Heartbreak, Tennessee

by Ruby Laska

  Again, the wave of the hand, a gesture that in Pete’s vocabulary seemed to make do for a lot of unspoken statements.

  “I thought we’d have us a chat.”

  Amber waited. Here it would come, the welcome—however awkward—into the family. For a moment Amber allowed herself to savor her secret hopes, hopes she’d never reveal, not even to Mac. Would Pete invite her to call him Dad? Had Fran had a change of heart, was she even now planning to invite Amber over, for tea, to meet her friends, to plan a wedding shower?

  But Pete was inscrutable. “You’ve been seeing my boy for a while now,” he said, and from his tone it wasn’t clear if it was an accusation or merely a statement of fact. “In fact he tells me he asked you to marry him.”

  “Yes, sir.” Amber swallowed, hard, and shuffled her feet on the worn linoleum.

  A long moment passed, while Pete unhurriedly lit another cigarette with a plastic lighter, his nicotine-stained fingers cupped around it while he puffed.

  “You’re to tell him no.”

  The air in the room suddenly seemed thin. Amber tried to register what Pete had said.

  “What—”

  “I said, tell him no. You heard me. You’ll not marry my boy.”

  “But—”

  Pete held up a hand, silencing her, while with the other he shoved the pack of cigarettes back into his shirt pocket.

  “It ain’t entirely my idea, if it makes you feel any better,” he said, tossing his lighter back into his desk drawer and taking a deep draw on the cigarette, the end glowing an angry red. “Mac’s old lady made it clear she don’t care for the idea. Y’see—” He looked at her through slitted eyes, crafty now, cunning, and Amber’s blood ran cold. “No offense, but my wife’s got it in her head that you’re trash. You might say she thinks you’re nothin’ but a nice-lookin’ scrap of a bastard child.”

  As the words sliced through her, Amber could not bear to hear any more. A tight coil of anger formed in her gut, and her blood pumped through her veins.

  “I’m not trash,” was all she could say. Her indignation pushed against fear, and she felt small and insignificant in her chair.

  “Yeah?” Pete allowed himself an ironic smile, his face twisting almost grotesquely. “Don’t know as how we can settle that one here. But it doesn’t really matter, now does it? You’re still illegitimate. Your daddy was a traveling salesman.”

  “I have a good name,” Amber said. “My mother’s name. She’s known in town.”

  “Can’t disagree with that one,” Pete said, chuckling mirthlessly. “No siree. Everyone loves Nadine DeWitt, now, don’t they? Still, I’m going to tell you just this one time, Missy, you stay away from my son. And you’re going to make damn sure you do.”

  “I won’t.” Amber was surprised at the defiance in her voice. Again her hand went to the ring suspended on the fine chain, twisting it for support. For comfort. “I love Mac. He loves me. I know he’d sacrifice everything for me if he had to. You can’t keep us apart.”

  “No, eh?” The amusement on Pete’s face was worse than his usual expressionless demeanor—much worse. It was so unfamiliar, so out of character—and somehow, so cruel. “You may have a point about my boy. He’s whipped, sure enough. Bought you that ring, did he? Yeah, that’s what got Fran going this time, that damn ring. Well, anyway. I got something to show you.”

  Not taking his eyes from her face, Pete opened a drawer in his desk and drew out a small object, shoving it across the desk at her.

  A barrette, small, silver filigree. Amber knew it well. She’d given a pair of them to her mother last Christmas.

  “Where’d you get that?” she demanded, uncomprehending.

  “Your mama,” Pete said. “She really didn’t want you to find out, but I just don’t see how it can be helped. See—” he leaned over the desk and whispered conspiratorially. “Me and her, we got a thing.”

  A thing. Even as understanding chilled her, Amber recoiled at the word.

  Pete was saying that he was having an affair with her mother.

  “Yeah, you might say me and her are having an anniversary of her own,” he went on, his eyes boring into her face. “We been together for coming up on ten years now. If you know what I mean.”

  “You’re lying,” Amber said, her voice chilled.

