eyond Desire Collection

by JS Scott, M Malone, Marie Hall, et al

  Kara smiled at her friend weakly. “It’s hard to believe that you once hated him.”

  “I never hated Simon. I didn’t know him. I was just afraid he’d end up being a snake like his brother, Sam.” Maddie’s voice was soft, but it held a trace of bitterness. “It’s pretty clear that he’s not. He adores you, makes you happy. For that alone…I love the guy. But he’s also a very good person. He’s helped me keep this free clinic afloat with his donations.”

  The money that was donated belonged to Sam too, a charitable gift from the Hudson Corporation, but Kara wasn’t about to mention that fact to Maddie. Sam Hudson and Maddie had a past--and things obviously hadn’t ended well. Maddie never wanted to discuss it, but Kara knew that neither one of them were exactly over it, even though Kara surmised it was an incident in the distant past. “Sam’s a good man, Maddie. He saved my life.”

  “Yeah. After he insulted you,” Maddie snapped, irritated.

  “He’s not perfect, but he has a good heart,” Kara argued. Sam had been an ass the first time she’d met him, but over the last year, Simon’s brother had become dear to her, like a big brother she had never had. And he had saved her from two deranged criminals, risking his own life for hers. She’d forgiven Sam a long time ago for his actions at Simon’s birthday party. He’d been a perfect angel since that incident.

  “He’s a man-whore,” Maddie muttered fiercely.

  Okay. Kara couldn’t really argue that point. But Kara suspected Sam went through women like a surgeon went through rubber gloves because he’d never met the right woman. Or, he had met the right one…and she had gotten away. Sam never dated a woman worth keeping; he went out with superficial women who only cared about his status and money. They were all stunning to look at, but there was never any genuine warmth in a single one of them. Scanning Maddie’s flushed face and volatile expression, Kara had a feeling that Maddie was definitely a factor in Sam’s dysfunctional relationships with women. “Something happened between you two. Are you ever going to tell me what?”

  “No. It was a long time ago and it’s not important.” Maddie released Kara’s hands and rose to her feet, sending her stool backward with a practiced flick of her foot. “You need to start taking prenatal vitamins and see an OB doc.”

  “I’ll make an appointment with Dr. Shapiro.” Kara rubbed her tummy, still incredulous that she was actually carrying Simon’s baby. Boy or girl? She didn’t really care as long as the baby was healthy. However…she would love to have a little Simon.

  No doubt he’d be bossy and demanding like his daddy. And handsome, with dark eyes and raven hair, just like Simon. Kara smiled, her eyes dreamy, hoping her son or daughter also inherited Simon’s kindness, his generosity, his freaking off-the-charts IQ. Yeah, an adorable little replica of Simon would be incredible, and Kara knew Simon would be a wonderful father. If he wants to be a father. Strangely enough, she knew he would fall in love with the baby, even if he was initially reluctant. He’d spoil the baby shamelessly, the same way he spoiled her. Problem was, Kara didn’t want to force Simon into fatherhood if he wasn’t ready for it. Not that she had much of a choice now.

  Maddie nodded her head. “Katherine Shapiro is an excellent OB. Good choice.” Seeing the distant look in Kara’s eyes, Maddie snapped her fingers in front of her face. “Hey, where are you?”

  Kara’s head jerked up, meeting Maddie’s eyes with a guilty look. “Um…sorry. I was just thinking about the baby.” And Simon. Always Simon.

  “Are you okay? I know this was a shock.” Gently, Maddie rested a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about the moodiness and being emotional. It’s hormones. Tell Simon and let him help you. He’ll understand your emotional behavior once he understands that it’s caused by your hormones and pregnancy.”

  Kara gulped, wondering if he would understand. Dear God, she loved him more than anything or anybody else on earth. What if he didn’t understand? Hopping off the exam table, not really wanting to think about Simon’s reaction, Kara muttered, “I’d better get back to work,” She was here in the clinic for her weekly volunteer shift and Maddie had patients to see. “Thanks for taking the time out to check me over. I thought I was losing my mind.”

