The Half-Life Of Hannah (Hannah series Book 1)

by Nick Alexander

  Paralysed by fear – I was convinced that if I moved it would make things worse – I screamed and then screamed again, specifically screaming for Cliff to come.

  He had to kick in the door to reach me.

  THIRTY-FOUR

  Brisbane 7th February, 2010

  Dear Cliff and Hannah,

  Whatever shall I do now?

  James.

  HORROR ON THE BRISBANE VALLEY HIGHWAY

  Two victims were dragged yesterday (Tuesday) evening from the wreckage of a Holden Commodore on the Brisbane Valley Highway just north of Ipswich.

  Judy Parker ( 32 ) of Brisbane, was trying to push the car to the roadside after apparent engine troubles when the accident happened.

  Witnesses who had stopped just after the junction and were returning to help, watched horrified as a petrol tanker appeared over the brow of the hill and without braking ploughed into the Holden.

  Judy Parker died on impact, Hannah Parker ( 6 years old ) died later in Brisbane Central Intensive care.

  The driver of the truck and the two witnesses, currently unidentified, are all currently being treated for shock.

  Police and ambulance services were on the scene of the accident within twenty minutes which Chief Constable Dower of the Brisbane police pointed out was extremely fast considering the location. “We have launched a full investigation into the cause of this horrific accident,” he said.

  The Brisbane Times sends its condolences to James Parker, husband and father of the deceased.

  THIRTY-FIVE

  By the time James and Hannah return, everyone except Jill is up. Luke and Aïsha are sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water.

  “Hannah, can you tell Luke the new mask we got is OK?” Aïsha asks as Hannah passes. “He won’t use it.”

  “It is OK, because it’s plastic,” Hannah confirms. “So it can’t smash. But you can’t use it until the dressing comes off anyway. Did Dad change it yet this morning?”

  Luke nods. “And I took my pill,” he says.

  “Good,” Hannah says.

  James crouches down beside the children and tests the water with one hand. “It’s warm!” he says.

  “It’s heated,” Aïsha tells him.

  “I might go for a swim later then,” James says.

  Hannah continues to the front of the house, leaving him talking to the children. As she reaches the front door she hears echoey voices drifting from within. Angry sounding voices.

  She pauses and holds her breath. “...tell her.” Tristan is saying.

  “It’s none of your fucking business,” Cliff replies.

  “Fine!” Tristan says, and then a door somewhere slams.

  Hannah does her best to fix a neutral expression and then heads indoors.

  “Morning,” Cliff says when she reaches the kitchen. “Where were you?”

  “I couldn’t sleep. I showed James the river.”

  “Nice,” Cliff says, and she’s not sure from his voice if he’s being genuine or facetious. “How long’s he staying anyway?” Cliff continues.

  “I don’t know. Don’t you like him being here?”

  “I’d just rather we got back to normal.”

  “Normal,” Hannah repeats. “Yes.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning nothing, Cliff. Anyway, what was all that about?”

  “All what?” Cliff asks. His voice sounds neutral but Hannah notices that he averts his gaze. She sees that he busies himself with the coffee machine. It’s hard to dissimulate after fifteen years of living together.

  “You were arguing with Tristan,” Hannah says.

  “Oh that,” Cliff says. “That was nothing.”

  “It didn’t sound like nothing.”

  “Just politics,” Cliff says. “You know what he’s like.”

  Hannah stares at her husband’s back and frowns. Because yes, she knows what Tristan’s like, and she knows what Cliff is like, and two less political animals would be hard to find. “OK,” she says quietly, then, “Well, I’m going to shower.”

  At breakfast Hannah sips her coffee and watches everyone eating. She tries to decode the multiple tensions within the household and is surprised to note that the hub seems to be Cliff who is prickly with not only James but with Tristan as well. Even Jill, when she arrives, gets greeted with, “So you finally deigned to join us, huh?”

  Jill just laughs this off. “I didn’t know there was a schedule we had to stick to,” she says.

