The Fiction Writer's Guide to Dialogue
Page 14
“It’s a motto,” Augustus said. “It just says itself.” He was determined to conceal for as long as possible the fact that he didn’t know what the motto meant . . .
Call was quick to see the point. “You don’t know yourself,” he said. “It could say anything. For all you know it invites people to rob us.”
Augustus got a laugh out of that. “The first bandit that comes along that can read Latin is welcome to rob us, as far I’m concerned,” he said. “I’d risk a few nags for the opportunity of shooting an educated man for a change.”
This one needs no commentary:
Atticus said to Jem one day, “I’d rather you shot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you’ll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”
That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it.
“Your father’s right,” she said. “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, they don’t nest n corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”
Upland Game, by Howard Frank Mosher, is a favorite short story of mine. A leathery, tubercular sharpshooter and salesman of shotguns and shells has come to the tiny town of Kingdom Common in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont. The narrator is an adolescent boy who is exceedingly proud of his big brother, Charlie. Charlie has made a bet with the sharpshooter that he can outshoot him in the woods:
“The springs in your rig are all shot to hell and gone,” I said.
“No call for barbershop talk,” he said, yanking at the heel of a rubber. “You was my kid, you’d be cutting a switch about now.”
“You ever have any kids?”
“No, praise be.”
He stood up and struggled into his overcoat and buttoned it up to the throat. In the overcoat and rubbers he . . . looked like a tramp just in off the B & M tracks.
My brother stared at him. “Aren’t you going to be hot?”
“I hope so,” the shooter said. “But I doubt it.”
He loaded the shotgun and turned it upside down and shut one eye and squinted down the barrel.
“How is it,” he said into the gun barrel, “that you ain’t off in college? A smart young fella like you.”
“I might go next year,” Charlie said.
“He knows more than most of the professors do already,” I said.
The shooter straightened up and gave a sardonic cough.
“Go ahead,” I said. “Ask him a question. Any question at all.”
“I just did.”
One more, from Ironweed, an exchange at once comic and touched with sorrow:
“Whatayou been up to?” Rudy asked. “You know somebody buried up there?”
“A little kid I used to know.”
“A kid? What’d he do, die young?”
“Pretty young.”
“What happened to him?”
“He fell.”
“He fell where?”
“He fell on the floor.”
“Hell, I fall on the floor about twice a day and I ain’t dead.”
“That’s what you think,” Francis said.
You can write good dialogue. Take your time. Concentrate. Ask yourself: Where’s the surprise in this speech? Where’s the tension? Make every word work for you. “All his life Hemingway labored after that ‘true sentence,’” wrote Alfred Kazin. You may not turn your life over to the labor, but let Hemingway’s devotion to his craft, a sentence at a time, instruct you. Make it your mantra while you’re writing dialogue.
LIST OF WORKS CITED:
Novels:
Conrad, Joseph: Heart of Darkness, Lord Jim, Youth, Chance
Dexter, Pete: Paris Trout
Dickens, Charles: Bleak House, A Christmas Carol
Didion, Joan: Play It As It Lays, Democracy
