Lion's Lady

by Suzanne Barclay

  "It still strikes me as odd she did not tell you, especially after you convinced her you had not deserted her."

  "Not so strange when you know Rowena. She was ever a secretive little thing, afraid to reveal too much of herself and chance being hurt. Things happened so quickly and have been so unsettled, what with Alexander's schemes to be thwarted and all. Doubtless she was waiting for the right moment."

  "I suppose that could be."

  "Should she not have him abed by now?" Lion asked, scowling at the door.

  "I've heard tell it takes time to settle a bairn in a new place," Bryce said. "And they've been apart some time."

  Lion understood, for he found the separation from Rowena unbearable. "I hope she does not stay away apurpose, fearing to face me in case I deny the lad." The instinctive need to be with her propelled him toward the door. "I had better go and reassure her." He grinned. "And I've much to learn about this fathering business."

  Lion ran lightly down the stairs to the floor below. Even the sight of Kier standing guard outside the room did not dull his good spirits. Nodding to the glowering soldier, he gently pushed the door open.

  Paddy had removed his tunic and sat on the bed wearing only his hose. His mother knelt before him, pulling off a muddy boot. "I missed you, Mama," he said.

  "Not half as much as I missed you." Rowena reached up and drew him into her arms, rocking him gently.

  The poignant tableau brought the sting of tears to Lion's eyes. His lady. His son.

  "Hello," Paddy said, peering at him over her shoulder.

  Rowena started and turned. "L-Lion. I thought I would come to you later."

  "I could not wait." Aching to join the family group, Lion crossed the room and hunkered down beside them. "You've a pound of mud on you, lad." Needing to touch, he grazed the grimy cheek, so soft, so warm. "And you're shedding it everywhere."

  Paddy looked down at the dirt on the floor and the blanket. "I—I did not mean to." He looked stricken.

  "It is all right," Lion said. Damn, was the lad timid?

  "Da says a chief must set a good example always. I should have rinsed in the stable yard as he used to. Only—only I was tired and I missed Mama."

  Far too serious for one so young, Lion thought. "That is true, but trail dirt clings to laird and trooper alike. There's no harm done." He smiled and indulged himself by ruffling the lad's sweaty hair. "And I can well understand your being anxious to see this fair lady. She's a favorite of mine, too." He glanced at Rowena, hurt by her wary expression.

  "She is?" Paddy looked at his mother, then back at Lion. "Why?"

  "Because I lo-"

  "Laird Lion and I are old friends," Rowena said quickly.

  "Very old friends." Lion brushed his fingertips over her cheek, finding it as soft as her son's. Their son's.

  She batted his hand away and glared at him. "Jennie is on her way up with wash water for Paddy. I'm sure you will find the process of getting him clean lengthy and tedious. Why do I not find you later, and we can—can talk."

  "We can talk whenever you like, Rowena," Lion said gently. "But I'd stay and watch Paddy's bath…I've missed so many."

  "You do not have to take baths?" Paddy asked.

  "Aye." Lion grinned at him. "I've a big tub in my chamber with room aplenty for a lad and a fleet of wooden ships."

  "You have ships in your bath?"

  "I did when I was your age. Now I'd rather have your mama."

  "Lion!" Rowena exclaimed.

  "Mama! Mama, what's that?" The boy pointed toward the hearth, where Cat's ruffled head peered over the top of her basket.

  "It is a kitten."

  Paddy wriggled down from the bed. "A kitten?" He charged toward the hearth, skidding to a halt on his knees beside the basket. "What is it doing here? Whose is it?"

  "Yours, if you like," Lion said, joining him.

  "Mine? Really, Mama?" Paddy was already reaching to lift the kitten out of the covers.

  Rowena nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. She wasn't ready for this. Might never be. "I—I thought you were going to wait for me," she said to Lion.

  "I've waited long enough."

  "I—I do not want to leave him alone in a strange place," Rowena said, though Paddy was so wrapped up in fondling the kitten that she doubted he knew she was there.

  "I understand." Lion tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "But I did think you might fear I'd deny the lad was mine, so I came straight away to disabuse you of that notion." He cupped her cheek, desperate to ease the pain in her eyes. "He is the very image of my father."

