Be My December

by Rachel Brookes

  Panic reared to frightful life.

  Jeremy! Where the fuck was Jeremy?

  My body thrashed around in bed, my arms punching and legs kicking in grief stricken fear. I needed to run and get away from him. I couldn’t survive anything else. I had fought long enough, and I was too weak to continue. My husky throat rasped out a desperate scream which seemed to echo around the room. I just needed someone to hear me.

  “Somebody get in here!” A familiar soothing voice laced with panic floated from beside me allowing a flash of safety to hit me. “Somebody get the fuck in here.”

  Commotion sounded and a thump of footsteps came toward me. A familiar thickness lingered in the air indicating that there were numerous people around me. Fuck! He had a gang of people here. No! I clawed at the hand that grabbed my arm while fingers laced so delicately with mine, too delicate to be the monster. I was confused. What the hell was happening? The sheet lifted from my aching body and instantly I kicked my legs, wanting nothing more than to connect with whoever was taunting me.

  I whimpered as a sharp jab hit my bare thigh and my body went into an aided bliss. A soothing calm spread through my veins, a calm like I’ve never felt before. I felt like I was being transported to a world of endless rainbows and beautiful cuddling clouds where everything was in a trippy haze. Oblivion at its best.

  “It’s okay baby, I’ve got you.”

  That soothing voice again, the last sound I heard before I slipped back into darkness.

  ••••

  I woke to the same overpowering smell of disinfectant, but this time my head felt lighter and though my body still ached, it wasn’t excruciating like before. My eyes crept open, and I took in the room around me. A drip connected to my arm provided me with much needed pain relief that swam through my veins. My fingertips brushed against the gauze on my head and I realized I was in the safety of a hospital room.

  My eyes landed to the mattress beside my hip and my heart beat frantically in my chest. Perfect chocolate covered hair greeted my sight and it was then that I realized an arm was lightly lying over my hips.

  Ky.

  I couldn’t resist touching him. I needed to touch him to make sure this was real. I ran my fingertips through the softness of his hair and sighed as familiarity hit me. Ky stirred, and I felt his head shoot up and my hand fall back on the bed.

  I looked at him. A moment of silence passed between us and my stomach knotted. After he took in my injuries, his eyes glistened with tears.

  “Hey,” I said hoarsely and offered the best smile I could muster.

  “Baby,” he whispered, his voice laced with anxiety. “I thought I’d lost you.”

  “You won’t get rid of me that easily.”

  “I was so scared,” he choked out. My heart broke as a single tear ran over his cheek and dropped on the white linen sheet. His head dropped back to the mattress, and turned his face toward my body so I could still see his features. I lay there paralyzed with love and as his face fell, quiet sobs came from deep within his chest.

  Love.

  During the pits of my turmoil at the hands of Jeremy, everything hit me.

  I was in love with Ky Crawford.

  It was something I never wanted, something I never needed, but now it was the one thing I craved. Ky wanted to give me his complete love; the kind of love that had the ability to erase every painful memory and wrap itself so tightly around my heart that I would never be alone again. His love was the light I would need in my darkest days. It would be the strength I craved when I was in turmoil. It would be the comfort that I required to overcome my new nightmares of Jeremy.

  “Thank you for finding me,” I hushed in a whisper, my fingertip tracing his jaw tenderly.

  “I would have searched every inch of the world for you.”

  I closed my eyes briefly as the pain medication shot another blast of relief through my bruised body. I needed to know where Jeremy was. All I remember was passing out as craziness erupted around me in the hotel room. I remembered being in Ky’s arms and as soon as I felt safe it was almost like my body realized it could shut down.

  “Where is…Jeremy?” I whispered, my stomach churning at the mere mention of their names.

  “He's gone baby, he will never hurt you again.” Ky spoke so strongly with so much honestly.

  “What?” I choked out breathlessly.

  “Both of them were shot and killed on site. Douglas was protecting us.”

