A Lie for a Lie

by Hunting, Helena

  “Well, actually, I have a proposition for you.” I’m nervous, aware that what I’m about to propose might take some convincing. The team has been doing well this season, and we don’t have a game until the second—which means we can go out tonight, if I can convince her it’s a good idea.

  “Oh? What kind of proposition?”

  “So Randy thought it would be fun to go out tonight, and Alex has some connections at the Velvet Room, so he rented out one of the private rooms there for a party tonight.”

  “What’s the Velvet Room?”

  “It’s a bar.” I barrel on, hoping to erase the brief flash of panic on her face. “Most of my teammates are going, and all the girls will be there—Sunny, Poppy, Lily, Violet, and Charlene. Like I said, we’ll have a private room once we’re in there, so it’ll be people you know and not a bunch of random strangers.”

  “What about Kody?” Lainey worries her bottom lip.

  “I’ve already made arrangements for that. Miller’s offered to have all the kids come over to his place. Kristen’s agreed to help, and Lance and Miller’s nannies are going to hang out and have a little celebration.”

  “They’ll have all four of Miller’s kids, Lance’s son, and Kody?”

  “And Robbie, Violet and Alex’s son. Don’t worry, they’ve got it covered. It’ll be a fun night for everyone. What do you say?”

  Lainey’s fingers go to her mouth. “Will I need to dress up?”

  “Yeah, but I’ve already got that covered. I picked up a couple of dresses in your size that you can try on. Vi and the girls have someone coming over to do hair and makeup, and they’ve already reserved you a space.” I check the clock: she’s supposed to be at Sunny’s in a couple of hours if she agrees to go.

  “All the girls will be there?”

  “Yup, all of them.”

  “I’ve never gone out on New Year’s Eve before.”

  “No time like the present to try something new, right?” I cross my fingers that it’s something she’s willing to give a shot.

  “Okay.” She nods, resolved at first, before she hits me with one of her heart-melting smiles. “We can go out.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  I kiss her—enthusiastically—and it looks like it’s going to turn into a whole lot more until she realizes we’re under time constraints. Parts of me are disappointed, but the rest of me is excited that she’s excited, so I’m willing to delay the gratification.

  An hour later Lainey is freshly showered, wearing a loose button-down shirt and jeans, and loaded down with a pile of dresses. I added them to her wardrobe this week with the help of Stevie’s online shopping skills.

  I drop her off at Sunny and Miller’s place so she can get her hair and nails done with the girls. Violet greets us at the front door and holds up a hand when I try to come inside with Kody. “Babies and boyfriends are to head around the back. This is an adult-beaver-only zone. We’ll see you in a few hours.” And with that she closes the door in my face.

  I drop Kody off around the back of the house where Miller’s brood, Poppy and Lance’s kid, and Violet and Alex’s son are all hanging out with three nannies to support them. I hang out with the guys for an hour, have a beer, then go home and get ready myself.

  At seven thirty all the babies are put to sleep in their various cribs and playpens, and the bigger kids are snuggled up in Sunny and Miller’s little movie theater with popcorn and spill-proof cups of juice, so we head out for dinner.

  We have a private room in an exclusive restaurant, so we don’t have to worry about fans. Lainey looks fantastic in her slinky black dress, hair styled in a complicated series of braids that wrap around her head like a crown. I’ve seen her in plenty of dresses at this point but never quite this done up, and I can’t take my eyes off her—or keep my hands off her either.

  I’m relieved that she seems to be managing just fine, relaxed and comfortable around these women now that she’s had a few months to get to know them. I’ve tried to ease her into my life slowly, giving her the opportunity to face some of her big fears in her own time.

  After dinner we pile into the waiting limos and head to the bar. Lainey’s cheeks are flushed from wine at dinner, and she snuggles into my side. “This is fun. I’m glad you convinced me to go out tonight.”

  I press my lips to her temple. “Me too.”

  A lot of the guys are probably at the club already, since Ballistic sent the invite to the entire team. Even so, we’re a big group, and we draw attention. People recognize us as we’re ushered past the line of people waiting to get in, and a low murmur of excitement follows us.

  Lainey glues herself to my side, clutching my arm tightly as we enter the nightclub. Pounding bass greets us, and we walk down the dark, narrow hallway leading to the bar and the dance floor. There are several floors, and the room we’ve rented is up a level. Lainey says something I don’t quite catch. I lean down as we keep moving, the bass growing louder.

  We step out from the hallway into the main club, lights flashing to accompany the throbbing beat. Lainey’s grip on my arm tightens even more, and I worry that this is just too much for her. That the hypothetical was much more reasonable than the reality of this situation. She’s already had a long day, flying home with a baby, and now she’s way outside her comfort zone with this. I don’t think I should have pushed her into this. She can handle the pub just fine, but it took a few times before she was comfortable even there. When she comes to games they generally sit in the box rather than in the regular seats because it’s not as overwhelming, and this . . . well, this is a million times worse than that.

  It’s loud, there are people packed into every inch of the dance floor, and it’s slow moving through the throng of bodies toward the stairs that will get us to the second floor. I’m about to explain this to Lainey so she doesn’t start to panic, when all of a sudden the music is eclipsed by the sound of screaming.

