eyond Desire Collection

by JS Scott, M Malone, Marie Hall, et al

  “Or too bitter to bother, if you and Jacob don’t get along.” Kerri knew first-hand how things could fester, silently or otherwise, in a family.

  “I suppose.” Ethan pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Bottom line, it doesn’t matter who screwed up or how I feel about it. I have to fix the situation. I can’t let my family suffer because of personal issues with Jacob.”

  An unfamiliar lump started to form in her throat, and she swallowed before it could get any bigger. “You love your family.”

  He gave her an odd look. “Well of course.”

  “They’re lucky.”

  “Lucky? That’s a strange thing to say. It’s my pleasure and my duty.”

  A small fissure appeared in her heart. She couldn’t believe how he considered taking care of everyone who depended on him as natural as breathing. She wished for a brief moment that her family had felt that way about her too…that regardless of the men they’d lost because of her, they’d felt it was as natural as breathing to love her.

  She turned away, focusing on the view outside. She didn’t want Ethan to see her this vulnerable. Their arrangement didn’t leave room for any kind of soul-deep connection. That was for more permanent relationships.

  The sun shone, the world brilliant and optimistic around her. She dropped her gaze and noticed an “I Miss You” greeting card propped on the windowsill. Probably from a woman, given the ungodly amount of pink and lace on the expensive-looking paper.

  As a child, Kerri had loved pink until she’d found a box full of boys’ toys in the garage one day. She’d decided to be more like the boy her grandfather had apparently wanted. Maybe if she’d shown more interest in baseball and soccer, Barron would’ve spent more time with her, paid more attention.

  She blinked as the old ache resurfaced. Why was she even thinking about a pointless memory? Even if she’d been born male, her grandfather couldn’t have loved her.

  With a great effort, Kerri relaxed her face until she managed a smile. Only then did she turn to Ethan. “Let’s go out.”

  “What are you in the mood for?” he asked.

  I want to be away from everything. I want to run from the pain. I want to forget.

  “Anything. It’s too beautiful a day to waste, don’t you think?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Half an hour later they were at a small park. Her eyes no longer held any hint of shadows. Ethan had seen them in the study, and for a moment time had ceased to flow as he wondered what he’d done to make her sad.

  He hadn’t probed though. The way she’d turned away had demanded privacy.

  They walked together, their fingers entwined. Her skin was cool, and he squeezed her hand, giving her a bit of his warmth.

  Several yards away, young children played near a picnic table laden with food. Two thirty-something men in casual shirts and jeans were dealing with some burger patties on a grill while women of about the same age stood and chatted. A small boy cupped his hands around something, while his buddies circled him. They glanced at the lone girl and smiled the “we’re going to make a girl scream” smile. She didn’t miss a beat. She noticed the look and ran away before they could show her whatever it was they had. One of the women ran a hand gently over her head as the girl charged past, the affectionate gesture unconscious and natural.

  Though their linked hands, Ethan sensed tension run through Kerri. She was gazing at the picnickers. Her eyes glistened, then darkened with an old pain.

  A memory surfaced, unbidden; the way she’d looked at the christening party seven years before, the first time they’d met. In contrast to everyone else, grief had dulled her eyes as she looked at the baby.

  And here it was again, children together with some long-buried pain. Had she lost a child dear to her? He doubted she’d had any of her own. She’d been so young at the christening party, and the kind of career she’d had didn’t exactly encourage motherhood.

  Kerri blinked, and just like that her eyes were clear. If he hadn’t been watching her closely he might have never realized the sight of children had affected her at all.

  “A quarter for your thoughts,” she said, her tone overly casual.

  “A whole quarter? I’m flattered.”

  “Hey, you know. Inflation.”

  He debated telling her the truth, then decided against it. If she knew how much he’d noticed, she’d become even warier. “Just thinking that you’re beautiful.”

  “You are such a flatterer.”

  “You don’t think you’re stunning?”

  “Mmm…pretty, but not stunning. Your date at the ball was stu—” She bit her lower lip. “Sorry. Can’t believe I said that.”

  “It’s okay, I guess. Did you see pictures or what?”

  Her tone turned defensive. “On the Internet and gossip blogs. They sort of popped up on my tablet.”

  “I didn’t think you cared. You wanted me to go with somebody else.”

  “I don’t care.” Letting go of his hand, she turned to look at some geese waddling around the edge of a small pond. “Like you said, it was my idea.”

  “You don’t want to know about Elizabeth?” he asked.

  She said nothing.

  Stubborn woman. Ethan pressed his lips together with frustration. He’d wanted her to be jealous, even if it had been her idea. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was trying to get out of their relationship. Did she still want a temporary arrangement? Was she trying to decide on the precise date she’d walk out?

  No. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Not until they found someone else they’d rather be with. Ethan would make sure that no one else could compare to him.

  “She’s a childhood friend,” he found himself saying. His hands tightened. He’d never felt compelled to explain himself to anybody. Certainly not to a woman who was determined to keep him at arm’s length.

  “You must be close,” she remarked, though her shoulders seemed slightly less tense now.

  “Like brother and sister.”