  I couldn’t be sure how long we stayed silent. My hand gripped tightly on his arm, and his eyes never left mine. Jeremy was dead. I said those three words over and over in my head as I tried to come to terms with what exactly that would mean. I could live without constant fear. I would be able to walk down the street without looking over my shoulder or looking at the shadows, waiting for evil to appear. It would mean the opportunity to close the door that had been left wide open for four years.

  “I’d never wish harm on someone but knowing that he can never hurt me or you again feels so amazing.” My head fell to the side, and for the first time in three long days, I felt my mouth curl ever so slightly into a smile. “I feel free.”

  ••••

  The door of my room flung open and suddenly I was surrounded by my parents, Ashlyn, Josh, and Ky’s parents. Ky quietly got out of the chair and went and stood by the window. My eyes traced his every step as I watched him shut down.

  “Hey pretty girl,” Josh whispered as he kissed my forehead tenderly. “We missed you.”

  “Baby girl, oh my baby girl.” Mom wrapped her arms around me so tightly that I gasped in pain. My dad simply nodded his head at me, and I knew that was his go-to move when his emotions were crippling him. Sue stood with Ashlyn and Josh, and I watched James walk over to his son. Ky fell into his father’s arms, and it broke my heart. Dad’s eyes traveled to where I was staring.

  “How about we leave Eden to get some rest?” his gruff voice announced. Mom pulled her body away from mine but not before flooding my forehead with kisses.

  “I had prepared myself for the worst. I’m so sorry,” Ashlyn whispered when she squeezed my hand, her eyes were rimmed red, and her bottom lip trembled as she spoke.

  “Do you really think you will get rid of me that easily? I need someone to go shopping with and drink cocktails Please go home with Josh and get some rest. I’ll be home before you know it.” She nodded and then grabbed hold of Sue’s hand and left the room. My dad and James followed, leaving just me, Josh, and Ky. Ky hovered at the end of the bed with his arms folded across his chest and a crease between his brows. I tore my eyes away from his as Josh stepped up beside me.

  He leaned down so his mouth fell to my ear and he whispered, “I’m glad that fucker is dead. I’m glad we have you back pretty girl. He was a fucking mess, it scared me. I thought I’d lost both of you.”

  “Thank you for taking care of him.” I returned just as softly.

  With a kiss to the side of my forehead, he moved away from the bed, gave Ky a pat on his back, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

  “Is it okay if I hold you?” Ky whispered so tenderly from the foot of the bed.

  “The thought of you holding me was the only thing that got me through,” I admitted honestly.

  Ky climbed onto the bed beside me and held me as closely as he could. Being in his arms again felt like true safety. I felt at home and a content sigh escaped my lips.

  “Eden, I need to ask you something, and it kills me that I need to ask this,” he whispered into my hair as his face kissed the side of my neck tenderly.

  He didn’t have to ask. It was the question that had been hovering in the air since I woke. I had seen the question sitting behind his eyes every time he looked at me and it was the question sitting on the edge of his lips every time he spoke.

  I turned my face and looked him square in the eye. “My body completely belongs to you Ky. I would never have let him do that again. I fought anytime he got close, because I knew I
only wanted to be yours. You were there with me the whole time, and you were the one I thought of when I felt like giving up. I fought for us, it’s the only thing I could do. I was so scared though. I didn’t know if I would be strong enough.”

  “I didn’t protect you though.” His voice choked with emotion.

  “You protect me every single day, and I love you for that.” My honesty filled the room and Ky’s body finally relaxed beside me. I couldn’t hold my feelings back any longer. Was it ridiculously soon? Whose right was it to judge? My love for Ky stemmed from his protection, his need for my safety, his desire to make me happy, to make me believe that I deserved to be loved. He was everything and more that I not only needed but also wanted. He would be my resolution, and I would be his redemption.

  “I love you so much baby, you are everything I want and more.”

