Rawhide and Roses

by Maddie James

  Desperado.

  Why don’t you come to your senses?

  Kim jerked back to the present as the old Eagles melody drifted to her ears. Alert now, and conscious of everyone about her, she lifted her gaze to meet Thad’s angled across the fire. Her breath caught in her throat as she wondered if he knew, if he could tell, or sense, what she had just been thinking.

  Her cheeks hot from her fantasy, she knew that at the very least she could attribute their rosy glow to the fire. Only the fire was deep within her. The ring of fire sitting before each of them was nothing compared to the one raging inside her.

  She’d been fantasizing about Thad. Of Thad slipping into her tent later that night. Of his hands all over her. His lips. His body. His....

  Kim trembled and shook her head, glancing about once more. Thad now stared off into the night and the music drifted around them.

  Oh, you’re a hard one…

  Kim studied his profile as she listened to the words of the song. Are you really such a hard man, Thad Winchester? Why are you always so gruff with me?

  The cowboy’s melody meandered off onto the night breeze and suddenly, Thad dragged his gaze away from the distant night and planted it square on Kim’s face. She held the connection between them for longer than was necessary. Finally, she shivered and glanced away.

  A warm body scooted closer on the log, startling her, and an arm snaked around her shoulders. Confused, she struggled out of her trance and glanced sharply to her right.

  “Cold?” the male voice began, almost a soft purr. Tim Rumer’s fire-lit face inched closer. His breath smelled surprisingly of beer. “I’ll k-keep you warm,” he whispered. “Come closer.”

  Kim jerked and pushed away, scooting abruptly to her left. He followed.

  “C’mon, Kimmy. You’re sh-shivering. I’ll k-keep you warm,” he slurred.

  She slid again and placed her palms at Tim’s chest. His timing was all off. His appearance beside her was irritating. All she wanted to do was stare into the fire and think of Thad—even though she knew she could do nothing about it.

  She gave Tim another small shove. “I’m not cold, Tim. I’m sitting in front of a raging fire, for God’s sake. Back off.” She was in no mood to fight off a drunk and felt no remorse at being blunt. He was spoiling her mood entirely.

  Tim’s arms crept around her again, pulling her closer. “Kim..Kim...Kim...” He nuzzled his chin against her neck. “C’mon Kimmy...just a little snuggle.”

  Not wanting to make a scene, but wanting his smelly beer-body away, she shoved once more. Harder. “Go away, Tim. You’re drunk. You know you’re not supposed to have alcohol on this trip. Get away from me before I tell.”

  Tim only chuckled and came at her again. “You’re a sweet little t-tattle-tale, aren’t you?”

  “And you’re drunk,” she hissed.

  “No. Just feelin’ good.” He grasped her waist again and dipped his head. “Come f-feel good with me Kim-Kim,” he whispered, his hands groping.

  “No!”

  His hands were getting way too familiar, way too fast.

  Kim pushed them away and stood. “I said no, dammit! Leave me alone.” Her voice raised a little louder than she had wanted.

  Tim stumbled to his feet. “C’mon, Kim...” He lunged.

  In the next instant, Thad’s rock hard body stepped between hers and Tim’s. “I believe the lady said no, Rumer,” he bellowed. “And I believe you’re drunk.”

  Tim’s face drew a blank then a grin split his lips. He stumbled closer to Thad. “N-no need to git yer dander up there, cowboy. I-I only wanted a little sq-squeeze. Don’tcha have some dogies that need wrestlin’ or somethin’?”

  Kim stood helpless as Thad snatched placket of the drunk’s shirt in two hands. He dragged Tim closer and peered into his face. Seconds passed as Thad’s face grew tense, his hands shook, his gaze narrowed. Then, as if checking himself against his anger, he tossed the man to the ground. Tim’s eyes rounded in horror.

  “I want you gone come sun-up, understand? Your friend can make up his own mind about leaving, but you...” Thad pointed a blunt finger at Tim, “you I don’t want to ever see again.” Thad jerked his head up, his stare piercing the night at one of his wranglers. “Ben, ride back with him. I’ll settle up when I get back to the ranch.”

