Her Not-So-Secret Diary

by Anne Oliver

  Jared must have caught the vibes; he’d put at least an arm span between them and guilt pierced the self-preservation she normally surrounded herself with. ‘I really don’t mind. She’s your sister… If you want to—’

  ‘No big deal, I’ll do it later. We’re here.’ He stopped at the next wide glass door and pushed it open, the air-conditioned swirl mingling with the aroma of hot fat. ‘Rico. Buongiorno.’

  ‘Buongiorno.’ The rotund swarthy man beaming at Jared as if he was some long-lost friend looked to be in his late forties. He also looked as if he’d been dining on his own menu for a good many of those years. ‘Didn’t expect to see you down this way today.’

  ‘Had a spare hour.’

  ‘And you haven’t come alone.’ He shone his beam on Sophie.

  ‘Rico, meet Sophie. Sophie, Rico. A serve of your best chips to go, please, my friend. And a cappuccino for my hard-working colleague here.’

  ‘Very happy to make your acquaintance, Sophie.’ Rico winked at her as he scooped chips into a wire basket, lowered it into the fryer. ‘If this man doesn’t treat you right, I have a brother. Has his own seafood restaurant in Broadbeach. He’s single and better looking.’

  Sophie shoved her sunglasses on top of her head. She glanced at Jared, caught him looking at her and didn’t quite smother her grin. ‘I’ll keep it in mind.’

  ‘Get Jared to take you there for dinner one night.’

  She jerked her gaze back to Rico. ‘Oh…no. I’m…we’re not…dating.’

  His thick black brows rose, then a look of pure devilment danced in his dark eyes. ‘Why not?’

  ‘I’m just temping at Jared’s office for the day…’ Why had she said the D word, for heaven’s sake? Rico had no doubt meant a business dinner. But it had just burst out…and, oh, she wished the floor would open up and swallow her.

  ‘Don’t listen to him, Sophie,’ Jared said, his voice tinged with amusement, and to Rico, ‘Did you go over those figures with Enzo yet?’

  And just what had Jared meant by that look he’d given Rico? To her relief, he seemed to have forgotten she was there already. To keep from feeling like a spare part and to give them some privacy since they were discussing business, she crossed to one of the little round tables by the window, sat down and flicked through a well-thumbed women’s magazine.

  Anything to keep from looking at him. Or admiring the cut to the trousers that showcased long legs and firm butt and imagining… No. Frowning, she forced herself to refocus on the latest celebrity break-up.

  Her eyes remained on the page but her mind worked as the guys talked. The familiarity and bond between the two was obvious. Jared hadn’t taken an hour out of his day to ‘forget about the office’ and entertain her. He’d used the opportunity to catch up with Rico and make it seem as if he were doing Sophie a favour at the same time. Very clever.

  ‘Bring your coffee,’ he said, dragging her out of her contemplation, ‘and let’s go see the beach.’

  They took their white paper-wrapped package to the esplanade and sat on a bench overlooking the sand. The sea’s boom-dump vibrated through the soles of her feet. The gulls swooped in noisily from nowhere the moment Sophie unwrapped the shared snack. She took a chip, broke it open, popped a piece in her mouth. Then she threw the other half to the birds to watch them squawk and squabble while she sipped at her much anticipated frothy cappuccino.

  ‘You’re right, they’re yummy,’ she said, reaching for another while carefully avoiding Jared’s fingers. She hadn’t eaten chips this good since she couldn’t remember when.

  ‘Haven’t done this in a while,’ Jared said, popping the top on his can of soda.

  ‘Probably just as well. Salt, fat, calories. Too much of a good thing…’

  Sophie watched, mesmerised as he downed his cola in deep slow swallows that made his Adam’s apple bob amazingly. He lifted his lips from the can a moment and smiled, eyes twinkling. ‘You can never have too much of a good thing, Sophie.’

  Oh, the way he said that, all luscious and low as if he was talking about sex. And drawing her attention to his lips, wet with the cola…and they’d be cool and sweet…

  Not going there.

  She plucked another fat, fragrant chip, slid it between her lips and, closing her eyes, savoured every drop of excess. If she couldn’t have sex, at least she could eat. ‘So…’ Licking the salt from her fingers, she opened her eyes once more to find him still watching her. More precisely, watching her mouth. ‘That’s your opinion and you’re sticking to it.’

