Set Me Alight

by Leviathan, Bill

  “I’m going to show Christine what I’ve been stowing away in the storage unit.”

  “Well, Pete, I’ve got some unfortunate news. A representative from the mining company stopped by and demanded I hand everything over. Everything’s gone.”

  “You can’t be serious! They have everything? Dammit, that’s years of work!”

  “There was nothing I could do, Pete. They had the police with them and a warrant and everything. I just gave them what they were asking for. I didn’t want any trouble. I’ve seen what they’ve done to other families who’ve tried to stand up to them. What were you keeping in there anyway?”

  “Nothing, Patti. Don’t worry-“

  Christine had an annoyed look on her face and decided to butt into the conversation. “Do you know what this mining rep’s name was? Or what he looked like? They typically don’t work with the police for these kinds of things. They like to handle it all internally.”

  “I-I don’t know, miss. Like I said before, I just gave them what they asked for to avoid any trouble.”

  Now I just wanted to get Patti out of this. I already unnecessarily involved her. Now it was time to break away from her before Christine thinks she was involved in all this more than she really was. Patti played her role as well as I could have hoped for, but she needed to be subbed out. “Don’t worry about it, Patti. We’ll be on our way now.”

  Christine and I both walked to the car in complete silence. She started the car, and took off. I didn’t know where she was heading, and I wasn’t providing any sort of guidance on where to go. The look on her face said everything I needed to know. She wasn’t happy. She was pissed off at something. People don’t have that look on their face unless there was some serious fury boiling up inside of them. I figured it would be best to stay quiet for as long as possible. If I didn’t speak, maybe that monster that was brewing up inside her wouldn’t be unleashed on me.

  It wasn’t long before she pulled over and turned off the car. I was still too scared to try and say anything to her. I just sat there staring straight ahead and hoped that the car would start back up and she’d just drop me off back home. Nothing bad could happen to me so long as I didn’t acknowledge anything else was there with me.

  “Pete, stop fucking with me. I know what you’re trying to do right now, ok? No one has seized the documents you have, you still have them wherever the hell you’re keeping them. That story Patti told is just a bastardization of what took place weeks ago. I know you still have other documents that haven’t been seized yet. Now, I’m going to be in town for the next three days. Before I leave, you better be able to show me what I came here for. So please, stop wasting my time.”

  I nodded in acknowledgment of what she said, and had her drive me home. There wasn’t much to do but bide my time before I had to speak with her again. Who exactly was this woman, and why did she need to see Paul’s documents so God damned badly? There was no way she was just some anarchist punk like Pim and his crew. The entire ‘FireOnTheDeck’ thing had to be some sort of front. A front for what, I didn’t have the slightest idea, but what I did know was that it was better for me to avoid her for as long as possible. I needed to get more information on her, real information. Pim was the only one who had spoken to her before to my knowledge. He was my best bet for finding out anything concrete on her. The kid better still be up. The sooner I could talk to him, the better.

  Pim and his gang were having their regular meetup at The Sink Hole, spouting off their crap for all to hear. I walked over to their table and sat down without saying a word. Pim turned away from whatever conversation he was previously having and spoke to me.

  “It’s nice to see you joining us tonight, Pete. How did the meeting with Christine go?”

  “Not well, Pim. Not too well at all.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “She kept asking about Paul’s documents. That’s all she was after. She just wanted me to show her the documents.”

  Kevin had gotten it in his mind that I wanted to listen to him speak. “Yeah, so what? She’s one of us. Why shouldn’t she see the documents?”

  “Because I don’t know her, Kevin. Her tone the whole time she was speaking to me was just off. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t trust her one bit. Nothing about her seems right. She’s after this information far too aggressively to be genuine. What did she tell you she was coming here for, Pim?”

  “She just said she wanted to set up a connection between our two groups, that’s all. That’s why I was so surprised when she demanded to meet with you.”

  “Well, I can assure you she’s not here for that, Pim. She just wants Paul’s documents and nothing else. As soon as it became clear I wasn’t giving the information to her tonight, she nearly tore my head off and then stormed off in a rage. She all but threatened me to hand over everything I have within three days. And it looks like I have you, Pim, to thank for all of this crap.”