  Between one breath and the next we’re completely swarmed by Chicago fans. We’ve been having an amazing season so far this year, and publicity has been high, so going out can be an issue—but this is over the top, even for us. I’m assuming it has to do with the flowing alcohol and the celebratory atmosphere.

  I attempt to put a protective arm around Lainey’s shoulder to keep her safe, but she’s not attached to my biceps anymore. Instead Violet, Charlene, and Lily form a protective semicircle around her and move her away from the screaming, clamoring fans.

  Poppy and Sunny squeeze by me. “We’ve got her, don’t worry.”

  As they move through the crowd I catch a glimpse of Lainey, craning to look over her shoulder as the girls usher her away. Her fingers are at her mouth, eyes wide with panic. She says something to one of the girls, face etched with concern, before she’s swallowed by the sea of bodies.

  Lance claps me on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Rookie, they’ll take care of her.”

  “But she hates crowds. I should’ve fucking known better. We haven’t been in here for more than two minutes.” My phone is in her purse, so I can’t even message her to find out where she is.

  “The girls have all been through this before—they’ll manage. Now smile and take some selfies with yer fans.”

  Dressed-up women and sweaty guys surround us. Arms wrap around my waist and camera phones flash in my face as more and more people realize there’s something going on that they want to be a part of. People push and shove each other out of the way. Two guys in the middle of the crowd bump chests like they’re thinking about having a go at each other, while the rest of the drunken fans skirt around them.

  Alex yells at everyone to calm down and take it easy as the horde of fans continues to grow. Security seems to have finally found their way to the fringe of the ever-expanding crowd, and they move people out of the way, trying to clear the congestion.

  Four girls make that weird duck face and snap a million selfies with our group behind them and their flashes on, blinding us all c
ollectively.

  I blink through the dots in my vision in time to see paramedics rush by, heading in the same direction the girls went. I have no idea how long we’ve been stuck here, signing napkins and taking pictures.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I ask Alex, who’s standing right beside me.

  “I dunno.”

  “What if something happened to Lainey? What if she’s having a panic attack?” I can feel my own chest tighten at the thought of her having one without me there to help calm her.

  “Let me check Violet’s messages.”

  Security finally breaks through the crowd and makes a path for us, giving us an out. I try to head in the direction the paramedics went, but I’m too big to get through the crowd without hurting people.

  “Shit, shit, shit.” I run my hands through my hair, my own anxiety ratcheting up. I turn and grab Alex by the lapels of his suit jacket. “What if she’s not okay? What if the goddamn paramedics are here for her? This was so fucking stupid. We should’ve stayed in tonight. Now she’s going to be totally overwhelmed. What if she decides this is too much? What if she can’t handle this part of my life? Shit. I can’t even handle it right now!”

  Time seems to move too quickly and too slowly. I have no idea how long it’s been since the paramedics came through. They could’ve gone out a back way with her.

  Alex claps me on the back of the neck. “Take a breath, man. It’s not always gonna be like this. The girls are with her, and they’re not going to let her go anywhere without you. Violet says they’re not in the bathroom anymore.”

  “Where the hell are they?”

  “It looks like they’re in the private room now.”

  My throat feels tight as I follow the security detail—which we probably should’ve had right from the start—up to the second floor. The private room overlooks the dance floor and is full of my teammates. I frantically scan the room for Lainey, but it’s dark, and everyone is freaking bigger than she is. I finally spot Violet in her red dress and beeline for her. “Where’s Lainey? Is she okay?”

  “She’s right over—” Violet thumbs over her shoulder, and I don’t even wait until she’s finished speaking before I head in the direction she pointed.

  I find Lainey in the corner over by the bar, flanked on either side by Sunny and Poppy. I grab her and pull her against my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. We can go home. I didn’t think it was going to be so intense. I’m so sorry.”

  She’s rigid in my arms, and I’m terrified that I’ve fucked this all up, that it’s too much too soon and that I’ve undone all the progress we’ve made with one stupid decision. She puts a hand on my chest and pushes, so I reluctantly release my hold on her and step back. My anxiety is through the roof, and I finally have some inkling as to how she must feel when things get totally out of control for her, because I feel like everything is out of control for me.

  “Take a breath.” Her warm, soft hand smooths up my chest.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. Let’s go home. We’ll use a back exit.”

  “RJ, I’m fine.” She settles a palm on my cheek, and I cover it with my hand, keeping her connected to me.

  “But we were swarmed.” I run my free hand down her arm and search her face and any other exposed skin for marks or bruises or any other sign that she’s been harmed in some way. “And then I couldn’t see where you’d gone and you have my phone and there were so many fucking people and I didn’t know where you were.” Jesus. I think I’m losing it right now.

  “Hey, hey.” Lainey takes my face in both her hands. “Deep breath, baby. I’m here, and I’m fine.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “Looks like my big teddy bear needs some safety cuddles.”

  I pull her against me, not really caring if I look weak or like an idiot, because she’s right. I need her—to feel her and know she’s safe and here. I bury my face against her neck and work on calming the hell down. “I thought this was going to be too much for you, and then you’d leave me.”

