Welcome To My World (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  “Am I too heavy?” she asked with alarm.” Put me down!”

  “Nope.”

  Cassie didn’t understand, so she went back to looking at Sheba. “I love baby animals.”

  “Me too. I once raised six abandoned kittens on a bottle. I had to take them everywhere in a box in my truck so they wouldn’t miss a meal.”

  “What happened to them?” she asked curiously.

  “They all grew into huge tomcats, good micers.”

  Unable to restrain herself, she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. “You are a sweet man! I can’t believe you like cats and have a baby named after you.” The idea of him caring about kittens warmed her heart. “If you want, I’ll make Jacob’s wife a commemorative candle if you’d get me his birthdate and weight and length.”

  “I’d like that, thanks. Jessie would really love it.”

  Cassie became aware where her arms were and she carefully extricated herself. “You can put me down now.”

  “All right.” Lowering Cassie to her chair, he reluctantly let her go. Unfamiliar feelings were clamoring in his brain. He felt like he’d been clobbered with a hundred pound sack of horse feed. Was what he was feeling real? He’d been involved with his share of women, but none had bowled him over like this delicate bit of femininity. If he thought hard enough about the whole situation, Bowie could make a case why getting involved with Cassie wasn’t the best idea. But for the life of him, not one reason came to mind at the moment. He paused, as she caught the railing with her hand, wanting one last look.

  “Thank you, Bowie. I’ll make the candle for you to show my appreciation. I’ll never forget this night,” she whispered.

  “Me either,” he murmured, meaning every word. How the night had shifted from a gesture of friendship to one he never wanted to end was a mystery.

  “Goodnight, Sheba,” Cassie called to the small camel as Bowie wheeled her out of the barn. Seeing how thrilled she had been at his impulsive deed, he determined to do more things for her. Anything to make her smile.

  After all, what were friends for?

  And no matter what else happened between them, he was determined to be her friend.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  On the way out to his truck, they were met with several more members of the menagerie, a German Shepherd, a calico cat and a beagle. “Stop, Bowie!” Cassie giggled as she leaned over to pet the affectionate animals.

  “Hey, you guys know better than to venture out this far,” he fussed good-naturedly as he picked up the cat so she could reach it easier. “We have big trucks coming in and out and we don’t want any accidents.”

  The beagle sat up on its hind legs and laid his paws on her knees. “Down, boy.” He was afraid the dog would hurt her. Watching Cassie with his animals made his heart glad.

  “He’s okay.” She cupped the back of the dog’s head. “What are their names?”

  “The calico is Jamison, the Beagle is Scrap Iron and the German Shepherd is Rebel.”

  “Very imaginative.” She complimented him and gave each animal one more pat of greeting.

  “Do you want to come in or do you want me to take you home?” Bowie rose and looked down at the delectable woman who was fast becoming important to him.

  “Home,” she said the word lowly. Of course she wanted to go in. But she had to remind herself that this friendship thing wasn’t going to work. Bowie was just too—everything. Already Cassie could feel a longing, a yearning, a need to be with him, to touch him—to make a place for him in her life. And even though his offer of friendship was genuine and generous, Cassie knew she couldn’t let it go further. Her heart was already getting involved, there was no way she wasn’t going to fall for him and since there was no future for them, there was no need to torture herself.

  It wasn’t long before Bowie had her back to his truck. He could tell by her expression that she didn’t like when he had to pick her up, and he didn’t think it was because she disliked his touch. “Quit worrying, Cassie. This is my favorite part.”

  She made a sexy little snorting noise. “Yea, right.”

  He started to set her straight, but Bowie didn’t know at the moment exactly what he was going to say. All he knew was that he needed to see her again. After making sure she was buckled up, he pushed her hair over her shoulder so he could fasten her seatbelt. “You know you have the sexiest hair in the whole world, don’t you?”