  “What are you talking about Pete?”

  “She told me how you blurted out everything whenever you attempted to flirt with her, you little perv. Not getting enough action in real life so you have to resort to some text based relationship?”

  “I don’t have the slightest clue what you’re on about, Pete. I only ever spoke to her about coordinating between our two groups. She says I’m hitting on her? For fuck’s sake Pete, I’m gay. Why do you think I’m trying to hit on some random woman online?”

  “Uh, guys,” we both turned to look at Kevin, who was sheepishly looking down at his glass. “It wasn’t Pim who told her all about the documents. It was me. I was logged into Pim’s account and tried to strike up a conversation with her. It seemed like the only way I could ever get anything going with her was by giving her a little bit of information about what you guys got from Paul. She’s one of us though, right? What difference does it make what she knows?”

  “What the hell, Kevin? What were you doing on my account?”

  “Well first off pick a password that isn’t just your name and your birth date. And second, you already had an in for talking to her. I was just taking advantage of that.”

  At that point I was fed up and decided to intrude. “You’re a stupid, horny little child, Kevin. You know that? You get access to the internet, an unlimited wealth of information, and you start talking to some random person to try and get off? You couldn’t even see through your hormonal haze that she only gave two shits about you because you kept offering ‘secret information’ whenever she asked for it. How dumb can you be?”

  “I’m sorry, Pete. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”

  “So, what all have you blabbed to her? How much does she know about what we have?”

  “Not a whole lot. I mean, you guys haven’t told me much about it either. I just told her you guys have some sort of secret information that Paul left you. Aside from that I don’t even know where you guys keep it. I swear, that’s all I’ve told her.”

  “Well, Pim, at least you’ve done one thing right during all of this. You kept this moron out of the loop as much as possible. If Christine is really here to steal some information from us, she doesn’t know enough to completely do away with us.”

  “What are you suggesting we do now, Pete?”

  “I’m not sure. We still need information on her before we act. My instincts are telling me she’s just after Paul’s stuff, probably hired by the mining companies, but I can’t say for certain right now. Do you happen to know where she’s staying while she’s in town?”

  “No, I don’t. She never mentioned it.”

  “Well, she drove a car down here, so I’m guessing she can afford to stay in a hotel. That doesn’t leave many options. Let’s start looking around to see what we can find out. Just you though, Pim. Kevin can stay here before he decides to compromise this any more than he already has.”

  There were only a few hotels left in town that were still in operation, and her car was going to stick out like a sore thumb.
It couldn’t be that difficult to find out where she was. If my suspicions were correct, she won’t be slumming it at some tent camp like the rest of us would have. No one looked and acted the way she did by sleeping on the dirt night after night.

  Along with Pim, we approached the nearest hotel. I saw her car in the lot – the only one. We were on our way toward it, when I noticed her standing in the lobby talking to the guy at the desk. I grabbed Pim and ducked off behind some bushes. We just sat there and watched until we saw her get in her car and leave. Where she was going, I had no idea, but it gave us a chance to snoop around her room and try and find out whatever we could about her. I could only hope she left something useful behind.

  It wasn’t difficult to locate her room. There was only one that was occupied, and she didn’t bother closing the blinds on her windows. Getting into the room was going to be a different problem.

  “Do you know anything about picking locks, Pim?”

  “No.”

  “Well, how the hell are we going to get into her room then?”

  “We could always just break the window and climb in.”

  “Great plan, Pim. Why don't you run over to the guy at the desk and ask him to call 9-1-1 on us while you're at it?”

  “Then what the hell do you suggest we do, Pete?”

  “Ok, ok, I think I’ve got something. This hotel can’t afford to keep to many people on staff, right? And they have to keep all of the spare keys somewhere, probably behind the front desk. So, if we just wait it out until the guy at the desk has to go to the bathroom or something, we can just sneak behind, grab the key we need, and then use it to get into the room. Should be simple enough, right?”