  “Yeah? Let me ask you something, doll face. Who do you think pays the bills over at your house? Who do you think paid for your piano lessons, your fancy church dresses? Who paid to fix your mama’s teeth, or put a new clutch in that car of hers? Huh? You think she can afford that taking in sewing?”

  Dumbfounded, Amber shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Yeah,” Pete said, his voice suddenly grim. “Yeah, I guess I’m an ugly old cuss, huh? Not good enough for your mom? Well, let me tell you something, honey. Time was I could turn a few heads myself. You were just a little girl then. Your mama and I kept running into each other at church—back when I was still a church-going man. We’d get to talking sometimes. Oh, I knew she didn’t care much for me. But she didn’t have no one to talk to, and after a while she used to pour her heart out, how it was killin’ her she couldn’t afford any nice things for her little girl.”

  He rose out of his chair, and stared out the window for a minute, into the night. “You’d be amazed what happens when two desperate people get together,” he said gruffly.

  “See, I didn’t exactly tell you the truth there a while ago,” he added, whirling around. “I don’t much give a damn what my wife has to say about the two of you. It’s your mama. She’s threatening to stop seeing me, now things have got so serious between you and my boy. She suddenly seems to think it ain’t right.”

  He took two steps to stand above her, close enough that Amber could smell the whiskey on his breath.

  “Funny, huh? I was good enough for her when there was something she wanted. Hell, maybe she figures she can do better now. Maybe she’s right. But I don’t plan on letting her find out. If she leaves me, I’ll make sure that both of you regret it for the rest of your lives.”

  He stopped, letting the weight of his words sink in, and leaned even closer. “I’ll ruin her,” he whispered inches from her ear. “I’ll never give her another cent, and I’ll fix it so nobody else does either. You understanding me?”

  Amber struggled to get air into her lungs, her eyes wide with shock and horror. She nodded dumbly, his words sinking into her like bullets.

  “Don’t see him again,” he reiterated. “That’s the bottom line. It might be tough for a while, but he’ll get over you. You might think what you got is special. But trust me, he’ll get over you quick enough.

  “In a way it’s a shame,” he added, leaning down to place a nicotine-stained, work-hardened hand on her shoulder. “You’re a damn fine-looking woman. Just like your mama.”

  The sun was sinking into the trees at the edge of the shore when Amber finished her story. She hadn’t looked at him while she spoke, her voice soft, breaking only once or twice as she relayed the events of that night.

  Listening, Mac felt the present slip away. The beautiful afternoon, the rocking of the boat were forgotten as Amber spoke. His hands gripped the wooden seat of the boat tighter and tighter, and he leaned forward, absorbing her every word even as he wanted to cry out in anguish.

  It was as though he had gone back in time, and was watching everything take place as an observer, powerless to stop it. She hadn’t forgotten anything. Every detail, the watery yellow light of the filthy office, the smells of whiskey and sweat and oil, the feel of Pete’s fingers digging into her flesh—came to life in her words.

  She didn’t spare Mac anything. Not this time. All those years ago, she’d tried to tell him without hurting him more than she had to, and instead he had sent her away, sentencing her to a punishment she’d never earned.

  When she was finished, she folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. Mac sought his voice, managed only a hoarse whisper.
“God forgive me,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. Any of it. And I didn’t tell you this today to hurt you,” she added, eyes darting up. “I—I never want to take away from what was good in Pete.”

  “That son of a bitch,” Mac said, hands clenched tight. He longed to crash his fists into the side of the boat to somehow relieve the tension and anger building inside. “I wonder if he ever had any idea how many lives he ruined. When I think about your mother—”

  Amber sighed. “You know, I think she once loved him. At the start, anyway, when she thought there might be a life for them together, some day. But after everything happened...I don’t think she could live with herself after I left. She must have known I would never leave you, leave her unless something terrible had happened.”

  Mac shook his head slowly. “It seems so—unjust, somehow, that no one will ever know what she was thinking.”

  “I’ve accepted that. In my heart I believe my mother just ran out of reasons to keep trying, and found peace the only way she knew how.” Amber placed a hand on Mac’s forearm. Her touch steadied him, took some of the force out of his anger. “You had to know the truth,” she said. “And now you have to let it go, as I have.”

