Not So Charming: A Hate to Lovers Romance (Carlisle Cellars Book 1)
Page 20
I hop in her car with nothing but the clothes I’m wearing and bounce in the seat as she drives toward the winery. My mind is running through every worst-case scenario. When I reach for my phone to call Miles, I realize I left it at home. Damn it.
The heel of my hand connects with the dashboard, and my mom calls out my name, but it falls on deaf ears.
“Drive faster,” I demand roughly.
“If you want us to get there in one piece, let me drive at my speed.” She white-knuckles the steering wheel.
One piece? I’m not complete right now. I’m shattered into a million pieces, and I don’t think my pieces will ever fit together again. I bring my knees to my chest and bury my head, crying into them. I didn’t even bother to change from the pajama shorts and tank I threw on when I got home last night.
If something happens to Miles, I’ll never forgive myself. I could’ve been at work, protected him, made sure we both got out. If he didn’t… I can’t think about that now.
“Oh, my God,” my mom gasps as she slows the car.
I slowly lift my head and scream. Before she can park, I pull the door open and run out. Wild flames flicker in the sky, fiery and angry. The entire side of the restaurant and tasting room is up in flames. The structure is illuminated in red and orange despite the amount of water falling on it through the various hoses the firefighters are using.
I race toward the group of people that have gathered and look for Miles. I call out his name, but no one answers, no one talks to me. It’s as if I’m mute, a ghost crying out in pain. I push through the people, getting closer to the building, but I’m stopped with a heavy hand and the barriers that have been set up.
“Sorry, ma’am, you can’t cross.” A firefighter tells me.
“I work here… I…” My head whips around, looking for a familiar face. All I see are scared, strange faces. Probably customers who were eating or drinking wine, thinking they were going to enjoy a nice afternoon. Some are covered in blankets while others talk amongst each other, reliving the events that led to this.
News anchors are around, recording this as if it were a show for the world to see. I want to yank the cameras from them and throw them into the fire. It wouldn’t make a difference, though.
“June!” I turn and see my mom rushing toward me. “You can’t…” I spot Mrs. Carlisle behind her. She looks devastated, her face blotchy. Her usually confident and joyful stance is gone, and another sob moves through me.
“Where is he?” I plea through tears.
She shakes her head and cries into her hands.
“No.” I shake my head. “No.” I turn around and look at the firefighter who spoke to me.
“You have to save him.” I slam a fist into his chest. “You need to get Miles out of there. For fuck’s sake, how long does it take for water to stop a fire?” I begin yelling at him, blaming him for not doing his job.
“You have to,” I cry out. “I never got a chance to tell him I love him, too.” I fall onto my knees, the asphalt breaking into my skin, but that doesn’t matter if Miles is dead. Nothing matters. Nothing fucking matters if I lose him.
I sob into my palms, my body slumping on the ground. The pungent smell of smoke and fire swirl around us in the stagnant heat. The commotion around me turns into a dull sound as my soul pours out of me in regret, fear, and devastation.
Strong arms pick me up from the ground, but I continue to cry and murmur to myself.
“They’re looking for him.” Mr. Carlisle.
I blink my eyes open and look at him with trembling lips. “Will they find him dead?” I cry out again, sobbing into his chest. It’s his son. It’s not fair for me to be this way and ask him questions that will bring him pain.
“I hope not,” is all he says. He sounds as defeated as I feel.
“June.” My mom reaches out to me. Mr. Carlisle sets me down and tells everyone to let me be. Then, he walks away. A lot of shouting and demands get thrown around as I stare at the fire in a daze.
If I had opened the door, maybe Miles would’ve stayed in my house talking, and he wouldn’t have been here. Guilt burns me hotter than the fire, as do the pain and sorrow and remorse. All of it fills me from the inside out until I explode in another scream. My mom hugs me, but I shake my head. No amount of comfort will help.
“Chloe!” Mrs. Carlisle screams from near us, and my head snaps up. I see a firefighter carrying her small limp body.
“No,” I whisper. My mom cries with me, shaking her head.