  With that, Thad turned on his heel and faced Kim. For an very long moment, he held her gaze. Without warning, he grasped her left upper arm and whirled her body toward his, briskly leading her away from the campfire.

  Kim cringed at the impression he was making into her bicep. It was all she could do to keep her short legs in stride with his massive gait.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she finally gasped out.

  His gaze straight ahead, he answered her bluntly “Getting you the hell out of there.” He yanked her arm, pulling her closer into his side.

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want you there.”

  Kim jerked her arm out of his grasp and stopped. “A hell of a lot you have to say about it. Are you planning to send me packing in the morning too?”

  Thad turned, parked his fists on his hips, and stared down at her. She suddenly felt minute, so small and petite next to him.

  “No, goddammit. I ought to. But no.”

  Grasping her arm again, Thad turned and resumed his gait while Kim struggled out of his grasp every few steps.

  “Wherever you’re taking me, you know, you don’t have to manhandle me. I can walk perfectly well of my own accord.”

  Ignoring her, Thad brusquely pulled her behind the kitchen tent. In one swift movement, he swung her around to face him. In that instant, Kim sensed just exactly what was on Thad’s mind. It was the same thing that had been on hers moments earlier.

  Without a word, both his hands cupped her face. The gruffness gone, he cradled her chin within his fingers, and tilted her face upward. In his eyes, Kim could see the desire, as well as her own in the reflection. With a quick brush of his thumb over her lower lip, she trembled and a shot of adrenaline burst up through her, urging her closer. And as his face lowered and his lips captured hers, her universe spun out of control.

  Kim had never known such ecstasy existed. His mouth embraced hers in an intoxicating swirl of nibbles and quick thrusts of his tongue. His hands wove their way into the nape of her hair, holding her steady for him to devour her mouth and face. Rapid breathing mingled with hurried gasps; the sharp taste of salty skin bit into her tongue as she savored his lips. Blood raced to the surface, sending every nerve ending spiraling with desire.

  She clung to Thad in wanton abandon. Her arms crept upward, her hands grasped and kneaded his shoulders, pulling him closer. She pressed tight against him, feeling him hard and wanting against her belly. Thad’s lips traveled from the corner of her mouth where he left a tiny bite and trailed down the side of her neck to her collarbone. He moaned and Kim heard the soft, ragged whisper of her name on his breath, and tried not to think about how painful it sounded.

  Thad lowered his hands and clasped his arms around her waist, like he never wanted to let her go. He grasped her firmly to him as he lifted her up to her tip-toes while he continued the kiss. Glad for his arms around her, his kisses made her feel light as air and dizzy; she needed all the support she could get. She didn’t trust her legs one bit.

  Between panting breaths, pounding hearts, and a mingling of lips and tongues, Kim managed only seconds of lucidity. She was kissing Thad! And she was kissing him back more fervently than she’d ever in her life returned a kiss.

  Finally, he lowered her body until her feet touched the ground again, his hands still lingered at her waist. Reluctantly, their lips parted, reaching out once, and again, for another hungry taste of each other. Her pulse racing, starbursts of light flickering behind closed eyes. She lost all sense of time and place. Of who she was, why she was here. Why her world suddenly tipped off its axis. Then she felt Thad’s labored breathing warmly caress her face a
nd knew she was alive. And wanting him. When her eyes opened, she stared into the face of the man who had just curled her toes into ribbons.

  But the face she saw wasn’t the Thad she’d known all week. This face was soft, vulnerable, passion-filled, alive. Loving. And his eyes were searching her face for the same expressions. Searching for something she wasn’t quite sure she could name.

  Or give.

  “I didn’t want to do that,” he murmured, still watching her face.

  “I didn’t want you to,” she whispered back.

  “I couldn’t stand seeing him touch you.”

  “I didn’t want him to touch me.”

  “I wanted to touch you. Had to touch you. Kiss you…”

  Titillating tremors surged up within Kim. It was as though her fantasy had come true. Even if she didn’t want it to. “I wanted you to touch me. Kiss me.”

