Trust In Lust

by Rhylie Matthews

  I opened the driver side door to jump in, but his wave caught my attention over the hood and I paused with one foot up on the side rail.

  He looked down and fiddled with his receiver. “I’m gonna fill Bobby in while we wait.”

  My stomach twisted in response to his words, and I pulled myself up and leaned between the door and the windshield. “Maybe not a great idea.”

  He sighed, and his shoulder’s fell as he looked down at the ground. “Please, tell me they’re not involved?”

  He was disappointed and I couldn’t blame him; we’d both liked Bobby, and this little sign didn’t bode well for their team. At all. But involved? There’s no way I could answer that for certain without point blank asking them and playing lie detector. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I went back over all of our encounters with the two locals we’d been working with and weighed the probabilities.

  “Vaughn.”

  I looked up at my name and saw the plea in his eyes. I knew I couldn’t give him the answers he wanted; the words he needed to hear. There’s nothing he hated more than a crooked cop. And to think Bobby... My chest ached at not being able to say those words. Sometimes, I really fucking hated my sixes.

  “There’s no way of knowing right now whether it’s them or someone down the line.” I shrugged. “Just tell ‘em we’re out and they can go. We’ll play twenty questions later.”

  “That’s just fucking great.” His hands landed on his hips as he laughed derisively and shook his head. “Just fucking great.”

  “Hey, big guy.”

  He looked at me expectantly and I tried to smile. “I like him too. And honestly, Phillips is just an idiot. Neither of them being involved feels right.”

  “Thanks, J.”

  I nodded and got my ass in the truck and away from that awkward conversation; so glad my wards were up for it and the aftermath inside him I knew was to come. Seeing him torn apart by the possibility was bad enough. But feeling it as he did? The devastation and betrayal that surfaced when dirty cops came up; that shit shredded me inside.

  I knew enough to know that some terrible shit happened with his previous partner and that whatever went down was the reason he refused to work with anyone for years before he eventually left the field and started the training program instead.

  He had a fucked up past, or so I’d been told.

  Rollins, our big boss, knew we were close and had stepped in with a warning before I’d officially taken the job. No detail, but enough to let me know to cut him some slack.

  That warning had eased any worries I’d had about our dynamics changing, though. I was pretty sure that our pasts made us perfect partners for each other and the only reason they signed off on us working together. Hell, we didn’t like ourselves most of the time; no one else was going to put up with our bullshit.

  I laughed and leaned forward to crank the truck, then raised the seat. He may be a good nine inches taller than me but I swear, every one of those were from the waist up.

  I looked over at Sutton through the window and laughed again. He’d taken his earpiece out and had it clenched tightly in one fist while he waved it around in front of him, and yelled into it. I could see the vein at his temple throbbing from here. No, he wasn’t ‘difficult to manage’ at all. It almost made me feel bad for putting Phillips off on him earlier. Almost.

  I grabbed his coffee and got comfortable with it in the seat to wait. Cold or not, I was desperate and coffee is coffee.

  A loud whistle caught my attention as I took the first sip and I turned my head, cup and all, toward the window.

  He rolled his eyes, and I couldn’t help but grin. He jerked his head backwards, and I looked towards the warehouse in time to see ST pulling around the back.

  I just nodded and waved him off, letting him know I’d be fine. I did have his coffee.

  He frowned and pointed to the truck, then stabbed a finger at the ground.

  I flipped him off, not knowing where the fuck exactly he expected me to go and as I watched him jog off, my cell phone buzzed against my lower stomach.

  I pulled it out of its elastic band inside my cargos and glanced down at the caller ID.

  Steph.

  I frowned, instantly worried at her calling this early, and swiped the screen.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Um…” she hesitated. “Nothing?” There was a nervousness in her voice that instantly had the hairs on the back of my neck raised. “Well, maybe something? I don’t know, that’s why I’m calling.”

  “Okay?” I’d talked to her mom yesterday, and everything was fine.

  “She’s going to be mad.”

  “Fuck her being mad. If there’s something wrong, Stephie, tell me.”

  She sighed, and I could hear movement on the other end before a door shut.

  “Now, Stephie.”

  “Mom didn’t get home ‘til after three this morning.”

  Silence filled the line as what that possibly meant sank in.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah, Lily. I’m sure.” She sounded sad, almost hopeless.

  Guilt crept in at her use of the alias assigned to me by the FBI. I was Special Agent Lily James here. Sutton had filed the paperwork without me knowing, using a combination of the pet name he sparingly used for me and his first name. I hated hearing other people call me Lily. It was creepy as fuck. But these two kids meant so much to me and it broke my heart not to tell them who I really was.

  Would Steph feel like I had betrayed her when she found out? Her life was already a wreck, and after watching everything she had with her dad, I couldn’t fault the girl for now being worried about her mom. She was only seventeen.

  “What else?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “One night out wouldn’t have you picking up the phone, what else?”

  “Last night wasn’t the first night,” she hesitated before continuing, and it was like a dam had broken free and her distress rose with each word. “It’s been happening a lot. And there are barely any groceries in the house. I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t even make Landon’s lunch today, I’m going to have to give him lunch money, but that’s all I have and I don’t know what to do.”

