Be My December

by Rachel Brookes

  “I’m staying put.” I crossed my arms over my chest, and my eyes closed momentarily as exhaustion swept through me. There was nothing about tonight that even the best psychic in the world could have predicted. A few drinks and some inappropriate conversations with Josh was what I expected.

  I certainly didn’t expect Eden Rivers.

  I felt her move beside me and my eyes shot open as the thoughts of her escaping and going back into the crowd and toward the atrocity of Chris flooded me.

  Her body had twisted and she now faced me in such a way that her knees pressed into the side of my thigh. Instinctively, I moved into a similar pose until our knees were pressed against one another’s. I froze under her penetrating gaze. My throat constricted as her inquisitive blue eyes, flickering with intensity, floated over my face, taking me completely in. Every inch of my face was under her scrutiny and I had never felt as exposed or vulnerable as I did right now. It was like she was reading every one of my fucked-up thoughts and that was one thing I didn’t want her to do.

  “What are you looking for?” I whispered gruffly, my tone coming across too strong.

  “I am trying to work you out.” Her tone dropped in seriousness as her eyes narrowed, darkening to a shade of midnight blue. “I don’t know why you want to sit here babysitting me when the woman with the blond hair at the bar is waiting to pounce on you the moment I leave. I am pretty sure it’s rude to leave your date.”

  I felt myself shifting closer to her, and I couldn’t stop the pull. Her eyes widened the moment my voice dropped so only she could hear. “First off, there is nothing you need to work out about me. Secondly, I am not babysitting you, and thirdly, she is most definitely not my date. If you haven’t already worked it out, I clearly prefer the company of brunettes with dangerously inviting eyes who give me a fake name and pretend attitude while I can feel them shaking like a fucking leaf beside me.”

  Our eyes latched onto each other’s with a fierce intensity that confused the fuck out of me. My protection of the truth was slowly cracking under her watchful gaze. As I sat opposite her, it was now my turn to look at her, to push every strength of my gaze toward her and ultimately draw her to the surface. Her composure faltered and the smallest of frowns swept over her red painted lips before she snapped back to throwing her false attitude my way. I didn’t buy it. Her weakness was coming to the surface at a rapid pace, swallowing the fake confidence that she was desperately trying to portray.

  “My name is Kellie,” she muttered and her voice wavered ever so slightly. Finally her eyes broke away from mine and focused on Ashlyn who was making her way back towards us.

  Ashlyn glided through the crowd with a tray of drinks balancing precariously in her hands. Eden’s friend walked behind her with her hand clasped tightly in Josh’s. I shot an exasperated look to Josh whose eyebrows wiggled as a knowing smirk greeted his lips.

  “I brought drinks. Kellie, Vodka Orange for you. I got you a double.” Ashlyn’s gaze danced questioningly between Eden and me. I felt my frustration level rising at Ashlyn calling her Kellie.

  “Uh yeah thanks.” Eden grabbed the tall glass from the tray and immediately drank half the glass in one swift gulp. She fell into a vortex of silence while the conversation around us buzzed as drink after drink was downed. The more Eden drank the more she seemed to relax and her closeness to me didn’t falter.

  Tori shifted from Josh’s lap and stumbled over toward the couch and plopped herself beside Eden, forcing her to shift even closer to me.

  “I am going to fuck his brains out tonight,” Tori nodded in Josh’s direction. “And you should do the same with his brother. Latch onto him and ride him like a goddamn stallion. Did you see what he did out there for you?” Her attempts at whispering were foiled by her intoxicated state, and I heard every damn word she said.

  “Jesus Tori, drop your voice,” Eden groaned. She shot me an apologetic look.

  “No one will be riding me,” I growled and stood from the couch. Josh’s eyes found mine, and I knew he would follow the moment I left. I stormed through the crowd back to the main bar and slammed a fifty down and ordered another round of drinks for the group plus ice water for myself. I knew for a fact that Chris was still sniffing around and would pounce the moment I tore down my guard so the beers had to stop.