  ‘A good thing is only a good thing for as long as you enjoy it.’

  Glen had lived by that code too, Sophie remembered. She drained her coffee to mask the sudden bitterness in her mouth. ‘Then what? You discard it for another passing fancy?’

  ‘If it’s not bringing you pleasure, then yeah.’

  Her fingers tightened around the polystyrene cup. ‘Sounds totally self-absorbed to me.’

  He laughed. ‘Probably. And why not? So long as it’s not hurting anyone else…’

  ‘Exactly.’ She relented. Okay, maybe he didn’t include relationships in that particular philosophy. It seemed he genuinely cared about people. Rico. His sisters. Even Pam. He was one of the good guys after all. And mega rich, mega gorgeous, mega motivated.

  She noticed his gaze had turned speculative and probing. Something glimmered in the green depths and her heart skipped a beat. Did he read minds as well? Looking away, she took aim and tossed her empty cup neatly into the trash can.

  ‘What about your favourites list? What can’t you have too much of, Sophie?’

  You. Naked. Inside me.

  Her skin warmed, prickled, and she swore every internal organ turned to mush. She felt like an over-ripe peach, ready to be plucked, split apart and plundered. Gloriously and within an inch of her life.

  Liquid heat gathered between her thighs and she bit the inside of her lip. Had she just accused him of being self-absorbed? Behind her sunglasses she met his unshielded gaze and reminded herself of what she really wanted these days. ‘Wealth,’ she said, reaching for the bottled water in her bag. She sucked it down with a vengeance. ‘And independence.’

  He looked surprised, as if he’d expected her to say something indulgent or female, like chocolate or shoes. A crease dug a groove between his brows. ‘Sounds a little sad and lonely.’

  ‘Why?’ Annoyed with his response, she tipped her bottle in his direction. ‘You don’t strike me as lonely. Or sad. You’ve obviously worked towards those same goals all your life, and by all accounts you’ve succeeded better than most.’ Which made him a hypocrite or sexist or both. ‘So don’t tell me you’re not happy with your success.’

  ‘That goes without saying and I assume you’re talking financial success. But mostly I’m happy because I don’t allow myself to think any other way. Doesn’t mean I don’t have my disappointments.’

  Not knowing how to respond, she nodded as she reached for another chip. With his wealth and charisma, she’d not thought of Jared as a man to experience setbacks. Which was totally naïve of her. Everyone had setbacks. It was how one dealt with them.

  He gave the impression that he was powerful enough to accomplish whatever he wanted, but she knew nothing of his background or what obstacles he’d overcome to get to where he was.

  Before she could form a question around that, he said, ‘I take it family and kids figure somewhere in all that wealth and independence.’

  A few years ago Sophie’s answer would have been an unequivocal yes. Despite the emotional trauma she’d experienced growing up in a family where booze and violence were the norm, she’d always believed it could be different for her. All those years of growing up with her collection of dolls and romantic ever afters, but now…

  Reality check.

  For the second time in less than an hour a reminder that her female body had let her down in the baby-making department. Which was hardly relevant since she had no intention of getting serious wi
th a man, ever again. Still, it was failure and she chugged on her water bottle to take a moment to compose herself.

  She pushed herself up from the bench, grateful for her sunglasses shield. ‘Not me.’ She laughed, turning seaward and throwing her hands wide. ‘Why tie yourself down with kids when you can travel the world? Do what you choose when you choose. Live life the way you want.’ She turned to him and nodded. ‘Yes, I’m completely and unashamedly selfish. I admit it.’

  Shading his forehead with a hand, Jared studied her through eyes squinted against the beach’s glare. Hard to tell if she was being completely truthful because he couldn’t read her eyes behind her sunglasses. Thanks to her, he’d left his own damn sunglasses in the car. She’d thrown him off course last night with her dream, and twelve hours later nothing had changed.

  ‘Good for you,’ he said, crushing the empty chip wrapper and standing too. ‘I like an honest woman who’s not afraid to say what she means.’

