Whirlwind

by Reese Morrison

  Taylor’s pounding heart began to slow down. He realized that was how it had been the whole time—Julio wasn’t taking away his control, just asking him to give it to him for safe keeping. Once he had a moment to think about it, he realized that he felt safe. There was no one that he trusted more.

  Julio looked down at the makeup kit and then back at Taylor. “My thought for tonight was something pretty subtle. No one would realize you were wearing it unless they really looked. Will you try it for me?”

  “We can take it off if I don’t like it?”

  “Of course, baby.” Julio gave him a gentle kiss. “Now, close your eyes.”

  Taylor felt a soft pressure on his eyelids and tried to keep still. It only took a couple strokes, and then Julio was clicking open another small case, circular this time. He brushed something from it onto Taylor’s cheeks.

  The next one was a weird little brush on a stick that he thought was supposed to be for eyes or something, but Julio prompted him to open his mouth and then applied it to his lips. He wiped off a bit with a piece of tissue.

  “Alright, love. Come see yourself.”

  Taylor was dreading the mirror, but he stood anyway. He might as well get it over with.

  But when he got there, it was… it was like someone completely different staring back at him. His eyes glowed and lips were kissably pink, but Julio was right. It didn’t look like he was wearing makeup. By some magic, he was actually, maybe, pretty.

  And his hair was cute. It softened his face somehow and made him look younger. It was a little bit messy, but artfully so.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Yes. Yes!” He wheeled around and crushed Julio in a hug. “I didn’t know I could look like this.”

  Julio rocked him slowly back and forth. “I wanted you to see yourself the way that I see you.”

  Taylor buried his head in Julio’s shoulder, then lifted it quickly.

  Julio chuckled. “The salesperson assured me it wouldn’t smudge.”

  “Did you just… is that what you were doing at lunch today?”

  “Yep! I made her show me how to put it on about six times. You can still see some blue on the back of my hand.” He held it out for inspection.

  “You did this for me?”

  Julio grinned. “Yep. This are yours now…. But I hope you’ll wear it for me.”

  ***

  The drive to the restaurant was a blur. Just like everything else, it was a disorienting mix of old and new. They’d driven in Julio’s truck over to one restaurant or another thousands of times, but today Julio rested his hand on Taylor’s knee. It made him feel shivery and nervous, even while the familiar broken knob on the stereo calmed him down.

  He knew Julio. Just not like this.

  He was almost inside the restaurant, Julio’s hand at the small of his back, before he realized where they were going. “Arturo’s?” he screeched. “You’re taking me to Arturo’s?”

  “Yes, love. I thought you would like it.”

  “I mean, I do. But it’s really fancy. And expensive.” He knew what Julio’s pay checks looked like because he paid them.

  “It is. But remember, tonight I’m treating you.”

  Taylor didn’t know how to respond. He felt like he was being swept off his feet, but he couldn’t quite let go and allow the sweeping to happen. Buying the makeup was one thing. Probably not too pricey, he hoped, and at least it would last for a long time.

  This was a whole different thing. It just felt so… serious. Like a real date that meant something. How would he go back to his real life when Julio got sick of him?

  Julio took advantage of his silence and guided him forward. Inside, Julio calmly gave his name to the maître d’. They were led to an adorable little table at the back, lit by a candle in a silvery globe and decorated with a spray of fresh flowers.

  Julio looked like he was going to help Taylor sit down, like a gentleman, but Taylor had already moved and the waiter was in the way, and it all got mixed up. Now he felt silly. He was ruining this whole thing. They should have just gone to McDonald’s.

  “You had a reservation?” Taylor hissed as soon as they were seated. “Why did you ask me where I wanted to go?”

  “Darling, I would have cancelled if you wanted to go somewhere else. It just takes a phone call. If you must know, I planned out two separate evenings and a back-up, depending on what you wanted.”

  “What was your other plan?”

  Julio grinned. “Oh, I’m saving that for another time.”

  That sounded sweet. But… another time with him? Or another guy? He was pretty sure that Julio didn’t take his hook ups out for dinner, but he still just wasn’t feeling confident about all of this. He couldn’t accept all of this until he knew it wasn’t going to be taken away.

  Julio tried to strike up a conversation as he helped himself to the soft, white rolls and little dish of butter. But Taylor was still too nervous to really make sense of what he was saying, or even eat. He pressed the squishy bread in his hands.

  When the waiter came by to ask for their orders, the whole menu swam in front of his eyes. Julio gave him a look and then ordered for both of them. Which would have been hot except… he just couldn’t figure out what they were doing here.

  “Baby? Taylor?”

  Taylor looked up. He hadn’t realized that he was that zoned out. It sounded like Julio had been calling him for a while. It didn’t help that he wasn’t used to responding to baby.

  “Do you want to go somewhere else?” Julio looked concerned. Worried. Worried that he’d upset him, which he kind of had, but not for the reason that Julio probably thought. “We could take everything to go if you want, or just cancel the order.”