  “So it’s pretty obvious that I’m taking Tori home. Are you alright to take Eden and Ashlyn with you?” Josh spoke from behind me.

  I shifted my gaze back to the couches where Eden sat with Ashlyn and Tori. Tori and Ashlyn laughed together while Eden looked absently out onto the dance floor, a stoic look plastered on her face.

  “Why the fuck is she pretending that her name is Kellie?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine.” He shook his head as his eyes focused on her. “She has absolutely no clue that we know who she is.”

  Tori stumbled toward us, her curls bouncing around her face while her eyes locked tightly on me, ultimately dispersing mine and Josh’s conversation. She latched onto my arm for support as her body swayed under the effects of way too much alcohol. Just how strong were those vodkas Ashlyn was buying?

  “I know your name is Ky,” she slurred and poked me in the chest. It wasn’t a hidden fact what my name was, it just hadn’t been asked, and I didn’t just go around saying ‘by the way, my name is Ky’.

  “And I know your name is Tori,” I shot back.

  “She can’t say no, my best friend can’t say no. She can’t even be herself on her birthday,” she announced with a heavy sigh, fiercely grabbing my attention in the process. Her voice swam with frustration, hurt, and distress as she glanced back toward the table. “That’s why she went with that guy. We come to places like this because it’s usually safe. We usually have the best time because no one pays any attention to us. But tonight it wasn’t. If you hadn’t come along, I don’t know what would have happened.”

  “What do you mean?” Josh thankfully asked as my ability to speak faded as anger fired within me.

  “For as long as I’ve known her, she always says yes, because she is scared to say no.”

  “Why is she saying her name is Kellie?” I growled as my blood boiled at hearing Tori’s admissions.

  “Because she hides behind these masks she puts up. She does it every time we go out. I tried to talk her out of it tonight, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She is never Eden.”

  I needed to get out of here before I said something I’d regret or did something that would lead to me looking like a complete tool. “I’ve got to go. Josh, take Tori and Ashlyn with you.”

  “What?”

  “Josh, please,” I shot my brother a pleading look, and he nodded in agreement. I knew my time here was done for. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of completely blowing the fuck up, and I needed to get out—but first I needed to see for myself. I marched back to the table, my eyes focused on Eden who looked at me with Bambi-like eyes, before shifting my attention to Ashlyn.

  “I’m done for the night. Ash, I’ll see you on Monday.” I leaned down and kissed her cheek softly and then returned my attention to a gawking Eden.

  “Kellie, come with me.”

  I should have been panicked.

  I should have been frightened.

  I should have been alarmed.

  But I wasn’t.

  I stood on the sidewalk, the cool air of New York swirling around me in a teasing manner, and I waited for his next move. I chewed my lip and pulled my jacket tightly around my body. What a crazy night. The moment he asked me to leave with him, I was done for. I had no choice but to follow him out of the bar and into the uncertainty of the city. His eyes had widened when I stood from the couch and moved toward him, as if he didn’t expect me to agree so quickly. What choice did I have? He asked and I followed. I said yes. At that moment my weakness was on full display, every confidence that I tried to show was squashed by a simple statement, and as usual, I couldn’t say no. The mask I tried so desperately to portray quickl
y fell to the floor in a heap of lies and trepidation.

  “What are we doing?” I asked, finding my voice and desperate to put to sleep the awkwardness that was beaming off me.

  He shifted slowly, taking purposeful steps, and moved his towering body so it completely overshadowed mine. He shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets and his eyes took in my features, swallowing any insecurity with one enduring look. Hazel eyes beamed into mine, then they dropped and lingered on my lips for a moment too long, a moment that both of us noticed. Ripping his gaze from my mouth, he looked me squarely in the eyes. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you would follow me.”

  “I had no choice.”

  “You always have a choice.”

