Kate’s Song

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  Another paramedic came to Kate and the children sitting on the grass. After rifling through his bag, he put on some latex gloves and gently sponged the blood from Sadie’s nose and face with a damp gauze pad. He examined her carefully and decided she wasn’t seriously injured before stowing his supplies and walking away.

  A police officer helped Mary stand and led her to a waiting ambulance.

  “Kate, can you take care of the kinner?” Mary said.

  Kate nudged Sadie off her lap and slowly stood with the baby tightly in her arms. Grabbing Sadie’s hand, she made her way to the ambulance.

  “I will take them home with me.”

  The splinted arm hung helplessly at Mary’s side, but she caressed Sadie’s cheek with her good hand. “Be good for Kate and Mammi. I will be home soon.”

  Nathaniel and another paramedic guided Elmer to the ambulance. With concern, Kate hugged Elmer and kissed him on the cheek before he sluggishly climbed inside and sat with his head in his hands.

  “I will go with them to the hospital,” Nathaniel said. “Elmer needs stitches, and they think he has a concussion.”

  “Oh, thank you,” Kate said. “I will send Dat as soon as I get home.”

  “The police will right the buggy and pull it to my yard to fix later,” Nathaniel said. “Mamm will take the horse to our barn until your dat can pick it up.”

  He saw that Mary and Elmer were both comfortably settled in the ambulance before he turned to Kate. “They will be all right, I promise.”

  Nodding, she slipped her hand into his and squeezed tightly. “I’m glad you are going with them.” Then she added, “Tomorrow, after services, I must see you.”

  Anticipation flitted across his face before he climbed into the ambulance with Kate’s two siblings. “The day is yours,” he said. “All yours.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Even from her bedroom at the back of the house, Kate could hear the car slowly driving up the driveway. The gravel crackled noisily beneath the tires, heralding the arrival of an automobile rather than a buggy.

  Sluggishly she rolled out of bed, her body throbbing with the fresh ache of the accident. Her family would not be back in time from the hospital to make it to gmay, and Kate had stayed home to rest, fearing that if she attended church, she would snooze through the entire service. She felt physically miserable.

  But her heart soared in delirious happiness, and when she shared her good news with Nathaniel, his joy would double hers. She would not be able to keep herself from floating off the ground.

  Early this morning, Mary had gone home with a glossy white cast up to her elbow. Moses fetched the children from Kate’s house, and then a friend drove Mamma, Dat, and both younger brothers to the hospital to be with Elmer. They wouldn’t even think of Kate accompanying them after her ordeal of the day before. She’d fallen asleep just before sunrise.

  Elmer got seventeen stitches and an overnight stay in the hospital for observation. The doctor wanted to be cautious about the head injury, Moses had told them.

  Kate sighed. The trip to the emergency room alone would keep the family awash in hospital bills for months. She feared they would have to rely on the church emergency fund for some of the cost. But at least Elmer and Mary were going to be fine.

  Being careful of her sore shoulder, Kate slipped her emerald-green dress over her head and quickly smoothed her hair under her kapp. She didn’t bother with shoes. Whoever her visitor, he would have to endure Kate with bare feet. She shuffled down the stairs and to the front door, aching from head to toe and fingertip to fingertip. Better take some Tylenol before going back to bed.

  Kate opened the door wide enough to peek her head out. Buggies already rolled down the road on their way to gmayna. A familiar rusted red truck sat in front of her house, its driver leaning against the hood with his arms folded across his chest, just waiting for Kate to emerge from her house. He caught sight of her when the door creaked, and he flashed his dazzling white teeth in her direction.

  “Carlos!” she squealed. Disregarding her achy body, Kate half tiptoed, half ran to Maria’s brother, who opened his arms to receive her. She stopped short of touching him. Hugging an unmarried Englischer was decidedly improper for an Amish girl.

  He threw his arms around her, lifted her off the ground, and twirled her in a circle. Laughing, he set her back on her feet, held her at arm’s length, and studied her closely. “You didn’t think I would let you off the hook for a hug just because you are dressed like that, did you?”

