Lessons in Love

by Victoria Sinclair

  ‘Is that the only reason you called?’ he asked, his voice slightly chilly.

  ‘N…no. I promised I’d ask about your father and…and there’s something else I wanted to discuss with you.’

  ‘Oh? Let me guess. You’ve decided to accept my proposal.’ Her heart thudded uncomfortably at the coldness of his voice.

  ‘W…well…ah…yes…’ she stammered.

  ‘I see.’ He said no more.

  ‘Will you come to Bayani’s?’ She bit her lip at the tremor in her tone. Why was she always saying and doing the wrong thing?

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll be there. I wouldn’t want to let Mark down. I’ll see you then.’ And the phone went dead in her ear. She put the receiver down slowly and sank into her chair. It was not supposed to have gone that way!

  ‘Oh no!’ she muttered, and thumped her elbows down on the table, holding her head in her hands. ‘How stupid am I?’ she asked rhetorically, knowing the answer exactly. No wonder Nicholas had been so cold! He thought she’d only accepted his proposal in light of his reversal over his decision regarding Overington Industries. It hadn’t been like that at all! But in the mood he was in now, how could she convince him otherwise?

  Nicholas was coldly polite as she greeted him in the foyer of the expensive restaurant. ‘Emily,’ he said, nodding to her, before greeting Mark and Lisa effusively.

  ‘You’re glowing, Lisa,’ he complimented the radiant woman, who blushed like a teenager.

  ‘Thank you,’ she replied demurely. Mark laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

  ‘Thanks for coming on such short notice, Nicholas. If it weren’t for you…’ Nicholas nodded in understanding.

  ‘Let’s sit down. Then we’ll talk.’ Emily trailed behind the other three, feeling left out. She was seated across from Nicholas, reminding her all too well of the night they’d had dinner at Luigi’s. And if she hadn’t known better, she’d have thought Nicholas’s opinion of her hadn’t changed one whit in that time!

  The waiter came by immediately with drink menus, and Mark ordered a bottle of expensive French champagne. Emily raised an eyebrow, which was echoed by Nicholas. She couldn’t help wondering what he thought of the extravagance now he’d just agreed to loan Mark two hundred thousand dollars.

  ‘A toast!’ said Mark, once their drinks were poured. ‘To Nicholas Cavanaugh, Rutherford’s, and hopefully a prosperous partnership with Overington Industries!’

  ‘Here! Here!’ the others chimed in simultaneously, and for a moment Emily was carried away by the excitement, but Nicholas abruptly brought her back down to earth.

  ‘Now that’s out of the way, I wanted to clarify a few points regarding our new agreement.’ Mark raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised by this business talk at their celebratory lunch. ‘Perhaps now isn’t the best time, but I’ve learned not to put the facts off for too long. You know there will have to be some changes, don’t you Mark? I didn’t want to burst your bubble, but that loan doesn’t come without its own stipulations.’

  ‘Oh honestly Nicholas!’ Emily snapped, unable to contain herself. ‘This is supposed to be a celebratory dinner! You can talk shop with Mark later. Let’s try and enjoy ourselves!’ Surprisingly Nicholas looked slightly abashed, and then smiled good-humouredly, but Emily saw the quick flicker of annoyance in his eyes that the others didn’t seem to notice.

  ‘The lady’s got a point. I won’t ruin the meal by boring you with details.’ And from then the entire atmosphere at the table picked up again. Nicholas engaged Lisa in conversation, while Mark told Emily excitedly of his plans for the future. All in all it was a satisfactory meal, but like all good things, it eventually came to an end.

  Emily had driven to the restaurant from work, having a lecture straight after lunch. Fortunately her recalcitrant Volvo was now back in working order, albeit several hundred dollars later, and while she’d parked some distance from Mark and Lisa, she soon realised she was just three cars from Nicholas’s BMW.

  After bidding Mark and Lisa a fond farewell, she walked beside Nicholas to their respective cars.

  ‘Nicholas!’ she called, as he walked away from her without a word and reached for the door handle on his car. He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable.

  ‘Yes?’ he asked blandly. She took a deep breath and walked over to him.