Faulkner, William: The Sound and the Fury, Absalom, Absalom!, Light in August, The Bear
Fitzgerald, F. Scott: The Great Gatsby
Gaines, Ernest J., A Lesson Before Dying
Harris, Mark: Bang the Drum Slowly, The Southpaw
Haruf, Kent: The Tie That Binds, Plainsong
Higgins, George V.: The Friends of Eddie Coyle
Hough, John: The Last Summer, Seen the Glory, Little Bighorn
Kennedy, William: Ironweed, The Flaming Corsage
Lee, Harper: To Kill a Mockingbird
Leonard, Elmore: Tishomingo Blues
McCarthy, Cormac: All the Pretty Horses, The Crossing, Cities of the Plain, No Country For Old Men, The Orchard Keeper
McMurtry, Larry: Lonesome Dove
Melville, Herman: Moby Dick
Morrison, Toni: Beloved, Song of Solomon
Mosher, Howard Frank: Waiting for Teddy Williams
Pearson, T. R.: A Short History of a Small Place
Sayles, John: Union Dues
Schulberg, Budd: Waterfront
Smith, Lee: Oral History, The Devil’s Dream, Fair and Tender Ladies, On Agate Hill, Family Linen
Stevenson, Robert Louis: Treasure Island
Styron, William: The Confessions of Nat Turner
Twain, Mark: Huckleberry Finn
Tyler, Anne: Back When We Were Grownups
Warren, Robert Penn: All The King’s Men
Wolfe, Tom: A Man in Full
Short Stories:
Ball, Bo: “It’s Just One Elvis”
Carver, Raymond: “A Small Good Thing”
Faulkner, William: “Wash”
Hemingway, Ernest: “The Killers,” “Fifty Grand,” “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber”
Leonard, Elmore: “When the Women Come Out to Dance,” “Chickasaw Charley Hoke”
McPherson, James Alan: “The Silver Bullet”
Mosher, Howard Frank: “Upland Game”
Parker, Dorothy: “Arrangement in Black and White”
Proulx, Annie: “People in Hell Just Want a Drink of Water,” “Pair a Spurs”
Runyon, Damon: “Breach of Promise”
Sayles, John: “Hoop”
Welty, Eudora: “Powerhouse”
INDEX
A
Absalom, Absalom! (Faulkner), 89, 91, 101, 102, 107
Adams, Nick, 43
Adverbs, 6, 123
Ahab, Captain, viii, 49, 50, 54, 57, 66, 67
Allenby, Will, 72
All The King’s Men (Warren), 70, 74, 80
All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy), 26, 40, 76, 97, 111, 121
Anne Porter, Katherine, xii
Archer, Helen, 106, 107, 116
“Arrangement in Black and White” (Parker), x, xi
B
Back When We Were Grownups (Tyler), 72
Ball, Bo, 121
Bang the Drum Slowly (Harris), 85, 86, 87, 89
Bear, The” (Faulkner), 101
Bell, Sheriff, 23
Beloved (Morrison), 126
Bleak House (Dickens), 109
Blevins, Jimmy, 26, 97, 111
Blood Pressure (Runyon), 89
Bones, Billy, 133
Border Trilogy (McCarthy), 26, 27, 111
Brando, Marlon, 60–62
“Breach of Promise” (Runyon), 88
Brennan, Jack, 113
Brown, Jackie, 6, 7, 53, 55, 56, 128
Brown, Sarah, 89
Buchanan, Daisy, ix, 54, 66, 67
Buchanan, Tom, ix
Burden, Jack, 70, 74, 75
Burrows, Abe, 88, 89
C
Canterbury Tales, The (Chaucer), 84
Cantrell, Almarine, 103
Carraway, Nick, ix
Carver, Raymond, 10, 53
Chance (Conrad), 84
Chandler, Luke, 9, 75, 76
Chandler, Thomas, 9, 32, 75, 76, 121, 123
Cheever, John, 105
“Chickasaw Charlie Hoke” (Leonard), 1
20
Christmas Carol, A (Dickens), 131
Cities of the Plain (McCarthy), 26, 62, 111, 117
Cocker, Katie, 19, 20, 22, 104
Coldfield, Rosa, 90, 91
Cold Mountain (Frazier), 10
Cole, John Grady, 26, 40, 62, 63, 76, 77, 97, 111, 112, 117
Coleridge, Samuel Taylor, 91
Compson, Benjy, 51, 52
Compson, Caddy, 51, 52
Compson, General, 101
Compson, Jason, 100
Compson, Quentin, 90–91
Confessions of Nat Turner, The (Styron), 64, 125
Conrad, Joseph, 84–85, 91, 127
Conversations, phone, 24–25
