The Devil's Disciple

by Shiro Hamao

  VII

  Once I’d made up my mind I used every moment not spent enjoying myself with Sueko thinking up methods of murder. I hunted down every book I could find for ideas on how to kill people. I went back and reread all the books you recommended when we were in secondary school. I researched all the cleverest ways of committing murder.

  The first thing I learned was that you can’t even get started until you have got rid of your conscience. The annals of crime teach us that it’s the conscience that catches murderers. They might be brave and bold when they do the deed, but they become cowards afterwards. Case after case shows us that the murderer would never have been caught if he had kept his cool after the act.

  At least on this point I was very optimistic. I was the devil’s disciple. I ought to have lost whatever I had of a conscience. But since I couldn’t be sure until I’d actually committed the murder, I decided there was no use worrying about it now. I commanded myself to be bold and to stay strong once the deed was done.

  Then there was the question of the method. This was crucial.

  Certain murderers and criminals you read about in detective novels put a great deal of effort into disposing of the body. This is a waste of effort as far I’m concerned. If you can’t lay your hands on the chemicals Dorian Gray used to destroy that painter’s corpse there’s no point racking your brains over the method of disposal. Just leave the body lying there like it is. As long as nobody knows it’s a murder it won’t make a bit of difference. Of course you don’t want to try too hard to make it look like a suicide. This is an instance where gilding the lily can be fatal. It’s enough just to keep people from suspecting foul play.

  Next I had to choose the best method to knock her off. My research told me that the best place to do it was at home. It would be too dangerous to take her off somewhere else to kill her. The best is to do it right there in the comfortable surroundings of home.

  Finally, the ideal method would be one where the victim doesn’t notice even if you fail the first time around. If you screw up the first time you can just put on a poker face and wait for your next chance. And if that doesn’t work you aim for another opportunity. You can try as many times as it takes and eventually you’ll succeed.

  But was there such a method? You’re a veritable genius in this sort of thing so I’m sure, had you been in my place, you would have seen that the perfect method was staring me in the face and would have wasted no time putting it into action.

  But I didn’t see it.

  Before long, February was over and it was the middle of March.

  During this time I went back to Tsuyuko’s once every ten days or so but otherwise I was living with Sueko. Before long I had stocked Sueko’s house with all the things I needed on a daily basis.

  But then the moment came. The way to kill Tsuyuko came to me like a dark suggestion, and it came right out of Tsuyuko’s own mouth.

  VIII

  It was the 25th March. For the first time in ages I had left Sueko’s and come back to my wife’s place. I don’t know what was going on in her head but like always she didn’t complain. We sat facing each other after this long absence and once I’d finished eating the shitty meal she’d prepared I dived back into my research on murder.

  At the time I never got to sleep before midnight so I told Tsuyuko to go to sleep without me. Always the obedient wife, she slipped into the futon without a word. I thought she’d gone to sleep there beside me but before long she started to cry. Not again, I thought, and felt myself getting irritated as usual. I kept silent but then she started whining.

  ‘Eizō, honey, I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and I’m still not even tired.’

  ‘Is that so?’ I said, just to get her to shut up. I could not have cared less whether she could sleep or not.

  But then I replayed her words in my mind. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. It was like a bolt of lightning. ‘That’s it!’ I screamed into the night. And I didn’t care who heard. Of course! This was it. All my thinking, all my planning had been leading up to this all along. She’d given me the answer herself.

  Tomorrow your life is over bitch. Tomorrow your suffering will come to an end. Tomorrow night I’ll put you out of your misery!

  Before I go on I should fill you in on how much sleeping medication I needed to get to sleep and how I got my hands on it. As I’m sure you can imagine from your own experience, the regular sleeping medication they have at the pharmacy doesn’t have the slightest effect on me any more. So much so that the idea of committing suicide with Calmochine just makes me laugh.

  After trying one medicine after another without any success I ended up in the office of a famous doctor who prescribed me a certain sleeping medication in powder form. But he told me that in cases like these (of insomnia) it’s better that the patient not know what’s in the medicine he’s taking. Apparently it doesn’t work nearly as well if you know the ingredients. So he said he wouldn’t tell me under any circumstances and had it prepared specially by a pharmacist in the neighbourhood. All I could gather was that it was a kind of cocktail, a mixture of several different kinds of medicine. At first I dutifully picked up three days’ worth of the medicine at a time and took it as the doctor prescribed.

  You’ve been an insomniac longer than I have, so you know that this kind of relationship with the pharmacist doesn’t last long. Six months passed and a single day’s dose was no longer enough. I thought about it and figured I’d try a double dose. It worked like a charm. But then I had to go back to the pharmacist for more. I needed an excuse so I used the one that all of us insomniacs stumble upon eventually. You know what I’m talking about.

  ‘I spilled the package.’

  This fooled him the first time but I could hardly do it again.

  ‘I’m going on a trip for a week.’