  “No, that’s not it.” He just had to know. Even if it hurt, he needed to know. If it was a fling, he’d make peace with it. “I just… Is this something long-term? This thing with us? I’m not talking about forever, but is this like a fling or…”

  Julio stood up abruptly and Taylor trailed off. Was he leaving? No he was… he was…

  He was getting down on one knee. He was… no, that wasn’t possible.

  Julio pulled Taylor’s larger hands into his. “Baby, I am talking about forever. And I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear to you earlier. I have been waiting to make you mine since that first day on the school bus when you sat down next to me, all shy and adorable. You are my best friend and the love of my life.”

  Taylor was stunned. This just couldn’t…. He had to be dreaming.

  Julio reached one slender hand into his back pocket and came back with something shiny. “This was my grandmother’s wedding ring. My grandfather passed it on to me before he died.” That had been a few years after they met. Julio had been devastated.

  “He actually… when he gave it to me, he made sure to say that I should give it to the right person. I kind of think he already knew that I wanted to give it to you. It won’t fit you until we resize it, but I didn't want to wait. So, for tonight, I got you a chain to wear it on, if you’ll accept it.”

  “But, but… Julio, we’ve only been dating for two days. What if you change your mind?”

  “My love, we have been together for ten years. You just wouldn’t acknowledge it until two days ago.

  “We spend five evenings a week together after spending all day working together. We keep our clothes at each other’s houses, though I’m hoping to persuade you to move in with me so that we can spend all seven nights together.

  “Believe me, if I were going to change my mind, I would have done it a long time ago.”

  “I… really? You think we’ve been together all this time?”

  Julio just raised an eyebrow. Well, when he put it that way it sort of made sense. Which was just… crazy. Magically, beautifully crazy.

  Taylor’s mind reeled, trying to fly through ten years of memories and reimagine them with Julio in love with him.

  So many little things made sense now, and his chest fil
led with a bursting joy.

  Except if they’d been together all this time… “And it would just be you and me? Like, we’d be monogamous?”

  “Yes, love. There is no one I would rather be with. You are it for me.”

  Julio paused thoughtfully. “Though, if your kinks run that way, I could probably arrange some group scenes for us to participate in together…”

  Taylor felt himself blushing. He wanted to say that it was gross or weird, and definitely not what you were supposed to say in the middle of a marriage proposal. But if Julio set it up and guided him through it…

  He knew that he could say no, but he ended up giving Julio a little nod instead.

  He was such a pervert, and somehow Julio wanted him for it.

  The nod brought a smile to Julio’s lips. “Now, Taylor Christopher Evans, will you marry me?”

  There was only one possible answer.

  But he still needed to give Julio a hard time. “On one condition.”

  Julio’s eyebrows drew in and a flash of fear crossed his face. Was he really that worried?

  He didn’t hesitate in his response, though. “Anything.”

  “Don’t you even want to know what the condition is?” Taylor teased.

  Julio shook his head, looking deeply into Taylor’s eyes. He gave a little smile, but his shoulders were still tight.

  “Don’t ever use Grindr again. That was really horrible.”

  Julio threw back his head and their laughter rang out across the restaurant.

  Here for You

  Interlude

  Charlie

  Charlie finished wiping down the bar and turned to one of her favorite customers.

  “Eric, Eric, Eric. Drinking at 4PM?”

  Charlie wasn’t trying to shame him—she made her living serving alcohol after all—but she knew she could get away with gently teasing Eric and his band of friends.

  She’d worked hard to cultivate a low-key, friendly feel at Whirlwind where people could be themselves. She never wanted anyone to go through what she had—feeling isolated and unworthy with her masculine clothing, thick body, and short haircut.

  A lot had changed in the two decades that she’d owned the bar, and now her own clothing was unremarkable. More importantly, her regulars had become her family.

  Eric was the most reserved of one of her favorite groups. He liked to observe, and he thought before he spoke. While he could be stern, he was never cruel or thoughtless. She liked that about him.

  When she first met him, he’d come off as a bit uptight and standoffish, but she now knew he was sweet underneath. She’d had several people confide that those tendencies made him even more attractive as a Dom.

  So, she felt pretty comfortable teasing him about his change in schedule. His gang usually came to Whirlwind every Tuesday for trivia nights and often on weekends for dinner before they headed to the BDSM club around the corner.

  “I’ll have you know that I’m only here for your delicious food.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “Well, maybe one beer.”

  “Ah, up to a different kind of mischief tonight?” She hitched her chin in the general direction of the club. She’d learned a lot about BDSM from Eric and his friends oversharing, and she knew that they wouldn’t play while intoxicated. The rest of what they got up to over there was still mostly a mystery. Though sometimes she wondered…

  Eric smirked. “You know me well. I had an appointment nearby and I’m meeting the guys later, so this seemed to be a good place to hang out.”

  Charlie nodded. “The bar’s practically empty this time of day, so stick around and keep me company. The kitchen’s open.”

  “That’s good because I probably can’t afford to drink after Ben and Parker cleaned me out.”

  “What did they get up to this time?” Those two were the worst, always egging each other on to crazier stunts.