“Take her. Fast.” Someone demands an ambulance as they place an oxygen mask over her face, and Brett climbs in. He looks destroyed. I hadn’t seen him, and I didn’t even think about the girls. I assumed they were with their grandmother at the estate.
My mom cries next to me. I drop my chin to my chest and pray. I pray Chloe survives with minimal injuries. I pray Charlie is already safe, and I pray that Miles appears from the smoke, alive and well.
“Sarah, go with Brett,” Mr. Carlisle calls out.
“But…” She looks toward where the ambulance disappeared and at the fire.
“Go. I’m here for Miles.”
She nods silently and runs to the car, driving away.
“June,” a small voice calls. I look around and find Charlie sitting in the open door of a fire truck.
I stand on wobbly legs and go to her, walking like a zombie.
“You’re here.” I sigh in relief. “How are you?”
Her body trembles. “It’s so scary.” They sat her away from the fire, which I assume was purposeful.
“I know, sweetie,” I nod.
“Is my sister gonna die? Is she gonna go to heaven with Mommy?” Her eyes water, and it takes everything in me not to break down.
I shake my head through the tears. I can’t make promises that I can’t keep. I can’t give her bullshit words that could fall flat.
“I don’t know, Charlie. I know that she’s in good hands, and the doctors are going to take care of her.”
She nods numbly, silently.
“We were in the tasting room with Uncle Miles. Chloe always liked to walk around when we were there. I dunno where she was, but Carla grabbed me when the fire started and took me outside. I think Uncle Miles was looking for Chloe. Is he gonna die, too?” Her body shakes with cries.
“I hope not.” I shake my head. “I really, really hope he doesn’t.” I hug her to my side, consoling her, keeping her safe.
“He’s your prince, so if you kiss him, he’ll wake up, right?” Her tear-soaked eyes look up to mine with hope.
I smile and nod. “Yeah, sweetheart. I’ll try.”
If I could have one last kiss, I wouldn’t take it for granted. I wouldn’t give a damn about our parents’ friendship, my piece of shit father, or assholes like Kayla. I wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking I have time to make things right or time to sort through my emotions. Time is nothing to us. The only truth is the moment we live, and I wasted mine sneaking away from the man I love—and I may have lost him permanently.
I jump when another wave of shouts and commands are called in the air. I stand and watch a firefighter place a body on a stretcher. My hand comes up to cover my mouth as a silent cry shakes my body. My mom is instantly by my side, hugging me tightly.
“Is he… Is he…” I can’t finish my question. I may not be able to handle the answer I get. I simply hold on to my mom, soaking up her love. She’s always been my constant.
Mr. Carlisle yells angrily. “Stop stalling and take him.” He jumps into the ambulance. I’ve never seen him like this. He looks so lost, and when his eyes meet mine from across the path, he frowns.
I fall to the ground again, covering my face and quaking. Everything fades as I’m bombarded with memories of Miles. His laughter, his teasing, the way he danced with me on the sidewalk on our first date, his encouragement, his kisses, and his touches. The gentle way he’d look at me right before we made love. His soft voice as he whispered he loved me.
“Come on, June. Let’s go. There’s nothing left to see.” My mom holds my arm to help me stand as the memories loop in my mind. I look at the building, the flames still flaring angrily.
My mom talks to the firefighters. I recognize one and realize we went to high school together. He was Madison’s boyfriend. He nods at whatever my mom tells him, and she reaches for Charlie, carrying her.
“We’re taking Charlie to the estate.” She tilts her head toward the car.
I shake my head, but before I can argue, she adds, “Yes. Right now, you need to relax. They’ll call us with any updates.”
“Mom, I need to see him,” I beg.
“You’re coming with me now. We’ll get Charlie settled. Then, once you’re calm, you can take my car and go to the hospital.
Charlie looks between us with the saddest face I’ve ever seen. It breaks my heart, seeing the desolation in her features.
“Will you read me a story, June? I don’t think I can read today.”