  Kate rolled her eyes but let the joy at seeing him show on her face.

  “You look like a pilgrim from my fifth-grade Thanksgiving pageant,” he said.

  “A pilgrim?”

  “Just giving you a compliment. You look pretty no matter what you wear.”

  “Cum, cum to the house. I will make you some coffee.”

  “We don’t have time.” He wrapped his hand around her elbow as if to guide her somewhere. “I’ve come to take you to Milwaukee.”

  “Milwaukee? Carlos, I am not ready to go back.” Kate shook her head and shrugged his hand from her elbow. “I am not planning on going back at all, truth be told.”

  Carlos didn’t seem to hear her. “Jared’s dead.”

  Kate held her breath and closed her eyes. In that moment, the avalanche of remorse almost buried her alive.

  I killed Jared Adams. Oh, Nathaniel, I should have told you. What will you think of me now? Why has God done this?

  Kate stared at Maria’s brother until she composed herself enough to speak. “When?”

  “Last week.”

  “How is Maria?”

  Carlos took Kate’s hand in both of his. He pressed the back of her hand with his thumb. “She needs you.”

  Kate swallowed hard.

  As the Lord wills.

  “Be still, and know that I am God.”

  Be still.

  Kate drew her breath in spasms, as if she had just finished sobbing for an hour. “Send Maria my love, but I cannot go with you.”

  “But you’ve got to.”

  “God wants us to live the lives He has granted us. I belong here. The people I love are here. The life I want to live is here.”

  “Jared’s parents want Alex. Twice they’ve tried to take him from the day care—so far unsuccessfully, but if they find someone willing to hand him over, Maria may never get him back.”

  “How can they do that?”

  “Maria is so nervous they’re going to snatch Alex, she refuses to take him back to day care. Without day care, she can’t work, and if she loses her job it will be harder to keep custody. Can’t you come take care of Alex? For a few weeks until the custody hearing?”

  “Hearing?”

  “Jared’s mother is fighting for custody of Alex. We need you to testify. Your testimony could save him.”

  Kate thought of Maria, struggling desperately, feeling alone and forsaken. How could Kate turn her back on a friend? “For just a few weeks?”

  “The hearing is September first. Four weeks away.”

  Kate glanced up as the Yutzy family trudged down the road to church. Barbara Yutzy waved and stared at Kate and her visitor before fixing her eyes to the ground and quickening her pace. Several other families passed the house, some in buggies, others on foot.

  Kate took a deep breath and made her decision. “I will come with you, Carlos.”

  Carlos smiled and gave Kate a cursory hug. “Good girl. Get packed. We need to leave in ten minutes.”

  “Ten minutes? Nae, my parents need to know where I am going. We cannot leave until they come home. And Elmer. I cannot leave without seeing Elmer.”

  Carlos glanced at his watch. “I can’t spare the time. I have to be back to work at noon, and that barely gives us enough leeway as it is.”

  “Can you come back for me later in the week?”

  “Don’t you understand? Maria won’t send Alex back to that day care, and we both have to work tomorrow morning. We
need you now.”

  Kate groaned in frustration. “I cannot just leave.”

  “Write them a note.”

  Kate stood in her yard, feeling control slip from her grasp.

  “Come on, Kate.”

  Surrendering to her circumstances, Kate ran to the house. The need was urgent. She would care for Alex until the hearing, and then her testimony could help Maria keep her baby.

  Hurriedly, Kate packed her other dress and kapp into her small bag. She hesitated when she caught sight of the jeans and T-shirt at the bottom of her drawer. Should she take the Englisch clothes, just in case? Shaking her head, she stuffed them into her bag. She could bequeath them to Maria on September first.

  Sitting at the kitchen table, she wrote two letters—one to her parents and a longer one to Nathaniel.

  “Nathaniel, I must go back to Milwaukee for a few weeks. Maria is fighting for her child, and I must help her. I want to tell you everything, all I have felt in the last twenty-four hours, all I feel in my heart for you. Please be patient. I promise to return. And I will return for good.”

