The Highlander's Bride

by Donna Fletcher

  Sara’s breathing had yet to calm, while Cullen’s chest heaved a rapid tempo.

  She couldn’t help but touch her lips, which pulsed wildly, tingling her fingertips.

  Cullen remained where he stood, staring at her.

  Neither of them said a word, and then he began to gather the food on the remaining blanket and pack it away, after which he rolled up the blanket and secured it to his horse.

  Meanwhile, Sara didn’t move. She wasn’t certain she could. Her legs trembled and her stomach rolled and she wasn’t at all sure if she could take a step without toppling.

  She continued to stare at Cullen’s back, broad, muscled, and…

  He turned around in a flash and headed for her, his feet pounding the ground, stirring the dry earth. The determined look in his narrowed dark eyes almost made Sara run in the opposite direction.

  But she stayed where she was, and when he walked up to her, he took hold of her arm and walked her back to the horses. She almost stumbled a few times but he kept her firm on her feet, thank goodness, since her legs trembled more now than they had before. Once in front of her mare, his large hands settled around her waist snugly and, with one swift lift, he placed her on her horse and handed her the reins.

  When she thought he was about to step away, his hand came down to rest on her knee, hard and firm.

  “We’ll get this right, you and me,” he said, as if giving his word, then reaffirmed it. “We’ll get this right.”

  Chapter 16

  Cullen had much on his mind. There was his son’s safety to consider, his plans of revenge, and yet for the moment he thought about Sara and how much he owed her for saving his son’s life. At least he attempted to convince himself that was the reason she plagued his thoughts.

  The horses meandered along the unobstructed path, the sun bright, the air fresh with spring, and his mind on making love to her. He shook his head, hoping to clear it, yet worried it wouldn’t work.

  They hadn’t shared a week together and yet he felt as if they had shared years. How could that be? When she had spoken of rescuing his son, he felt as if he’d been a part of it. He had held his breath with the telling of the tale and sensed the danger that surrounded her, and still she had taken a chance, placed her life in jeopardy, to save his son.

  She’d done it again when she protected the lad at market. She was either very brave or very foolish, and somehow he didn’t see Sara as foolish.

  She was a remarkable woman whom he greatly admired and respected, and he felt her loneliness, perhaps because he shared it with her. How he had gotten to understand this complex woman, he couldn’t say. He only knew that little by little she had revealed herself to him without even realizing it. And the more he uncovered, the more he cherished knowing her.

  Perhaps that was why he found himself attracted to her, something he hadn’t expected. But she had grown on him like a persistent root that took firm hold and didn’t reveal its beauty until it blossomed. And Cullen knew that Sara had yet to blossom.

  Three days until they reached McHern land, and he wanted to make certain their wedding vows were sealed by then. He wouldn’t take a chance with Sara’s safety. When he met her father, he would be sure that no one could dispute that she was in all ways his wife. He would see her safe before taking leave with his son. He owed her that much.

  The road opened to a wider path, leaving the forested area behind them and mostly meadows ahead. He was glad they could avoid the gloomy barren moors and travel in the richness of the Highlands. He wanted to scorch the brilliance of the Highlands in his mind so he could describe his son’s birthplace to him someday.

  He waved Sara to ride beside him, and she obliged, bringing her mare alongside his.

  She sat firm and steady in the saddle. Her exceptional skill with a horse amazed him. She rode her mare with confidence, in full control, not the least bit intimidated by the animal. She saw to it that the horse did as she directed, and brooked no objection, just as she had handled the man at market. Her fearlessness filled him with pride for her—his wife.

  He turned the conversation far from his thoughts, not yet ready to openly admit his admiration to her and certainly not wanting her to misconstrue it.

  “I never imagined leaving my home,” he said, his honesty mixing with his sorrow.

  “I have learned it is best to expect the unexpected,” she said, “for then change is not so difficult.”

  “Being practical doesn’t work when it comes to love,” he informed her, and noticed how the gentleness in her blue-green eyes belied her brash nature. Hers was an empathetic soul combined with a passionate spirit.

  She shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.”

  “You resign yourself to an empty life,” he said with a twinge of guilt, though he wondered why. It had been by her choice that this arrangement was made.

  “Is that what you think?” she asked incredulously. “You believe my life will be empty because I will never truly love?”

  “Love is a driving force that few escape and that most ache to find.”

  “True enough,” she agreed with a sharp nod. “But I would prefer to find a rare love, one that is everlasting, than to be left with the bad taste of a brief offer that means nothing.”

  He smiled and nodded. “Now I understand why it was so difficult for you to find a husband. You actually searched for a man to love.”

  “Of course,” she admitted without hesitation. “If I was committing to spending the rest of my life with this man, then I intended to love him, or at least respect him at the onset so that love had a chance to develop. How else would I have been able to commit to him?”

  “And not a one struck your fancy?”

  She rolled her eyes and head to the Heavens. “Sweet Lord, not a one.”

  “None with the slightest potential?” he asked seriously.

