Wake Me When I'm Gone

by Odafe Atogun

  *

  Many weeks passed. I had grown depressed and weary. I was asleep one afternoon when a knock came on my door. It was not as loud as the royal guards would knock. I awoke at the sound and remained in bed for a few moments. The knock came again. I got up and went to see who it was.

  I froze for a moment when I opened the door. I could not believe my eyes, and I thought I must be in a dream. Standing in front of me was Kpofe, as colourfully dressed as ever. He wore a big smile, but it instantly faded when he saw my state.

  I screamed his name and flung myself into his arms, and I began to sob quietly. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ I kept saying over and over.

  ‘What happened to you?’ He sounded bewildered.

  I continued to sob on his shoulder, unable to say a word.

  ‘Where is Tanto?’ he asked.

  I was sobbing loudly now.

  He steered me gently into the living room and sat me down. ‘What’s the matter? Where is Tanto? Where is Noah? What are the guards doing outside?’

  He stood there in front of me, a look of confusion on his face. Getting no answer from me, he went outside to collect his bags. He dumped them in a corner of the living room and took a seat opposite me. For a moment, he just sat there. Then he arose and went from room to room, obviously searching for Tanto and Noah. He went out to the backyard, and when he came back, he spoke to me firmly but gently. ‘Ese, please talk to me, where is Tanto? And where is Noah?’

  I stared dumbly at him.

  ‘Look, I have just arrived from the city and I came straight here. I haven’t even been to my parents’ house nor had the chance to catch up with anyone. Talk to me, please.’

  I realised that Kpofe couldn’t have known that his best friend was dead, for we had no means of sending a message to the city. Slowly, I shook my head. I knew no better way to break the news to him. ‘Tanto is dead and Noah has been taken into his uncle Jaja’s custody,’ I blurted.

  For a while he just stared at me. And then for a very long time we both sat there, sobbing like children.

  *

  It took Kpofe several days to accept that his friend was really gone. He came to visit me every morning and he would not go back to his parents’ house until evening. I told him how Tanto had died on his farm. He wept bitterly that he was not there to save his dear friend. He felt very angry that Noah had been taken away from me. He had gone to pay Noah a visit, but Jaja would not let him see the boy. For days, we tried to figure out what to do. And then an idea finally occurred to him.

  ‘I’ll pay the Chief a visit today,’ he said. ‘I brought some bottles of imported whisky from the city. I know he loves whisky. I’ll present him with two and promise him more on my next visit. Then I’ll beg him to reinstate your custodial rights.’

  ‘You think it will work?’ I asked, breathing unevenly.

  ‘I hope so. Somehow, we have to get Noah back.’

  So, he went to see the Chief. When he returned, he gave me a smile, but I could tell that he was not satisfied with the outcome of the visit.

  ‘How did it go?’ I asked anxiously.

  ‘Take a seat,’ he said, pointing to a chair.

  He sat opposite me, then he took a deep breath.

  ‘The visit was favourable,’ he said, ‘but not entirely.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I was eager.

  ‘The Chief promised to give my request some thought. He asked me to come back tomorrow, but I sense that he is determined to marry you.’ Kpofe sighed.

  ‘But I will not marry him!’ I snapped.

  ‘No, you will not. If he remains unyielding when I go back, I’ll think of what else to do. For now, let us remain positive. And let us be prayerful too. I have started attending church in the city, and I have come to know that there truly is a greater god in heaven. He answers prayers.’

  ‘So the missionary was right?’

  ‘Yes, he was.’

  ‘But why has this god not answered my prayers? I have prayed to him so many times, and not once has he answered.’ There was bitterness in my voice.

  ‘Because he is a long-suffering god.’

  ‘But I’m the one suffering, not him! If he is a good god, he should not watch Noah and I suffer so much. He should not watch them take my son from me.’

  Kpofe was silent for a moment. He nodded. ‘I agree with you, and I think that way too sometimes, in the face of adversity, but we just have to keep praying and hoping for the best.’ His voice was resigned.

  A lengthy silence followed. I got up and touched his shoulder.