  ‘A word?’ she asked. He shrugged lightly.

  ‘Jump in. We’ve got a while before the lecture begins.’ She climbed in his luxurious car beside him, reflecting on the remarkable differences in their modes of transportation.

  ‘First of all, I’m sorry that you misinterpreted my phone call earlier,’ she began.

  ‘I did? I thought I interpreted you all too clearly.’

  ‘No. You didn’t,’ she said firmly. ‘For starters, I’d already decided to accept your proposal before Mark told me. That was just the icing on the cake as far as I was concerned. I won’t pretend I’m not happy about it, Nicholas, I am. But that wasn’t why I changed my mind.’

  ‘Then why did you?’ His voice was softer, probing her for the right answer.

  ‘I changed my mind because I realised you were right. Our child needs both parents. A mother and a father who are together, not apart. I didn’t get that as a child, and I longed for it.’ Nicholas nodded, a slightly distant expression on his face. ‘I thought you’d be happier,’ she said wryly. Nicholas sucked in a deep breath of air and paused before continuing.

  ‘I am happy. I’m not over the moon, but then again, under the circumstances how could I be? But we’ll make this work, Emily. I’m determined of that, at least.’ And the firm set of his jaw confirmed his words. She nodded.

  ‘I know. So am I. I’ll do what I have to, as long as you do, too.’

  ‘We’ll discuss specifics later then. It’s time I got to the university. I’ve still got the class notes to go over.’ And with that Emily knew she was dismissed. She walked away from his car feeling bittersweet. They’d do the best they could, she thought, but would it be enough?

  Now that she’d agreed to become Nicholas’s wife, she owed her brother and sister some major explanations. It probably wasn’t fair that she’d kept them in the dark for so long, and she felt bad about it. But at the time, there hadn’t seemed much choice. She sighed. Unfortunately, things didn’t always go the way one planned.

  ‘Guys, I have something to tell you,’ she said, bracing herself as they sat down together at the dinner table.

  ‘What?’ Veronica asked, frowning slightly. Emily’s heart thudded uncomfortably in her chest. The choices she’d made were going to affect her brother and sister almost as much as they affected her, and she hoped they’d come to understand her position and why things had to be this way.

  ‘Get on with it, Emily,’ Steven continued.

  ‘OK. This will probably come as a shock to you. I wish I’d told you earlier, but the time hasn’t been right.’ They stared at her with identical expressions of apprehension. She took another deep breath. ‘Nicholas Cavanaugh and I are getting married.’ For a second her siblings stared at her, stunned, but then Steven snickered and began to laugh, and in response Veronica did the same.

  ‘That’s funny, Emily! You almost had us going there!’ She shook her head slowly.

  ‘No joke, Steve, Verri. It’s real.’

  ‘I don’t understand. You hardly even know him! And I didn’t think you even liked him all that much. Besides, you sound like your best friend just died, not like a person who’s about to get married. What gives?’ Emily steeled herself. Now came the hardest part of all, and she wasn’t sure they’d understand. She’d done her best to educate Steven and Veronica wisely when it came to sex education. She’d cautioned them to wait until they were well and truly ready before having sex, and to always be careful about contraception. Although they were still only young, and far too young to even be considering sex in Emily’s opinion, she’d heard too many tales of youngsters getting involved with each other sexually because
of peer group pressure and inadequate education. Now everything she’d taught them would seem like a lie.

  ‘We’re getting married because…I’m going to have a baby.’ There she’d said it. Steven’s mouth dropped open, followed by Veronica’s, and then two faces both went very red, Emily’s unfortunately following soon after.

  ‘But how?’ wailed Veronica.

  ‘You know how, Veronica!’ Steven snapped derisively. Emily looked down at her hands. ‘But what about everything you’ve told us?’ He turned to Emily, scowling angrily at her. ‘I thought you were supposed to be in love before…you know. And I thought you were supposed to be careful. At least, that’s what you’ve always said!’ The anger in her brother’s voice was unmistakable, and Emily didn’t blame him a bit. She had to be very careful about what she said to them from now on.