  “We had a bet going on Julio and Taylor getting together. I mean, everyone knew it would happen, but I bet it wouldn’t happen until after the new year. That cost me forty bucks.” He looked chagrined.

  “And then we placed another bet about when they would get engaged. I guessed three to six months.”

  Charlie nodded. “Seems reasonable.”

  “But Ben bet that it would be under a week.”

  “That also seems reasonable.” Those two had been mooning over each other for as long as she’d known them.

  “Really?” He gave her a glare.

  “How long did it take?”

  “One day. Like 24 hours.”

  Charlie let out a guffaw. That sounded just like Julio, never holding back when he went after something.

  “So now I’m down eighty bucks.”

  “Poor baby,” she told the stern, muscular man. She knew he did something with computers and was financially comfortable, so his complaints were more for effect.

  She filled a tall glass with his favorite beer and slid it over to him. “This one’s on me.”

  “You’re the best, Charlie. Maybe I’ll have to lose bets more often.”

  “Or maybe you need to have a little more faith in relationships.” Charlie didn’t expect she’d ever date again, but Julio and Taylor were clearly meant for each other.

  “I don’t know if I believe in all that. I mean, Julio and Taylor are one thing, but in general, I feel like relationships don’t work out. That’s why I don’t even try.”

  Charlie hid a smile. This was why she loved being a bartender. It was like being a therapist. Or a getting a secret window into people’s lives.

  She appreciated that the taciturn man was opening up to her, too, since they’d known each other for a long time. She nodded for him to continue.

  “I just figure, there’s never going to be just one person who’s perfect for you. Maybe you’re compatible in one way, but something else is frustrating or awkward. Hook-ups are just easier.”

  Did he sound just a little bit wistful when he said that? Charlie wasn’t sure.

  “Or maybe there’s someone perfect for you out there and it’ll take a little effort to make it work,” she suggested.

  Eric gave her a noncommittal shrug. “I’ll be honest, it’s a lot harder to date when you’re trying to match up kinks as well as regular life. Like, how do you find the guy who wants to get tied up in public on Friday night, hang out with your buddies on Saturday, and meet the parents on Sunday? Not going to happen.” He paused. “Er… sorry if that was oversharing.”

  “Have you heard Ben and Parker? There’s nothing that you can say that would surprise me.”

  It was true. She didn’t think of herself as kinky, but wouldn’t tolerate kink-shaming either. As long as everyone consented, she respected it. Though she found herself wondering more about some of it recently, especially when she thought about Carla...

  No, she needed to put those thoughts away.

  Another group came into the bar and she needed to get back to work.

  “Let me know when you’re ready to order,” she told Eric before she turned away. “And maybe just trust that there’s someone out there for you, too.”

  It wasn’t advice that she would take herself, but Eric deserved to find what he was looking for.

  Chapter 1

  Micah

  Micah fidgeted again with the leather straps across his chest. The V around his neck and the two straps that wrapped around his ribs were already as tight as he could make them, so there wasn’t much fidgeting to do.

  He stared at himself once more in the mirror. The straps easily concealed the two surgical scars that ran just below his pectoral muscles. But what they still showed, well…

  Probably no one would want to look at him anyway. His legs and belly were soft and pale, ridiculous beside his over-developed shoulder and arm muscles.

  He adjusted the packer in his black, shimmering underwear. At least that part looked pretty good, framed by his slim hips and bulging invitingly. He just dreaded the moment w
hen he had to explain that it wasn’t real.

  God, maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Maybe he should take out the packer and let everyone know up front what they were getting into. Or maybe he should just put his clothes back on and get the hell out.

  But he’d come too far to chicken out now. He’d moved to a big city after grad school in part so that he could frequent clubs like this one. It was one of the few kink clubs that had an explicit policy of accepting trans people.

  From the reviews he’d read online, it was clean, safe, and well-monitored. So far, it seemed to be living up to its reputation. If he was going to test out this kinky side of himself, this was the place to do it.

  He adjusted one of his chest straps, moving it minutely. He loved the way it felt wrapped around him. He loved even more the idea that someone might have some use for the metal rings holding the straps together.

  He just needed to focus on that. Even if he didn’t meet anyone tonight, didn’t do anything… tonight would be for him.

  He’d made a pact with himself that he’d at least sit at the bar and get a drink. It was probably the only thing he’d get tonight, but at least he’d prove to himself that he could do it.

  Micah blew out one last breath and grabbed the forearm crutch that leaned against the wall. When his body was giving him trouble, he used a wheelchair or two crutches.

  Today was a good day, though, and he could have probably walked without any assistance.

  But it was comforting to have beside him. If he got a little tipsy, or a little overwhelmed, at least he’d feel confident that he could move without risking a fall.

  It was also a useful signal sometimes, letting people know from a distance about his disability and avoiding awkward encounters when they got closer and then changed their minds. It was a crappy feeling, but better to have the signal than the disappointment.

  He smirked at the idea that the piece of metal and plastic was both a figurative and a literal crutch.

  He watched in the mirror as he took the last few steps towards the door. There was nothing that he could do to hide his uneven gait, his right knee swinging out to the side while his left leg hitched to catch up.