  Why not take her at her word? he decided. He had no reason not to. So she admitted she was selfish—didn’t matter to him in the great scheme of things. Besides, he had a feeling she wasn’t as self-absorbed as she let on. He picked up his empty cola can and headed for the bin. ‘It’s time to make a move.’

  At least she was upfront about what she wanted, he mused as they drove back to Surfers. Rico was right—Sophie was a beautiful woman. And red hot to boot. He’d not had a woman in too long, which was why his skin felt as if it were on fire and he couldn’t for the life of him, get her out of his head. Beautiful. Single. Living in the moment.

  Bianca had been the same, he remembered, with her wild sensual beauty and Bohemian lifestyle. God only knew why—when he thought about it with the wisdom of five years more maturity—but he’d fancied himself in love and had asked her to marry him.

  But Bianca had refused to accept twelve-year-old Melissa as part of the deal. Something Jared didn’t compromise on was Melissa’s well-being, so it had been bye-bye Bianca.

  After he’d picked up the pieces of his heart and fitted them back together, he’d realised he and Bianca would never have made it work in the long term.

  But circumstances were different now. Melissa was more or less independent even if she did still live at home. So…if he and Sophie got together… From the outset he knew Sophie wasn’t going to be long term. She was going overseas, so there was no possibility of anything serious developing between them.

  Not that he could ever get serious with a happy wanderer who didn’t like kids. He wasn’t looking for marriage right now, but when he settled down he wanted a woman who held the same values he did. A lifetime commitment to family. Sharing, trust. And children.

  But that wasn’t now.

  A few weeks with no-strings Sophie wouldn’t be a hardship. Wouldn’t be a hardship at all… He just had to seduce Sophie a little, tempt her with a taste of her own desires, her private fantasies… He ran a hand around the back of his neck, shifted on the seat as his blood pumped a little faster around his body. Then a smile touched his lips. Who knew her desires better than him? Who better than Jared to make those fantasies a reality?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  MEETINGS took up the rest of the morning. In the afternoon Jared escorted a millionaire businessman from Dubai and his entourage on a tour of inspection of a dozen complexes and resorts. Negotiations followed over a late lunch in one of Surfers Paradise’s top restaurants.

  He’d left Sophie an overflowing outbox and several reports to edit, file, print, mail.

  Jared would be the first to acknowledge that Pam was a brilliant PA. She knew her stuff, was ruthlessly efficient, indispensable, in fact, and he’d hate to lose her. But he had to admit that behind her desk she tended to merge into the background.

  Not Sophie Buchanan.

  On his return at five-thirty, before he reached his office he could smell that sparkling fresh fragrance that had been spinning inside his head all day, making him think inappropriate thoughts. Taking his focus away from work.

  Instead of concentrating on ways to convince Najeeb Assad that transforming an aging condominium building into a slice of paradise was a sound business decision, Jared had been visualising Sophie astride him on his office chair, her fragrant skin glowing with a sheen of sweat while she rode him hard and fast…

  To Jared’s relief, Mr Assad had concurred with his suggestions for renovation, but it could easily have gone the other way—and that concerned him. Jared had never allowed himself or his work to be sidetracked by a woman before.

  It reinforced his belief that it was an idiot boss who got personally involved with his employees. So he afforded Sophie only a brief acknowledgement on his way through late in the afternoon, issuing a practical, ‘Can I see you in my office with those reports you worked on yesterday in thirty minutes, please?’

  Blowing out a breath, he dropped into his chair. With Pam due back tomorrow, he needed to go over yesterday’s work with Sophie. But in a couple of hours he could loosen up and enjoy getting to know her better. On a more personal level.

  Meanwhile he pulled out this afternoon’s paperwork, skimmed it before setting it aside and working through the day’s emails. From his position he couldn’t see her beyond his door, but he could hear her moving around, the sounds of her desk drawer opening, closing.

  Five minutes before she was due, the quick rat-a-tat had him half rising as he looked up from his screen. The smile already on his lips stalled… ‘Lissa. Hi. I wasn’t expecting you.’

  Her brows rose. ‘Clearly. You look stunned. Rabbit-caught-in-headlights stunned. So who were you expecting?’ Not anticipating an answer, she crossed the room, set a bag of Chinese takeout in front of him. ‘I was on my way home and remembered you said you were working late. Extra Special Fried Rice from the Lotus Pearl. See, I do care about you.’