  ‘I made a mistake,’ she confessed softly. ‘And I hope…I really, truly hope…that you both can learn from this not to make the same mistake yourselves.’ There was nothing more she could say, the tone of her voice and sadness on her face said it all.

  ‘I’m sorry, Emily,’ Steven finally said, knowing instinctively how bad she felt. ‘It’s just…what about us? What are we going to do when you get married? Will Nicholas be moving in here?’

  ‘No. He’s bought a big house near the lake. It’s much nicer than ours, and in a wonderful location. There’s plenty of room for all of us.’

  ‘But I don’t want to move!’ Veronica exclaimed belligerently. Emily smiled at her softly.

  ‘Neither do I, really. But it’s a lovely place Verri. You’ll come to be very happy there. I know you may not be ready to believe me, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry to both of you for this. This wasn’t something I planned.’

  ‘But Emily, how can you marry him if you don’t love him?’ Steven asked. Emily smiled wryly.

  ‘I do love him,’ she replied simply. ‘I think, perhaps, I always have. But…he’s my lecturer, and right from the start I was determined not to have feelings for him. And I guess…he felt the same way about me.’ She didn’t want to confess to her brother and sister that Nicholas didn’t love her, that he was marrying her for the sake of their child. She didn’t want to shatter their illusions that much. She’d already done far too much damage, and only time and patience would help repair the rifts she’d made in their relationship.

  After Steven and Veronica had gone to bed, Emily sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee, lost in thought. She’d been expecting a phone call from Nicholas, so when the phone rang she wasn’t surprised. ‘Hello,’ she said.

  ‘Emily. I’m glad you’re home. I know this is short notice, but I’d like to pop around to your place, if possible.’

  ‘That would be a good idea,’ she agreed. ‘We still have a lot to discuss.’

  ‘Yes, we do. And not all of it good, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Oh?’ Her heart leapt into her throat at the sound of his tone, and he chuckled in reassurance.

  ‘Not that bad. I’ll see you at nine, if that’s OK?’

  ‘Nine’s fine,’ she agreed. They certainly did have a lot to talk about, and where they’d start she had no idea.

  Nicholas’s car pulled up into the driveway just before nine o’clock and Emily braced herself, plastering a smile on her face as she got up to answer the door.

  ‘You look beautiful, Emily,’ Nicholas complimented her, smiling down on her from his position outside the door. ‘Here.’ He pulled a bunch of flowers out from behind his back. ‘These are for you. They’re my way of saying…heck, I don’t know…sorry, maybe?’

  ‘Come in Nicholas.’ She stood back and allowed him entrance to the house. ‘Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful. But you have nothing to say sorry for. From now on, I think we should clear the slate, leave the past behind us and work on the future. What do you say?’ she asked hopefully. He smiled warmly in response.

  ‘That would be an excellent idea! Now, where can I put these flowers?’

  ‘I’ll find a vase. Please, sit down. Can I get you something to drink?’

  ‘A coffee would be great.’ Emily placed the flowers in a vase on the table, and made some coffee. She’d already had two cups since coming home, and knew she’d have a hard time getting to sleep tonight.

  They sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment before Nicholas spoke.

  ‘Obviously, as far as university’s concerned there can be no change in our relationship. If I had my way, I’d marry you this instant, but that would make things very hard for you academically. So we’re going to have to wait until July.’ He looked at her sombrely.

  ‘And?’ Emily asked, fully anticipating the bad news he had to tell her.

  ‘And that’s it.’

  ‘Oh!’ Emily smiled in relief. ‘That’s all.’

  ‘Well, not quite. You also have to meet my parents.’

  ‘Oh.’ Emily’s heart sank as she pictured the inevitable confrontation. How would his parents, undoubtedly educated, respectable, upper class citizens take their son marrying someone like Emily?

  ‘Come now, it’s not that bad,’ he said, smiling gently at her. ‘You’ll like them, and I know that they’ll love you.’ Emily wasn’t so sure. What if they thought she’d become pregnant just so she could snare a man like Nicholas? After all, she wasn’t well off and she had a brother and sister to support as well as herself. She’d have to be an idiot not to have considered what a difference marrying Nicholas would make to their lives.

