by Emma Doherty
Both of them stop, staying deadly still.
“Did he beat her until she was black and blue when you were eleven years old?”
I’m starting to shake now.
“Do you have to live in fear that he might do it again one day whenever he loses his vile temper?”
I glance at Sophie then immediately look away. I can’t handle the look of concern on her face, so I turn back to Livy, who looks horrified.
“Do you have to put up with him acting all happy and polite and friendly in public but then hate when he’s home because you never know how’s he’s going to react to anything, and little things that you can never predict could set him off?”
Livy blinks rapidly, unsure what to do.
“And do you have to deal with your mom acting like it never happened and refusing to even consider leaving him just because he has money and to her that’s more important?”
I feel a single tear slide down my face.
“And when he’s due to come home, when he’s back from his life in New York, which you know he prefers, do you feel stressed and nervous and angry all at the same time and know that it turns you into a raging bitch at times before he’s back, but there’s nothing you can do about it?”
I swipe at my face, brushing away tears.
“And then did you have to experience the one person who helps you deal with it being in love with someone else for your whole relationship and then finally getting with them right in front of you?”
I am so mad at myself right now. I can’t believe I’m saying this—about my dad, about Chase, about her. This is not something I would ever usually share.
“Abigail…” Livy takes a step closer to me. “I’m so—”
“Don’t.” My voice is so loud now. The last thing I want is her sympathy. “Don’t you dare pity me.”
“I wasn’t going—”
“Just stop it. I’m sorry, Livy. You might have won the guy, but you don’t get to win the shitty dad contest.”
I wipe at my face again and take a deep breath, trying my hardest to pull myself together.
There’s a beeping from the ovens, presumably telling us the brownies are ready.
I look at both of them; they’re looking at me like I’ve just set off a bomb, and it makes me want to burst into tears. I have never, ever told anyone all this stuff before. Not even Chase knows all that, and now I’ve just blurted it out to two people who don’t even like me, just because I couldn’t control my temper.
Dammit.
I stare at the floor for at least a minute while there’s complete silence around me, and I concentrate on trying to steady my breathing.
The oven beeps again.
“Let’s just get on with this, okay?” I ask, praying they let me move past it and don’t push me to talk about anything else.
“Abigail, I am so, so sorry,” Livy says. “I had no idea.”
Well how the hell would she?
“That’s terr—”
“Oh, can you just stop being so fucking nice for two minutes, Livy,” I explode. “I’m being a complete bitch to you. I’m blaming you for something you have no control over and you’re still being nice to me! Even after the way I’ve always treated you.”
“Livs,” Sophie says quietly, nodding her head in the direction of door.
Livy looks back at me once then turns and leaves with Sophie right behind her.
I let out a deep breath as the door swings shut.
Well, I certainly screwed that up.
I stare at the counter in front of me, focusing on breathing so I can pull it back together and not break down and start crying.
I can’t make this even worse by starting to cry.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Eventually, I start to feel my heartbeat return to normal, and I look around the kitchen, the state it’s in and the damage I’ve just done. I can’t believe the people I decided to tell all my most personal secrets to happen to be my ex’s new girlfriend and her best friend.
Freaking wonderful Abigail.
The ovens beep again, and I don’t know what to do. I know I should get the baked goods out before they start to burn so at least the last couple of hours haven’t been a complete waste of time, but I don’t even know where the oven mitts are kept.
I’m just considering taking off my apron and using that as makeshift mitts when the door swings open and Sophie comes back in.
She takes one look at the oven before turning to me. “Oven mitts are in that drawer over there,” she instructs, nodding to a drawer close to the oven.
“I shouldn’t have—”
“Quick,” she says, jerking her head toward the oven. “They’ll burn.”
Okay.
I do as she says, opening the oven and carefully pulling out the three trays of brownies that smell so good I want to devour them all before they’re even cut up.
Sophie immediately moves in behind me with the muffins and puts them in the oven, closing the door firmly. She looks around. There’s still some cleaning up to do. “Let’s cut up the brownies, add the icing sugar, and then continue cleaning up.”
“Sophie…” I let out a long sigh. I have no idea what to say to her. “I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
She doesn’t even glance at me. “Forget about it. We have.”
I swallow hard. “I should go. I get that Livy probably doesn’t want me here after I said all that.”
“And leave me to deal with all this?”
I blink in surprise. “What?”
Sophie makes a face and pulls out a set of keys from her pocket. “It’s fine. Livy’s fine. She left me her keys. We just have to make sure we clean up and everything’s put back in place.”
I gape at her. I made Livy feel so bad she left?
“I didn’t mean to say any of that stuff. I didn’t mean to blame Livy for any of it.”
“I know,” Sophie tells me softly, stopping to look at me directly. “We both do.”
I blink rapidly, trying to push back the tears that are threatening to hit my eyes again. “Please don’t tell anyone,” I whisper. “I’ve never told anyone that stuff before. Not even Chase knows all of that.”
“We won’t breathe a word,” she tells me quietly, earnestly, and I believe her. “Not to anyone. Neither of us will.”