“Of course,” I hiccup, swallowing my emotions. “I’ll read any story you want.” I rub a hand down her back. When my mom sets her in the backseat, I scoot in beside her, holding her the entire drive to her grandparents’ house.
An eerie feeling hits me when we walk in. The house is silent, with only a few lights on. I am guessing Mrs. Carlisle ran out the way I did and left everything as it was. Charlie is asleep when we walk in, so I lay her on her bed and leave the door slightly ajar so she won’t be scared when she wakes up.
“I’ll make tea.” My mom walks into the kitchen, filling the kettle and switching it on.
“After I drink the tea, I’m going to the hospital.” I leave no room for argument.
“I don’t want you driving in an emotional state.” She tilts her head and crosses her arms.
“I won’t. Trust me, I want to arrive safely more than anyone. I just…” my voice cracks. I take a shaky breath. “I need to be there for whatever news they give us. If I stay here, I’ll go crazy. I’ll make up all kinds of conclusions until I’m an emotional mess here, probably sitting in his childhood room, crying.”
My mom gives me a sad smile. “He’ll survive.”
I shake my head. “Don’t console me with false hope.”
She nods silently, steeping the tea bags when the kettle beeps. I wrap my hands around the warm mug, staring into the brown liquid. Charlie cries from her room, and we rush to her side. She’s curled into a ball, looking around in fear.
My mom consoles her until she falls back asleep. The traumas from this are beyond skin deep, and I can’t imagine how badly it’s affecting her. After I finish my tea, I grab the keys and hug my mom, kissing her cheek.
“Be safe. You don’t have your phone, but call me from Sarah’s or Nathaniel’s. I’ll be here and will answer the house phone.”
I nod and drive away. Prayers spill from me the entire time. I have no idea what I’ll find when I walk into that hospital, but I hope Chloe and Miles are both okay—as okay as they can be after experiencing a fire.
Chapter 31
June
After twenty minutes of looking for them, I see Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle sitting in a small room, holding each other. I stand in the hall, not wanting to break their moment, and sigh. At least I found the floor they’re on. The hospital was full of journalists seeking an inside story, so whenever I asked about Miles, I got the stink eye. As if a girl in day-old pajamas without a phone in her hand would be here to cover a story.
I lean against the wall and tilt my head back, closing my eyes. He may have made it to the hospital alive, but what if he dies afterward? So many complications come from a fire besides skin burns. What if he has carbon monoxide poisoning? What if they can’t do enough to save him?
“June?” I face forward and open my eyes.
Mrs. Carlisle stands next to me. “Come.” She tilts her head into the room they were sitting in.
“I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Nonsense. Sit with us. We’re waiting for updates.” She sits next to Mr. Carlisle, and I take the other empty seat beside her.
“How is he?” I whisper, afraid of the response.
“He was affected pretty badly, but they’re working on him,” Mr. Carlisle says.
I nod numbly. “And Chloe? How’s she?” I don’t see Brett around here, and I assume he’s with her.
“She’s better. By the grace of God, she only has a couple burns that will heal in time, and her lungs are clear.” Mrs. Carlisle blinks away tears, nodding softly with her hand on her chest.
I sigh and slump into my seat, thanking God for protecting her.
“Charlie is at home with my mother. She fell asleep on the way to the house. She woke up confused but fell back asleep,” I report.
“Thank you.” They nod and smile sadly, looking at each other.
After a while of silence, a doctor walks in, and they both stand immediately. I’m slower to follow, my body heavy.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle.” Then he looks at me with narrowed eyes.
“She’s with us,” Mr. Carlisle assures the doctor.
He nods and speaks. “We’re monitoring him. The burn on his jaw and neck is being treated. It will leave a scar, but if that’s all he gets from this, it’ll be a miracle,” he admits frankly. This causes my head to snap toward him.
“What about possible poisoning?” Mr. Carlisle jumps in.
“He’s being treated for it. He was trapped by a beam and inhaled quite a bit of smoke…” The doctor goes on and on about how they’re treating him, but I’m stuck in what he said. Trapped by a beam…smoke inhalation…miracle.