  Fuck. There’s no way Eileen would ever let that happen.

  “Are you going to school today?” I asked, as I tried to come up with a plan in my head.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Would you calm down? It’s Senior Day. I’m not skipping.”

  “You better not be. I will kick your ass for that shit.”

  She snorted, then gave a sarcastic, “Yes ma’am.”

  “You’re such a brat.” I heard her giggle and the worry inside me eased just a little. “I’ll put in a grocery order and have it delivered today; be there to pick it up. We’ll swing by after we leave the hospital to talk to your mom.”

  She panicked instantly. “Hospital! What happened? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I reassured her quickly. “But Sutton got a boo-boo.”

  She busted out laughing, way too hard for the terrible joke I’d made and I imagined it was a stress break.

  “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure out what’s going on with Eileen and help anyway we can, okay? You aren’t alone in this and neither is your mom. Regardless of how fucking stubborn she is.”

  “Thanks, Agent James.” She blew a slow breath out and continued before I could say anything. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

  “You did the right thing. I’m always here if you need something, you hear me? Always, Stephie.”

  She sniffled just as a muffled crash sounded in the background.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Landon’s awake.” It didn’t take that little guy long to hit the ground running. At four, he was the epitome of mischief and mayhem.

  “Yeah, I better go. I’ll see you later?”

  “Yeah, kid. I’ll be there.” I reassured her aga
in softly.

  “Okay.”

  I dropped my hand into my lap and stared at the phone. It didn’t make any sense. Eileen was a great mom; she’d fought hard for that fresh start and the life she was building. For her and those kids.

  “Ugh.” I pulled up the grocery app and started adding shit to the cart. I had no clue what they ate, and my culinary skills had plateaued around the frozen waffle stage, so I just randomly picked shit I thought went together as I scrolled through the categories.

  When I got to personal hygiene, I paused. She had said nothing about it but if it there wasn’t fucking food, what else was low in the house? I added a couple of boxes of tampons and pads, soaps for her and Landon, and toilet paper.

  Four hundred and seventy-eight dollars later, I was hung over the back of the seat, digging through our gear for my fucking wallet. I didn’t have that amount of cash in my bank account and even if I did, there was no way I could afford their groceries and still feed myself the rest of the week. Which meant I had to find the card to my trust account.

  Except, I hadn’t seen my wallet in a week. Since the last time I’d lost it. Fuck, I threw a vest across the truck. Sutton was going to be pissed. I put my feet on the dash and pushed myself further back, wedged my fingers between the seats, and ran it along the whole seat. Nothing.

  “Damn it!” I threw everything I’d knocked off back into the seat then fell to my knees back up front and looked around the cab. Glove compartment? Nope. Visor? Nope. I would never hear the end of this. I sighed and crawled back behind the wheel before pulling up my bank app. I’d just have to transfer the money from my trust to my account.

  I added a little extra to give Steph in case of an emergency, hit transfer, and switched back over to the grocery app to pay with my own card already stored in my phone. It would piss Eileen off to no end but better safe than sorry until we figured out what was up.

  I knew Steph and Landon’s father was still locked up, I’d checked last week. And Lana brags on how great she is at her new job with her at the hospital. Never late, eager to learn. She didn’t do drugs. It didn’t add up, and I hated not knowing the answers.

  The passenger door opened, and I grabbed the steering wheel to keep from rocking with the truck while he got in. The door slammed, and we just sat there in silence. I didn’t want to tell him about the phone call; Landon had stolen a piece of his heart the night he’d carried him out of that trailer and he’d insist on going straight there. Before the hospital.

  But if I waited... I chewed on the inside of my cheek while I weighed the possibilities of him actually killing me this time.

  “Anytime today? I am bleeding over here, you know.”

  “Quit whining.” I rolled my eyes and turned the key. A shiver ran down my spine as the engine turned over and the diesel smoothly roared to life. I sat back and listened to the engine as the sound and the soft vibrations soothed my nerves. I loved this truck so much it was fucking pathetic; the beast had put me to sleep on more than one occasion, which was a miracle itself.

  “Vaughn.”

  His voice snagged my attention, and I looked over. “What?”

  The expectant look on his face let me know I’d completely zoned out. “Sorry.” I shook my head and put the truck in drive before pulling out of the lot and heading for the hospital. I’d tell him after.

  “Talk to me.”

  I didn’t want to talk about Hicks. And I wasn’t telling him about Eileen, so I just sighed and checked the side mirror before switching lanes, purposely not looking at his face when I answered. “Just tired.”

  It wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the truth either.

  When he didn’t respond I moved so I could see him out of my peripheral. He was frowning at the dash, then turned and looked behind him.

  Why was… Two dusty booted toe prints marred the black surface just above the radio. Oops. I gripped the wheel tighter and focused on the road. Please, don’t ask. Pleeaasssee, don’t ask.

  I watched as he relaxed against the set and watched traffic go by.

  “You need to eat; pull through a drive-thru.”