  “You’re pregnant. Pretty much the same thing,” Maddie answered with a touch of dry humor. “Go home. The schedule is light for the rest of the day. I can handle it alone. Go and talk to Simon. You both need time to get used to this.” She pulled Kara’s unresisting body close and hugged her fiercely. “Everything will be okay. Simon loves you and you love him. You’re getting married in a month and you can’t cancel the wedding-I already have my dress!”

  Kara hugged Maddie back, clinging to the petite woman for an extra moment. After Simon, there was nobody she loved more than Maddie. “Thank you, Maddie,” she whispered softly, tears welling up in her eyes.

  Oh, Lord, not again. How many times could one woman cry in a single day? I can count the number of times I’ve cried in the last five years on one hand, most of them because of something sweet that Simon did for me. I’m turning into a damn broken faucet that’s constantly dripping water.

  Emotionally, Kara knew she was a mess, her emotions swinging radically from one extreme to the other. Not even her damn body was her own anymore. She craved Simon’s hot body every moment of the day. Sure, she’d always been like a female in heat whenever he was near, but now, she wanted to jump his bones every other second. Simon was insatiable, but Kara was betting she could easily surpass him in the carnal need department right now. And then, there was her growing urgency for food, cravings so strong they compelled her to seek out the strangest foods like a crazy woman. One day it was a hamburger, the next day it was chocolate. Today, it was ice cream. She’d do just about anything for a large bowl of the chocolate sundae gourmet ice cream in the fridge at home. Or maybe a gallon or two. Her stomach rumbled aloud at the thought.

  Maddie’s laughter flowed lightly over the room. “No morning sickness, I take it? Cravings?”

  “Food and sex. Sex and food. Which one is more important, changes frequently. I’m a little queasy in the morning, but it doesn’t last long and then I’m eating like a horse for the rest of the day. Sometimes I crave things that I don’t even like. How could I have not suspected that I might be pregnant?” Kara answered, annoyed that her brain wasn’t in control of her actions anymore. “If you’re sure you don’t mind, I think I’ll go home. I have to tell Simon, so I might as well get it over with.” Honestly, she wanted to tell Simon as soon as possible and hope he forgave her for treating him so poorly that morning. The look on his face earlier was nagging at her, tugging at her heart.

  Maddie snorted as she turned Kara around and pushed her gently toward the door. “You volunteer your time here, Kara. Every damn week, even though you have a full-time job at the hospital. I’m grateful for your help, but you don’t have to ask permission to leave. I’ll be fine.” Maddie hesitated before asking softly “You said you were scared? Do you mind if I ask why?”

  Kara shook her head slightly. With her hand on the doorknob, she stopped, and turned her head to look at Maddie. She didn’t mind her friend asking, but she wasn’t quite sure she could even explain. “Have you ever had something happen to you, something so good that it’s hard to believe that it’s even real?”

  Maddie hesitated before nodding slightly. “Yeah. Once.”

  Kara had a feeling her friend truly did understand. “It’s like that with Simon. Sometimes I need to pinch myself to make sure that I’m not dreaming, that he’s real, that he loves me. I guess I’m afraid that something this good will somehow be taken away, that it isn’t forever.”

  “You lost your parents at the age of eighteen and didn’t have any other family. Maybe it’s the memory of that loss that makes all of this so scary, so terrifying to feel the way you do. Everything seems amplified when you’re pregnant and you’re running on emotions,” Maddie answered thoughtfully.

  Kara’s eyes widened as
she thought about her friend’s statement. Had the death of her parents made her afraid of loss? “That’s possible. I guess I just want Simon to know how much I love him and that it’s not about his wealth. I’ve been scared lately, afraid that he won’t understand that I love him for the man he is and not his money.”