  ‘And . . .’ His eyes were fixed on the floor.

  ‘What?’ I asked gently, looking down at him.

  He looked up. ‘When you pray to God, you must have faith that you will receive an answer.’

  ‘What if you have faith and you get no answer?’

  ‘Then it means it is not God’s will for you. His will always comes to pass. Whatever happens to us is his will and we must learn to accept it.’

  ‘So, indeed, all we can do is keep praying and hoping,’ I said quietly.

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded.

  A deep sigh escaped me.

  *

  When Kpofe returned from the palace the following day, he did not come with the news we were hoping for, but he had delightful news all the same. He wore a happy smile that lifted my spirit.

  ‘You’re no longer under house arrest, and you’re now free to visit Noah!’ he announced happily.

  I digested Kpofe’s words for a moment. And then, realising the truth of them, I fell upon his shoulder and wept with joy. ‘I don’t know how to thank you,’ I said to him.

  ‘You don’t have to. Let’s go and see Noah,’ he said with urgency.

  We hurried out of the house. To my surprise, I discovered that the guards were gone. And I realised that I really was free at last! It was as if I had woken from a nightmare.

  I took a deep breath of freedom. I was a step closer to regaining custody of my son. All thanks to Kpofe, and to the god who dwelled in heaven, for it was him who brought Kpofe back from the city.

  To our alarm, we were told that Noah was not home when we got to Jaja’s house. ‘Where has he gone? Can we wait for him?’ I asked, overcome with raw anxiety.

  ‘You cannot wait for him. He has gone to a distant farm with his uncle. Go and come back,’ the eldest of Jaja’s wives said.

  ‘Gone to a distant farm?’ I screamed. ‘But he’s not well. How can he go to a distant farm, a sick child who is not yet eight years old?’

  ‘Look, don’t come here and shout! Go back to your house!’ the woman retorted. ‘Do you expect the boy to be lying around the house doing nothing?’

  ‘You look! If anything happens to my son, I will hold all of you and everyone in this house responsible,’ I screamed.

  Kpofe touched my arm. ‘Let me handle this,’ he said.

  The other wives had gathered by now.

  ‘We’re going to wait for the boy,’ said Kpofe in a measured voice.

  ‘Ese has the Chief’s permission to visit her son. If you try to prevent us from waiting, I’ll take a complaint to the Chief. And I’ll make sure that all of you are punished.’

  The women exchanged fearful looks. The news had obviously got round that Kpofe had presented the Chief with two very expensive bottles of imported whisky, and that by this gesture he had become a man of influence at the palace. One by one, the women vacated the room, leaving only the eldest wife, who stayed back in a moment of defiance. And then she too slipped out of the room.

  *

  We sat down to wait in the living room.

  Hours later, they returned from the farm. They came into the compound through a back entrance – Noah, Jaja, and four older boys. Noah was carrying a heavy bundle of firewood. I was shocked to see such weight on my son’s head. I jumped up and rushed out into the compound. ‘Noah!’ I screamed.

  He flung the bundle of firewood away when he saw me, and a smile of joy lit up h
is face. ‘Mother!’ he cried and ran into my arms. ‘Have you come to take me home?’

  I knelt before him, holding his face in my hands. I noticed that he looked thin and tired. I showered him with loving kisses. ‘My son!’ I cried. ‘Oh, my son!’

  ‘Mother,’ he said.

  ‘How is your fever? Are you well now?’ I asked, studying his face.

  ‘Yes, I’m well now. My fever is gone.’

  Meanwhile, Jaja had turned on his wives, demanding to know what I was doing in his house. The women argued amongst themselves, each blaming the other for my presence.

  Noah and I just clung to each other in a tight embrace.

  ‘The Chief has granted Ese permission to visit her son. And that’s why we are here,’ Kpofe said to Jaja.

  ‘You can’t come to my house without my permission!’ Jaja fumed.

  ‘We do not need your permission to visit the boy,’ Kpofe said. ‘And if you insist on making life difficult for us, I’ll lodge a complaint against you before the Chief.’