  "Oh." She looked like a cornered rabbit.

  "All will be well, Ro," he murmured. "I will claim the lad and wed you…today if—"

  "Nay, Lion, it is not possible."

  "Of course it is."

  "Lion, you do not understand." Nor could she explain, not while he looked at her with such wonder in his eyes. Not while her own guilt tore at her like sharp claws. "Please, just leave us and I will come when I'm done here. We can discuss it then."

  "There is nothing to discuss, nothing to fear," he said with that pigheaded firmness she so detested at times. "I will take care of everything. We will be wed as soon as—"

  "Nay, Lion, you must listen," she whispered frantically.

  The door creaked open, drawing their attention.

  Jennie stepped into the room, bearing a tray of food and a furious expression. "Unhand her, you…you—"

  "Jennie!" Rowena leaped up, glad of the interruption, but fearing yet another unpleasant scene. "We are guests in Lord Lion's keep. Where is the bathwater?"

  Still glaring at Lion, Jennie jerked her chin over her shoulder. "The menservants are bringing it." Indeed, a trio of burly men entered, one carrying a pair of steaming buckets, the others dragging a small wooden tub. "Put it there by the fire," Jennie ordered. She set the tray on the table, then rounded on her mistress. "Are you all right?"

  "Fine. I—"

  "Jennie, see the kitten his lordship gave me?" Paddy held up the ball of purring fur.

  "Very nice indeed. Now put it in its basket while we see about getting ye shed of all this dirt."

  Paddy sighed, but did as he was told, settling the kitten into its nest, then wriggling out of his hose while Jennie filled the tub and dismissed the servants.

  Like a man in thrall, Lion watched Paddy at these mundane tasks, marveling at each gesture, each flicker of light on the features that echoed his father's. But even as he soaked up the details, he was conscious of Rowena's tension. Despite his reassurances, she was still as anxious as a doe facing a hunter.

  "Much as I'd like to stay for this, mayhap we had best go and have that talk," he said softly.

  She bowed her head, then nodded stiffly. "Jennie, if you could see to Paddy's bath, I'll be back to tuck him in."

  Anger flared in Jennie's eyes. "As if I'd let ye go off alone with this—this despoiler of—"

  "Jennie, I'm going of my own will, and I'll thank you to mind your manners."

  The maid sniffed. "I will…providing ye take Kier along in case ye've need of help."

  "I do not need protecting." Rowena kissed Paddy's grubby cheek, bade him behave and promised to return soon. Not that he seemed to care, his immediate attentions were focused on watching his new pet climb out of the basket.

  The walk up to Lion's chamber was the longest of her life. The moment the door was shut on Kier's glowering face, Lion drew her over to the window and into his arms.

  "Ach, lass, he's that bonny. You've done a fine job raising him." He hugged her tighter, his heartbeat slow and measured in counterpoint to her racing one. "I'm only sorry I wasn't there to take a part. Was it difficult?"

  "Raising him?" She shook her head. "He's always been a bright bairn, loving and eager to please."

  "Carrying him. Birthing him." He trembled. "Women die in childbed. I could have lost you and never known."

  "I was scarcely sick a day except in the begin
ning. That's how old Meg knew." With his arms wrapped securely around her, she answered his questions, told him when she'd first realized their loving would bear fruit.

  "Jesu, when I think of you waiting there for me. What must you have thought when I didn't come? Oh, love, if only I could have spared you that."

  "It was not your fault—I know that now."

  "But at the time, you must have been furious, thinking I'd run off to France." He shifted them to the bed, settling her on his lap. "Is that why you wed Padruig so quickly?"

  "Nay. Well, only partly. Mostly, I wed him because he would give my child a name and a future."

  "He knew you were pregnant?"

  "Aye. He'd overheard old Meg and me talking. If he was the answer to my problems, I was also the answer to his. He did not want Eneas to inherit the lairdship of Clan Gunn, but he'd had no luck fathering a bairn on any of his women."

  "Was he good to you?"

  Rowena sighed and considered her answer. "Padruig was not a gentle or loving man, though I suppose he may have been different with his mistress."

  "He was wed to you and kept another woman?"

