I go to hip hop classes every Saturday morning and our dance troupe is now practicing for a major competition that’s coming up. If we make the top 3, we may be given the chance to compete at nationals, which will be amazing!
After working through some new moves with us, our dance teacher, Miss Brown chose me to go onto the stage and demonstrate some moves of my own to the other kids so that we could add these to the routine we were practicing. I was more than happy to do this as I’m quite confident with choreography and love being creative with new dance moves. But to my horror, she also chose Sara to go up onto the stage as well.
I knew that Sara was also a very good dancer. After the musical, everyone had nominated her as the best dancer in the school, so I really wasn’t surprised that she had been chosen. The chances of us being up there together though were beyond belief. Especially as I had vowed that I would never dance with her again!
The whole of the seventh grade is involved in these classes each Friday afternoon and every pair of eyes was on Sara and I. One at a time, we were asked to demonstrate something that could possibly be added to the routine we were putting together while the rest of the grade looked on. I actually thought that finally I had a chance to outshine Sara and perform better than her. I was desperately hoping that Miss Brown would choose my moves as being the best.
Then, just as I took some lunging steps forward, I felt myself go flying through the air. It seemed as though everything was in slow motion and I was gliding through space. I could not work out what was happening until I abruptly and noisily face planted onto the stage floor, sliding to a stop right at Miss Brown’s feet.
The hysterical laughter coming from probably every single grade 7 kid who was there that day just added to my humiliation and as I quickly stood up, the look of triumph in Sara’s eyes was something I will never forget. Once again, I knew that she was at fault and had taken the perfect opportunity to totally embarrass me in front of not only my own class but the entire grade.
Later on, Millie, the one and only true friend that I had left, confirmed my suspicions. “Sara stuck her foot out and tripped you, Julia! I was sitting right in front of her and saw it. I can’t believe she did that!” I looked at Millie in dismay and then burst into tears.
“You have to tell Mrs. Jackson, Julia. You just have to!” We’d had this conversation numerous times before. But the truth of the matter was that I felt scared to tell a teacher for fear of what Sara would do if she found out. Plus, I didn’t think it would solve the problem anyway.
There was a boy in our class last year named Billy, who was badly bullied and it got so intense that he ended up leaving our school. When the teacher had tried to intervene and help solve the problem, the bullying kept happening regardless. And one afternoon, Billy was even bashed up on his way home from school.
“That’s your punishment for dobbing on us,” is apparently what he was told by the group of boys who had ganged up on him. “Do it again and you’ll get much worse next time. You’ll see!”
Billy never came back to school after that and we heard that he now goes to another school. I just hope that it’s worked out for him and that he has some nice kids in his class. He certainly didn’t deserve to be bullied the way he was.
I’ve thought about telling my mom about the dramas with Sara but when I’ve told her about friendship problems that have happened before, she simply told me to find someone nicer to spend my time with. She just doesn’t understand, so I’d rather keep it to myself.
I haven’t even told Millie how bad it has become. In my head though, it’s all I can think about and rather than focusing on homework these days, I’ve been trying to come up with ways to get Sara back. She is constantly in my thoughts and I think of very little else.
Yesterday, I started crying for no reason whatsoever. Mom was in the middle of talking to me and I burst into tears. “What’s wrong with you, Julia?” was all she could say. “For goodness sake, why are you so emotional at the moment?”
But I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I just turned my back, ran upstairs to my room and threw myself onto my bed. I had no one to talk to who would understand or who could help me. I had absolutely no one to turn to. I didn’t know what to do!
Desperate…
At school the next week, Sara was bragging about these new high heel shoes that her mom had bought for her and she even brought them to school one day so she could show them off to everyone. They were really cool beige platforms with big silver buckles around the ankles.
There was no way my mom would ever let me wear anything like that. “You’ve got plenty of time for grown up clothes,” is what she said to me when I’d asked for a pair of high heels myself. “They will make you look so much older and you’re only twelve. That’s way too young!” And that was the end of that. I’d only just convinced her to let me have a pair of skinny jeans. She didn’t even want me wearing them as she thought they weren’t appropriate for young girls. Did she expect me to look like a little girl my entire life?
It was hard to comprehend that she really was young herself once. I wished I had a fashionable mom who let me wear cool clothes and jewelry. Sara was always in the latest gear. She had so many cool clothes, it made me sick! And endless pairs of really nice shoes as well.
One night that week I dreamed that we were at the school fair. Sara had been chosen to represent the eleven to twelve year old age group in a fashion show. She had to walk along a cat walk modeling some new cool designs for tweens and all the girls at school were so envious.
She wore her beige platforms with the silver buckles and I was secretly hoping that she’d trip and make a fool of herself. But instead, something even better happened. When she put on the clothes that she’d been given to wear in the show, for some reason they were extremely tight on her and as she walked to the front of the cat walk stage, the zip burst entirely open and buttons started popping off into the audience.
All she could do was try to hold the outfit together by pulling it across her body and run off the stage as quickly as possible. Everyone in the audience gasped with horror at the sight of a young girl racing in embarrassment off the catwalk while her clothes seemed to fall apart right there in front of them.
