Be My December

by Rachel Brookes

  I had barely slept a wink.

  My lips were still alight from the sensation of Ky’s lips on mine. I couldn’t stop touching them and even now my fingertips ran over my swollen pout. He had kissed me, devoured me, and completely owned me in those few moments.

  Did I regret it? No.

  Did that fact frighten me? Yes.

  Not only was I dealing with the thought of kissing a guy who was also signing off on my paychecks for the next six weeks, I was now dealing with Ky’s question and his unrealistic suggestion. His words—give me December, be mine for one month—had continued to swirl around my head and left me in a complete puddle of emotions and I hadn’t heard from him since.

  “You are currently being eye-fucked,” Tommy announced.

  I choked on the Coke that he had just placed in front of me and looked at him with wide eyes. Good to see his subtleness had developed over the years. He watched me with amusement plastered all over his face and his eyes left mine and glanced over my shoulder. I didn’t even want to know. I shook my head and concentrated on the glass in front of me but now the feeling of being watched swamped me. Damn you Tommy. How I could be getting eye-fucked, as Tommy called it, made me question this person’s desperation. I had left the hotel in my oldest jeans, the hoodie I usually wore to bed, and my hair was covered in one of my favorite beanies, as well as my face being free of any makeup.

  “He is coming over,” Tommy warned, and I stiffened in my seat. Tommy saw the anxiety greet my face, and he remained standing in front of me behind the counter.

  The intoxicating scent of sandalwood and musk hit me like a warm summer breeze. I gripped hold of my glass and raised it to my lips and took a long comforting drink.

  “Tommy, I’m ready to order.” Ky’s voice hit my ears like silk touching skin. Smooth, enticing and dangerously flirtatious. “I’ll also pay for what Eden wants.” His words grabbed my attention, and I swung back around to look at him. He looked back at me expectedly with inquisitive eyes and stubble gracing his strong jaw.

  “I’m happy to pay for mine,” I stuttered in response.

  I saw his mind tick over and then the smallest of frowns swept over his face.

  “Put it on my bill,” he directed at Tommy with a growl tinging his voice and then he turned to me. “Come sit with me when you are done.”

  He didn’t give me a chance to respond; he turned and crossed with diner without another word. It would seem that Mr. Alpha was visiting for the day.

  “How the hell do you know Ky Crawford A.K.A Mr. Eye-Fuck Eden?”

  I chose to ignore his ridiculous statement. “I am doing a photo shoot for the magazine he works at.”

  “He is seriously into you.”

  Tommy’s admission shocked me. I shook my head at the absurd statement and dropped my eyes to the counter. I couldn’t even fathom that. I was in a whirlwind of uncertainty when it came to Ky Crawford, and Tommy’s comment was unbelievable. I was here to do a job, to take photos and then I would be back on a plane headed to my comfortable, stable life in San Francisco, and I wouldn’t have to think of this place again. I wasn’t the type of girl who gave out signals that I wanted a guy to ‘want’ me. I couldn’t, I would never.

  Fear, intrigue and confusion all swam wildly within me as I tried to desperately get a grip. These were the moments when I got furious with what happened. Not only did Jeremy Davis take away my innocence, my pride, and my right as a woman, but he also damaged me for the rest of my life. He took away my opportunity for a normal relationship—the experience of feeling butterflies in my stomach when a guy like Ky Crawford would look at me, that feeling of completeness of a first kiss and the overwhelming excitement of sex. He took my right to be a normal twenty-four-year-old woman and I hated him for that. I despised him for that.

  “Eden!”

  I snapped out of my trance and looked at Tommy, whose brow furrowed with worry. I found the biggest smile I could muster and shook all thoughts out of my head.

  “Are you okay?” He clearly didn’t buy my attempt at covering up my thoughts.

  “I am all good Tommy.” I shot a look back at where Ky sat and grabbed my glass from the counter. “I’ll see you soon.”