  My tears fell freely at his declaration of love. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to his strong body, the body that I knew would protect me till its last day on Earth. Peace was in my grasp, and it was all because of the man who loved and saved me.

  “I want to go home, I don’t want to stay here. I hate hospitals.”

  Within seconds Ky had untangled his body from mine, slipped off the bed, and walked out the door. The emptiness hit me hard.

  Soon enough he was back in the room and now had a doctor in white holding a clipboard close to his chest standing beside him. His face was familiar to me, and instantly I remembered him from all those years ago.

  “I wish we were meeting again under better circumstances Eden.” Doctor Sully offered a weak smile, and his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes dropped down to the clipboard.

  “Mr. Crawford has informed me that you are looking to be discharged?” I nodded in response. “Before we can get to that we need to discuss your injuries. Would you like to discuss this in private?”

  “No, I need him here.” Ky grabbed my hands in his and sat in the chair beside my bed as we waited. “Please just tell me,” I whispered.

  His eyes dropped down to the clipboard in his hands. “You have bruising on your ribs, a cracked cheek bone, bruising to your face, and a cut to your forehead which required two stitches. You will have to spend the night here, just so we can monitor you, but you should be okay to go home tomorrow morning. I am assuming that you have somewhere safe to go and someone to watch over you.”

  “She has me, and she has my place.” Ky stiffened in the chair and looked at Doctor Sully square in the eye. When he said the next words, I felt myself stop breathing. “I will take care of her. Always.”

  My heart trembled at his words. He wanted to take care of me, he was talking about forever. I squeezed his hand and lifted it to my lips and lightly brushed his knuckles with sweet kisses. How could I ever thank him for everything he had done for me? His eyes met mine, and he looked at me like I was so breakable, but I knew this time I wouldn’t break. Nothing could shatter me because I had my strength right beside me.

  “You saved me,” I whispered.

  “Baby,” Ky muttered in a thick tone.

  “Ky, you saved me. Not just yesterday but from everything. You made me live again, you made my heart beat again, you made me believe that I could love and be loved.”

  “You are the one who saved me baby. You don’t realize what you’ve given me.”

  A cough sounded from the end of the bed. Doctor Sully looked between Ky and me and smiled.

  “I am going to make you an appointment to see Doctor Evans while you are here. It will be good to talk to someone who knows your background.” I nodded at his suggestion of seeing the psychologist who helped me so much four years ago.

  “But I think with this guy by your side you are going to get through this okay. Make sure you two take care of each other. I can see something special there.” Doctor Sully patted my leg and smiled sweetly then turned and disappeared through the door.

  “I think it would be a good idea to see Doctor Evans,” Ky said softly. He stood from the chair he had been occupying for hours and slowly climbed back onto the bed beside me. I moved at a snail’s pace and shifted close to him; my head resting on his chest. My spot.

  “I think so too.”

  “We can make an appointment before I take you home but now I think you should get some rest,” he whispered as he ran his fingers softly through my hair.

  “Okay,” I murmured as I felt myself slide into a deep slumber.

  The day dragged on and soon night fell as I dozed on and off. Ky stayed with me at all time. When the nurse came in for her afternoon and nightly rounds I woke. Ky still sat in the chair beside my bed. He was frowning in his sleep, arms folded on his chest with a small pout on his lips.

  “Your guy has been here since you came in,” the nurse whispered as she checked the dressing on my forehead wound. “He is a modern day knight in shining armor. I’ve never seen someone as distressed as he was when he carried you in here.”

  “He is definitely my knight in shining armor.” I smiled at the nurse and turned back to watch Ky.

  I could and would watch him for the rest of my life.

  The moment I brought Eden home, I felt a shift between us. Our relationship was lighter, it was free, and it was unbinding. We spent our days on the couch watching movies, in the kitchen cooking, or playing endless games of Monopoly. We had locked ourselves away from the world, and it was everything we needed. We spent our time healing, loving, talking, and sleeping. After being stuck in the dark, my light was finally back, and she was shining like a diamond.