  By the time breakfast has been cleared it becomes apparent that the early morning mist is not clearing but intensifying. “Are they still predicting storms on the forecast?” Hannah asks Tristan.

  He nods. “But they’ve been saying it for days,” he says.

  “Can we go somewhere today?” Luke asks. “Can we go to Nice like what Aïsha and Jill did?”

  Hannah rolls her eyes. “When you can phrase that question correctly I might think about answering it,” she says.

  “Could we please go to Nice in the same way as what Aïsha and Jill have done yesterday?” Luke says, and everyone laughs at his convoluted attempt at correct grammar.

  “Cliff?” Hannah says.

  Cliff shrugs. “Why not?” he says. “I wouldn’t mind a dip in the sea.”

  “How about we do it tomorrow,” Hannah says. “Then Luke can swim without worrying about the eye patch.”

  “Sure,” Cliff says.

  “But what about today?” Luke says. “I’m bored.”

  “Why don’t you get one of the board games out,” Hannah suggests.

  Luke pulls a face.

  “I could put the badminton net up,” Cliff offers. “How would that be?”

  Luke glances at Aïsha who shrugs. He turns back to Cliff. “OK,” he says.

  Cliff ties the net between two trees and Hannah watches from the hammock as he thrashes first Luke, then Jill, and then Tristan and Aïsha at badminton.

  She tries to imagine, for the first time, Cliff’s feelings in all of this. He still assumes, she knows, that she and James slept together all those years ago. He has never said as much, but it was the only explanation she ever came up with for his overflowing anger at the time. Anger, which, judging from his badminton performance, is still very much alive today.

  She thinks about the fact that they have never discussed those events, initially because she was so angry herself that she was happy for him to think the worst, and then later because it had become such a dangerous taboo that no one ever dared mention it again.

  But watching Cliff swing angrily at the shuttlecock as he hammers James at badminton, she wonders if the time hasn’t come to release the pressure from that particular boil. But how to have that conversation now?

  By twelve, the sun has vanished entirely behind a dark bank of cloud. It still feels hot, in fact the oppressive nature of the weather makes it seem even hotter. Even the flies seem angry.

  With Cliff now forcibly removed from the badminton tournament – no one wants to play him – Aïsha and Luke are playing doubles against Jill. Cliff is reading on the porch, James is floating in the pool, and Tristan has gone to his room. Hannah levers herself from the hammock and heads indoors determined to interrogate him.

  As she passes Cliff, he looks up from his novel and asks her if she would like him to perform Luke’s midday change of eye-patch.

  “No,” she says. “It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

  “Luke!” she calls out. “Dressing!”

  Luke – provoking protests from his badminton partner – drops his racket and runs to Hannah’s side. “You’re keen,” she says.

  “It’s the last one, isn’t it,” Luke says.

  “You’re right,” Hannah confirms. “When you go to bed tonight, it’s all over.”

  She leads Luke through to his bedroom, sits him on the bed and pulls back the dressing. “How’s that now?” she asks.

  Luke blinks repeatedly and then looks around the room. “Fine,” he says.
<
br />   “Your eyebrow has healed too,” Hannah says, tracing it gently with her fingertip.

  “I hope I get a scar,” Luke says.

  “I hope you don’t,” Hannah counters.

  “So where’s Tristan going?” Luke asks as Hannah fills the eye-bath with solution.

  “I’m sorry?” Hannah asks, applying the plastic cup to his eye and tipping his head back.

  “Tristan,” Luke says, pointing behind her. “He looks like he’s going out.”

  Hannah puts Luke’s hand on the eye-bath to hold it in place and turns to look out of the window. Beyond it she can see Tristan loading suitcases into the boot of the Jeep. She stands and crosses to the window, then opens it and shouts, “Tristan!”

  Tristan turns and smiles at her. He looks a little sad.

  “Where are you going?”

  He shrugs and mimes driving.

  “OK, that’s enough, Luke,” Hannah says. “Just... just hang on a minute. I’ll be back to finish it.”