  “The problem is, he already knows that.” Maddie let out an exasperated sigh. “He isn’t seeing your gestures to protect him or prove your love for him as reassurance, Kara. He’s seeing it as rejection, a refusal to accept all that he is. Simon might have grown up poor, but he and Sam busted their asses to become successful. It’s a major accomplishment in his life and you want no part of it.” In a gentler voice, Maddie continued, “I understand what you’re trying to do and I get that you’ve always been independent, but if your positions were reversed and you had more money than Fort Knox, wouldn’t you want to share it with Simon, make his life easier after living a life of poverty?” Maddie waited until Kara nodded before continuing. “In his own screwed-up way, he’s trying to take care of you. Sometimes men connect their own self-worth with their ability to take care of the woman they love. Yeah, it’s old-fashioned and ridiculous, but true. Believe me; Simon has never had any question about you being a gold-digger. That’s your hang-up, not his.”

  “I do accept him. I don’t reject any part of Simon. I admire the way he and Sam pulled themselves up from poverty and…”

  “Then for God’s sake, drop the prenup idea and let the guy buy you stuff. If it makes him happy, what does it matter if he spends his money to give you something? You deserve it and he knows you aren’t after him for his money. But you need to accept that he’s richer than God and anything he gives you won’t make even a tiny dent in his net worth.” Maddie put her hands on her hips as she finished, giving Kara an admonishing stare.

  “He already buys me things. More things than I need.”

  “Yeah. And you fight him over it. I understand that you’ve lived with almost nothing your entire life, so you think you don’t need anything. You’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’re marrying one of the richest men in the world. If he were trying to buy your love or could only show his affection through material things, that would be a problem. But that’s not true in Simon’s case. He’s just trying to be thoughtful, trying to take care of you. I say…let him do it and enjoy the things he gives you without feeling guilty. If you really want him to be happy, let him spend his money on you. Compromise. You’re still living in survival mode, counting every penny you spend. I get that. But you don’t need to do that anymore and Simon doesn’t see his spending as extravagant. He sees it as normal because he’s become accustomed to being wealthy. Understand?”

  Kara stared at Maddie, comprehension dawning slowly. Compromise? Wasn’t that what she had always thought she was doing? But was she really? Had she ever really tried to understand Simon’s side of the money issue? Groaning inwardly, Kara realized that she still never bought anything that wasn’t vital to her survival and she chastised Simon whenever he spent any money on her. For Simon, his gifts had been normal, equivalent to his lifestyle. They may have seemed over the top to her because she had always lived in poverty, but she was starting to see how Simon could interpret her behavior as a rejection.

  “How did you ever become so wise when it comes to men?” Kara asked Maddie, knowing her friend rarely dated and had been raised in several foster homes.

  Maddie shrugged. “It’s easy to see as an observer. Harder to recognize when you’re actually emotionally involved. I’ve watched you and Simon for a year now, seen your reaction on your birthday, Christmas, and any other time he gives you something nice. Instead of accepting his gifts with a smile, you chew him out for spending money on you. And I’ve seen his injured looks. He thinks he’s giving you something that will please you and it doesn’t. I think it’s hard on his ego.”

  “Oh, God. I’m such a bitch. I didn’t know. I didn’t think about it that way.” Tears sprung to her eyes. Oh shit, don’t start crying again.

  “Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re a survivor. Your attitude has gotten you through a lot of challenges in your life. There’s no shame in that. I’m just saying that it’s time to let go of that particular defense mechanism and relax a little. Let Simon give you some nice stuff, take a nice honeymoon. The man has a private jet. Use it.” Maddie scooped up Kara’s test results from the exam table. “Try to go somewhere other than Disneyworld this time.”

  Kara smiled at Maddie weakly. Disneyworld on her spring break was the only vacation Kara had ever allowed Simon to give her. “Hey, I wanted to go to the Magic Kingdom. I’d never been there before. It was wonderful.”

  “Save Mickey Mouse for after you have the kid. Let Simon fire up that jet and whisk you away to someplace romantic. There’s plenty of time for family vacations later.”

  Kara grinned. “London? Paris? Italy?” They were all places she’d love to visit, but didn’t think she could ever afford.

  Maddie smiled back at her and winked. “Now you’re talking. Think big. Very big. I have a sneaking suspicion that Simon wouldn’t mind a very long honeymoon.”

  Kara opened the door and stepped through it, making her way to the front of the clinic with Maddie close behind. Scooping up her jacket from a hook near the reception area, she asked Maddie quietly, “You’re going to have to deal with Sam for my wedding. Are you okay with that?”