  “Sure, but what if the guy doesn’t leave the desk before Christine gets back?”

  “Well then we’re fucked, Pim, so you better hope that doesn’t happen.”

  Doing our best spy impressions we snuck on over to the lobby door to peer in on the guy by the desk. It looked like it was our lucky night, the guy was sound asleep at his chair. Christine looked like she was talking to the guy before she left no more than five minutes ago, and he had already nodded off. That was the kind work ethic I could respect in a man. Since it was my idea, I was the one to try and find the key. There was a drawer by the guy’s knee marked ‘Room Keys’. I couldn’t have hoped for anything easier. There was one problem though, I couldn’t open the drawer without bumping his knee. With the soft touch one normally reserved for caressing the soft malleable head of a new born child, I moved his knee, and prayed that he wasn’t too light of a sleeper. As soon as I could open the drawer enough to grab the room key, I dashed out of there as fast I could manage while still trying to remain silent.

  “I’ve got the key, Pim. Now, let’s head around to the back entrance so we don't risk waking the guy at the desk any further. I can’t imagine they keep the back locked. Once we’re in we should be able to get into Christine’s room.”

  The back door was unlocked, and there wasn’t a soul in the hallway for us to avoid. The key worked on her door, and we were in. Everything seemed to be coming together easier than I anticipated. I could only hope finding what we need proves to be as easy.

  “There’s nothing in here, Pete. It’s just a bed and a dresser. Doesn’t look like she brought anything with her. There are a few changes of clothes she left laying out, but that's it.”

  “Keep looking. There has to be something in here we can use.” We scoured the room, not finding much of anything. I went over to the bed and threw the bedding off, hoping something would be stuffed under the sheets. Finally, I had found something. “Wait, here, under the pillow. I think it’s a laptop.”

  “Give it here, Pete. Let me take a look at it. Dammit, she has a password on it. I can’t get in.”

  “Well, let’s hope she is as uncreative in password creation as you are, Pim. Do we know her birthday, her address, or anything about her?”

  “No, not that I can think of. Let me think for a second. Her last name, Fougue, do you know what that means?”

  “Not a clue, Pim.”

  “It’s French, it means passion. Let me try something like that. PassionGirl. HotPassion. PassionateMissy. OnFireWithPassion. Dammit, nothing is working.”

  “Give it to me. I’ll show you how a real hacker works.”

  Pim handed the laptop to me. I proceeded to throw the laptop to the floor. Pim gasped and yelled out, “You fucking moron! That’s the only thing we have on her and you’re trying to destroy it!”

  When the laptop hit the ground, the battery popped out. I went to pick up the laptop and battery to reassemble it, when I noticed a folded up piece of paper tapped underneath the laptop in the battery compartment. I removed it and held it up to Pim.

  “You can apologize for calling me a moron.”

  He snatched the paper from my hands and unfolded it. To reassert my dominance, I snatched it back. I looked the paper over. It looked like this:

  From G’s

  7/4: Gen:1:15 Eze:5:6 Ps:80:15 Lev:19:3

  And it continued like that down the paper. I couldn’t make head or tail of anything. I gave up after only a few moments. My alcohol raddled mind had already proven its lack of worth.

  “It’s a bunch of nonsense. Here, take a look.”

  I threw the paper back at Pim. He looked to be much more successful in reading the cipher than I was. He stared down and didn’t let anything break his attention. I tried to ask him a question, and he held up one finger to me to cut me off. The gall.

  He sprinted over to the bedside stand. He opened the drawer, and pulled out a book.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m trying to break the code. See at the top where it says ‘From G’s’? I’m betting that means ‘From Gideons Bible’. Then there are dates down the side of the paper. For each date, there are some letters, followed by two numbers. I’m guessing the letters are the name of the book in the bible, and the two numbers are the chapter and the verse. My best guess is to use the first letter of each verse for the password. It would work perfectly for passwords they want to change every few days, especially for someone who would be spending time in hotels.”

  “How did you figure all that out so quickly?”

  “You know, this used to be a great Christian nation.”

  I thought it was best not to respond to that.