  “Hardly.” She huffed. His compliments were beginning to hurt a bit. After their confusing kiss, she was beginning to think she might possibly be a ‘project’ of some kind. After all, Bowie had a tender heart and appeared to take in strays. Yea, that was probably how he saw her.

  Bowie didn’t argue, he went around to his side of the truck and got in. They made the trip in near silence. He kept glancing over to look at her, but she was gazing out the window. Her profile was so delicate. She looked like a good blast of wind could carry her off like the down of a thistle. “Penny for your thoughts, precious.”

  “They aren’t worth a penny, Bowie.” She stopped talking until he had parked in her driveway.

  “Shoot, I don’t believe that.” He opened his door. “Just hold that thought until I get you in the house.”

  He came over and Cassie held her breath while once more he took her in his arms and gently placed her in the wheelchair, even helping her place her feet on the footrests. Cassie felt her whole body knot up. She couldn’t even imagine what he must be thinking. “Bowie, I don’t think we should see one another again.”

  Her unexpected declaration hit him in the gut like a sucker punch. “What?” He stopped and walked around in front of her. They were right at her front stoop. “Why?” He ran his hand through his hair. “I thought we were going to be friends.”

  Cassie hung her head. “I’ll always be your friend. That’s not what this is about.”

  Bowie put his hands on his hips. “Well, explain it to me then, what exactly is this about? I could tell something changed when I kissed you. Did I scare you?” He paced back and forth in front of her, clearly agitated. “You have to know I wouldn’t hurt you, I’d never hurt you.”

  “No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of me.” Her voice got louder. “I’m scared of what you make me feel.”

  “Cassie.” He went to his knees at her feet. “Talk to me. Don’t push me away.”

  “Don’t make me say it,” she almost begged.

  “You’re going to have to, Cassie.” Bowie took her hand. Until she told him goodbye, he hadn’t even imagined how much it would hurt. “‘Cause I don’t have a clue what you’re thinking.”

  “Don’t you know how easy it would be for me to fall for you?”

  “Cassie—”

  She didn’t allow him to speak. “And even if, by some miracle, you returned those feelings, it wouldn’t do any good. We could—”

  Bowie realized she was about to say something huge. “What? What do you mean?”

  “We couldn’t…” She wiped her eyes with both hands. “I can’t…”

  What the hell? “Cassie?”

  She hung her head. God, he’d never meant to make her cry. He covered his mouth, worrying the scruff on his jaw he could never seem to keep trimmed down. “You can’t what?”

  “Bowie, I’m broken. Can’t you see?”

  As he watched, she spread her little hands, showing herself to him as if he’d somehow missed the fact she was in that damn chair. In her mind, she was less. “You aren’t broken, you’re damn near perfect from what I can see.” Stunned, he went to his knees at her feet, making his case. “I don’t believe that for a minute. Please, just let me show you.”

  God, his heart ached as he saw fear bloom in her eyes. Not fear of him, but fear of the unknown.

  “I can’t. I‘ve tried.”

  What did she mean? They looked deep into one another’s eyes, both wanting to say something, but not wanting to say the wrong thing.

>   And then it hit him. She meant sex. Cassie was afraid she couldn’t be what he needed in a woman.

  Well, to hell with that. “Look, let’s talk about this.”

  “I can’t, not now, I’m sorry.” She began rolling herself to the door.

  “This isn’t over, Cassie.” Bowie was adamant. “I’ll call you.”

  All she said was a sad, “Goodbye, Bowie. And thank you for giving me something to dream about.” With those final words, she went into her house and shut the door.

  He stood there, watching until she was safely in the house. Not knowing what else to do, he left but with a new mission in life—to prove to Cassie she was wrong.

  * * *

  The next few weeks were a blur for Bowie. Jacob’s son had to have surgery and, of course, he went to be with them. Upon his arrival, he found out that Aron had been located and the effort began to rescue him. To everyone’s surprise Noah had learned of his whereabouts from their cousin Jaxson who had seen Aron at a ranch in Mexico when the McCoy cousin had gone down to check on buying cattle. Noah and his fiancée, Skye, had flown down with Micah Wolfe to confirm that it was indeed Aron. What they’d found had surprised them all. Aron was being held against his will by a female drug lord and he’d lost all memory of who he was and where he’d come from.