  She had the courage to write her deepest assurances.

  “I love you, Nathaniel. I love you forever.”

  She couldn’t bring herself to tell him Jared was dead. That revelation required a face-to-face interview. She could only hope he would see it in his heart to forgive her and still want her for his wife. She buried such notions deep into her heart. How could she bear the thought of anything else?

  Kate set her envelopes, along with Maria’s address, carefully on the table in plain sight, so that Mamma would see them first thing when she walked through the door.

  Carlos leaned against his truck as if he hadn’t budged from the spot since his arrival. Kate handed him her bag, and he grinned. “You are the most low-maintenance girl I’ve ever met.” He tossed the bag into the cab of his truck and then put his arm around her. “Did you pack anything in that bag?”

  A movement to her right caught Kate’s attention. Aaron stood with both hands on his porch railing, scrutinizing Kate and the dark stranger by her side.

  “Aaron!” Kate leaped up his porch steps, more eager than she had ever been to talk to her brother. “You are not at church.”

  “Three boys are sick,” he said, not taking his eyes from Carlos.

  “Aaron, please listen. I must go back to Milwaukee.”

  “Who is that man? You should not be alone with him.”

  Kate turned her head to glance at Carlos. “He is Maria’s brother. Aaron, look at me. Maria’s boyfriend, Jared, is dead. Tell the family I am sorry to leave like this. Be sure to tell them I am sorry.” Unbidden tears fell. “Tell Nathaniel I have made my choice. Aaron, are you listening? Tell him I have made my choice and will be back in four weeks.” Her frustration rose as Aaron kept his attention riveted on Carlos. “I left two notes on the table. Please make sure Mamma and Nathaniel get them. I’ll be back soon. Please see that they get the notes.”

  Aaron stroked his beard. “He was hugging you.”

  “He cannot help himself.”

  Aaron did not change his expression.

  Kate sighed in exasperation. “Please make sure they see my letters.”

  He persisted in silence, and she slowly marched down the steps and got in the truck. She didn’t need to depend on Aaron to deliver the notes. Mamma would see them without his interference.

  She kept her eyes glued to her house as Carlos backed down the driveway. The three apple trees in the front yard were already laden with small green fruit. By the time they were ready to pick, she would be home. Home for harvest. A cold, unexpected chill trickled down her spine. Lord willing, home for good.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nathaniel guided his buggy up Weavers’ lane after gmay. Kate had not been in church today. He hadn’t expected to see her. After her ordeal yesterday, she deserved to stay in bed for a full week.

  He passed the birdhouse that stood securely on a post on the fence separating Weavers’ yard from the lane. He couldn’t help smiling. She had accepted his gift. Now he hoped she would accept his heart.

  The horse slowed in the gravel. The pace sorely tested Nathaniel’s patience. Service had lasted for an eternity, and he shouldn’t have to wait one more minute to see her. Something had happened to Kate yesterday afternoon. Her shining countenance amid the commotion of the accident had etched itself in his memory. Whatever had taken place in those few minutes had transformed her.

  “After services, I must see you.” The light in her face told him it was good news. His heart pumped wildly, unable to restrain his galloping hope. He had driven Mamm and Dat home from church with indecent speed.

  Moses had come to fetch Mary last night from the hospital, and Nathaniel had stayed with Elmer until the Weavers came for him early this morning. The taxi brought him home in time to get Dat up for gmay. Nathaniel felt the fatigue clear through to his bones, but mere exhaustion would not have kept him from seeing Kate today. What amount of needed sleep could compare to the elation he knew every time he laid eyes on her?

  Finally reaching the end of the lane, he secured the reins and leaped from his seat. He strode purposefully across the yard, reaching the front door in record speed. Not caring who he awoke with his enthusiasm, he knocked loudly enough to rouse the entire household.

  “Cum reu,” he heard Aaron call.

  Opening the door wide, he came face-to-face with Kate’s parents and Aaron in the middle of the kitchen. His high spirits crashed to the floor. Tears streamed down Emma’s face. Solomon, slumped over like an old man, had his arm around his wife, his mouth twisted into a wretched grimace.