  “Here, take back the paper and read off the verses for today’s date. I’ll look them up and copy down the letters for the password.”

  “Ok. Rom:10:17. Ps:39:4. Ge:3:16. Le:2:16. Deu:1:11. Ps:118:19. Rom:15:13. Deu:5:12. Pro:30:5. Ps:2:6.”

  “Uh, ok, I guess this is it.”

  Pim handed me what he had written down. It said:

  SLUTMONKEY

  “Looks like I should give the bible a second chance.”

  Pim glowered at me. I laughed as I walked back to the laptop. I put the battery back in, and thankfully, it booted up when I pressed the power button. I entered the provocative password at the login screen.

  “We’re in.”

  Pim rushed over to me and grabbed the pulled the laptop away from me. This time I did not protest, as I hadn’t used a computer in almost a decade. It was much better off in his hands than my own.

  “Have you found anything on the computer? Anything useful? Anything to let us know what she’s doing here? What the hell she's doing hounding us for Paul's documents?”

  “Yeah, Pete, look at all this. It was sitting on her desktop.”

  “Jesus, Pim. She has profiles on all of us. Photos, life biographies, place of birth, everything. How the hell does she know I worked at Authentic Tony’s? That was over ten years ago, and I was working under the table as it was. Where is all this information coming from?”

  “I don’t know, Pete, I don’t know. Here, look at this document. It looks like a memo of some sort. ‘Use whatever means necessary to obtain the leaked corporate documents. By force, if needed’. It’s signed off by ‘Megalomerate MGMT’. Wh
at the hell is Megalomerate?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine, Pim. We’ve got what we need though. Grab the pen and paper by the phone and leave a note for Christine. We’re going to have a little chat with her tomorrow. Don’t forget to take the laptop with us when we go. We'll need it as a bargaining chip.”

  Chapter 8

  I think it’s safe to say at that point that Christine didn’t want to set up a connection between the Montana and Minnesota conspiracy cults. What the hell was Megalomerate? The name sounded too ridiculous to be something real. The memo referenced the ‘leaked corporate documents’, but Paul’s documents came from the different mining companies in the area. The memo made it sound like it was all from one source, not the four or five or however many mining companies there were in town. I could never keep track of them all. Maybe they weren’t different companies, but just different divisions of the same mining company. Was there something else to Paul’s documents that we were missing? I had just been working off the information in the notes Paul left. I never put forth any critical analysis of my own. That wasn’t what my role in the operation. My role was to be the whiny sidekick who accomplished nothing, got in the way, and the fans all hated.

  Now about all of the profiles we found on her machine. After we left the hotel room Pim poked around the laptop a bit more and found even more disturbing information. Not only were there complete biographies on the entire group, there were precise schedules of our daily activities for the previous few months. It turned out Paul’s and Pim’s extreme paranoia wasn’t unfounded after all. There really was some sort of shadow organization out there following them around. Whatever they were paying those guys, I hope it was a lot. I don’t think I could survive following around my boring ass all day long and taking meticulous notes of every little detail without a steady flow of designer drugs and alcohol. I wonder how Christine felt about being assigned to assassinate us. After years of training by the CIA or NSA or whatever the government’s assassin wing was, half of the training spent in some undercover infiltration of a terrorist cell network, where she was probably identified and imprisoned, tortured for months before she escaped and then strangled her target with her bare hands while he sat on the toilet, and then forced to make a getaway from their mountain hideaway hundreds of miles from any sort of human civilization. After all that they send her after a slobbering drunk and an idealistic hippie teenager. What a fulfilling use of her talents and expertise. Though, maybe she was just a poor desperate person like the rest of us, and ran across some sweet speaking old man in a bar offering steady work and good pay. Then once she realized what she would be doing, extinguishing human life, it was too late to run away. Take the work, or watch everything in your life be burned away. Or, perhaps she isn’t here to assassinate us or do any sort of harm, and this was all just a result of my half destroyed mind trying to make connections out of nothing. It didn’t help that the only other person involved in this with me was a conspiracy theory nutjob.