  I pushed away from the counter and silently gave myself a pep talk, but my eyes never left Ky as I crossed the diner. How could I possibly sit across from him while his absurd proposition continued to plague my thoughts and his kiss still sent shockwaves through my body? He was burning down my walls of resolve terrifyingly quick, and I was stumbling into unknown territory that for some strange reason made me feel alive again.

  I slid in the booth opposite him and the familiar feeling of being under Ky’s watchful gaze immediately hit me. My hands fumbled as I quickly attacked the brass buckles of my bright pink laptop satchel and grabbed my Mac. The thought of using my laptop screen as a shield was a welcome relief, and I was planning on spending the morning working on my ideas for the shoot and searching for locations.

  “Thanks for joining me.” His deep voice spoke with a certainty, a promise, and an intention that felt surprisingly welcomed but made me so damn nervous. I retracted from my internal battle of refusing to grace my eyes with the pleasure of looking at his face and lifted my gaze to meet his.

  Big mistake.

  “Mr. Crawford.” I acknowledged with a stern nod.

  A delicious smirk took over his lips, and I swear I saw a twinkle in his eyes. “So we are using formalities now? Well in that case, thank you Miss Rivers.”

  My name fell from his mouth with such ease and the smile tugging on his lips encouraged a matching smile to flash over mine. The idea of flirting with this man was dangerous; it was temperamental and had the ingredients to be beautifully devastating. But the more I was around him, the more I realized I was beginning to feel and imagine things I never knew I wanted.

  I dropped my eyes from his and opened Photoshop, wanting the distraction to cease the awkwardness filling the table; awkwardness laced with a confusing need which made me consider things I shouldn’t. It didn’t work. I blankly stared at the screen not being able to concentrate on anything but the man sitting across from me.

  “So are we going to pussyfoot around my question?”

  “I’m not pussyfooting around anything, Ky.” I slammed my laptop shut and glared at him. He could not be serious. “Tori had no right to mention anything about me before she left town, I don’t care how drunk she was. I barely know you. You are simply the guy who is paying me to photograph the cover.”

  “Yep I’m simply that guy.” His voice dropped devastatingly low, and he tore his eyes from mine.

  “That’s not what I meant. I am grateful for what you are doing, but come on, you can’t be serious? A month is a long time. Your idea is twisted.”

  “What’s twisted about it?” He laughed. “I’ve already kissed you, and you were very involved in that kiss so you cannot say it doesn’t intrigue you. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. It will simply be two people spending time together. You’re only just back in town, I don’t get out much, and we obviously have some things in common. If I am being completely honest, which I always seem to be around you, you are insanely sexy so as a fully functioning man I’d be crazy not to want to have you in my life even if it is just for a month, four measly weeks, thirty-one days even.”

  He could not be serious.

  “So what? Are you one of those guys who would use the month to live out some sick fantasy? Is this a crazy way of attempting to get in my pants?” I swallowed hard as my heartbeat increased to the point of pain. I couldn’t do this. There was no way.

  “Why do you do that?” His eyes narrowed in, the frustration in his voice not missed.

  “Do what?”

  “Pretend to be this person that you clearly aren’t. You can be yourself around me. That’s what I want. I want the Eden who I know is in there. Not the Eden that you hide behind. I want the Eden who I met last night on the balcony, the same girl who kissed me wi
thin a breath of her life, the Eden who grabbed hold of me like she never wanted me to leave, the Eden who I know hasn’t stopped thinking about that kiss.”

  “You know absolutely nothing about me so don’t sit there and pretend like you do.”

  “Fine, I’ll be the mature one that’s honest shall I? There is nothing sick and twisted about this.” His voice dripped with sexuality and tinged with promise. “And I won’t be attempting to fuck you so I definitely won’t be going anywhere near your pants. That’s a promise.”

  “You just called me, and I quote, insanely sexy, yet you don’t want to touch me. You are all kinds of messed up.” I rolled my eyes before staring at him. I had no clue what kind of game he was playing at, but it was a game that I was slowly yet surely being dragged in to.