It was the best dream I’ve ever had! If only it could come true!
But unfortunately, I really couldn’t see that happening. Knowing my luck, in real life Sara would blitz the show and become even more popular.
As I sat there recalling my dream, my mother’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Julia, hurry up and eat your breakfast. You’re going to be late for school!”
“Leave me alone! “ I yelled, and raced out the front door slamming it shut. I threw my school bag angrily over my shoulder and raced down the street.
Going to school that day was the furthest thing from my mind and before I knew it, I had walked past the bus stop and was headed into town. Skipping school was something I had never done before, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I wanted to be as far away from school and Sara as possible.
I started wondering what I was going to do all day. I couldn’t go home because Mom wouldn’t have left for work yet, so I had to kill time somehow. Then the downtown shopping mall appeared ahead and I figured, why not? Browsing around the shops was as good a choice as any. Even though I was in my school uniform, I really didn’t care! Things couldn’t get any worse than they already were and I needed something to cheer me up.
My favorite clothes shop was the perfect place to start and within seconds, a pretty blue skirt caught my eye. It was in the latest style and I knew that it would be perfect to wear to the school disco on Friday night. I quickly flicked through the rack and found my size, thinking that I might ask to try it on.
As I glanced around looking for a sales assistant and realized that no one was in sight, a spontaneous and unexpected thought entered my mind. Without hesitation, I grabbed the skirt, shoved it into my school bag and raced out the door. The thudding of
my heart sounded deafening in my ears and I felt certain that others must hear it as well and I would surely be caught.
“Hey you!” the gruff male voice nearby sent shivers of fear down my spine and I waited for the sound of heavy footsteps in hot pursuit behind me.
Seconds later, I found myself on the street and sprinting through the nearby park where the thick clump of pine trees offered a place to hide. I dared to stop and briefly glance back only to see a man standing on the street in deep discussion with a local policeman and pointing in my direction.
“This can’t be happening!” I thought. “What have I done?” And a vision of my parents stricken with disappointment as they were confronted with a policeman on our front doorstep flashed through my mind.
The burst of adrenalin that overtook me in that moment was like nothing I’d ever felt before and I soon found myself breathless at the corner of my street, my house and safety only a few minutes away.
As I raced through the front door and bolted it locked, I prayed that I was fast enough to have escaped and promised myself never to try anything as stupid ever again.
“What are you doing home, Julia?” my mother’s voice called from the hallway. The bolt of shock at the sound of her voice made my knees buckle and I almost collapsed on the spot. “Are you alright? You don’t look well!”
As I leaned against the wall shivering with guilt, convinced that I’d been found out, she abruptly ushered me upstairs and into my room. “You need to get to bed. Thank goodness you’ve come home, Julia. You’re obviously not well enough for school today.”
The relief I felt right then, as I climbed into bed was so intense, that I soon drifted off into a restless sleep but not before a vision of Sara’s mocking eyes and a deep premonition of evil passed through me.
Blake…
Facing school the following day was more difficult than I could ever have imagined but to my utter amazement, the morning passed by without incident. Sara seemed completely absorbed in organizing details for the school disco that had been arranged for Friday night. Every time I dared to steal a glance in her direction, she and the other girls appeared to be engrossed in excited conversation and for the moment, I was apparently the furthest thing from Sara’s mind.
I took advantage of the respite and even managed to relax a little. Then, just as I was about to enter the classroom after lunch, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.
“Hi Julia, I was just wondering if you’re going to the disco on Friday night?” “Aah, aah, I’m not sure,” I stammered. The sight of Blake Jansen, his dreamy brown eyes looking down into mine as he waited for my reply, caught me by total surprise and I could feel my face turning bright red. This was something that I could not avoid and I was often teased by my friends about how obvious it was when I was embarrassed. I was unable to stop the red glow and I stood there desperately hoping that the burning sensation I could feel would go unnoticed.
Without hesitation, he continued rather shyly, “It’s just that I’m planning on going and I thought it might be fun if we could hang out there together.” He must have misread the look of shock on my face as his expression quickly turned to apprehension, “Oh, only if you want to. But if you don’t, then that’s ok.”
Just as he was about to turn and walk away, I forced myself to speak up. “Oh, that would be fun Blake. I’d love to hang out with you there.”
“Awesome!” was his reply and the glowing smile that quickly appeared made my heart melt.
I could not believe it! Blake Jansen wanted to hang out with me at the disco! Was this a date? Was he actually asking me on a date? Did this mean that we were going out?
“Don’t get carried away, Julia Jones!” I said to myself. “He just wants to hang out with you, that’s all. He’s just being nice.”
But I could not wipe the grin from my face and as I sat down next to Millie, she asked. “What are you so happy about, all of a sudden?” “Oh, nothing,” was my reply. And we settled down for the afternoon lesson.