  "Aye. It chafed on my pride some, especially when Eneas or one of his cronies would rub my nose in it, but actually, I was grateful, for it meant Padruig did not seek my bed."

  Lion tipped her chin up so their eyes met. "Never?" When she nodded, his eyes twinkled. "Ah, and that's a relief, for here I was eaten up by jealousy every time I thought of you in his bed." His smile dimmed. "For a time, I was even jealous that you'd borne him a son, and I fear I resented Paddy."

  "I can understand that." She only hoped he'd understand the rest of what she'd done. "Lion…"

  "Shh. None of that matters. We are together again, more in love than ever and the parents of a healthy lad." He fitted his mouth to hers, kissing her till the stiffness left her body and she was pliant in his arms, her hands and mouth clinging to him. Her response eased the doubts that had plagued him earlier. "I love you—" he whispered against her slick lips "—so much."

  "And I love you." But when she opened her eyes, they were filled with pain, not pleasure. "But we cannot be together."

  "What?"

  She struggled upright. "I told you of the oath I swore— that Paddy would be the next chief of the Gunns and we would stay—"

  "Paddy is my son."

  "I know. I know, but…" She scrambled off his lap, unable to stay and feel the emotions quivering through him. "But I swore on holy relics—and Paddy's soul. Would you damn his soul?"

  "Nay, but I would damn Padruig for forcing such a heinous bargain on you."

  "I swore of my own free will." She blinked back bitter tears. "I did not think to ever see you again."

  "Well, you've done more than see me, you've made me fall in love with you." He surged off the bed and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Dammit, I will not give you up. I'll not let you doom us both to a lifetime of unhappiness for some oath—"

  "You must." She placed her hands on his chest. "Padruig took us in, gave Paddy a name and a future so his clan would have a decent leader when he died. Much as I want to be with you, I cannot let him down."

  Lion stared at her intently, eyes burning. "I will not give you up, Ro. Not you or the lad. You are mine."

  "We are not things to be owned, like a horse or a sword." Frustration fueled her anger. "I made a bargain, and however much either of us may wish it was not so, I will uphold it."

  "Well, I intend to fight for you and the lad, Ro."

  "Nay, you will not. However much it hurts, you will let us go, for you are a man who believes in honor." She walked to the door, her knees shaking, her heart breaking.

  "This is not over," Lion said.

  She turned and faced him. "It must be."

  Damn, if he wasn't going to get drunk and stay that way till the pain passed, Lion thought, having sought refuge in his counting room with a pitcher of Glenshee's finest.

  He gulped down his fifth, or mayhap it was his sixth, cup of ale. The brew that had tasted smooth as fairy nectar the night before was bitter as gall today. And he, alas, was still stone sober. Sober and miserable, his gut rolling with a deadly mix of frustration and impotent rage.

  Her oath be damned! He was not giving them up.

  He'd…he'd hold them prisoner here, he'd—

  "Ah, here ye are," snapped a voice as coarse as gravel. A leathery old man glowered at him from the doorway.

  "Get you gone, Finlay Gunn, I'm in no fit mood to play host to you right now."

  "This isna a social call. I've a piece of business to discuss." Finlay limped in, settled his bulk in the chair across the desk and eyed the puddles of spilled ale on the polished surface. "Ye've been at this quite a spell."

  "So?" Lion said belligerently. Here, at least, was a focus for his anger. "If you've come to tell me you are leaving, I'll tell you straight out that Rowena and Paddy stay."

  Finlay's shoulders slumped. "When I heard ye were at Blantyre, I feared she'd take up with ye again."

  "What do you mean?" The moment he spoke, Lion knew that Finlay was privy to the truth. "You know about the lad?"

  Finlay nodded. "I'm the only one at Hillbrae who does, excepting for Rowena and her maid. Damn, I knew this would happen." He poured himself a cup of ale and downed it in two swallows. "I knew that if I didn't do something, you'd ruin everything Padruig worked so hard, to build."

  Lion stared at him, mind whirling. "So you sent Kier and Dunmore to watch over Lady Rowena."

  "Aye." Finlay poured more ale, sipped it slowly.

  "And mayhap gave them orders to get rid of me, as well?" It fit. It fit too horribly well.