  “I said I won’t be fucking you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t constantly be thinking about fucking you.”

  Hearing those words allowed the breath I was holding to leave my body. One month. Who was I trying to fool? I knew the decision had already been made the moment he asked the question. He had given me no choice. I couldn’t deny that Ky Crawford’s ability to captivate me ignited that very first time I met him and that was what was dangerous. He was dangerous to everything I had desperately tried to become in the last four years, but more terrifyingly, he was dangerous to everything I didn’t want to remember.

  “What would this month entail?” Regret filled me the moment the words tumbled from my mouth, but my attentiveness to hear his response made me lean in closer.

  Ky’s lips curved dangerously, a knowing smirk took over his too handsome face. I witnessed the exact moment he realized he had me. What the hell was I doing? His body pressed back against the seat, and he sat in complete silence observing me like I was some kind of sick prize.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” I spat, averting my eyes from his. I couldn’t stay here. Why the fuck couldn’t I just learn to say no? Really, was it that hard? It was a simple word, but here I was at twenty-four years of age, and I couldn’t say it.

  “Like what?”

  “Like I’m a prize. That’s not me, Ky, and I am not going to be a toy you can play with when you desire. That will never be me.” I shoved my laptop into my satchel then slid my body along the leather booth desperate for a reprieve. I needed to leave.

  “Eden, wait.” Ky shot up from his seat so fast that I never had a chance to escape. His hand grabbed hold, his fingers wrapping firmly around my forearm just below my elbow and instantly diverted my escape plan. My eyes fell to his hand as my breath caught in my throat. Our gaze collided and everything around me disappeared into a vortex of silence and calm. A mixture of fear and anxiety swept over his face as he watched me so intently. It confused me. What could he possibly have to fear when it came to me? “You are definitely not a toy Eden. You would be the greatest prize. Always the greatest prize. I know you can’t say no, and I am a bastard for using that against you, but I promise you it’s for your own good. It’s time you started saying yes for the right reasons, and if I need to demand this time I will. So Eden, I’ll ask you this question one last time, will you be my December?”

  “I am going back to San Fran in January.” The words fell from my lips without a single thought.

  “I don’t care. I am not looking for a relationship with you Eden; I am looking for nothing but your time for the next four weeks. I will ask you things that will make you uncomfortable; I will do things that may make you anxious; I plan on taking you out of this comfort zone that you believe is reality.”

  With his pleading eyes staring at me, I took everything of what I knew of Ky Crawford in. I couldn’t understand his reasoning behind this, but I couldn’t deny the rumblings within my dormant body. Why would this guy want to spend time with someone he barely knew? What was so enticing about me? How could a man with a face like his and a body that oozed sex appeal want someone like me?

  But I didn’t really have a choice, did I?

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  Eden Rivers was seconds away from saying yes to my absurd request, seconds away from handing over her mind, her body, her everything on a fucking platter for me to feast on. What the hell had I done? My mind bounced through the conversation, and landed on my asshole question. I never thought she’d agree to this. I thought Tori had been fucking around with me. Eden shouldn’t have agreed to this. Why did she agree to this?

  I slid back into the booth and fell against the leather of the bucket seat. My eyes traced her steps as she walked through the diner and out the door. She stopped on the sidewalk and turned back, gazing into the diner; the moment her eyes connected with mine, I felt something shift. I might have proposed the fucked-up month idea, but she had cemented something within me. She had created unease within me. How in the hell was I meant to keep my hands and mouth off her for a month?

  My urge to spend time with her was too much; why couldn’t I just do what a normal person would do? I was featuring her work for God’s sake; it wasn’t like I wouldn’t be seeing her. I was pissed that she assumed this was a game. I would never do that to her. I had my own secrets when it came to Eden Rivers so I needed to be careful with how I played this out. It would just be a few outings, maybe some dinners. I wanted to show her that not all men’s main goal in life was to get their dick in her pussy. I wouldn’t be anywhere near her pussy. I couldn’t. I promised.