  Kerri nodded. “Is she going to be your date for other functions too?”

  “I prefer that you come with me.” He put his hands on her arms and turned her around. “Why don’t you want to be seen with me?”

  She didn’t meet his gaze. “Don’t be silly. I’m being seen with you right now.” She gestured at a group of high school kids nearby. “See? Right over there. The general public.”

  “You know what I mean,” he ground out.

  She hesitated, still refusing to look at him. Ethan felt out of his depth, the power dynamic working against him. She didn’t want to tell him anything, while he was sitting there explaining himself to her so she’d understand he wasn’t treating this whole situation like some kind of an extended fling. “I don’t have any clothes suitable for the kind of events you go to,” she finally said.

  He narrowed his eyes. “That’s a piss-poor excuse. We’ll go shopping if you don’t like the dress I bought you.”

  “Kind of out of my budget.”

  “Well it’s not out of mine. Since I’m the one who would be dragging you to those events, I’ll pay.”

  “I can’t let you do that. It’s above and beyond what we agreed to.”

  He crossed his arms. “Where in the contract does it say that we won’t give each other gifts?”

  “But it’s not a gift. There’s no occasion for it.”

  “You don’t need a special occasion to give someone a gift.”

  “Sure you do. Otherwise, it’s like you’re treating me like a mistress.”

  “I’m treating you like a mistress?” Ethan stared at her. “I’m treating you—? You’re the one treating me like some kind of gigolo. Nice enough to fuck in private, sure, but god forbid we be seen together in decent society.”

  “It’s not like that.” Her throat worked. She ran her fingers through her loose hair. “Look we can be seen, but I don’t want to be…photographed, okay? That’s why I can’t go to those kinds of even
ts with you. There are photographers.”

  Well, that was out of left field. Ethan stopped and stared at her, his mind working. “Why the hell would you not want—” Then it hit him. “You’re hiding.”

  “What?”

  “You’re hiding from someone. Or something. What happened?”

  She shook her head and looked away. “That’s not it.”

  “That is it. Did something happen in Hong Kong? A stalker, maybe?”

  Her eyes widened as she stared at him. “No! Look, Ethan. Not everyone wants to have their photos plastered everywhere. Not everyone wants fame and attention at the expense of privacy. I value mine, okay? Why can’t you respect that?”

  “Kerri, I do. But a couple of shots doesn’t mean somebody’s digging into your life. Most people aren’t going to recognize your name anyway.” This couldn’t really be about her privacy. The kind of people who attracted attention at those events tended to be celebrities. Kerri might have had a privileged upbringing, but she didn’t fit the mold.

  “All the same. I’m sorry, by the way,” she said stiffly, “if I’m making you feel like a gigolo.”

  He considered pressing for answers, then decided against it. She was obviously hiding something, but she wouldn’t reveal anything until she was ready. He wasn’t prepared to push hard…yet. Timing was everything.

  “Well…some aspects of the gigolo thing are okay,” he said. That drew a smile, as he’d intended. But something was definitely going on with her…and he was going to find out her secret.

  ***

  Kerri sighed softly. She was such an idiot. She’d ruined a perfectly nice walk by talking about Elizabeth.

  Kerri had wanted to be at the ball. To be in his arms. To dance and laugh and talk with his friends and acquaintances.

  But she didn’t want to face her family either. There was no way she could’ve gone when she knew Barron would be at the ball.

  Besides, with the confirmation of how poorly The Lloyds Development was doing, she had to be extra careful. She sighed inwardly at how complicated everything had suddenly become. She’d thought it’d be sort of fun to work for the enemy, but she hadn’t expected things to turn out the way they had. If anybody from the Lloyd family figured out who she was, Ethan would have hell to pay. Not because she had anything to do with the current trouble. But they would want a scapegoat, and the only grandchild of Barron Sterling would make a splendid target.

  She didn’t want Ethan to suffer because of her.

  Her family had already created problems for her, and she didn’t want them to create more. For once she was content with a man. She liked that she didn’t have to micromanage the relationship, including the precise timing of the end. Ethan had obviously already thought about that, and it was nice that he didn’t have any illusions about where things were going. That took the pressure off.

  So why did their arrangement leave her vaguely dissatisfied?

  Her job was done—well, too—and she needed to move on. She needed something that paid well to continue to build her savings. Having money of her own was the only way to be truly independent of Barron. All the Sterlings kowtowed to his every whim, including his directive to hide what had happened on the day she’d been born…and all because they needed his money.

  She took an empty bench and stared at the trees, their limbs swaying in the wind. The scent of fresh grass tickled her nose. Ethan settled next to her.

  “By the way, we need to meet with the executive team,” he said. “Make them realize we know how poorly the company’s been run and that the era of doing whatever they want is over.”

  “Um, ‘we’?”

  He nodded.

  “Where’s this going to happen?”

  “Houston. I already made the arrangements. First thing Tuesday morning.”

  Houston! She shook her head, staring straight ahead. “That’s just not going to work.”

