances over at me. “She’s such a prude.”
“I am not!” Livy disagrees. “I think it’s perfectly natural for two people to have sex.”
“You sound like a sex ed teacher.” Sophie laughs. “You know, it’s pretty fun.”
Livy’s bright red at this point. “Sophie, would you shut up?!” she snaps, cocking her head toward me slightly and looking like she wants to kill Sophie. “Nobody wants to hear about anyone’s sex life.”
“Or lack thereof,” Sophie murmurs, still teasing her, but her expression suddenly changes at the death glare Livy’s giving her. I look between them, thinking through what they’ve just said over the last minute.
Finally, I get it.
You know, it’s pretty fun.
Livy and Chase haven’t had sex yet.
I try not to think about the fact that he had it on tap with me a
nd would still rather be celibate and with her.
Livy looks like she wants to crawl into a hole and die.
“Abigail—”
“What? I don’t care about your sex life, Livy, or lack of it.”
She closes her eyes for a second before reopening them. “I’m pretty…I don’t…I would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.”
“I’m not going to talk to anyone about your sex life.”
She looks at me for a second and must decide to trust me, because after a minute, she nods her head.
“Just don’t expect me to give you any tips on what he likes, because I think that’s taking things a bit too far.”
She looks like she’s about to burst into tears at that comment, and I know immediately that I’ve crossed a line. The fact that Sophie’s whirled around to look at me with a face like thunder backs that up.
“Sorry,” I say. “That was a bitchy thing to say.”
“I didn’t mean…I don’t even know why we’re talking about this—”
“How about we change the subject, huh? I’m pretty sure neither of us want to have this conversation.”
“That’d be great,” Livy mutters, still looking down at the flour in front of her.
Oh jeez. Now I feel like total shit for making her feel bad when she’s here helping me out.
“Livy,” I start awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
She looks over at me and offers me a weak grin. “It’s fine. Sorry, I’m just sensitive about it I guess.”
My eyes dart over to Sophie, who is watching us silently.
“I just…” I’m surprised Livy’s continued talking and not taken the option to move the conversation on. “Sometimes…I don’t know, sometimes it just feels like everyone else is doing it.”
Sophie scoffs. “That’s because they are.”
Livy goes bright red. “I’m just not ready.”
Sophie softens. “And that’s fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Livy shifts uncomfortably, clearly not reassured.
I clear my throat. “Chase won’t care, Livy. He really likes you, and I know he won’t care about taking it slow until you’re ready.”
How has it come to this?
Seriously, how am I comforting my ex’s new girlfriend about her not being ready to have sex with the guy I was in love with for years?
“Really, I mean it. He won’t care about that at all. He loves you.”
Livy smiles at me. “Thanks. Really, thank you.” She looks around the kitchen. “I’ll go grab the chocolate chips we’ll need.”
Sophie looks over at me the minute Livy’s exited the room. “That was nice of you.”
I shrug.
“Didn’t think you were capable of it.”
I flip her the finger as she smirks over at me, and then Livy comes in carrying a couple of bags of chocolate chips, which she lays down in front of me.
“Okay.” She turns to me, business-like. “What were you thinking we should make?”
Ummmm…
“Brownies are usually a really big seller. I’m guessing we want to make things that are popular so people will buy. Chocolate chip cookies. Muffins…?”
Livy looks at me expectantly.
“Cheesecake would be amazing too,” Sophie says.
“Um, well…whatever you think.”
She opens her mouth to say something then closes it again. Obviously she was expecting me to be a little bit more informed about this.
“I brought money,” I say, grabbing my bag and pulling out the cash I have in there. “To pay for the supplies, or I can Venmo you if that’s easier?”
“Oh…sure. Great, thanks. We can sort out how much it will be at the end.”
“This won’t leave your mom without supplies, will it?”
She shakes her head. “She’s doing a big order this week. She’ll just add more on to that.”
“What about caramel slices?” Sophie jumps in. “I love them.”
Livy nods agreeably. “How much do you think we’ll need?”
“Uh…quite a bit?”
Sophie snorts, and when I look over at her, she laughs. “Did you give this any thought before you came here?”
Fair point.
“Okay, how many kids go to our school?” Livy asks, grabbing a notepad and pen. She’s clearly not about to chastise me like Sophie and instead is wanting to help solve the problem of my lack of plan.
“Fifteen hundred?” Sophie says, looking at me for confirmation, which she won’t get. “Two thousand?”