  Maddie’s spine stiffened visibly as she reached for a file on the reception desk in preparation for her next patient. “Of course, He’s nothing to me.”

  Hmm…Kara doubted that. “If you spend some time together, you might discover that he isn’t quite the ogre that you think he is. Maybe he’s matured since you knew him.”

  Maddie shot her a doubtful look. “Pleeeze! I do read the newspaper and magazines. The man still has a set of horns underneath those golden curls of his. Don’t hold your breath on that assumption. You might pass out, and it wouldn’t be good for the baby.” She followed Kara out the door and into the reception area. “Headed for home?”

  Kara slipped her arms into her jacket and zipped the front, a mysterious smile on her face. “Shortly. I have some shopping to do first. It is Valentine’s Day. I need to pick something up and hit a few other stores. I had my lucky penny made into a medallion with a men’s gold chain for Simon so he can’t give it back. The jeweler was able to do it without ruining the integrity of the coin.” The coin collector in Simon would have flinched had she made the rare penny into a piece of jewelry that would destroy the rare coin. “I need to pick it up at the jewelry store.”

  “I guess it is Valentine’s Day. I actually forgot,” Maddie answered, her expression distant and slightly sad.

  Kara said her goodbyes and slipped out the front door, sending a silent Valentine wish to Cupid for Maddie to find the extraordinary man that her friend deserved.

  Chapter Three

  Simon paced his computer lab like a caged tiger, knowing the thoughts he was having about Kara leaving him were probably irrational, but he wasn’t exactly feeling levelheaded at the moment. He’d felt better after Sam had left-his brother had talked some sense into his thick head-but after getting a text from Kara telling him that she would be home later than normal, he’d gotten anxious all over again, expecting the worse. He hadn’t been reassured by her responses to his text messages, which had been incredibly vague. The only positive had been the fact that she had sent him a message telling him she loved him.

  I love you so much. I’ll be home soon.

  Simon stopped pacing long enough to trace the words she had typed in her text message, hoping they would lighten his mood, give him hope. And maybe they would have, but he spotted that damn premarital agreement on his desk out of the corner of his eye, making him grunt with irritation.

  Maybe I should have just signed it if it would make her happy. What does it matter? Is a stupid piece of paper really that important? He’d always take care of Kar
a, regardless of whatever agreement was signed.

  Simon snatched up the contract from his desk and flipped the pages. Gritting his teeth, he picked up a pen and signed his name with angry strokes. Slamming the pen on top of the papers, he muttered, “Fine. It’s done. The world isn’t going to end because I signed the stupid thing.” He was never leaving her, and he’d move heaven and earth to keep her at his side. The damn papers could just rot, collecting dust in some quack attorney’s office, while Simon lived his life with the woman he loved. “I just want her to be happy,” he whispered fiercely, hoping his signature would end her sadness. Kara’s behavior the last few weeks was making him crazy. His woman was usually so serene, so upbeat and positive, even though life had thrown her a very rough deal. It was hell seeing her beautiful face with anything less than a smile. If the prenup was what she needed to bring her peace, he’d sign a hundred of them. Sure, he might not like the fact that Kara had doubts about them, had thoughts about them someday separating, but he’d do whatever it took to convince her otherwise. Maybe she just needed more time. Kara had given him so much, most importantly her unconditional love and support over the last year. If she could put up with his cranky, irritated, scarred self-most of the time without complaint-he could sign a damn paper for her. “I should have done it before,” he said quietly, cursing himself for being so argumentative about something so trivial. He knew Kara was sensitive about their differences in financial positions. He’d hoped she would get over it, begin to consider the fact that what was his also belonged to her, but he guessed she just wasn’t there yet.

  “Should have done what?” The husky, feminine voice flowed over him like fine silk, lilting softly behind him.

  Simon turned, drinking in the sight of the woman he loved, his heart accelerating. “Should have signed the fucking papers when you wanted me to sign instead of fighting over it,” he told her in a husky voice, needing desperately to have her in his arms, feel her warm softness against him.