  His eyes darkened, the delicious hazel color dissolved into to a shade of murky brown, then his jaw tensed as if I had just said the most shocking thing in the world. Why did I even say that? Silence fell between us as we stood on the sidewalk on a cold November night. I shivered under the night air and thankfully a cab soon pulled up to the curb. He walked over, opening the door for me. I didn’t look at him as I ducked under his arm and collapsed onto the leather seat. The warmth in the air comforted me, and I felt my body start to relax.

  Still I felt no fear.

  The seat dipped when he slid in beside me and the air immediately thickened.

  “To the island,” he directed the cab driver as he shifted in his seat and looked out the window beside him. “Head toward City Towers.”

  I folded back into the cushioned seat and closed my eyes as scenarios burst into my thoughts. A guy like him obviously always got what he wanted. His confidence alone was earth shattering, let alone the looks that the heavens above had blessed him with.

  I sat beside this figure of complete mystery in silence. The bright lights and the abundance of people crowding the sidewalk faded behind us as we weaved our way out of the city that never slept and headed across the river. A million thoughts went trampling through my head at a frightening rate. I knew I was getting myself into dangerous territory yet again. I was in a cab, with a strange man, heading to his apartment. This was not how my night was meant to end but why the fuck wasn’t I scared out of my wits?

  We pulled up in front of a towering building twinkling in the night sky. He opened the door and slid out and moments later the door beside me opened and I stepped out into the crisp air.

  “You ready?” He asked in a low tone.

  “Yes.”

  I walked beside him in silence and concentrated on my breathing. The closer we moved to the entrance, the more my heart rate increased. Shock and confusion collided head on as we continued past the entrance. I halted and spun around. I looked through the double glass doors into the welcoming foyer with what looked like a coffee bar at one end and a pizzeria on the other, both bursting with late night revelers.

  “Are we not going in there?” I asked, shock hinted on my words as my eyes locked on the pizzeria.

  He stopped and turned back toward me, a look of disbelief cascading over his way too perfect face. “Did you think we were going to my apartment?”

  “Yes,” I whispered honestly, my voice dropping dangerously low. Cautiously I allowed my eyes to finally find his. He looked at me like I was the most precious commodity in the world, a look that sent a million butterflies loose in my stomach.

  A look that finally terrified me.

  “Not every guy is a complete asshole. Yes, you are beautiful and yes I’d love to have you in my bed. Believe me, I’d take great pleasure in worshiping your body, but I’m not going to touch you or even attempt to touch you when you are clearly petrified to even be here with me. ” His honesty was brutal yet refreshing.

  “I’ll have you know that I’m not petrified of you.”

  His brow rose curiously. “Riiggght.” Over exaggeration dripped from his words. “That’s why you have barely said two words to me.” He took off around the corner and disappeared from sight.

  What the hell?

  My stubbornness and desire to prove him wrong shot through me like a cannon. I could have a conversation with this guy. Couldn’t I? He made it as clear as the night sky above that he wasn’t taking me to his apartment tonight so that was one thing I didn’t have to worry about. I mumbled obscenities under my breath and took off with a rush to find where this annoying yet intriguing stranger had run off to.

  I inhaled sharply the moment he came into view as I turned the corner. He leaned against the red brick wall, arms crossed strongly across his chest, his eyes focused solely on me and where I would appear. He looked like a freaking poster boy of intimidating good looks and devilish intentions.

  My eyes shot up to the neon sign flashing above my head, Joe’s Place. I shot him a look, and he nudged his head in the direction of the door leading into the 50’s inspired diner. Well this wasn’t how I thought my night would end. I swallowed my frustration and entered through the doors, making my way toward the far corner and sliding into an empty booth. When I realized I wasn’t being followed, I searched the diner and found my stranger leaning over the counter talking closely to a middle aged woman with almost black hair and a cute pink frilly dress covering her body. It looked like she had stepped out of Happy Days.

  I fumbled through my clutch in search of my phone. I was in desperate need of a distraction, something, anything to pull me away from staring across the diner like a complete fool at a man who I had no clue about. Pulling out a couple of twenty dollar bills, tissues and my lip gloss, my fingers finally grabbed hold of my phone. Three unread message icons flashed before me.