  Hannah bursts from Luke’s room and runs to the patio, past Cliff, and around to the front of the house where she finds Tristan in the driver’s seat of the Jeep, already fastening his seatbelt.

  “Tris!” she says breathlessly. “Wait!”

  She grips the edge of his door and Tristan, whose hand had been on the ignition key, relaxes his grip and drops his hand to his lap. “I thought I’d managed the perfect getaway,” he says.

  “Where are you going?” Hannah asks.

  “Sitges.”

  “In Spain?”

  Tristan nods.

  “For good?”

  “For good?” Tristan repeats, looking puzzled.

  “I mean, are you coming back here?”

  Tristan shrugs. “Maybe. To pick Jill and Aïsha up. We haven’t worked out the details yet.”

  “But why?” Hannah asks. “Has something happened?”

  Tristan shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “Not really. You know what I’m like around hetties.”

  Hannah tuts. “I thought you were getting bored,” she says. “I’m sorry it hasn’t been too exciting.”

  “It’s all a bit too exciting to be honest,” Tristan says. “It’s all getting a bit tense for me.”

  “The James thing?” Hannah says.

  “Amongst other things.”

  “Have you fallen out with Jill?”

  “No,” Tristan laughs. “No, not at all. But she’s busy with Aïsha and when she isn’t, she’s busy with Pascal.”

  “Is that still going on?” Hannah asks.

  “I’m just feeling a bit superfluous to requirements.”

  “And Cliff?” Hannah asks.

  She sees a hint of a shadow cross Tristan’s features before he masters them and morphs his expression to one of benign indifference. “Cliff?” he says.

  “You were arguing about something,” Hannah says. “I heard you. You’re not leaving because of something Cliff said?”

  He shakes his head. “Not at all,” he says.

  “OK,” Hannah says, unconvinced. “So how is Jill getting home?”

  “As I say, we haven’t got that far yet. She’s going to look at flights. But I might swing by and get them on my way home.”

  “OK,” Hannah says, twisting her mouth sideways to express disappointment. “Well, I’m sorry to see you go.”

  “Sorry babe,” Tristan says. “I might be back in a few days. But I just need some time with my own people.”

  “Sure. Well, drive carefully,” Hannah says, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “You’re important to me, you know? So look after yourself.” As she says it, she realises that this is true and feels strangely tearful at his departure.

  Tristan blinks slowly. “Thanks,” he says.

  Hannah releases the door and steps back. She watches as Tristan starts the engine and performs a three-point turn on the driveway.

  As he edges towards the gate, Hannah follows the car with the intention of closing the gate behind him, but then the car stops. “Hannah?” Tristan calls back.

  When Hannah catches up with him, she leans in the passenger window. “Yes?”

  “I think James is a really great guy,” he says.

  “Yes?”

  “Yes. Just so you know.”

  Hannah frowns. “He’s not gay, Tristan,” she says. “I would put in a good word for you but...”

  “I don’t mean for me,” Tristan says. “I mean for you.”

  Hannah inhales sharply. She stares into Tristan’s eyes which seem to be filled with meaning, only she isn’t sure exactly what that meaning is.

  “I care about you,” Tristan says, “that’s all. And you deserve to be happy.”

  “OK,” Hannah says, her brow creasing. “Thanks. I think.”

  “James is a great guy. And he likes you a lot.”

  Hannah laughs lightly. “Thanks,” she says, “but so is Cliff.”

  “Is he?” Tristan says.

  Hannah laughs again. “Well, yes.”

  “Do you know that?”

  “After fifteen years...” Hannah says, “yes, I think I know that.”

  “OK,” Tristan says. “Well...”

  Hannah turns to see Cliff rounding the corner of the house and heading towards them.

  Tristan follows her gaze and says, “OK, well, I’ve said enough. See you in a few days maybe.”

  And then just as Cliff reaches her side, he engages first gear and, spitting gravel, drives away.

  “Everything OK?” Cliff asks. “I had to finish Luke’s dressing.”