I have no idea.
“Well, say one in every two students buys something, we’re gonna need at least 750 items,” Livy muses.
My jaw drops. “We can’t make that much stuff.”
She shrugs. “Maybe 500 then?”
“That’s still an insane amount.”
Livy smiles at me. “We have big ovens and baking trays—you’d be surprised. We could get pretty close.”
“Whatever we make will sell out,” Sophie says with total confidence.
I’m not so sure, and she must be able to read my mind.
“The cafeteria food sucks in the morning, and everywhere else decent is a car ride away. They’ll have nowhere else to go, so they’ll buy from us.”
I guess that makes sense, but it still seems like an awful lot of baked goods.
“But girls won’t be eating this stuff,” I say. There’s no way I’ll be eating any of it. I’d pile on five pounds in one morning if I had only three items.
Livy looks confused, and Sophie laughs again. “There are some girls who eat, Abigail. Not everyone’s like the cheerleaders.”
I glare at her as Livy looks between us. “She’s right. The soccer team would eat at least two each.”
Well now I feel ridiculous.
“Let’s get started.”
I look at the time: it’s already nearly 4:30pm. “Will we have time to make that much?” I wave my hand in the general direction of the ovens.
“If we get started soon,” Livy says, glancing at the clock and not looking particularly concerned.
I’m not convinced, and I don’t particularly want to be any more indebted to Livy than I already am. I’ll feel awful if we’re here for hours.
“What first?” Sophie asks, and Livy starts doling out instructions, showing me a side to her that I’ve never seen before. Most of the time, she’s kind of a worrier. She’s definitely always been anxious and stressed but seems to have gotten so much better lately. Now that I think about it, that’s probably because of Chase.
We spend the next hour weighing things out, melting butter, mixing ingredients, adding extra sugar, distributing the dough and batter into cookie shapes and baking trays, and before I know it, we have trays upon trays in the oven baking away. We tidy up, washing up the things we’ve used then getting ready for the next batch of things we’re making.
Sophie’s been blasting music from her phone and keeping up a steady stream of chatter, which I’ve even been joining in on.
It’s actually really funny seeing Livy and Sophie together like this. They’re like chalk and cheese, but seeing them in such close proximity, I can understand why they’ve always been inseparable. They just work together as best friends, and I can’t help feeling slightly jealous that I don’t have a friend like that.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Sophie tells Livy as she stretches. “I found the perfect Father’s Day present—I’m buying my dad tickets to that cheesy Oasis tribute band he likes.”
She glances over at me.
“My dad thinks he’s some British emo kid. It’s embarrassing.”
I smile back at her. I always knew Sophie was popular, but now that we’ve been in each other’s company so much more where we’re not just bitching at each other, it’s easy to see why. She’s just so easy to like.
God, I wouldn’t have said that a couple of weeks ago.
> “Isn’t it a bit early for Father’s Day presents?” Livy asks. “It’s months away.”
“Nah, this is perfect.”
“I haven’t even thought about it.”
“You’ll get Ray something, right?”
She nods.
“Who’s Ray?” I ask.
“My stepdad.”
“And what about your real dad?”
Both Livy and Sophie fall silent at that.
I’ve obviously said something wrong.
“Um…well…I don’t speak to my dad. He moved away.”
“Oh. Right.”
“It’s okay. He just didn’t want to know me, I guess. My stepdad is great.”
“Maybe you’re lucky he’s not here,” I say before I can think.
I can feel Sophie’s laser glare on me.
Livy’s turned rigid.
“I just mean not all dads are great.” I try to amend my statement, knowing I’ve crossed yet another invisible line with Livy.
“Um…well…he’s not…”
“Livs, you don’t have to explain,” Sophie says reassuringly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say.
“No, it’s just…he moved away when I was five. He just left us.”
I’ve wished so many times that my dad would do that.
“I don’t even have his phone number. He has a new family now, and it hurts that”—Why is she telling me this?—“he’s with the woman he cheated on my mom with.”
Why does Livy Chapman feel the need to tell me this?
“He just went on a business trip then never came back.”
Seriously, is she trying to give me the lowdown on her life, make me understand her more?
“I have two half-sisters I’ve never even met.”
Am I supposed to feel sorry for her?
“I don’t know, I just think—”
“Yeah, but did he hit your mom?!” I blurt out before I can even think, my voice like steel.