  Eden continued to amaze me. For someone who had been to hell not once but twice, she was living life with a new vigor. For the first time she was making plans—she spoke of her dreams, her desires, and her needs.

  While she was healing, I felt myself slipping.

  Eden was the second chance at a life I had always wanted with her. She was my girl from the coffee house, my girl in the red jacket. She made me a better person; she gave me something to live for, to work for, and to love for.

  She was my future.

  It was as simple as that.

  Yet I feel like I have failed her.

  I couldn’t protect her.

  “We really need to stop falling asleep on the couch,” Eden groaned beside me. “I am aching everywhere.”

  I watched as she yawned and rubbed her eyes to life. She was adorable in the moments when she first woke up. My eyes traveled to the windows lining the far wall of the living room. It was sometime in the afternoon, and the sun was starting to fade. I hadn’t looked at a clock since we got home because time didn’t matter to us anymore.

  “We have dinner with the parents tonight. I have to start sharing you with the world again.” I kissed her neck softly, her arm falling over my stomach lightly.

  “I’ve loved that it’s just been us.” She rolled as best she could to face me. “I loved my Ky time.”

  Eden’s bruises had started to fade and her rib was slowly healing, but when she would move too quickly or twist the wrong way, her face would grimace as pain hit her. I hated that I couldn’t do anything about it. It made me feel weak.

  “I’ll go and run you a bath.” I suggested and shifted my body off the couch carefully as to not touch her.

  When I reached the hall I turned back to look at her like I did every time I was away from her. It was instinct. I needed to make sure she was always in my sight; my need to make sure she was safe was sky high. Eden pulled herself off the couch and was now in the kitchen tidying up from lunch. She looked perfect in my kitchen. She looked perfect in my bedroom. She looked perfect in my apartment.

  Her soft hums filled the quiet space as she finished fiddling around the kitchen. I could watch her forever. The moment she turned toward the living room, her eyes met mine. The sweetest of smiles hit her lips, and she chucked the dishtowel on the counter and made her way toward me. I watched her every step, taking in every sway of her hips. When she reached me, she grabbed my hands and brought t
hem to her lips, placing delicate kisses on my knuckles.

  The twinkle in her eyes danced, and she pulled me close so our bodies collided.

  “Will you make love to me?” she whispered. “I miss my boyfriend making love to me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I admitted my deepest fears. The thought of hurting her, of causing her pain, was unimaginable and something that I didn’t want to risk.

  Eden pulled on our joined hands, and we made our way down the hall toward our bedroom. The moment we got home from the hospital, I had unpacked her things and they now blended with mine in the drawers and her suitcase was packed away. My bedroom was now hers.

  “You would never hurt me Ky.” She lifted the shirt she was wearing from her body and slid her panties down over her hips until she stood before me like a naked goddess. My eyes drank in her curves, the curves that had destroyed me so many times. My fists clenched at my sides as I took in her flawless skin that was still peppered with the bruises caused by Jeremy. My eyes slammed shut at the thought of him like they did every time I would get a flashback of what I saw. I felt like a weak prick. She was healing and dealing with everything, and if anything she had come out stronger than I could have ever imagined and I was the one that was struggling with it. I lowered myself onto the edge of the bed and my head fell into my hands in defeat.

  “Ky look at me,” Eden begged, her voice sounding from in front of me.

  My eyes moved up her body until I met her desperate gaze. The light flooding the room illuminated her body, allowing her skin to glow like the moon dancing on the ocean in the dead of the night.

  “I am yours Ky. I’ve been yours since you screamed in my face at Delights and then bought me the best chocolate cake I’ve ever eaten.” Her lips curled into a smile.

  “I was half expecting you to tell me to fuck off and call me a caveman.”

  Eden’s hands cupped my face and her thumb ran over my lips. “You saved me that night Ky, and from that moment on, I needed you, and I will always need you.”