  Jacob had pulled him and several others aside and told them a rescue mission was being planned. Bowie informed his friend that he’d do whatever it took to see that Aron came home to his family safely. So over the next few weeks, they trained, rehearsed and prepared to launch an attack on an armed compound that any military would classify as a fort. The Texans and their friends were about to start a war, one they intended to win.

  And win they did. About two months from the time Aron McCoy had disappeared from his honeymoon, he was home. Bowie was more relieved than anyone would know. He had cemented his relationship with the McCoy family and became close to other friends of theirs—namely, Beau and Harley LeBlanc who owned a firearms manufacturing company, Patrick O’Rourke and Revel Lee Jones who were ex-Marines, and the rest of the Equalizers—Kyle Chancellor, Saxon Abbott, Jet Foster and Destry Cartwright. He already knew Tyson Pate and Micah Wolfe. He’d heard of Harley Montoya LeBlanc, a well-known IED expert, but was surprised to find she was no bigger than Cassie.

  The main problem was, Bowie thought of her almost constantly. He remembered the way she smelled, the way she felt in his arms. He could shut his eyes and see her smile and hear those breathy little sighs she gave when he was kissing her lips.

  The night he’d left her, he had every intention of seeing her again soon, but then all hell had broken loose with Aron. Something had happened that night. From the moment he’d kissed her, things had changed. Then when she’d told him she was broken, he’d felt like he was losing control of something he needed to latch onto and hold fast. So, when he could he’d begun emailing her at the address on the website. If the phone call went straight to her, Bowie assumed the email did also. At first, he’d begun sharing little things about his day…

  Cassie, I hope this email finds you well. Hell, I hope this email finds you—period. I’m staying at Tebow Ranch, we’re preparing to rescue Aron. He’s been found. I can’t tell you any details, mainly because we won’t know what we’ll find till we get there. A bright spot, I was able to visit Jacob and Jessie’s baby. I know it’s not possible, but I think he looks like me. Handsome little dude.

  Cassie, if it isn’t too much trouble, could you tell me how you are? I worry. I’ve met someone with your last name. Any relation to you? Cousin, brother, husband? Ha! I know better than that last one, but the thought made me jealous as heck. We’re preparing to head to Mexico soon. I’ll check with you as soon as we can.

  Cassie, I’ve been thinking. I know I hurt you, but I’m not sure exactly what I did. What I do know is that I want to make it up to you. Please. And pray for me, if you will, the way things are shaping up, this is going to be intense. I won’t be able to get in touch with you for a few days, we’re leaving tonight.

  And that day, much to his relief and surprise, he’d gotten an answer.

  Bowie, please be careful! I don’t understand exactly what’s going on, but I pray for your safety. And I owe you an apology. I want to be your friend. How crazy is it for someone to turn down friendship? I let my own weaknesses get in the way. But when I thought of you being hurt, I realized that I just wanted you to be okay. And that I wanted to see you again, in whatever capacity I could. If you get a chance, and want to, call me at that same number you used before. I’m worried.

  * * *

  Cassie sat and stared at the television. There was noise in the room, the canned laughter of a sitcom, the purring of a cat. But to her the silence was deafening. She’d made a mistake pushing Bowie away. He was sincere. He was a nice guy and she’d acted ungrateful and childish when all he’d ever been was nice to her. If he was guilty of anything it was being too nice, maybe giving her false hope when he wasn’t really trying to do so.

  Ring! Ring!

  Could it be him? Three days had passed since she’d heard from him. Or possibly another complaint? She’d let him complain, just so long as she knew he was safe. As fast as she could make the wheels go, she raced across the room. The phone was lying on the table. Jerking it up, she exclaimed. “Hello?”