  Tori: I am so proud of you leaving with Mr. Get in my panties. Happy Birthday!!!

  I shook my head at my best friend’s clear lack of people skills.

  Message two.

  Tori: I love this city. I love strip clubs. I love the man I am going to fuck tonight. I love yooooooooooooooooooou.

  Message three.

  Unknown number: I’d say it’s great to see you back in town, but then I’d be lying.

  I gasped loudly, my body shuddered as a familiar feeling incapacitated me. My eyes continued to bounce over the words that tormented me from the confines of my phone. With a painful stab, my heart stopped with every letter, with every stomach churning word laid out before me. I read the message over and over again, like a sick and twisted need to allow it to further consume me. I didn’t understand this, my number was private. No one knew I was back in town. I sat back against the leather of the booth. Suddenly, I felt like the world was watching me, scrutinizing me, waiting in the darkness to take me in. My eyes darted and dodged around the busy diner. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t shut down. Not here. Not with him walking toward me, looking at me so all consuming.

  “What’s wrong?” He pulled his wallet and phone from his pocket, placing them on the table between us, and slid in across from me.

  “This place seems cool.” I darted away from his question desperate to change the subject and hoping he would follow suit. Exhaustion was hitting me at an alarming rate, and I craved the security my hotel room and bed would provide. The thought of actually having a conversation with this man felt exhausting yet seemed somewhat necessary. “I didn’t know this place existed.”

  We were interrupted by the arrival of the same lady from the counter. She looked between me and Crawford, seriously what kind of name was Crawford, and smiled widely, her cheeks flushing. I swear I even heard her sigh. She leaned over toward me and a plate was placed in front of me, containing a lush looking piece of chocolate cake with mountains of snow white whipped cream towering sky high. My mouth watered at the sight. My head bounced between looking at the amazingness in front of me, the lovely lady whose nametag told me her name was Carole, and the man grinning across from me. Talk about confused. Carole turned on her heel and crossed the diner, giving us one last look over her shoulder.

  “What’s this?” I asked breathlessly.

  “You need to eat cake on your birthday.”
/>   “You bought me cake?” I stated, astonished beyond belief.

  “So it seems.” He fired a wink toward me before digging into the piece of cake that sat on the table in front of him, a moan of delight escaping his lips. I stared at him completely overwhelmed and at a loss for words. His eyes left the cake and met mine and a perfect smirk flitted over his lips. “You need to pick up the fork and put it in the cake and then eat it. It's delicious, my aunt knows how to bake a mean cake.”

  Lifting the fork, I sunk it into the rich looking cake and lifted it to my lips. The smell alone caused me to sigh in anticipation. I felt his eyes on me. My eyes closed as the chocolate wonder set off my taste buds, smashing the emptiness of my stomach with pure delight, and a soft moan escaped. This was hands down the best cake I’d ever eaten.

  “Why did you do that?” I asked between bites of cake.

  “Why did I do what?”

  “Um, back at the club. With that uh, that guy.” I stuttered, immediately regretting bringing it up.

  He placed his fork down on the plate and gave me his full attention. “I have never seen someone look as terrified as you did. I knew you didn’t want to be there and I had to do something. I had to stop that asshole from putting his hands on you.”

  “But why me?”

  “I couldn’t take my eyes off you from the moment I saw you so yeah, I noticed when a fucktard came onto you and took you away and I refused to sit around and watch that.”

  He couldn’t take his eyes off me? I tried to let his words settle within me but to be honest this whole situation was freaking me out. What was I meant to say to that?

  “Is that not what you wanted to hear?” He leaned in and his eyes twinkled in amusement.

  I felt my lips curl slightly. “I’m not exactly sure.”

  “How about we just eat our cake?” He suggested and dropped his eyes to the half-eaten piece of cake sitting in front of me.

  I nodded and picked up my fork. Silence fell over the table as I got lost in a world of rich chocolate goodness and I soon I forgot where I was and who I was with.