  That got me another batch, so I was able to take two or two and a half times the daily dosage. I couldn’t get to sleep without it. But pharmacists are businessmen after all. I’d been going to this one for quite a while so he trusted me all right. I would go through a ten-day supply in three days and he kept quiet about it. Before long I was taking scary amounts of the stuff just to get through the night. Once they get to this point insomniacs have to have extra medicine on hand or they get really anxious. The more money I handed over to the pharmacist each month, the more medicine I needed just to keep my head on straight.

  Last autumn, when I started staying with Sueko most of the time I decided I needed to keep a supply at her house too. I had the pharmacist in my back pocket by this time and I got him to give me two small bottles full of that powerful white powder. I kept one of them at home and the other at Sueko’s place, helping myself to two or three teaspoons whenever I needed it.

  Tsuchida-san, I hear you’re increasing your dosage as well. But I guess not even a genius like you can see where you’ll end up.

  Now I’m using ten times the amount that the doctor prescribed for me two years ago. Even then the dose was many times stronger than what any normal person would need. But now it’s ten times that. What kind of effect would that have on a delicate pregnant woman? I thought about it for a while and decided that even if I couldn’t kill her with such a big dose at once it would be enough to do irreversible damage. And it would be so easy to get her to take it. She knew nothing about drugs so all I had to do was make sure she was watching when I took my regular dose. She would take the same amount thinking it was safe. And that would be that.

  If she vomited or something else went wrong I would make sure that she saw me taking the same amount again so she wouldn’t have any reason for suspicion. So there was no danger even if my plan failed. And if everything went right it would look like she had overdosed by mistake. Even considering the fact that Sueko was my mistress and I had a motive for killing Tsuyuko, who could prove that I had forced her to take the medicine? The only problem left was my own conscience. As long as I denied e
verything I was sure I’d go scot-free.

  My plan was made. Now all I had to do was carry it out.

  IX

  The thought that I was going to kill my wife the next day was so arousing that I hardly slept on the night of the 25th. But the day dawned and it was the 26th. I hurried over to Sueko’s house. Since I wouldn’t be staying with her that night I wanted to spend at least a little time with her.

  After a few precious hours with Sueko I got ready to go back home in the early afternoon. And then she said it.

  ‘Are you leaving already? I wish you’d stay over tonight. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.’

  I shuddered at the thought of this bizarre coincidence. But I told her I had some business to attend to and left. Now I look back and realise this was to be our final parting.

  I arrived back home that afternoon and Tsuyuko, who had assumed I’d be gone for much longer, was overjoyed to see me. I made a special effort to be nice to her, knowing that this was the last day we would spend together.

  Before long that awful night had arrived: the night of the 26th. My preparations were meticulous. Not being a doctor I can’t say I know for sure, but in my own experience sleeping medication works best on an empty stomach.

  At dinner I said to Tsuyuko, ‘You shouldn’t eat too much or you won’t be able to sleep.’ She was so pleased by this unexpected bit of kindness on my part that she ate only a single bowl of rice. As darkness finally fell it was time to act.

  At the time I was still trying to figure out exactly how much medicine it would take to do the job. But since I knew nothing about medicine (not to mention the fact that I had no idea what kind of medicine I was taking) I had to make a guess. To be sure, I decided to get her to take the same amount as I did: five teaspoons of powder, enough to last ten days. It was around ten-thirty.

  ‘If you can’t sleep why don’t you have some of my medicine? I’m going to have some now. You have some too.’ I said this as nonchalantly as possible.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, submissive as always, and spread the futon on the floor.

  That’s right! So far so good.

  Once she finished putting out the futon and came to sit opposite me at the brazier I took out the packet of medicine and made sure she was watching as I downed five teaspoons one after another. Agitated as I was I started to think even this would not be enough to put me to sleep so I took one more spoonful and gave Tsuyuko a piece of paper on which I had measured out five spoonfuls. She stared at the medicine without saying anything and suddenly an idea occurred to me.

  Looking back on it now I realise that I was just courting disaster with this bright idea. But at the time I thought it was brilliant.

  My idea was to let someone know that Tsuyuko was still awake when I went to sleep. This could be very important just in case anyone should suspect me of having drugged her.

  ‘Run down to the Konoe-ya and get me three packs of Airships.’

  There was a tobacconist a couple of blocks away from our house called Konoe-ya. The owner was there all the time. He was a chess partner of mine and we often had a game together in our off time. Because of this I usually went there to buy cigarettes myself. So if Tsuyuko went now he was sure to ask how I was.

  ‘What’s your husband up to?’ he was sure to say, just out of politeness. And Tsuyuko would answer, ‘He’s just gone to sleep actually.’

  If anyone should investigate later the owner of the Konoe-ya could testify that I had gone to sleep before my wife. This would make it look like she had overdosed accidentally. I congratulated myself for thinking up such a brilliant plan.

  Tsuyuko obeyed this order as meekly as ever. She folded the paper with the medicine, and tucked it into her obi. I kept staring at the medicine, at that little paper package that was poking its head half-way out of her obi. Soon that will be in her stomach and everything will be over. What fragile creatures people are!

  Before long Tsuyuko got up and went out through the kitchen to buy the cigarettes.