I nod, not knowing what else to do. I have no choice but to trust her on that.
We spend the next half hour working in pretty much silence, making sure the place is spotless, packing up the goods and carrying them out to my car, and waiting for the final batch of goodies to be done. Sophie blasts her music, sings along to a bunch of songs, and just generally acts like this is the most normal situation we could be in. I’m so grateful for it, so, so grateful.
We’re just waiting on the final muffins to cook when she turns to me. “We have rehearsals for the final pep rally this week, right?”
I nod. I don’t trust myself to speak.
She grins. “I think we should wear our uniforms that day.”
I manage to force a smile at that. We’ve never been one of those teams that wear their uniforms on game days, just when we’re actually at games, but I guess she’s getting nostalgic about everything coming to an end.
She turns back to look at the ovens, tapping away on her phone and whistling some tune I don’t know. She holds up her phone. “Do you like this dress? I’m trying to get my mom to buy it for me as a graduation present, but she says it’s indecent.”
I look at the picture of the scrap of material Sophie is calling a dress. It’s ultra-short, ultra-low-cut, and everything would be on display, but I’d bet a million dollars Sophie would look incredible in it. She has the figure to wear anything.
When I don’t answer, she puts the phone down, and I continue to stare at the ovens and the countdown clock that tells us there’s still five minutes left. I see out of the corner of my eye that she’s turned to face me, and I’m sure she’s
just bracing herself to finally bring up what I said earlier, to tell me off about the way I spoke to Livy or just generally tell me I need to sort my life out and stop being so hung up on someone who has clearly moved on, but she surprises me. “So, yeah, Chase is hot and all—you know I’ve always thought that, right?”
Know it? She used to flirt with him constantly. Most of the time I think she was just doing it to wind me up, but I have no doubt that Sophie always thought Chase was hot.
She’s paused and looks like she’s expecting a reaction, so I nod my head.
“But have you ever watched a movie with him?”
I don’t say anything. My heartbeat feels like it’s still hammering in my chest. I feel like it has been ever since my meltdown.
“Like does he have to talk the whole way through and constantly give spoilers?”
I can’t help it. I smile, a genuine one this time. Sophie Steele manages to make me smile when only an hour ago I thought that was impossible.
“I mean it’s annoying as fuck. Am I right?”
“Yeah. That is kind of annoying.”
“He ruined the Avengers movie for me.” She winks at me. “I mean, who needs that in their life, right?”
Yeah, Sophie Steele isn’t that bad after all.
She’s definitely one of the good ones.
14
When I get to school early the next morning, ready to try to find a bunch of tables to sell from, Sasha and Jennifer are already there waiting for me, their contributions to my bake sale in their hands.
Their smiles and enthusiasm are enough to ease some of the tension I feel about the success of this morning—it’s going to be really embarrassing if I don’t sell out—and their jaws drop when they see the sheer amount of goodies I have in my car. Trays upon trays of cookies, caramel slices, brownies, muffins, cheesecake, almond slices—so much stuff that I don’t even know how I’m going to carry all of it.
“Oh my god, Abigail! This is amazing,” Sasha exclaims.
“I just hope it sells,” I mutter.
They help me stack them up, being careful not to squash anything, and we cut across the parking lot, me cursing myself for not thinking about exactly where would be best to set up before now. I’ll probably waste a bunch of time trying to track stuff down and miss the first crowd of students coming into school.
“Dammit.”
I forgot the coffees I bought for Sophie and Livy on the way into school today—not that that in any way makes up for my behavior yesterday and my meltdown when Livy’s only been nice to me, but I thought it was the very least I could do, and I’ve left them in the car. I don’t even know how I’m going to give them to them as I’ll be busy manning the bake sale, but maybe they’ll walk past or I can ask Sasha to get them to them.
I place what I’m carrying in Sasha and Jennifer’s already full arms and rush back to my car, aware I’m wasting yet more time but knowing I want to do this for them. I grab the cups then rush back across the lot, taking the left that leads to the main entrance.
And then stop dead at what I see.
Sophie and Livy are standing in front of a bunch of tables they’ve grouped together, accepting the trays of goodies from Sasha and Jennifer. They’ve put up a big sign that says ‘Bake Sale’ on one of the tables, there are what look like takeout boxes for people who maybe want more than one thing and napkins to serve the goodies with, and there are already a bunch of students (presumably ones who have come in early for clubs) who are hovering nearby.
I bite down on my lip to stop me crying right here and now.
I’ve gotten so damn emotional.
But this is nice. Really, really nice, and I don’t deserve it.
I slowly make my way over to them, my eyes darting around as Sasha and Jennifer help Livy and Sophie arrange the food.
Sophie looks up as I approach. “About time.”
I clear my throat. “I didn’t know you would be here.”
Livy flashes Sophie a nervous look, but Sophie just smirks at me. “You didn’t think we were going to let you take all the credit for this, did you?”
I blink and realize she’s letting me off the hook. She’s not going to make me address yesterday, and she’s letting me act like nothing happened.