  “Of course,” Hannah says, patting his arm briefly, then turning towards the house. “Tristan’s gone away for a few days, that’s all.”

  “Right,” Cliff says flatly.

  They jointly close the gates and then Hannah heads to the pool, currently unoccupied. She removes her sandals and lowers her feet into the water. She reruns the conversation with Tristan through her mind over and over as she tries to decode any hidden meaning. It is, she decides, truly one of the strangest conversations she has ever had.

  Less than five minutes later, Aïsha appears at her side. “It’s Tris’,” she says, brandishing her phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

  “Really?” Hannah asks, taking the phone.

  “Don’t drop it in the pool, will you,” Aïsha shouts back as she runs away.

  “No,” Hannah tells her. “No, I won’t.”

  She raises the phone to her ear. “Tris?” she says.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m glad you phoned, I’ve been trying to work out–”

  “Listen, Hannah,” he interrupts.

  “Yes?”

  “I shouldn’t really say this, but...”

  “Yes?”

  “But I like you, so...”

  “Right. Well I like you too Tris.”

  “So check his phone, OK?”

  “Whose phone?”

  “Cliff’s.”

  “Check it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Check it for what exactly?”

  “Just check it,” Tristan says. “Discreetly.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with...” Hannah starts, but Tristan interrupts her.

  “OK, gotta go,” he says. “There’s a police car and I’m driving.”

  The line goes dead, and so Hannah lowers the phone from her ear and stares at the screen until it turns black, and then she sits and stares at her own face reflected in it.

  After a few minutes, she stands and returns to the patio where Aïsha reclaims her property. “Has Tristan gone?” she asks.

  “Yes,” Hannah tells her. “Yes, he has.”

  “Bummer,” Aïsha says.

  “Yes,” Hannah agrees. “It is a bummer. Where’s Jill?”

  “She’s gone to shower. We got all sweaty playing badminton.”

  “Thanks,” Hannah says, heading indoors.

  Hannah goes to Jill’s bedroom where she sits and waits. The room feels cooler. Is it cooler, or i
s it just because it’s painted blue?

  “Ugh!” Jill exclaims as she steps into the room. “God, you gave me a fright.”

  “Sorry,” Hannah says.

  Jill pulls the towel around her middle a little tighter and skirts around the bed until she is out of Hannah’s line of sight. “Don’t turn around,” she says, when Hannah starts to turn her head.

  “I think I’ve seen what you look like before,” Hannah laughs.

  “Of course you have,” Jill says. “But not for a few years.”

  Hannah raises one eyebrow and turns to face the dresser where she realises she can watch Jill in the mirror just as well. “So what happened with Tris’?” she asks.

  Jill drops the towel and finishes drying herself. “I don’t think anything happened, did it? You know what he’s like. He got bored. He’s gone to Sitges to get some man-love.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Tell you what?” Jill says, stepping into a sexy pair of panties.

  “That he was leaving.”

  “I thought he told you. Didn’t he tell you? Didn’t he say goodbye?”

  “Yes, but...”

  “Well then.”

  “But only because I caught him sneaking off,” Hannah says.

  Jill pulls on a pair of shorts and walks back around the bed. “There,” she says.

  “So you stopped waxing,” Hannah says.

  “You peeped.”

  “Erm, big mirror Jill,” Hannah says, nodding at the dresser.

  Jill rolls her eyes, and pulls a halter top from the drawer. “Yes, I stopped waxing.”

  “You used to have such a go at me about that,” Hannah says.

  “Well, we were young then,” Jill says. “It was the fashion. Whereas letting it grow wild is all the rage now.”

  “Is it?”

  Jill shrugs. “Apparently so. Shaven is the new unshaven or something. I mean, unshaven is, oh you know what I mean.”

  “So Tristan,” Hannah prompts.

  Jill starts to dry her hair with the towel. “What about him?”

  “I still don’t get why he left so suddenly.”

  “I told you,” Jill says.

  “He was bored then, that’s it?”