  Houston was where her family lived. Going there would be crazy, especially given that she’d spent years avoiding the place. Good god, what if she ran into one of them? Her stomach lurched, and a bitter taste filled her mouth. She knew it was a slim possibility, but irrational fear or not she didn’t want to see any of them. Not her grandfather, not her cousins or aunts or uncles. No one.

  They would only end up hurting her, like they had done since…well, forever.

  “Your presence is required,” Ethan insisted.

  “But why? I’m not an executive, I don’t work for TLD. I’m helping you—temporarily—to balance your load at Global Strategies and your family’s company, nothing more. The executives will pay more attention to you if I’m not there as a distraction.”

  “But you’re not. You’re an asset.” He took her hand again. “You have the entire cash flow and balance sheet for the last five years memorized, don’t you?”

  She nodded reluctantly. How could she make him understand why Houston was the last place she wanted to visit?

  “See?”

  She should’ve never told him about her talent. Now that Ethan knew, he wasn’t going to let her demur and stay safe in Virginia.

  Still, she couldn’t just tell him no without a good reason, and she didn’t know what would be a sufficient excuse to stay back. “How long are we going to be in Houston?”

  “We’re flying there in the morning, then have the meeting and lunch with my brother Gavin, and fly right back. Sorry there won’t be any sightseeing or anything like that. Maybe next time.”

  “If it’s going to be such a short meeting, why don’t we try teleconferencing? Saves the trouble of flying out there.”

  “No.” Ethan was leaning forward, elbows on his knees. His hands flexed and the muscles in his forearms bulged. “I want to tell the board about the situation in person.” He glanced sideways at her, and his eyes were hard and dangerous. “I want to know how many of them have been cheating my family.”

  “I see.”

  Kerri couldn’t really argue. The plan was sound and logical, and he had every right to confront those who had done him and his family wrong. She shivered, almost feeling sorry for the executives.

  Would he look at her with eyes just as cold and merciless if he found out who her family was, even though she hadn’t had any contact with them for years? She hugged herself and leaned into him. No, he’d never find out. She had never told anyone about her family. Not even Natalie knew.

  Kerri would vanish before Ethan could get that close. After all, what they had was temporary.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The flight to Houston was surprisingly short and comfortable, the private jet stocked with every amenity Kerri could think of. But then Ethan wasn’t the type to do anything in discomfort unless he had to.

  Ethan half-sprawled, half-slouched in his seat. His charcoal gray suit looked shockingly conservative on him, especially given his boneless posture. But it didn’t disguise the fact that underneath the exquisitely tailored clothes was a hard body even more exquisitely sculptured. His rumpled hair made him look more approachable…and oddly younger and more vulnerable.

  Kerri checked her pantsuit again. It was crisply starched, a navy blue so dark it was almost black. Something slightly brighter might have been better, so she wouldn’t look like a mafiosa next to Ethan.

  “Don’t worry. You look fabulous,” he said.

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “Like someone capable of single-handedly laying off the entire board with just a glance.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

  “It is. Corporate cold-bloodedness makes you even hotter.” He spread out a little more, resting his right arm on the back of the seat next to him, and winked at her.

  Her lips twitched. How could anybody resist him when he decided to be charming? It was surprising that he could read her so well and knew exactly what to say and do. Most people avoided her when she was in this kind of mood.

  A uniformed limo driver came to pick them
at the airport. Tension gathered at the base of Kerri’s neck and spread to her shoulders as they drove deeper into downtown where The Lloyds Development’s office was located. The windows were slightly tinted, but she couldn’t help feeling like she was being watched.

  “You all right?” Ethan asked, his hand warm on hers. She forced a smile. “It’ll be okay. You probably won’t have to say much.”

  A hand-squeeze was the best she could do in response. Come on, Kerri. Would you be this nervous if you weren’t in Houston?

  She shouldn’t be so tense before a meeting. People would pick up on it, and that was never a good thing. No, she should project confidence and competence. There was no way Barron could know she was in Houston. If he had, he would’ve sent a welcome party to the airport. But no one had accosted her. She’d shaken the PIs, and her family—except for Justin—had no idea where she was. For all they knew, she was back in Asia.

  The limo stopped in front of a tall building of granite, steel and reflective sea-blue glass. The Texas sun shone off the eastern side of the building, and Kerri shielded her eyes behind a pair of oversized sunglasses. Ethan put a hand to the small of her back and escorted her inside. A tiny part of her was amused by the gesture, since it wasn’t something most business associates would do for each other. Still, she welcomed the anchor his hand provided. Anything to make her feel less vulnerable.

  Then they were through the revolving door, and the knot of tension eased. She took a shaky breath.

  “Feeling better?” Ethan rubbed her back gently.

  She nodded, squaring her shoulders and raising her chin. “Yes.” Inside the building, out of the public eye, she felt secure, her natural competence reasserting itself. She was too good at her job to let anybody from The Lloyds Development intimidate her.

  The elevator stopped at the top floor and opened into a high-ceilinged lobby that was all glass and honey-hued marble. A sharply dressed receptionist rushed out from behind a curved oak desk. “Mr. Lloyd,” she said. Obviously, they were expected.

  “Call me Ethan. Is everyone here?”