  She keeps her arms draped over my shoulders but leans back, forcing me to lift my head. “Why would I leave you over something like this?”

  I keep my arms locked around her waist so she can’t go anywhere, not that it seems like she’s planning to. “I just . . . I thought it would be too much like what happened when you were in college, and then you’d decide you couldn’t handle it, or me, or my life, and then you’d say forget it.”

  She fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. “You do realize how completely irrational that is, right?”

  I actually didn’t realize that at all until she pointed it out just now. “I panicked,” I say meekly.

  “I panic all the time, and you still love me, don’t you?”

  “You’re way more chill than you used to be.”

  “That’s because I have you and your safety cuddles and Kody and all of these amazing people who love and support me. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a swarm of fans to get rid of me, RJ.” She tips her chin up, looking for a kiss.

  I drop my head and steal a long one. “I love you,” I tell her when I finally come back up for air.

  “I love you too. Now, let’s do some shots.”

  CHAPTER 28

  QUESTIONS

  Rook

  Three months later

  Every time I open my underwear drawer I break out in nervous sweats. It makes me respect my girlfriend, the mother of my child, and future wife even more, because a lot of things make her feel this way and she always powers through.

  “So, are we planning a wedding or what?” my sister asks.

  “I haven’t asked y—”

  A loud bang interrupts me, like something metal hitting the floor. “Did you finally propose?” my mother yells enthusiastically. I spot her as an indistinct blur moving around in the kitchen.

  I give my sister a look—she could’ve warned me that our mom was listening in. She gives me her I’m sorry face, but it’s not very convincing.

  “He hasn’t asked yet, Mom,” Stevie supplies for me.

  “Oh. And here I was getting all excited for nothing,” she calls out.

  “You two could try getting excited about the fact that playoffs are coming up soon and Chicago is currently number one.”

  Stevie rolls her eyes. “I’ve been shopping for my disguise just in case Mom and I end up needing to come visit for the finals this year.”

  There’s noise in the background, and my mom asks something I don’t catch.

  Stevie smirks at whatever she said. “Mom wants to know what’s the holdup on the marriage proposal—and frankly, so do I. You’ve had that ring for months now.”

  Awesome—now both of them are getting on my ass about this. “I’m waiting for the right time.”

  “And when will that be? When you knock her up again?” My mom’s sass is second only to Violet’s.

  Stevie snickers. “Nice burn, Mom.”

  “I don’t think the two of you living together out there in LA is good for you.”

  “Don’t try to change the subject.” My mom’s face appears beside Stevie’s, and she pins me with a look. “And Stevie is probably moving in with her boyfriend at the end of the summer, so I’m going to enjoy what’s probably going to be the last time I have a fun roommate.”

  “Whoa. What? Moving in with your boyfriend? What the hell? Why don’t I know about this?” Stevie usually tells me everything, even the stuff I probably don’t want to know.

  “Because I don’t actually know if it’s going to happen.” Stevie pokes our mom in the shoulder. “I need to know what my summer plans are going to be, and you need to stop dragging your ass, because I’m banking on a short engagement so you and Lainey can get busy making more babies for me to love.”

  “You realize that this is a super uncomfortable conversation to have with my mom and sister, right?”

  “You tried to have the sex talk with me two years ago, like I was still fifteen, so this is payback. St
op waffling and just ask her, dammit.”

  “I’m not waffling. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to ask her. And I want to make sure she’s ready.”

  Stevie arches her brow. “You have a baby together, you live together, the last time we visited she was talking about how she thinks it would be best to have kids close together. I’m pretty damn sure she’s ready.”

  “I’d like to have more grandchildren,” Mom adds. “And it would be great if you could have a wedding before you give me another one. I’d also like to request a granddaughter if at all possible.”

  “First, let’s get him to propose, Mom.” Stevie grins evilly as Mom wanders back to the kitchen. “Look, Lainey doesn’t need some big grand gesture. She just needs you to ask so she can say yes, and then we can start planning, and you two can have more babies or whatever. I say go with simple. Maybe do that thing where they put the ring in the bottom of a champagne glass or something.”

  “What if she chokes on it, though?” Mom asks.

  “It was just a suggestion.” Stevie slaps her thighs. “What’s the thing that’s most symbolic of your relationship?”

  “Kody.” That’s a no-brainer.

  “So include him somehow. He’s the reason you’re together, so make him part of it.”

  “That’s actually a great idea.” Simon and I have had similar conversations over the past few months. I asked him back at Christmas for permission to marry Lainey, and since then he’s been on me about when I’m popping the question. He’s also mentioned the expansion draft quite a few times, and often those two conversations happen at the same time.

  Stevie smiles and bats her lashes. “See? Not just a pretty face.”

  “You’ve always been more than a pretty face, Stevie.”

  “So are you, RJ.”

  We all laugh, and I promise to call when I’ve popped the question, which hopefully will be tonight.

  I end the call and exhale a long, slow breath. I’ve put off this conversation long enough. Lainey’s contract with the aquarium is up in three weeks. It’s already March, and playoffs are around the corner. And after that the expansion draft picks will happen.