  “You told me that he threatened you. I can’t—I can’t forgive myself for not taking you more seriously.”

  “There’s no way that you could have known.”

  “I just always thought it was because of my mother. That she put him up to it.”

  “I let you think that, don’t you see?” Her hand on his arm gripped tighter. “I couldn’t bear to tell you about...Pete, and I thought maybe there was a chance you’d come with me anyway.”

  “It should have been enough.” Regret and shame ripped through him. “You asked. That should have been enough. I just wasn’t strong enough.”

  “You were young,” Amber said softly. “We both were. Barely adults, and I asked you to throw everything away to be with me. I asked you to run away, but I didn’t tell you the whole story. I wasn’t fair to you.”

  “It would have been a small price to pay,” Mac said bitterly. “I lost you, lost everything, just so he could—”

  “He was desperate,” Amber said. “It doesn’t excuse him, but—I think in his own way he was driven by love. I think he couldn’t bear to imagine life without my mother.”

  Mac said nothing for a moment, remembering the woman who had always been so kind to him.

  “You never told her?” he finally asked.

  “No,” Amber said softly. “I wasn’t really thinking that night. I wrote her a note, just told her I loved her. I took all my money and walked to the bus station, and waited until five in the morning for the bus to Nashville. When that bus pulled out of town, the sun was on its way up, and I just kept trying to forget that I was leaving you and Mama behind. I found an empty seat and fell asleep leaning up on my suitcase. And when I woke up in the middle of nowhere, I realized that there was no turning back.

  “I did call Mama a few times,” Amber added. “I missed her so much, it hurt. She was always so happy to hear from me, but I felt so ashamed, and we never talked about what had happened. She just begged me to come home, and I kept promising to come for a visit, but I was waiting until—”

  Her voice broke. “If I could change one thing,” she said, “I wish I’d seen my mama again, just one more time. But I wanted to wait until I’d made something of myself, until I wasn’t living in a filthy basement room with just a hot plate, making a few dollars an hour scrubbing toilets. And I wanted to wait until the thought of you didn’t leave me feeling like I wanted to die. Thing was, that time never seemed to come.”

  Mac reached for her, cupping her face in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

  “I would give anything to change what happened,” he said, “but I can’t. And I don’t deserve to ask this of you, but I’m going to ask anyway, since my life seems not to be worth a damn thing without you in it.”

  Amber’s dark lashes fluttered against his thumb, and a tremor went through him. “Be with me, Amber, please. I love you, and even though I can’t figure out why, I think you still love me.”

  He knelt down before her in the boat, the motion sending them rocking gently in a circle, and clasped her hands in his. His eyes sought hers, and finding strength and love in their depths, he found the words he needed.

  “Marry me, Amber. I’ll go anywhere, do anything to be with you. I’ll move to Nashville if you like. I can—”

  “Yes,” Amber said, interrupting him. “Yes.”

  It took a minute, but as the words sank in, his heart finally resumed beating. Mac wrapped his arms around Amber tightly and nearly capsized the boat, their laughter and tears ringing out the good news as night began to fall on the lake.

  EPILOG

  “Charlene, what in heaven’s name are you doing here already?” Amber stopped her nervous pacing as her friend strode over and gave her a hug. “The ceremony’s not for another hour!”

  Charlene shrugged, setting a paper bag down on the stone bench. “I had a feeling you’d forget to eat, so I had Lucille fix us a few of her double chocolate donuts. And I brought you a decaf, too.”

  Amber made a face, rubbing her stomach gingerly. “I know I should eat something, but somehow the thought of a donut isn’t doing much for me.”

  “Trust me,” Charlene replied cheerfully, “donuts are a certain cure for morning sickness. It always worked for me.”

  “Did someone say donuts?”

  Amber looked in the direction of the speaker, shielding her eyes against the sun that was making its way up into the morning sky. Sheryn was making her way carefully up the courthouse steps, holding the hand rail to maintain her balance in four-inch heels.