  Oh yay, Sutton’s obsessive need to worry to the rescue! I felt guilty, so I figured the least I could offer to do was eat after he got stitched up. “I can wait—”

  “Now,” he commanded gruffly, cutting me off. “It wasn’t a suggestion.”

  “Fine.” I hung a quick left without warning and pulled into a burger place.

  The sharpness of the turn caught him off guard and knocked him into the window. “Fuck!”

  His head hit with a satisfying thud and I smiled as I parked in the line and turned to him. “Happy?”

  He glared as he rubbed the back of his head with his uninjured arm. “Fucking ecstatic.”

  “Good!” I chirped as I pulled up and let the window down.

  “Salad.”

  “It’s fucking breakfast!” I shrieked.

  The speaker crackled to life, and a woman said, “Excuse me?”

  Shit. I swung my head around to the speaker. “Sorry! Not you. I need a minute, please?”

  “Order when you’re ready.”

  I turned back to him and whispered, “I’m not eating a salad for breakfast! You two fuckup every other meal of my day. Breakfast is mine.”

  “It isn’t breakfast when you’ve been up all night. Breakfast is when you wake up. Literal meaning, Vaughn. Break. Fast.”

  I turned back to the speaker. “Can I get 7 bacon cheeseburgers, two fries, two cokes, and a large coffee, please?”

  “And a salad!” Sutton shouted at my ear.

  I winced and shouldered him to his side. “Thats my fucking ear drum!”

  He leaned back against the window with his hand over the bullet hole I’d just jammed my shoulder into, smirked, and then pointed behind me. “She’s talking to you.”

  Oh my God. I whirled back around. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “I said...” The attitude was real as she read back our order and told us the total.

  “Thank you!” I said as sweetly as possible, rolled the window up, and pulled forward. “If they spit in our food, that bullet won’t be the only thing they pull out of your ass.”

  He snorted.

  “You’re such an ass.”

  “Yeah, and you’re such a fucking delight yourself,” he said and threw our expense card across the truck.

  It hit me in the throat and slid down the front of my vest. I looked down and then over to him. “Really?”

  He smirked triumphantly, then winked and waggled his eyebrows seductively.

  “Ugh.” I turned away from him and eased up to the window, then hit the button before looking back over to him. “I really am going to punch you in the fucking face one day, you know that right?”

  He shifted his weight to the side and leaned back against the window before making goo-goo eyes and rolling his lips out in a fake pout. “But you like my face.”

  It shouldn’t have been cute. But it was. The window opened behind me and I just shook my head at him. “No, your face is stupid.”

  He roared in laughter, one hand on his chest, the other pressed against his shoulder. Good. I hope it fucking hurt.

  I turned and offered her my card, still glaring at him. When she didn’t take it, I looked to see what the issue was.

  She was frozen, eyes a little too wide, mouth open, and hand held out. I frowned and looked behind me. Sutton was still laughing and while his size normally made people pause on its own, he also had blood all over him. His hair was still a fucking mess since he’d hid his beanie from me, and he looked like a deranged lunatic.

  I looked down at myself, and it wasn’t much better. I’d wiped his blood off and it was now swiped across the chest and stomach area of my vest. Well, at least the vest had F.B.I. in big black letters across it, so maybe she’d still give us our food??

  I cleared my throat, and she jumped, her eyes flying to me.

  “Morning.” I gave her my sweet
est smile and waved my card.

  She looked down at it, then back at me before she slowly reached out to grab it. As soon as her fingers touched it, she snatched it out of my hand and ran.

  I leaned forward so I could see further into the restaurant. She’d ran clear to the other side and was waving her arms frantically as she talked really fast to an older lady.

  The woman leaned forward and craned her neck our way.

  Fuck. I smiled tightly and waved before I turned away and leaned my head back on the seat rest.

  I scrubbed my hands down my face and sighed. I was the difficult one. Me. Yeah, okaaaay, Mr. Now, it wasn’t a suggestion.

  “Good morning! How are we today?”

  I raised my head and looked out the window. The manager was standing there with a tight smile on her face, holding a bag. I frowned.

  “Um, okay, I guess?” What was I supposed to say?

  “That’s good.” She held a bag out the window and said, “Salad.”

  I took the bag, looked inside and saw the stickers holding the top on, then fisted the top of the bag and threw it over my shoulder.

  The bag hit and a small oomph sounded as I smiled up at her, waiting for the next bag.

  She rolled her lips over her teeth and bit down on them before handing me two more. “Burgers. Fries.”

  I tucked them between by leg and the door, then reached for the drinks.

  Creases lined the corners of her eyes and she bit down harder on her lips as she handed them off.

  She was laughing at me.

  “Have a great day!”

  I passed them off to him then studied her face for a second, wondering how many fucking screws she had loose, before replying in kind and rolling the window up.

  We’d gone from terrifying the first girl to entertaining the second one. Why did everything have to be so fucking weird? I had no words. “I hate you so much right now,” I said and pulled away.

  “You hit me in the face with a fucking salad!”

  “And?”

  “What the fuck is your problem?”

  “Oh, you mean besides the drive thru girl we just traumatized?”

  “Oh, fucking well! You needed to eat and so do I. Give me my fucking food, I’m not eating this shit.”