  Finlay's head came up, eyes narrowing. "Never."

  "Ha! The night they arrived, two men tried to shove me down the tower steps and ended up falling themselves. Next day, both your lads had stiff backs…supposedly from the journey." Lion told him about the scrap of Gunn plaid left behind by the person who tried to creep in through his bedroom window. "I cut the man, and next day Dunmore claimed to have been wounded in a fight on the training grounds."

  "Coincidence."

  "Shall I put them to the test?"

  Finlay snorted. "Aye, ask away. We've nothing to hide. Look to Eneas if ye search for a murderous Gunn."

  "I suppose," Lion muttered. "You've nothing to fear in any case," he added bitterly. "She says she'll return to Hillbrae as soon as it's safe."

  "Because of the oath she swore to Padruig."

  "Aye, because of the damned oath." Lion stood and began to pace. "I love her, dammit, and she loves me, but because she gave her word to your cousin, she'll throw all that away."

  "We'd none of us love her quite so well if she wasn't that sort of person," Finlay said quietly.

  "Small comfort that will be to me," Lion snapped.

  "Mayhap when Paddy's grown…"

  "Aye, if I haven't died of a broken heart by then."

  Finlay stood and approached him warily. "Ye said ye'd not let them go."

  Lion braced his hands on either side of the arrow slit that served as a window. Through the narrow opening he could see the rugged green hills and the sky beyond—the lands he'd one day pass on to his son. "I could no more keep her here against her will than—than she could stay against her honor."

  "I'm sorry for that," Finlay said gently. "Padruig knew that he might die before the lad was of age, and wanted to ensure the clan was in good hands." He patted Lion's shoulder. "He never meant to hurt any of ye, only to save the Gunns."

  Lion nodded morosely. "I've met Eneas. If he was next in line for my title, I'd likely do as Padruig did."

  "Would ye?" Finlay looked away quickly. "I doubt that, but it's too late to change anything now." He limped toward the door. "We've kin at Chilton, three days west of here. Under the circumstances, I think it might be best if we went there till the danger's past and we can return to Hillbrae."

  "Nay."

  "I ken it's hard, but if you keep them her
e a few more days, it will only make the parting that much harder."

  Lion shook his head. These few days might be the only time he'd ever have with them. "It is not safe for you to travel."

  As if to punctuate his statement, a horn blast sounded from the gatehouse below the keep. Seconds later, Bryce pounded into the room.

  "An army's been sighted."

  "Eneas?" Lion demanded.

  "And Alexander, if we've read the banners rightly."

  Lion groaned. He spared one moment to send a prayer winging skyward, then began to issue orders for the defense of Glenshee.

  Chapter Seventeen

  "You mean Lord Lion was attacked and that is why he never met you that day?" Jennie asked in a hushed voice.

  Rowena nodded and looked across the chamber to the bed where Paddy slept. "How different our lives might have been if not for that ambush."

  "Do you think he would have wed you?"

  "Aye," Rowena said without hesitation. "He asked me to wed him today. Not asked, demanded." She smiled faintly. "He is like that—forceful and honorable. Aye, no matter his father's grand plans for him, Lion would have wed me in an instant."

  "But how can you wed him and keep your pledge to Padruig?"

  "I cannot," Rowena said. But she wanted to. "Padruig upheld his part of the bargain when he wed me and named Paddy his heir. I could not let him down or imperil Paddy's soul."

  Jennie sighed, reaching over to pat Rowena's tightly clasped hands. "I wish there was some way to change things."

  "Well, there is not." Rowena blinked back more tears.

  "I admire your strength, my lady."

  "Strong, ha! 'Tis all a facade, Jennie. On the inside, I am weak as water where Lion is concerned, which is why we must leave Glenshee as soon as we may."

  "Finlay will not argue with that. He was beside himself when Eneas sent word that Lion was with you at Blantyre. He sent Kier and Dunmore there posthaste with instructions to guard you as the king might his virgin daughter."

  Rowena smiled grimly. "They followed his orders with such zeal I wanted to bash their heads." But their presence could not stem the tide of true love. Her smile faded and the ache in her chest grew. If only…