  I doubt she realized she had me gripped by the balls and now I was locked in. What was happening to me? Since when had I not been at work as the sun was rising; since when had I purposely come to the diner that I now knew she visited?

  “Be careful with her.”

  I broke my eye contact with Eden and turned to face Tommy. He stood beside the table desperately trying to look threatening. I leaned back and folded my hands behind my head and waited for him to continue. I had seen him watching Eden and me from the minute she slid in across from me.

  “She isn’t like other girls around here. She is special. Don’t fuck with her head okay?”

  “And how do you know that I am going to fuck with her head? How did you become such an expert on Eden?”

  “I am her cousin’s best friend. I know a lot about her. She doesn’t need a cocky self-obsessed asshole from the city screwing her over.”

  Who the fuck did this kid think he was?

  “Just because you see me come in here doesn’t mean you know jack shit about me. So why don’t you run along and leave me be.”

  His eyes turned to slits and his mouth opened and closed numerous times as if he wanted to say something to me, but he quickly twisted around and stalked back to the counter only to disappear into the storage room. Fuck me. I didn’t need some pissed off eighteen-year-old telling me what I already knew.

  I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket and opened up a blank text message. I needed to speak with Ashlyn and fast. She would make me see some sense. Either that, or she’d rip my balls clean off my body. That would probably be the best thing to happen at the moment.

  Ky: Ash, where are you working today?

  Within seconds Ashlyn’s name flashed before me.

  Ashlyn: Pier 63, on-set job. What’s up?

  Ky: I did something.

  Ashlyn: I don’t even want to know. Come down, I’ll take a break.

  I looked at my watch and realized that I had already missed a scheduled meeting. First time for everything I guess. Josh would have a field day with this. I closed my laptop and stood from the booth. It would only take me ten minutes to get to pier 63, ten minutes until Ashlyn would tell me how much of a dickhead I really was.

  The pier was a fanfare of models, photographers, and stylists. Why they had decided to have an outdoor shoot as the temperature dropped rapidly was anyone’s guess. I shoved my hands in my pockets in desperate search of some warmth and headed down the beach toward the photographer whom I knew as Alessandra. The moment she saw me, a wide grin spread across her face, and she announced for everyone to take f
ive. Alessandra and I went way back; she was a regular photographer at the magazine, and we had developed a close friendship. I had actually attended her and her girlfriend’s wedding just this past summer.

  “Sweetie you are looking as handsome as ever. Why are you not at work? This isn’t the Ky Crawford I know and love.” She leaned in and kissed both cheeks and stepped away, looking at me suspiciously.

  “This new Ky is because of a girl.” Ashlyn stood beside me, pushed her hip into mine, and raised her eyebrow as if to say you know I’m right.

  “You have a girl!” Alessandra’s screech brought the attention of everyone within a ten-mile radius of us.

  “I do not have a girl Less, Ashlyn is just being premature.”

  “Let’s hope you aren’t premature when it comes to Eden.”

  My best friend’s ability to say whatever was on her mind never ceased to amaze me. She spoke first and thought second. The smile and twinkle in her eye was a clear indication that she loved this torment a bit too much.

  “Ashlyn, seriously, are we really talking about my coming abilities in the middle of a packed beach. You and I both know that I have some killer stories.”

  “Jesus Ky, time and place.”

  “You brought this on yourself.” I turned back toward Alessandra who looked at Ashlyn and I like we were sickos. “Do you mind if I steal your stylist for a few minutes?”

  “Of course sweetie, we will break for coffee. Take your time.”

  Ashlyn linked her arm with mine, and we headed away from the crowd and down the sand of the abandoned beach. I knew Ashlyn too well. I knew she was desperate to break the silence but was waiting impatiently for me to make the first move. I would let her stew for a while. Fuck, I could be an asshole when I wanted to be but it was all for my amusement.

  “What did you do? Besides kiss her last night.”

  Ahh, there she goes.

  “I asked her to spend December with me.”