  “Nothing,” she stressed with a firm shake of her head.

  He couldn’t help but tease her. “Then you found me.”

  “Hah! You wish,” she said.

  He felt the bite of her rejection, and damn if it didn’t annoy him. “Am I not better than any you have come across thus far?”

  Sara looked him up and down, pursing her lips, narrowing her eyes as if she took serious stock of him.

  He near choked on his own laughter. “You have to think about it?”

  “What I know of you thus far would put you near the top of the list.”

  “Not the top?” he asked, wounded.

  “The top is reserved for the man I love,” she said seriously. “I may never find him, but he will remain forever there, first in my heart and mind.”

  “How lucky for him,” Cullen said caustically, wondering why it irritated him so much.

  “Lucky for us both,” she corrected.

  “Then it’s equality you search for in a husband?”

  “Equal respect and patience.” She chuckled. “From watching my share of marriages falter, I realize that if a husband and wife don’t have patience with each other, their marriage is doomed.”

  “You do a lot of observing?”

  “I found it not only a wise skill but a beneficial one. Know your foe and friend alike and you are less likely to be hurt or disappointed.”

  He realized why she intrigued him. She was far more intelligent than the average woman, which produced her confident nature, which certainly would threaten most men, at least men of little character and even less intelligence. No wonder she had had such difficulty finding a husband. He doubted few men existed who could call themselves her equal.

  “I also found that by observing others, I learned much about myself,” she said with a gentle smile.

  “What did you learn?” he asked curiously, amazed at how much he enjoyed talking with her.

  “You may not believe it,” her eyes sparkled with glee, “but I can be stubborn at times.”

  Cullen dramatically smacked his hand to his chest. “No, not you.”

  Sara laughed pl
ayfully. “At least I admit it.”

  “Are you suggesting that I’m stubborn?” he asked, finding her merriment contagious and smiling even though he was certain she had just accused him of being stubborn.

  “I think we’re equally stubborn.”

  “That, I can admit to!”

  He often found strength in his own stubbornness. It had gotten him through more difficult times in his life than he cared to remember. His stubbornness had proved a quality he couldn’t afford to live without and therefore helped him to understand the quality of her stubbornness.

  “Do you also know you have a generous heart?”

  She glared at him, her burgeoning eyes displaying her disbelief. “No—” Her bewilderment impaired her response, and she faltered before finally admitting, “I’ve never been told I have a generous heart. ‘Cold and selfish’ are the words I’ve heard more often than not in describing my heart.”

  “Then obviously the person doesn’t know you, or perhaps it is himself he describes.”

  Her eyes saddened, and it saddened his heart.

  “It is nice to have someone who defends me.”

  “You are my wife,” he said firmly. “And the truth is always easy to defend.”

  “You may find yourself constantly defending your wife once we reach my home.”

  Her serious remark made him realize he wasn’t as prepared for the encounter with her father as he should be. He knew little about the man or her home. If they planned to convince her father of their wedded bliss, then he needed to know more and they had to appear a loving couple.

  “If that’s the case, then make me aware of what I need to know before we arrive, and we need to start acting the newly wed, loving couple.”

  Sara sighed. “I’ve been thinking the same myself.”

  “Consummating our vows would be a good step—”

  “How so?” she was quick to ask, though it sounded more an accusation.

  “Intimacy brings a certain amount of comfort between couples. It establishes a natural bond, which your father will not be able to deny.”

  Sara let lose another sigh. “You’re right.”

  Cullen knew that Sara possessed the rare ability to recognize the truth, or perhaps they simply saw things the same way. Regardless, she never argued the truth of a situation. She bluntly stated facts and solutions and that was that. Even if her logic could irritate at times, it was simply because she was right. As she had been about sealing their vows.

  “Actually, you’ve been right all along.” He paused, figuring she’d want to speak a few victory words here, and when none came, just a curious smile, he admired her resigned confidence even more.

  “We need to protect our vows. It is the wise thing to do, as was my choice in wedding you to gain custody of my son. We have a bargain, and I intend to fulfill my end, as I know you will fulfill yours.”

  “It’s simple that way.” Her eyes saddened again, and again it hurt his heart. “It’s a bargain we’ve struck, no more, no less, and we’ll be done with it soon enough.”

  Cullen nodded, his heart growing heavier with sadness. He had tasted love with Alaina and it was like nothing he ever experienced before. He wondered if he could truly find pleasure with a woman he didn’t love, though he cared for Sara. She was a good woman with a good heart. How would he feel making love to her?

  No, not love, as Sara had reminded him. They’d simply be done with it, and that thought didn’t sit well with him at all.

  They found a stream to stop by for the night and set up camp, each familiar and comfortable with their chores by now and completing them without question or complaint.

  They had established a comfortable bond, and while it wasn’t actually an intimate one, it was a close one. He had come to rely on her in sharing the burdens of their journey, and she on him to keep her safe. At least he wanted to believe she felt that way, since he took his wife’s safety seriously.