  The dancing lights in Thad’s eyes flared at her words. Urgently, he leaned closer and captured her once more in a light, but desirous meeting of the lips.

  Then he drew back, abruptly.

  Standing erect, Thad took a distancing step away from her, his hands dropping to his sides, the connection between them broken. For a moment, she stood watching him, her chest heaving, anticipating. He paced a couple of steps, ran his fingers through his hair.

  “It can’t happen again,” Thad said softly. He hesitated, his gaze playing over her face, then receded into the dark. He evaporated into the night, leaving her totally alone.

  She watched him leave and felt the stab in her chest, the sting in her eyes. Never had a single moment in her life affected her as this one. Never. “I know,” she whispered, barely hearing the words herself. “I know.”

  ****

  I don’t know why in the hell I didn’t take her back to Durango, myself.

  Thad stared into the ebony void before him. From his perch high on a ledge above the camp, he contemplated the twist of fate he’d been dealt a few hours earlier. His back rested against cold stone, keeping him alert in the chilly night; one foot was propped against the rock, evening out his balance. He couldn’t sleep. He didn’t know if he’d ever fall asleep again—without images he didn’t want to acknowledge traipsing through his brain.

  It was the kind of night where silence crashed about you. A million stars set like sparkling diamonds into the sable sky. Nightfall was still and cool. Only an occasional cry from a night bird and the far-off whine of a coyote broke the quiet.

  He loved a night like this. Calm. Restful. Usually the feeling transferred to his own sense of inner peace. He imagined that’s why men were drawn to this land, this line of work, for over a hundred years. There was nothing he could think of as relaxing as a mountain sky on a cool, starry night.

  Tonight, though, the night was fickle. She failed to work her charm. He felt neither calm, nor restful.

  Below, the camp lay still. Only the lantern under the dining fly was lit, granting him a guiding beacon back to camp. He threw a cautious glance behind him; occasionally a horse nickered below. Everyone else had turned in hours ago, but not him.

  And he damned well knew why.

  Restless energy pounded his insides. Energy that longed for escape.

  Lifting a hand to his face, Thad took another long drag off the Camel he’d bummed earlier, the red ashes dancing against the black. After a moment of holding the smoke deep inside his lungs, urging the nicotine to calm his jittery nerves, he blew a thorough puff skyward. Abruptly, he glanced at the butt and flicked it to the ground, crushing the life out of the fire with the toe of his boot.

  He hadn’t smoked in years.

  Closing his eyes, the instant image of Kim blew into his mind’s view. Her damned blue eyes spoke volumes, her delicate full lips, her sweet, soft skin tasted like honey—each one more reason to stay awake. Much more and he’d be in her tent before the night was through. It was all he could do to stay away. And he wasn’t too sure how her resistance was holding up either.

  Dammit! He didn’t think either of them could resist the pull, the chemistry—even knowing that it was the dead-wrong thing to do.

  He was not about to get involved with one of his guests. Not now. He had to be patient. Wait until the end of the week. See how things progressed. Then maybe....

  But resisting Kim was absolutely the hardest thing he’d ever tried to do in his life.

  Hell, he’d taken women on the pack trips before. Attractive women. But never had this degree of temptation plagued him. It was Kim. He was like a moth drawn to a flame around her.

  Thad washed his hands over his face as if to remove her image, then stood abruptly and glanced toward the camp. She was down there. Alone. In her tent. And as vulnerable to him as he was to her. He knew it.

  He had to stay away. He wasn’t going to start something until he knew for certain that there was a chance. He didn’t want to risk messing up something that he had the distinct feeling might turn out to be very important to him. He needed to be sure these feelings he harbored for her were not just physical desire and lust.

  Somehow, the thought of loving and leaving Kim scared the hell out of him. Particularly when come the end of the trip; she would be the one doing the leaving.

  It left an ache in his chest just thinking about it.

  Chapter Nine

  Why can’t I just sleep?

  Kim turned over in her sleeping bag and stared at the far side of the dome tent. She punched her pillow then gathered it into a ball, stuffing it under her head. She was wide awake, and about as tired as she’d ever felt in her life. Besides the images of Thad kissing her dancing through her head, she didn’t know what could be keeping her awake. She’d barely slept the night before.