  While she was gone I moved into the bedroom and got into my futon. My wife’s futon is next to mine, waiting for its occupant to return. Tomorrow it will hold a corpse.

  I lay in my own futon and waited for Tsuyuko to return. But then I started to feel the powerful effects of the medicine. I felt very sleepy. I had taken more of it than ever before. To make matters worse I’d taken it on an empty stomach since I had no appetite earlier in the evening. I was vaguely aware of the sound of Tsuyuko banging the kitchen door closed when she got back. But then, it seems, I fell into a deep sleep.

  I don’t know how long I slept, but suddenly I was awake and staring at the ceiling, feeling somehow heavy all over. I feel like the back of my head is wrapped up in something. And I’ve got a headache. This always happens after I’ve taken a little too much sleeping medication.

  I glance at my watch and it’s four-thirty. I raise my head and see that the shutters are flung wide open.

  I lie there in a daze for a while, but then the light through the shōji makes me realise it is evening.

  And then, suddenly, the memory of the night before came rushing back to me.

  I gave her the medicine! She must have taken it!

  That’s right. I tried to kill Tsuyuko!

  My wife? Tsuyuko?

  I looked around. She ought to have been lying there next to me in this room. But she’s not there. Even the futon has been put away.

  I leapt to my feet. I threw open the sliding door to the living room. There she was, looking like she had just come out of the kitchen, ever the dutiful wife. She looked a little sad as usual, but otherwise she was as calm as could be.

  ‘You’re awake! You were sleeping so soundly I tried to keep quiet. But it’s already five o’clock you know.’

  I started to say something. But my mouth was dry and nothing came out.

  ‘You… you got to sleep last night?’

  ‘No, I didn’t sleep very well.’

  ‘But you took the medicine didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes. I took it.’

  ‘You took all of it? You took what I gave you?’

  ‘No, silly. If I took that much it would kill me.’

  A sweet smile played on Tsuyuko’s lips as she said this. From the look on her face she seemed almost to pity me in my ignorance.

  ‘I don’t know if you realise it or not, but you’re taking way too much of that stuff. When you stay away for so long I have trouble sleeping myself so I’ve been going to the pharmacy to get some of my own medicine. I knew you would be furious if I so much as touched yours. And the pharmacist told me lots of things. He was shocked when I told him how much of it you take and he said I should try to get you to cut back a little. But you get so angry when I say the wrong thing. So I just kept my worries to myself. I divided the medicine you gave me yesterday into ten parts and just took one of them. If I’d taken all of it I think it would have killed me. Last night something was upsetting me and I couldn’t sleep after all. But you went straight to sleep didn’t you? Oh, yes. The Airships you asked for are on your desk.’

  It felt like someone had hit me over the head. Sweet little Tsuyuko has no idea that she was almost murdered. She hasn’t noticed that her evil husband, the one standing in front of her right now, just tried to kill her.

  Tsuchida-san. I don’t know anything about the law so I’m not sure whether this would be called an attempted murder – but let’s say it is. If this had been the end of it no one would ever have known about this attempted murder and the whole thing would have ended in a farce.

  But events were proceeding along a much more frightening path than that.

  X

  Tsuyuko knew all about the medicine. She knew about it but she never said a word! I had failed to kill her. Luckily my plan was so airtight that she didn’t know how close she’d come to being murdered, but it was a big blow nonetheless.

  I didn’t have an ounce of compassion for her. In fact I hated her all the more. I start
ed to think the bitch knew what I was up to and was just playing dumb. Then I couldn’t stand being around her for a second longer.

  I turned my back on that surprised look on her face, changed out of my pyjamas, stuffed the Airships she’d fetched the night before into my sleeve and stormed out of the house.

  I was on fire inside. I failed to kill my wife! I wasn’t even relieved to think the woman hadn’t noticed. I was mortified and so furious I could hardly contain myself.

  I don’t know where I went or how I got there. All I know is that I stumbled from one seedy cafe to another and downed as much strong liquor as I could. Finally I ended up at Sueko’s. I wanted to see my beautiful, my darling Sueko. I got to her house by about seven in the evening. I’d had so many stiff drinks that I was weaving all over the place.

  When I got there, in front of her house, something weird was going on. It was normally a quiet neighbourhood but now there were cars all around and lots of people milling about.

  At first I didn’t notice that they were all hanging around Sueko’s house, but it became obvious as I got closer.

  I stood there in shock. Something’s slamming against my chest. Something has happened. I push my way through the crowd that has gathered around the latticework door.

  Just as I was getting to the entrance a man in a suit and tie came out of the house talking to another man wearing what looked like a police uniform. I can remember exactly what the man in the suit said to the other.

  ‘What a mess. You folks will have to figure out whether it was an accident or suicide, but she had some powerful medicine in a bottle right next to her. Looks like she took it with that spoon. Crazy stuff. She’s done for, of course. Her heart’s stopped.’

  I knew straightaway that something had happened to Sueko and pushed my way past the startled crowd into the room I knew so well.

  Tsuchida-san, of course you know what I found there.