  Obviously, Jaja also knew that Kpofe had become a man of influence at the palace. ‘Okay, you have seen the boy. Now you may leave,’ he grumbled.

  ‘We shall leave only after we have spent time with the boy,’ Kpofe said to him. ‘There’s no restriction as to how long we can stay. And I suggest that you stop taking the boy to the farm. He’s too young for that. I’m not against your engaging him in little chores around the house, but taking him to a distant farm is not acceptable.’

  ‘Who are you to give me orders in my own house?’

  ‘We shall see about that when we get to the palace,’ Kpofe responded.

  Jaja stormed off, kicking the dust and everything in his way. His wives and children stayed clear as he foamed at the mouth. Feeling powerless, he went into the living room, his voice reverberating through the compound as he raged to himself.

  *

  Noah sat between Kpofe and me on a bench in a corner of the compound, while Jaja and his wives and children held a noisy meeting in the living room. I held Noah’s hand and simply stared into his face. I could not believe that we were together again.

  ‘How are you, Noah?’ Kpofe said, smiling at him. ‘You won’t know me.’

  Noah studied his face and frowned. ‘No, I have never seen you before.’

  ‘This is Uncle Kpofe,’ I said. ‘I have told you about him before. He and your father were best friends. He left for the city shortly after you were born. He lives in the city now and has only come on a visit to the village.’

  ‘Can we go with Uncle Kpofe to the city? I don’t like living here.’ There was sadness in Noah’s voice.

  ‘I’ll come and take you to the city one day,’ Kpofe said, his voice sad too.

  ‘Don’t worry, my son,’ I said, sitting up and stroking his hair. ‘Everything will be all right very soon. Do they feed you well here? What have you eaten today?’

  ‘All I have had is pap. On the farm, we roasted yam, but Uncle Jaja ate it all and didn’t give any to us. He does that all the time.’

  What a wicked and greedy man, I thought, fuming with silent anger. ‘Okay, I’ll go back to our house now and prepare you something to eat, and I’ll be back shortly,’ I said to Noah. ‘Uncle Kpofe will keep you company while I’m away and you two can catch up. What do you think?’ I asked, turning to Kpofe.

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ Kpofe said.

  I asked Noah what he wanted to eat, and I dashed off to prepare it.

  *

  Kpofe used his influence at the palace to make sure that Jaja no longer took Noah to the farm. And he warned that if Noah was ever mistreated again he would make a lengthy complaint to the Chief.

  To consolidate his position at the palace, Kpofe gave the Chief one more bottle of whisky, promising to bring more from the city soon. As the news spread round the village, Kpofe grew in stature. But he could not exert his influence on the priests, who were dour and unapproachable. Unable to access the priests, he focused on building a close relationship with the Chief.

  Every day I awoke before dawn, prepared breakfast, and went to visit Noah at the first light of day. We ate together and then I went home to prepare lunch and then dinner. Later, I stayed with him until he went to bed. Kpofe often joined us with cheering news – the friendship between him and the Chief was getting stronger, and he reassured me that, very soon, the Chief would instruct the priests to restore my custodial rights. I could not wait for that to happen. In the meantime, I felt very grateful that I could see my son again.

  As the days passed, my daily visits unsettled Jaja’s home, and he begged the Chief to let me take my son back. But the Chief refused, saying that the law must be followed to the letter.

  In spite of the Chief’s position, Kpofe continued to give me hope. ‘It’s only a matter of time,’ he would say with an encouraging smile.

  SIX

  Kpofe said he had found love in the city. He told me about his girlfriend Eliza, who worked in a garment factory. He had brought some of the clothes they made as gifts for Tanto, Noah and me. He gave Tanto’s to a cousin of his who had always dreamed of going to the city but never made it.

  Noah loved his colourful new shirt. I had taken it to him in Jaja’s house, and he tried it on eagerly. It was the perfect size, and he thought it made him look like a city boy. ‘Thank you, Uncle Kpofe,’ he said. ‘I will wear it when I’m going to the city.’

  ‘When you come to the city, I will get you more beautiful clothes,’ Kpofe said, smiling.