  The night air brought with it a chill, and the fire’s warmth was most welcome, along with the food they shared.

  Cullen noticed that Sara had arranged their blankets on opposite sides of the campfire, and he wondered if it was her way of informing him that they wouldn’t be done with it tonight. He didn’t believe she feared their joining, so perhaps she was merely shy.

  The thought almost sent him into a fit of laughter. Shy was not a word he would use to describe Sara. She was a curious woman who didn’t shy away from learning or experiencing anything.

  Just from the few kisses they had shared, he sensed she would be a willing and curious lover. She was a woman who had passion for everything she did, and he had no doubt she’d approach sex with the same enthusiasm.

  He wasn’t surprised that halfway through the meal she was blunt with him about the placement of the blankets.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for intimacy with you.”

  “I can understand that.”

  “You can?” she asked, astonished.

  “Of course, we barely know each other—”

  “No,” she interrupted, shaking her head. “Many couples wed barely knowing the other. I think the problem is that I do know you now.”

  “Don’t find me appealing?” he teased, hoping to lighten her concern.

  “You are appealing, again another problem.”

  It was his turn to shake his head. “Explain.”

  Sara brushed her hands free of crumbs and sighed. “It was easier when I didn’t know anything about you. You were a man in search of his son.”

  “I still am.”

  “Yes, but you’re also a man still deeply in love with the woman he loved, and a man willing to go to any lengths to rescue his son, a man of strength and character. A man to be respected.”

  “Then what is the problem?”

  “You’re a man I could easily fall in love with.”

  Cullen was shocked silent.

  “And I don’t want to do that, for then it would be hard to say good-bye to you, and know I would never see you again.”

  “We’ve only met. You can’t possibly know that—”

  “How long did it take you to know that you could love Alaina?”

  He was hesitant to answer, but he did, and with honesty. “I knew I could love her when I first laid eyes on her.”

  She smiled.

  How did he argue with her? And why did he feel angry with her?

  “This is nonsense,” he snapped, and tried to talk sense into her. “I was there when you needed a husband, and you are simply grateful for the rescue. You are feeling gratitude, nothing more.”

  “Then why do I enjoy your kisses?” she asked with a soft distress.

  Damn, if that knowledge didn’t stir his blood, and he was fast to dismiss it before it threatened him. “Because you’ve never been kissed before. It’s only natural you’d enjoy it.”

  “I feel comfortable in your arms.”

  He enjoyed the feel of her there. He near cursed himself for the intruding thought, and continued to try and convince her otherwise. “No man has ever offered you comfort, so of course you would favor the feel of my embrace. I am your first in many ways. It is common to feel as you do. It will pass.”

  “Will it?” she asked with urgent hope.

  “Yes,” he assured her. “Besides—”

  “You could never love me.”

  He shut his eyes a moment, and when he opened them, her blue-green eyes rested sadly on his face. She knew his answer.

  “I loved Alaina.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  “It isn’t love. It’s gratitude. Trust me,” he urged, while sadness squeezed at his heart. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he had to be truthful. She respected the truth. She would understand in time.

  “I’m glad you clarified it for me,” she said with a weak smile. “And I’m glad you didn’t make jest of it.”

  “I would never do that.”

  “I didn’t think you would, which is what gave me the confi
dence to speak to you about it. You are an honorable man, another quality I so longed for in a husband.”

  “I am your husband,” he said, and stood. “And it is time to seal our vows.”

  Chapter 17

  Sara didn’t budge or prevent Cullen from joining her on the blanket. She had discovered pleasure in the few intimate moments they had shared together and could only imagine how wonderful the depths of intimacy would be with him. Now, however, she didn’t know if she wanted those memories. They would most likely haunt her for the rest of her life and leave her feeling empty and lonely, and she was lonely enough already.

  “There’s nothing to fear,” he reassured her softly, linking her fingers with his.

  She regrettably broke the link, easing her hand away from him. “I don’t fear being intimate with you. I fear what would follow, and having lost the woman you love, you know what I refer to.”

  “I am glad to have loved briefly than never to have tasted love at all.”

  “Then you are stronger than me,” she admitted freely.

  His grin turned to a tender laugh. “I’d say more foolish than strong.”

  Sara chuckled along with him. “But isn’t it fools who truly love, for they don’t allow fear to stop them?”

  Cullen nodded and reached once again to take hold of her hand. “Neither of us are fools, and love doesn’t have anything to do with our agreement. You are grateful to me and I to you, and we do what we must for the benefit of us both.” He slowly traced circles in the palm of her hand. “Enjoy the moment and think of nothing more.”

  How could she think straight? His simple touch created havoc within her, causing tingles and shivers to race over her flesh and throughout her body. He leaned toward her and she knew he meant to kiss her, and as much as she wanted to taste his kiss, she knew it would be a mistake, and a costly one.

  Regretfully, she eased away from him, her hand sliding out of his grasp. “I can’t do this.”

  “But isn’t it best that you do?” he asked.