Coyle, Eddie, x, 21, 24, 53, 126, 128
Croker, Martha, 8
Crossing, The (McCarthy), 27, 44
D
Davitch, Rebecca, 72
Democracy (Didion), 78, 79
De Niro, Robert, 89
De Spain, Major, 101
Devil’s Dream, The (Smith), 19, 22, 104
Dexter, Pete, 102
Dialect, imparting, 99–107
Dialogue tags, 1–4
Dickens, Charles, viii, xii, 109, 110, 131, 132
Didion, Joan, 25, 29, 31, 33, 53, 62, 72, 78, 79, 105, 127, 132
Dillon, Billy, 78
Dodger, Artful, viii
Dunmire, Jaxon, 119
E
Emmy, Red, 103
Emotion, 3, 30, 39, 51, 55, 57, 62, 64, 67
Ewell, Bob, 58, 59, 97, 98
Exclamation points, 7–10
Exposition through dialogue, 95–97
Expression, facial, 54–59, 65
Expressive dialogue, 62
F
Facial expression, 54–59, 65
Fair and Tender Ladies (Smith), 69
Family Linen (Smith), 103
Farewell to Arms (Hemingway), 50
Faulkner, William, xi, xii, 50–53, 62, 72, 89–91, 99–102
“Fifty Grand” (Hemingway), 113
Film dialogue vs. dialogue on page, 59–64
Finch, Atticus, 47, 58, 59, 97, 98, 116, 133, 134
Finch, Jean Louise, 58
Finn, Huckleberry, 3, 50, 57, 85, 87,
Fitzgerald, F. Scott, viii, ix, 6, 7, 66, 72
Flaming Corsage, The (Kennedy), 116
Foley, Dave, 47, 53, 118
Foreign accents, 108–112
Frazier, Charles, 10, 11
Friends of Eddie Coyle, The (Higgins), x, 6, 24, 30, 47, 59, 60, 106, 118, 119, 120, 125, 127, 128, 132
G
Gaines, Ernest J., 45
Gardenia, Vincent, 89
Gatsby, Jay, ix
Godfather, The, 60
Goodwin, Felicia, 25
Goodwin, Les, 25
Gray, Patrick, 18
Great Gatsby, The (Fitzgerald), ix
Grove, Lena, 99, 100
Guthrie, Bobby, 28-29
Guthrie, Tom, 18. 19, 36-38
Guys and Dolls, 88, 89
H
Habits of real life, 21–23
Haldeman, H. R., 14–16, 18, 28, 32, 33
Handy, Ralph, 22, 104–105, 110
Harris, Mark, 85, 87–89, 132
Harrison, Joe, 70
Haruf, Kent, 10, 18, 19, 41, 81
Heart of Darkness (Conrad), 84, 89
Hemingway, Ernest, xi, xii, 6, 31, 43, 50, 62, 67, 72, 106, 113–115, 119, 132, 136
Henry, Frederic, 50
Hesitation, conveying, 28–29
Higgins, George V., vii, ix, x, 6, 24, 53, 62, 106, 120, 121, 125
Hightower, Gail, 101
Hillman, Lane, 68, 69, 95
“Hoop” (Sayles), 107
Huckleberry Finn (Twain), viii, 87, 114, 115, 124, 125, 132
I
The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown (Runyon), 89
Indirect discourse, 97–98
Interjections, halting speech without, 28–29
Interrupting dialogue, 66–81
creating pause, 70–72
physical appearance, 66–69
to stop time, 72–81
Ironweed (Kennedy), 2, 5, 116, 135
Italics in dialogue, 6–7
“It’s Just One Elvis” (Ball), 122, 126
J
James, Henry, vii
Jim (of Huckleberry Finn), viii, 124-126, 133
Jones, Alphaeus, 129
Jones, Maggie, 24, 81
Jones, Wash, 102
K
Kaufman, Charles, 96
Kazin, Alfred, 136
Kennedy, William, 2, 3, 20, 72, 116
“Killers, The” (Hemingway), 43, 45
L
Last Summer, The (Hough), 68, 93
Lee, Harper, 47, 58, 60, 98
Lehane, Dennis, 106
Lenahan, Dennis, 46, 47
Leonard, Elmore, 4–6, 7–9, 46, 73, 120
fifth rule, 7, 8
fourth rule, 6
third rule, 4, 9
Lesson Before Dying, A (Gaines), 45
Light in August (Faulkner), 99, 101
Little Bighorn (Hough), 38
Lonesome Dove (McMurtry), 59, 133
Lord, Addie Grace, 38
Lord Jim (Conrad), 84, 85, 89
Lueger, Nazi, 110
M
Mahmood, Ginger, 73, 74
Malek, Claire, 68, 93
Malloy, Charley, 61, 65
Malloy, Terry, 61, 62, 65
Maltese Falcon, The (Hammett), 59
Man in Full, A (Wolfe), 7
Marlow, Charles, 84–85, 91
Martha’s Vineyard, 75
Maxwell, William, 7, 9, 10
McCarthy, Cormac, 10, 23, 26, 27, 31, 41, 53, 59, 64, 72, 76, 77, 97, 111, 117, 128, 132
McCrae, Augustus, 133
McGovern, Mac, 117