  Its spicy aroma steamed through the plastic carry bag. He wondered if he could extend it to two. ‘Thanks, Liss, that’s very thoughtful of you and I appreciate it, but I’m not working alone tonight.’

  ‘Didn’t you say Pam was off sick? Ah-h-h…’ He’d never seen that knowing, womanly expression on his baby sister’s face and it threw him for a loop. ‘You mean that attractive long-legged brunette in the staffroom lounge making café lattes—for two.’ Her grin widened—irritatingly so. ‘That kind of working late.’

  ‘No, Liss.’ Resisting the temptation to rub the back of his neck, he pushed out of his seat and grabbed a folder on his bookshelf. ‘That’s not it.’

  ‘I believe you.’ She pressed her lips together but the sparkle of humour in her eyes betrayed her. Rising up on tiptoe, she pecked his cheek and murmured, ‘Don’t work too hard. Or too late.’

  Sophie stopped dead outside Jared’s door, a café latte in each hand. The sight of the petite but gorgeous Titian-haired female kissing his jaw had her stomach knotting in a strange way. So his almost-flirty conversation this morning had been her imagination. The imagination she’d told him she didn’t have.

  Her imagination was working just fine now.

  As she watched the redhead turn towards the door, Sophie’s inner turmoil grew. The girl must be at least a decade younger than him.

  And Sophie could cast stones? Hadn’t Sophie been years younger than Glen? So young, too young. Too young to know the dangers of falling for the wrong type of man. All she’d wanted was an escape, to feel safe, to belong with someone. To matter. Instead, she’d jumped from one disaster into another.

  Before Sophie could analyse her way out of the instant over-reaction, the girl caught sight of her and smiled. ‘Hi.’ Her aquamarine eyes sparked with feminine curiosity and friendly interest and Sophie couldn’t help but like her even though her stomach was tied in double knots.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured. ‘I’ll come back.’

  Jared looked up, bright eyes finding hers. ‘No, it’s okay, come in. Melissa, this is Sophie.’

  Sophie propelled herself towards Jared’s desk with a breathy
kind of, ‘Hi.’

  He leaned across and rescued the listing lattes from her stiff fingers. ‘Liss brought some fried rice by.’

  ‘That was kind.’ Ridiculously relieved for the second time today, Sophie smiled back, her gaze darting between the two but finding no resemblance. Charm and charisma obviously ran in the family, however. ‘Pleased to meet you, Melissa.’

  ‘Likewise.’ Her voice practically bounced with enthusiasm as she stepped back. ‘I’ll leave you two to get on with whatever…’ With a glance at her brother, she swung her bag onto her shoulder, then smiled at Sophie on her way out. ‘Get Jared to bring you over some time.’

  ‘Ah…hmm. Bye for now.’

  Was there some sort of conspiracy going on? She could have reiterated that she was temping for the day, that they weren’t dating, but she’d been there, said that, this morning. Now hot, flustered and empty-handed, she made an abrupt about-turn as Melissa passed, murmuring, ‘I’ll just get those reports…’

  When she reached her desk, she pressed both palms on its smooth cool surface and took a deep calming breath. Closed her eyes a moment and listened to the muted office sounds as the few staff still remaining closed down computers or chatted outside the elevator bank.

  Why was everyone so interested in Jared’s social life? More incredible and disturbing were suggestions that she be involved. The fact that he shared a place with his sister surprised her. Surely a man like him would have his own apartment and want to do his own no-doubt-frequent ‘entertaining’ without a kid sister around, even if said sister was practically an adult?

  Sophie didn’t care what Pam said, a man with that much sex appeal must have women falling over themselves to get his attention. Pam had meant the workplace, where he was by all accounts legendary for his strict workplace ethics.

  And this was the workplace.

  Ergo, anything remotely flirty or sexual was off-limits.

  Their quick trip to Coolangatta this morning had been a time-out away from the office, Sophie reasoned, hence a little more relaxed. A teensy bit flirty even. But since they’d been back around mid-morning he’d certainly been all business, barely noticing her except to slide some paperwork across her desk to be mailed just before he disappeared around lunchtime for the rest of the day.