I fall onto the seat as the world spins around wildly.
As the doctor walks away, I whisper, “Please save him.”
He turns and smiles at me. “I’m going to do everything in my power to do just that.”
“When can we see him?” I whisper to his parents, unsure if I have a right to see him.
“Hopefully soon, sweetheart,” Mrs. Carlisle says, patting my hand.
“If I’m intruding, I’ll go,” I spout out suddenly, feeling self-conscious and misplaced.
“No,” Mr. Carlisle says firmly. “He’d want you here, and so do we.”
“Yes,” Mrs. Carlisle agrees with a nod.
Gruesome hours pass, waiting for an update on Miles. The three of us sit anxiously, pacing and sitting restlessly in turns. His parents ask the nurses periodically, but they shake their heads and keep working. No one has news for us, and I’m crawling out of my skin. I don’t even have a book to read and escape to. This is real life I can’t run from.
Thankfully, Chloe is okay. Brett came out a while ago to let his parents know. They each went in separately to see her and came back more relaxed. I wish that were the same news for Miles.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle.” We all look up at the same doctor from earlier. “You can go in and see him, one at a time.” They nod, and Mrs. Carlisle stands. I can’t imagine being a mother, worried sick about whether she’s losing her son.
“He’s gonna be okay,” Mr. Carlisle assures me. “Miles will make it through this.”
I nod silently.
After a few moments of silence, he begins speaking, stuttering in the process. “Um… I wanted…” He frowns. “I’m sure Miles told you about your parents.” I nod. “I wanted to apologize.” He looks around awkwardly. “We don’t always know how to do things, and had I been able to do things differently, I would’ve.”
“It’s okay. I spoke to my mom, and she explained a few things. It doesn’t make a difference—I was never meant to have a dad in my life, and that’s okay. My mom’s the only person I need.”
Mr. Carlisle nods, pensive. “I know my son needs you, and I’d guess you feel the same way. You have more people
than just your mom, as great as she is. You’ve got all of us as well.”
Tears swim in my eyes, and I inhale deeply to keep them at bay and nod, unable to speak.
“I’ll talk to the doctor so you can go in and see him as well,” he promises.
“Thank you,” my voice is bleak. I’m exhausted from the fear, from waiting for an update, from the unknown. I’m tired of living so fucking guarded. I’d do anything to get Miles back, to hold him and kiss him and tell him I love him.
Mrs. Carlisle comes back with a tear-soaked face and a crumpled tissue.
“How is he?” Mr. Carlisle stands immediately, panic in his voice. He’s usually composed and in control. We all have weak spots, and it seems Miles is a common one for the two of us.
The doctor guides him to Miles before Mrs. Carlisle can respond. I lean back on the uncomfortable chair and watch her. She sits beside me, wiping her nose.
“He’ll be okay,” she says, and I blow out an expansive breath. “He’ll have to stay for some days while they get him stable, but he’ll survive. They won’t know the long-term effects yet, if any until his oxygen level is back to normal and he’s conscious. Apparently, he’s been in and out of consciousness, which they said is normal.”
I nod as I listen and close my eyes. My lashes drown in tears, and I clasp my hands. If God’s listening, I pray he can give us a miracle.
Madison calls her mom, freaking out. I hear her through the phone while Mrs. Carlisle calms her, giving her the information she knows and telling her to stay on her tour. It must be devastating to be working and unable to break away like a normal person to visit her brother.
When Mr. Carlisle returns, his face is pale. Worry consumes me. He hugs his wife and cries into her neck. Fear grips me. Did something change while he was in there? It’s inexplicable to express what seeing a man like him break down is like. I stand and pace, keeping busy and distant from them since it’s their son, their family, that’s suffering.
“Go on,” he finally looks at me with red-rimmed eyes.
“Are you sure?” I whisper.
“Positive.” I look at the doctor, who nods.
My steps are slow as I follow him. I’m not sure what I’ll find, and I’m scared. I’m scared that it’ll be a lifeless body or a similar situation.