McMurtry, Larry, 133
McNatt, Hobie, 106
McNatt, Hunter, 91–93, 106, 108
McPherson, James Alan, 129
Melville, Herman, 50, 57, 66
Moby Dick (Melville), 49, 50
Monologues, suspense in, 46–48
Moors, Patricia, 87, 88
Morrison, Toni, 1–3, 126
Mosher, Howard Frank, 78, 134
N
National Book Award, 9, 10
Newman, Paul, 62
NewYork Times, 79
Nixon, Richard M., 13–16, 18, 28, 32, 33
No Country For Old Men (McCarthy), 23, 59, 60
O
Omitting greetings and salutations, 24
On Agate Hill (Smith), 55
On the Waterfront (Schulberg), 59, 60
Oral History (Smith), 103, 104
Orchard Keeper, The (McCarthy), 10
P
“Pair a Spurs” (Proulx), 121
Paradox of good dialogue, 29–30
Parham, Billy, 27, 44, 45, 62, 112
Paris Review, The, 31
Paris Trout (Dexter), 102, 103
Parker, Dorothy, x, xi, xii
Parker, Robert B., 106
Pearson, Bruce, 87, 89
Pearson, T. R., 42
Peck, Gregory, 59
Peepgass, Ray, 8
“People in Hell Just Want a Drink of Water” (Proulx), 119
Pequod, viii, 57
Petree, Molly, 55
Phelan, Francis, 2, 20, 72, 116, 120
Phone conversations, 24–25
Physical appearance, interrupting dialogue, 66–69
Physical description, voice as, 50–54
Physiognomy, viii, 54, 55
Pickett, Raymond, 41, 42, 75
Plainsong (Haruf), 10, 18, 24, 28, 36, 81
Play It As It Lays (Didion), 25, 29, 33, 127
Poor reading, 13–16
“Powerhouse” (Welty), 66, 67
Proulx, Annie, 31, 119, 121, 128, 132
Pulitzer prize, 2, 9, 80
Purdy, Iris, 32, 122
Purdy, Lilac, 32, 121, 122
Q
Quirks, avoiding, 21–23
Quotation marks, 10–11, 84, 117
R
Radley, Boo, 59
Rawlins, Lacey, 40, 41, 76, 77, 121
Regional patois, conveying, 124–127
Repetition, 25–28
Robideaux, Victoria, 81
Robinson, Tom, 47, 58, 97, 116
Roscoe, Sanders, 41
Rowe, Ivy, 69
Runyon, Damon, 88, 89
S
Sailor off the Bremen (Shaw), 110
Sayers, Rosie, 103
Sayles, John, 91–93, 106–109
Schnell, Dutch, 89
Schulberg, Budd, 59, 61, 62
Scout see Finch, Jean Louise
Scrooge, Ebenezer, viii
Seen the Glory (Hough), 9, 32, 75, 118, 121
Self-confidence, 10
Shaw, Irwin, 110
Sherburn, Colonel, 115, 116, 124
“Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber, The” (Hemingway), xi
Short History of a Small Place, A (Pearson), 42
“Silver Bullet, The” (McPherson), 129
Silver, Long John, viii
“Small, Good Thing, A” (Carver), 53
Smith, Elisha, 9, 118, 121, 123
Smith, Hank, 19, 20
Smith, Lee, 8, 9, 19, 31, 55, 69, 91, 103, 122, 132
Smith, Maggie, 36–38
“Smoking Gun Tape”, 14
Song of Solomon (Morrison), 1, 17, 20, 21, 120
Sound and the Fury, The (Faulkner), xi, 50, 51, 100, 101, 107
Southpaw, The (Harris), 87
Stanton, Anne, 74, 75
Stark, Willie, 70, 71, 74, 75, 80
Steiger, Rod, 61
Steinbeck, John, xii
Streep, Meryl, 62
Styron, William, 64, 125, 126
Sun Also Rises, The (Hemingway), xi
Suspense in monologues, 46–48
Sutpen, Henry, 90
Sutpen, Thomas, 102
Swerling, Jo, 88, 89
T
Talking verbs, 4–6
“Ten Rules of Writing”, 4
Tension, 35–48
definitions of, 35
high, 43–46
Tics, avoiding, 21–23
Tie That Binds, The (Haruf), 10, 41
Tishomingo Blues (Leonard), 46
To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee), 47, 58–60
Treasure Island (Stevenson), viii, 133
Trotwood, Betsey, viii
Turner, Nat, 64, 125
Twain, Mark, 4, 57, 58, 87, 114, 115, 116, 125, 126, 132
Tyler, Anne, 8, 9, 31, 72, 74, 75, 105
U
Union Dues (Sayles), 91, 106, 108, 109
“Upland Game” (Mosher), 134
V
Verbs
adverbs, 6
talking, 4–6
Vernacular, using, 112–124
Victor, Harry, 79
Victor, Inez, 78, 79
Voice-activated tape recorders, 13