  “Well I declare, Sheryn, you look positively tasteful today,” Amber teased.

  Sheryn looked down at her navy linen suit and frowned. “Well, it’s not every day my best friend gets crowned mayor. I thought I ought to dress conservatively for the occasion.”

  “Trust me, there’s no crown involved,” Amber said. “Just a lot of hard work, from what Mac tells me.”

  “Hey, isn’t that nepotism, or something?” Sheryn asked, helping herself to a donut. “You getting your husband’s old job?”

  “Well, remember, they weren’t quite married yet when she was elected,” Charlene said.

  “Speaking of dates, and timing, and so forth,” Sheryn said, a crafty look settling into her pretty features. “When exactly is my God-baby due?”

  Amber sighed and rolled her eyes. “The little one’s expected in November. It’s a honeymoon baby, okay? Honestly, you’re terrible.”

  “Yeah, there must be something in the air out on Boone Lake,” Charlene said. “I still can’t believe old Cheapskate didn’t take you to Paris or something.”

  “Staying here was fine with me,” Amber said softly. “To be honest, I just wasn’t ready to leave after finally settling in back here for good.”

  “Yeah, that’s all fine and good for you,” Sheryn grumbled. “But half of Nashville had to come all the way out here for the wedding. I think they must have booked up every hotel room within fifty miles, and you still can’t get a bottle of mineral water or a decent pastrami sandwich anywhere. I don’t know how you stand it. And now here I am again. I swear, I think I could make this trip blindfolded.”

  “I hope not,” Amber said in mock horror. “‘Cause then you’d miss all those Dairy Queens on the way.”

  Sheryn gave her an exasperated look. “Amber, I do believe that first trip to Heartbreak was the biggest mistake I ever made. Why, if I’d known I’d lose you to a local yokel, and see my first God-daughter raised in a backwater little speck on the map—”

  “Now just who are you calling a speck on the map?” Charlene demanded good-naturedly.

  “And what’s this about a God-daughter?” Amber added. “You know it’s too early to tell if the baby will be a boy or a girl.”


  “Well, of course it’s a girl,” Sheryn said impatiently. “Since I’ve already bought her practically an entire wardrobe. Here, open this.”

  Amber accepted the pretty box and pulled away the wrappings and pastel tissue. “Oh, it’s simply gorgeous,” she breathed. Nestled inside was a beautiful white lace christening gown.

  “I had them use the lace from your wedding veil,” Sheryn said, clearly pleased with herself.

  “Oh, Sheryn, I love it,” Amber said, replacing the wrappings carefully.

  “You ladies look lovely!” a voice boomed. Mac, flanked by Gray and Charlene’s husband Ed, were struggling to carry a long folding table up the steps.

  “What on earth is that?” Sheryn demanded, ignoring her husband’s greeting.

  “Got to feed folks if they’re going to come out at nine o’clock on a Saturday morning,” Ed called cheerfully.

  “I didn’t want to spoil the surprise,” Charlene said, blushing. “Ed and I and a bunch of us are going to serve breakfast after the ceremony.”

  Overwhelmed by the generosity of her friends, Amber gave each a peck on the cheek. “I can’t believe all you’ve done for me.”

  She’d felt nervous earlier in the morning, even though her speech was well-rehearsed. After all, Mac had predicted that nearly everyone would turn out for the event. “Hell, just about every soul in town showed up when I was sworn in,” he’d said. “And I’m not one tenth as pretty as you.”

  Now, with her friends around her, she felt much better. The day promised to be beautiful, and she was spending it with the people she loved.

  As the men set the table down and joined them, she accepted a kiss from her husband.

  “You look pretty wonderful in a suit and tie,” she said.

  “Hey, you’ve seen this old thing before,” Mac said, giving the tie a tug.

  “Yes, once—at our wedding.”

  “Well, it brought us luck then, didn’t it?” he said, bending to steal a second kiss below her earlobe. “Mmmm,” he added. “Got plans for later on?”

  Amber swatted him away. “Hey, don’t forget, this is the mayor you’re messing with.”