  Except that her stomach hurt. And she felt kind of dizzy. A little short of breath.

  Geez, Kim, did Thad do all this to you?

  “Certainly, not,” she muttered. “No one man’s kisses ever made me feel like this before.”

  Her stomach ached and she clutched at it. Beads of sweat popped out on her forehead and she tossed off the sleeping bag. “Too damn hot in here.”

  After several minutes of laying there, her symptoms escalating, she decided it wasn’t Thad who had thrown her body a bit off kilter—she was actually sick.

  “Damn-damn-damn,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be sick. I’ll die up here.”

  Things were jumping in her stomach. What had she eaten for dinner? That’s right, the barbecued chicken. Had she poisoned the entire crew? Was it food poisoning? Oh, God. I’ll never hear the end of it. Thad might even accuse her of trying to kill him and file a lawsuit against her!

  “Great. Just what I need.”

  Her stomach rumbled and roiled, then lurched. Still hot and clammy, she kicked off her sweat pants bottoms, leaving on the large baggy shirt and her panties. She tried closing her eyes, willing her tummy to cooperate. Maybe if I lie very still, all this will go away and I’ll be better in the morning.

  But it was soon apparent that wouldn’t be the case. Nausea struck her in full force. Within seconds, she was up, had flung the opening to the tent out of her way, and raced behind the tent to throw up.

  On her hands and knees, she wretched until the spasms finally subsided. Not much in the way of food that came up, but the bitter taste of bile nauseated her into further heaving.

  Finally, with a trembling hand, she swiped at her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt and sat back on her knees.

  Her body shook. She was very cold, but needed a minute to gather her strength before heading back to her tent. And she wanted to make sure another wave of nausea wasn’t going to hit her.

  Eyes closed, she raked a hand through her damp hair and waited.

  Her mind barely registered the presence of someone beside her.

  “Kim,” he whispered. “Here, let me help.”

  Weakly, she opened her eyes and watched as Thad poured some water from a canteen onto a washcloth. Then capping and laying the canteen asid
e, her reached for her and washed her face with the cool water as he pushed her damp hair out of the way.

  She sighed and let him.

  “Better?” He peered into her eyes as he gently stroked the damp cloth over her forehead and around her hairline, then down her neck.

  “I think so.”

  “Can you walk back to the tent now?”

  She nodded. For the moment, the waves of nausea had subsided.

  He stood and grasped her hands, helping her to her feet. With one arm, he cradled her close as he guided her back into the tent.

  She sat on the sleeping bag. He sat on his knees in front of her, taking up a huge amount of space in her tiny tent. His presence nearly sucked the very air away from her. She felt sort of lightheaded, again.

  “Where are your things? I’ll find you another shirt.”

  She pointed to the duffel bag.

  “I’ll turn my back, you take that one off.”

  Hesitantly, she did, tossing the shirt near the tent’s entrance. His back was to her as he carefully went through her things and she felt a little vulnerable, sitting there almost naked, behind him. She shook off a little chill. Finally, he tossed a T-shirt her way, still keeping his back to her.

  She slipped it on. “Okay,” she said softly.

  He turned around.

  “Thanks. I—I don’t know what happened. I hope I didn’t poison everybody.”

  A slow grin spread over his face. “You didn’t poison anyone, Kim. I suspect you’ve got altitude sickness.”

  “Altitude sickness? You mean, I’m going to be sick the whole time?”

  He shook his head. “Not likely. I’d say you’ll acclimate soon enough. Have you had trouble sleeping?”

  She nodded. But I hadn’t attributed it to altitude.

  “Felt a little dizzy? Short of breath?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.” But I thought you were doing that to me.

  He paused and studied her. “I think you’ll probably feel better tomorrow. Drink plenty of water and eat right. Here, keep my canteen.” He laid it beside the sleeping bag. “And if you can get to sleep, sleep as long as you can. Don’t worry about the rest of us, we’ll manage.”