“Hey.” I turn to see Chase and Aaron approaching. They’re here way earlier than I’ve ever seen them before, and their eyes are already fixed on the food on the tables. “This looks amazing.”
“I want it all,” Aaron declares, practically drooling.
I hold out my car keys, which are still in my hand. “There’s more in my car. Can you go grab the rest?”
They immediately agree and take off in the direction of my vehicle, and I turn back to the group in front of me.
Sophie, Sasha, and Jennifer are laughing about something, but Livy still looks a little uncomfortable. I’m not surprised. I’ve only ever been a dick to her, and she’s never deserved it. Even yesterday, when she opened up about her dad to me, I still managed to turn it around and be a jerk.
Sophie might be willing to let my behavior yesterday slide, but I don’t deserve to be let off the hook, especially not by Livy.
I clear my throat, and they all look up.
“Um…could I speak to you two?” I ask Sophie and Livy, nodding away from the tables toward a spot where I can speak to them without being overheard.
Sasha and Jennifer send me curious looks as Livy and Sophie walk over to join me.
They don’t say anything as they watch me expectantly.
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” I tell Livy directly. “You’ve been really nice to me, offering to help me with this and letting me use your bakery, and I didn’t mean to go off on you. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m really sorry.”
Livy blinks in surprise; clearly she wasn’t expecting that. After a minute… “That’s okay. We all snap sometimes.”
Snap. That’s a nice way of putting it.
“And I’m sorry to you, Sophie. I know I put you in an awkward position going off on your best friend, and I really appreciate you staying so we could finish up.” I hold out the drinks that’ve been in my hands this whole time. “I brought you both coffee. I know it doesn’t make up for how much you’ve helped me, but I want you to know I really do appreciate the help and I’m really grateful—and for you bringing the napkins and takeout boxes and the forks for the cheesecake. I didn’t even think about that. I really appreciate it.”
Livy smiles, such a sweet, genuine expression that I can tell exactly why Chase fell so hard for her. “Thanks, Abigail. That’s great.” I hand her coffee over and watch as she takes a sip. “Oh my god, this is great.”
“Salted cream cold brew with sugar-free caramel. It’s a game changer.”
She nods as she takes another sip.
I hesitate. “Please don’t tell anyone that stuff I told you about my dad.” My gaze darts between them.
Livy’s face softens. “I wouldn’t tell anyone that, Abigail. I promise.”
Sophie nods. “You know we won’t.”
I guess I do know that. If I’ve learned nothing else over the last couple of weeks, it’s that Livy and Sophie are good people, but the thought of my private, personal business becoming public knowledge still fills me with dread.
I hand Sophie’s coffee over to her, and she takes a sip of it herself. She nods in approval. “This is good.”
“Right?”
A cunning look comes into her eyes. “You know, this does make up for me stopping Jessie from staying yesterday…”
I narrow my eyes at her. I know Sophie well enough to know something else is coming.
“…but I don’t think it makes up for me giving up hours of my Sunday to help you bake.”
“Soph,” Livy hisses, shoving her in her side.
I cross my arms. “What do you want?”
“Your Chanel handbag for the next month.”
My jaw drops. “That’s my favorite!”<
br />
She shrugs. “For a reason.”
I can’t help the small smile forming on my lips. “Well played.”
She grins in triumph.
I roll my eyes but smile back regardless.
“Um, guys?” Sasha calls from the tables. I look over to see that Chase and Aaron are back, and the tables are so full they’re having to lay the rest of the trays on the chairs behind them, stacking them up so they’re out of the way until they’re needed. Sasha nods behind me. “Maybe we should get started?”
I turn behind me to see that the small crowd has grown considerably. My eyes widen. Maybe we will sell a lot after all.
I walk back to the table, scanning the items.
Aaron pulls out his wallet. “Okay, I want two brownies, a slice of cheesecake, and one of those cookies.”
“How much are you charging?” Jennifer asks.
I hesitate. Why the hell didn’t I think about this before?
I make a snap decision. “Five dollars for everything.”
Jennifer’s eyes widen in surprise. “Five dollars?”
“Yup. This is the only place nearby, the food in the cafeteria is crap, and it’s for charity.”
“To be fair, it’s similar to what my mom charges,” Livy agrees.
“Cash or Venmo,” I tell them, “but make sure you check that the money’s come through on Venmo before they go.”
Aaron shrugs, hands over a twenty, and then we’re mobbed. We spend the next thirty minutes selling goodies, and I watch in amazement as I see the cash stack up and my phone ping with notifications of money hitting my bank account.
It’s amazing to me how much people will pay for sugar.
“Here.”
I look up from checking my phone to see Sarah standing in front of me holding out a twenty-dollar bill. It takes me a second to realize she wants me to take it.
She waves it at me again. We haven’t spoken at all since I shut her down by calling Dan Summers in front of her. I’ve seen her around, of course, and she’s still been eating lunch at our table, but she sits in the farthest possible seat from me. She’s definitely been keeping a lower profile and has mainly just been hanging out with Jenna, one of the girls on the squad, and has avoided me, Sasha, and Jennifer entirely.