  Noah had given me his shirt for safekeeping. ‘Make sure it is very safe, Mother,’ he said to me. So I kept it in the same box that I kept mine. The dress Kpofe gave me was beautiful, a yellow flower-patterned dress that reached my knees. The first time I wore it, Jaja’s wives gathered to admire it enviously from afar. They knew that Kpofe had bought it for me, for such a dress was not found in our market. They whispered amongst themselves, they moved closer to inspect the dress. First, they tried to befriend me, and then they tried to befriend Kpofe, hoping to get gifts from him. We smiled easily at them.

  ‘I have never seen such a beautiful dress,’ one of them said.

  ‘Yes, it is really beautiful,’ I replied. ‘Kpofe brought it from the city for me.’ I added, ‘He got a beautiful shirt for Noah too.’

  ‘Ah, he is such a generous man,’ she said, shaking her head and smiling sweetly at Kpofe. ‘Ah, such people are very hard to come by in our village.’

  ‘Omame!’ the eldest wife called out loudly to her, not comfortable with her attempt to befriend us. ‘Come here!’

  Knowing that they could get into trouble, the younger women dispersed in different directions, and the eldest wife could be heard berating them. ‘Wait till our husband gets back, just wait,’ she grumbled. ‘Outsiders have come to take over our house and you are trying to befriend them, traitors that you are!’

  Kpofe and I exchanged amused looks.

  *

  Noah was washing in the bathroom that morning, and Jaja had gone to the farm with some of his children. The wives went about their chores, while Kpofe and I sat on a bench in the compound, out of their hearing, talking in low voices.

  ‘Tell me about the city,’ I said to Kpofe. Even though he had already told me so much, I was eager to hear more.

  He smiled. ‘The city is a difficult place,’ he said quietly.

  I was taken aback. ‘But you told me it is a beautiful place.’

  ‘Yes, it is a beautiful place, but also a difficult place. If I were to tell you about the difficult part you may no longer see it as such a beautiful place.’ He wore a serious expression on his face and he gave a deep sigh. Then he turned to me and smiled.

  ‘I’m surprised,’ I said, frowning.

  ‘Don’t be,’ he said, laughing. ‘I will not tell you about the difficult part so that you will not change your mind about the city.’

  ‘Maybe you should tell me . . .’ I said thoughtfully. ‘Yes, tell me about it.’

 
; He shrugged. ‘One day, I had gone to look for a job in a big factory, but the guards on duty told me to go away. I told them that I needed a job to survive in the city; they told me to go back to my village, that the city was teeming with jobless people like me, who made life difficult for everybody. I felt insulted, and I spoke angrily to the guards. Two of them came towards me and threatened to beat me if I did not leave. I left and wandered the city for several hours looking for a job. It took many months before I finally got one. The city is a difficult place when you have no job.’

  I shook my head out of pity for him.

  ‘But it was in the city that I found love,’ he said, to brighten the mood. ‘One day, Eliza and I will get married.’

  ‘It is a beautiful thing to fall in love,’ I said, after a brief silence.

  ‘Yes, it is,’ he said with a sad smile. ‘I hope you find it again.’

  ‘I hope so too,’ I said. I wished I could turn back the hands of time.

  Noah came to join us. He had finished taking his bath and had rubbed so much Vaseline on his face I could not help laughing. ‘Come,’ I said, pulling him to me. And I wiped the excess ointment off his face with my palms.

  *

  Noah told us about life in Jaja’s house.

  It had been a very difficult experience for him. They woke him up before daylight, every day, and his first duty was to sweep the compound and the front of the house. Then he had to fill three mighty clay pots with water drawn from the well in the centre of the compound. He and the other children had a quick breakfast of pap, sometimes with bean cake if they were lucky. After that, he and the oldest male children, who were between the ages of eight and twelve, followed Jaja to the farm, where they worked until late afternoon, or early evening at times.

  There was no such thing as lunch for the boys at the farm, although Jaja stuffed himself with roasted yam. Fortunately, they had water to drink from the streams, and Jaja allowed them to pluck mango and guava, which he shared with them. While the boys worked, he sat under a tree picking his teeth after he had eaten.