  ‘The very good news is that the real estate agent called today and said the current owners of the house are moving out this week. I’d love for you, Steven and Veronica to move in with me immediately, but under the circumstances I don’t think that would be a good idea. At least I’ll be able to get the place set up though, so when we are married you’ll be able to move straight in, and everything will be just as you like it.’

  ‘That sounds lovely,’ she said inadequately.

  ‘Have you told Steven and Veronica about us yet?’ She nodded. ‘How did they take it?’

  ‘About as well as could be expected.’ She smiled ruefully at him, and he reached across the table and took her hand.

  ‘They’ll come around. You’ll see. It’ll just be a bit of an adjustment for them.’

  ‘For all of us,’ she agreed.

  ‘That reminds me, I’ve arranged an appointment for you to see Dr Richmond. He’s very hard to get into, so I had to wrangle things a bit. How’s Monday lunchtime sound?’ He knew that she stopped work before lunch on a Monday before going to uni, but it irked her that he had everything so well organised. Surely she could have made her own arrangements to see a doctor? But she didn’t want to start an argument now, especially when things were going so smoothly between them.

  ‘No problem. I just hope you’ll understand if I’m late to class because of it,’ she joked, reminding him of their first encounter. He laughed softly.

  ‘It seems hard to believe that it was just a couple of months ago, doesn’t it? How much things have changed.’

  ‘Yes, they certainly have. There’s one other thing we haven’t discussed, and that’s what I’m to do about my work and study when we’re married. Obviously with a baby my time will be limited, but I don’t want to be a financial burden to you.’ Nicholas laughed out loud.

  ‘A financial burden? That’s nonsense, Emily! You’d never be a burden on me. Of course you’ll have to give up work when the baby’s born. And we’ll organise a nanny to care for the child while you attend class. You’re only going part time, so things will work out well.’ Emily gave a half-hearted smile in response. Of course, Nicholas was being logical, but she prided herself on her independence and relying on someone else was going to come hard. Under the circumstances it would be foolish for her to even consider staying on at work, but it was a part of her life which would not be all that easy to give up.

  ‘I have to confess, I don’t know much about organising weddings,’ Nicholas said. Emily
raised a sardonic eyebrow.

  ‘And you think I do?’ Then she laughed. ‘OK, maybe more than you. I helped Sonya a lot with hers. She’ll know all the ins and outs of everything. But…’ She paused a moment, gathering her thoughts. ‘What sort of wedding to you expect us to have?’ Up until the word had been mentioned, she’d imagined a registry office setting. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to make a big fuss. She had few relatives to invite, and only a few close friends.

  Nicholas frowned at her worried expression and shrugged. ‘A regular sort of wedding? Don’t all women dream of a white wedding in church, surrounded by friends and family?’

  ‘I guess. I hadn’t really thought about it.’

  ‘If you want something smaller…’

  ‘Something cosy and intimate would be nice,’ she agreed. ‘And I’m not sure how I feel about a church wedding, or about wearing white.’ She felt herself flush. Nicholas laughed.

  ‘I don’t think anyone really minds nowadays, Emily.’

  ‘Yes, but I suppose I was a little traditional in my upbringing. I think I’d feel hypocritical standing before a priest in church while several months pregnant.’

  ‘We’ll think of a happy alternative then. You may not believe this, Emily, but I want your wedding day to be special for you. I really do.’ Why? She thought sadly. Because that was the best she’d get from their marriage? Nicholas stood.

  ‘It’s time I was leaving,’ he said walking over and giving her a swift kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ll be in touch.’ Emily watched sadly as Nicholas walked away from her, wondering where the passion she’d once seen in him had gone. Just short weeks ago he’d been unable to keep his hands off her, and now he left her with a peck on the cheek. If only she could see the fervour of his desire for her ignited once again!

  Nicholas invited Emily, Veronica and Steven to his new house on the weekend so he could get their opinions on interior decorating. He was planning on outfitting the house entirely with brand new furniture. His apartment in Melbourne had been ultra-modern and now he was after something different, and wanted his future wife and future brother- and sister-in-law to be comfortable with the home he was making for them.