  Nathaniel caught his breath. “Is it Elmer?”

  Solomon looked at Nathaniel as if seeing him for the first time. “Nae, Elmer is resting. We just brought him home. The doctor said he will be all right.”

  Kate’s parents stared at Nathaniel, and deep sadness reflected in their eyes.

  “Sit down, Nathaniel,” Emma said, motioning to a chair at the table.

  An emptiness rushed into his lungs, and Nathaniel felt as if he were going to be sick. “Has something happened to Kate?”

  Emma and Solomon looked to Aaron, who pulled a chair from the table and sat. His parents followed suit.

  “Sit, Nathaniel,” said Emma. “You need to sit.”

  Nathaniel slowly pulled a chair from the table, never letting his eyes stray from Aaron’s tortured face. Why had he ever believed that Aaron didn’t care for his sister?

  “A man came for her this morning,” Aaron said.

  “What man?” Nathaniel stared in confusion at Aaron. “Where did they go?”

  “She put her travel bag in his truck, and they drove away.”

  Nathaniel’s mouth went dry. “I don’t understand. Who was this man?”

  Aaron rested his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together. “I am sorry, Nathaniel. I called to her, chastised her for being alone with an Englischer. But you know how she is. Will she ever listen to my counsel?”

  Nathaniel leaned forward. “What did she say?”

  Emma sniffed and wiped her nose with her hanky. Solomon grasped her hand and held on like a lifeline.

  “I think she did not expect anyone to see her make her escape,” Aaron said. “She started to cry, saying ‘I’m sorry. Tell everyone I’m sorry.’ She kept saying that. She said, ‘Tell Nathaniel I have made my choice, and I am going to Milwaukee.’”

  Aching for a denial, Nathaniel stared at Aaron in disbelief. Every muscle in his body pulled so taut he thought he might snap. “But are you sure? Why didn’t she tell me herself?”

  Aaron leaned back and folded his arms. “I suppose she did not have the courage. Or maybe she thought it would be easier for you. That you would not want to shame yourself in front of her.”

  Nathaniel buried his face in his hands, and when he looked up, the faces around him were a blur of color and line. So, that was it? After all the months of waitin
g and dreaming, agonizing and hoping, she had left him? He was completely incapable of wrapping his mind around that horrible thought. The Weavers’ kitchen tilted violently, and Nathaniel clutched the table for support.

  Aaron reached over and patted his arm. “It is better this way. For all of us. Kate’s worldly ways shamed our family. Who knows how many young people she influenced with her bad example? It is better she is away. It is better she stay away.”

  Nathaniel couldn’t focus, not even to protest the injustice of Aaron’s words. He couldn’t form any rational thought but one.

  Escape.

  I’ve got to get away from this place.

  Not knowing how he was able to stand, he walked to the front door and turned the handle. With pain saturating his very soul, he exploded out of the house, shoved himself into his buggy, and drove far away.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Maria, this fridge is an outrage,” Kate said. “How do you survive on a half gallon of milk and a jar of pickles?”

  “I’ve been spending a lot of time at Carlos’s apartment. Jared’s mother knows where I live. Carlos is a bachelor. We go out for fast food a lot.”

  Kate clicked her tongue in reprimand. “And what does the baby eat?”

  Maria pointed to her chubby son, sitting in his high chair and eating Cheerios from the tray. “Does he look like he’s malnourished?”

  Grinning, Kate tousled Alex’s hair. “He passes my inspection.”

  Maria spread her arms and squeezed Kate tight. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was a nervous wreck without you. Jared’s mother has gone to the day care twice to try to take Alex away.” Her whole body trembled.

  “What do you know about the hearing?” Kate said.

  “My lawyer says no judge in the world is going to take a baby away from his mother unless the mother is unfit. That’s why I need you to testify.”

  “Jah, of course.”

  Maria lifted Alex from his high chair, and she and Kate sat on the sofa in the small space next to the kitchen that passed for a living room.

  “I’m frightened,” she said, clutching Alex to her heart.