Not that I was able to concentrate after that. All I could think about was what I would wear on Friday night and how much fun it was going to be, especially being Blake Jansen’s date! ‘Perhaps I’ll wear my new blue skirt after all,’ I thought. ‘I may as well not let it go to waste!’ And as I sat on the bus heading home that afternoon, picturing in my mind Blake and I together at the disco, for the first time in weeks I did not give Sara even a single fleeting thought.
The Disco…
Finally Friday night arrived. The disco was all anyone at school could talk about and I started to think that Sara had finally forgotten about me. She had much more interesting things to focus on now and I began to believe that my luck was beginning to change, definitely for the better.
As I peered at the reflection staring back at me from my bedroom mirror, I was suddenly overcome with guilt. “Should I wear this blue skirt, or not?” The same thought kept going around and around in my head. I had never stolen anything before and deep down I knew that it was wrong. Acting on impulse the way I had was so unlike me and the feelings of remorse that I was now experiencing were totally overwhelming. I quickly pulled the skirt off, glad that it still had the tags attached and rummaged through my cupboard looking for something else to wear. A purple and green dress that Millie had given me just the week before, grabbed my attention and I gratefully put it on.
“I have to take that blue skirt back,” I thought adamantly. “I’m going to go back to the shop next week and own up to what I did.” I felt sick with anxiety at the thought of facing the shop assistant with my story, but I knew that it had to be done.
Hearing the honk of a car horn outside, I pushed all thoughts of the stolen skirt from my mind and raced down the stairs. Where did you get that dress from, Julia?” Mom asked as I headed out the front door. “I’ve never seen you wear that before and isn’t it a little short?”
A confrontation with Mom was the last thing I wanted, so I quickly replied, “Millie gave it to me because it doesn’t fit her properly. Anyway, I’ve gotta go. I think her dad has just pulled up in our driveway. I don’t want to keep them waiting. Bye!” And with that, I was gone.
I felt a pang of guilt thinking once more of the stolen skirt hidden in the back of my cupboard. Mom would be so disappointed if she knew I had actually stolen something. Taking a deep breath, I promised myself that I would definitely return it the following week.
Once inside the disco, I became dizzy with excitement and when I spotted Blake across the dance floor, the butterflies in my stomach went absolutely crazy.
“This is so cool!” Millie exclaimed. “Who would ever think that our school hall could look so amazing?”
The hall had been decorated with flashing lights and there was a mirror ball hanging right in the center. The effect of the little white lights spinning across the walls and floor really was cool and it was hard to believe that it actually was our school hall.
I waved to Blake and he began to head across the floor in my direction. The music was really loud and already kids were dancing. “Come on! Let’s dance!” yelled Millie, grabbing my arm and dragging me onto the dance floor.
Even some of the teachers were dancing, or should I say, trying to.
I looked back towards Blake but he had disappeared amongst the crowd that had gathered at the sound of one of the latest hit songs being played.
Everyone was singing the words and the noise was deafening. I could actually feel vibrations through the floor. Millie and I had to yell to each other to be heard. “This is so much fun!” she screamed. “Let’s keep dancing!”
I reluctantly stayed for another song, all the while, scanning the hall for Blake, but couldn’t see him anywhere.
Then, without warning, I was roughly shoved in the back and went flying forwards falling onto a girl who was dancing with a group of friends beside me. “Sorry!” I mouthed helplessly, trying to be heard over the raging drum beat.
As I turned to see what had caused
me to overbalance, my face fell. “Oops! I’m SO sorry Julia!” Sara’s blazing eyes, stared vindictively into mine as she pushed past me pulling on Blake’s hand and dragging him into the center of the dance floor.
I looked on in total dismay as she turned back with a smirk then disappeared with Blake amongst the crowd of kids dancing to the loud music.
“I don’t feel well,” I shouted into Millie’s ear and then quickly darted off to the bathroom.
I hadn’t told her about Blake and how I felt about him. I just wanted to keep it to myself and at that point I was glad that I had. Once again I felt humiliated and stupid. How could I think that he would really be interested in a girl like me? The cutest boy in our grade and I honestly believed that he might like me. “How dumb am I!” was all I could think to myself. Sara probably set the whole thing up and once again she succeeded in making me look like a fool.
Millie had come after me, to check that I was ok. I felt bad as I didn’t want to spoil her fun. We’d both been so looking forward to the disco and it wasn’t fair of me to ruin it for her. “I’m ok. You go and enjoy yourself. I’ll come out and join you soon.”
I managed to convince her that I wouldn’t be long and eventually she agreed. But all the while, I just wanted to go home. I craved the sanctuary of my bedroom where I could just hide away and not see anybody. I was so grateful that I didn’t have to go to school the following day. That would have been unbearable.
Finally it was time to leave and Millie’s dad arrived to take us home. I pretended I was busy over the weekend when Millie asked what I had planned. I just didn’t feel like seeing or talking to anybody.
When Mom asked if I’d had a good time, I quickly replied, “Yes, it was great but I’m really tired. I’m going to bed.”
Julia Jones' Diary - Boxed Set - Books 2 to 6 Page 2