  “Cassie?”

  She let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Bowie? Are you all right?”

  “Cassie, sweet Cassie,” he whispered. “Were you worried about me?”

  “Yes,” she said, emphatically, not even trying to deny it. “When are you coming home?”

  Bowie laughed. “Now, that’s more like it. I’m fine. Aron is home. It will still be a week, I have to check up on George down at Eagle Pass, but first I have to go with Tanner to try and find a hiker up near Castle Mountain in Alberta, Canada.”

  “Are you okay?”

  The concern in her husky little voice made him feel achy. “Yea, except I want to hold you.” He’d done a lot of thinking, he still had more to do. But at least he knew what he wanted.

  “Don’t say that,” Cassie whispered. “Please.” He was about to protest when she added. “Not unless you mean it.”

  A knot came in Bowie’s throat. “I mean it. Are you okay? No more burns, no falls.”

  “No, I’m good.” A lot of pain, but he didn’t need to know that.

  “Thanks for letting me call you.” He lowered his voice, it seemed more intimate somehow.

  “My pleasure.” She smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

  Yea, I intend to give you pleasure. The thought ran unbidden through his mind. Or he prayed he could, that was one of the things he had to find out. And as soon as he got home, he was going to do research until he had the answer. “Tell me something you’ve been doing. I miss you.”

  God, could he be any more perfect? “I went out to eat with Felicity, she’s my friend who helps with Circle C.” At the mention of her candles, Cassie thought of something. “You never did give me the information on the baby so I could make the candle.”

  “Hold on, I’ll get it now.” He was off the phone for a few seconds, then returned, reading it off for her. “How sweet of you. I’ll pay you for it.”

  “No you won’t. I’m doing this more for you than her.”

  Bowie chuckled, touched. “So, where did you girls go eat?” He didn’t like to think of her out and about where just any guy could hit on her. Cassie was as pretty as an angel, and vulnerable. She deserved to be protected.

  “We drove into Austin and went to the Salt Lick. They serve—”

  “The best BBQ in Texas, I know the place.” He interjected. “When I get back, we’ll go out. You be thinking of where you’d like to go. Okay?”

  She couldn’t help it, the phrase popped out before she could call it back. “Friends?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  Bowie wasn’t playing fair. He wasn’t supposed to
answer a question with a question. Well, two could play this game. “Is it what you want?”

  Bowie laughed out loud. “Why don’t we get together when I get home and…negotiate the terms of our relationship.”

  Oh, they had a relationship! Cassie couldn’t help but smile. “Deal.”

  “I’ve got to go, angel. I have to catch a plane. Watch for me on the news. I’ll be the good-looking one.”

  With that he was gone.

  Cassie cradled the phone after he’d hung up. Dual sensations of joy and fear wound around her heart like honeysuckle vines weaving their way around the trunk of a tree. “Cassie, you’re nuts,” she admonished herself.

  She might be naïve, she might be delusional—she and Bowie might never have anything more than a comfortable association where they met for dinner once a month and caught up. Or maybe they could have more. Cassie knew she might be building castles in the air but she’d never forgive herself if she walked away from this chance—this amazing chance to get to know a man like Bowie.

  As she got ready for bed, she was determined that tonight she’d run a test, she was going to find out if there was any chance—any chance at all she could be a real woman.

  * * *

  “Slow down, Malone. You have a few minutes to drink a cup of coffee. You’re going so fast, you’re making my head spin.” Jacob handed Bowie a plastic cup full of Community Dark Roast, coffee strong enough to eat the rust off of a barge.

  “All right, my flight to Canada doesn’t leave for a few hours. And I don’t have time to go home.”

  Jacob leaned back in his chair. “We pulled off a good one, didn’t we?”

  “Hell yeah, we did.” Bowie took a sip and agreed. “I keep expecting to get a call from the state department. We, in essence, invaded a foreign country. Declared fuckin’ war.”