My heart sank as I realized that I had no idea how to do it. I decided to call Millie to see if she could help, but to my disappointment, she wasn’t at home. Then, just as I was about to give up, my brother walked into my room.
“What are you up to, sis?” His friendly approach could only mean one thing. He wanted something! I swear that it’s the only time he’s nice to me!
I could see that he was freshly showered, his hair was all gelled and he reeked of Dad’s after-shave. I have no idea why my brother wears that stuff. He doesn’t even have to shave yet!
He sat down on my bed and pretended that he was interested in what I was doing. All of sudden an idea occurred to me. “Hey, Matt!” I said to him, “Do you think you could help me out with this one Math question? I’m really stuck and I have no idea how to do it!”
“Oh Julia, I have to meet the guys in half an hour!” he groaned. “Why don’t you ask Mom or Dad to help you?”
“They’re out for the afternoon,” I replied. “And I promised Mom that I’d have this finished by the time she gets home. Otherwise, I’m not allowed to go to Millie’s for a sleep over tonight.”
“Well,” he said, “I’ll make a deal. I’ll help you with this only if you lend me your iPod docking station. It’s Karl’s birthday party this afternoon and his isn’t working. He’s freaking out because he won’t be able to play any music.”
Mom and Dad had bought the docking station for my birthday and ever since, Matt was always asking if he could borrow it. It was probably the only time he was ever nice to me! But this time, I decided to use it to my advantage. Whenever I asked him for help with homework in the past, it was always a flat out, “No! I’m too busy!” But I was counting on this time being different.
I must admit that I never like him borrowing my stuff. Mainly because I’m worried that he won’t look after it. But this was the answer to my problem, so I reluctantly agreed.
Then before long, he had helped me to figure out the last tricky question and my assignment was done. I felt overjoyed and once more, pictured that beautiful, big, red A in my head.
Just as Matt was about to leave, my docking station tucked carefully under his arm, I couldn’t help but ask, “So, is Lily going to the party this afternoon?”
He immediately turned bright red, which was a complete give away. “Aaah, I’m not sure,” he stammered. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, or I’ll be late. See ya!” And with that he was gone.
I knew that he was going out with Lily. His friend, Karl had let it slip when he was hanging out at our house one afternoon. But Matt didn’t know that I knew. Ever since he started grade 8, he’s been acting really weird. He never used to care what he looked like but now he always takes forever in the bathroom and goes through bucket loads of hair gel.
Mom said it’s probably his hormones taking over. Well, I know what it really is. It’s Lily Thompson, that’s what!
Mom would probably freak out if she knew he had a girlfriend. Our mom is so old-fashioned. So many kids our age have girlfriends and boyfriends but Mom says we have to wait until we’re older. In the meantime, schoolwork is all that matters.
Dad’s a bit more lenient, but he doesn’t get much of a say. Usually whatever Mom says, everyone has to do, including Dad.
I decided to put all those thoughts from my mind and concentrated on getting my things together to go to Millie’s. We’d been planning this sleep over all week and I couldn’t wait to have another turn on her guitar. I’d even found some simple guitar lessons on YouTube and was hoping to try them out at her place if she lets me. It was going to be heaps of fun and I couldn’t wait to get there.
Left out…
I arrived at Millie’s house at 5pm, which was what we had arranged at school the day before. However, when her mom opened the door, she looked surprised to see me.
“Julia, how are you?” she asked in her usual friendly manner. “Millie isn’t home yet. I thought you weren’t arriving until later.”
She must have seen the confused look on my face because she quickly added, “Oh, I’m sure she’ll be home soon. She’s just at the mall looking for a present for her dad’s birthday. You can go on up to her room and wait for her there. You’re bound to find plenty to do.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Spencer,” I replied. “Do you think Millie would mind if I played her guitar? I’ll be really careful with it,” I reassured her.
“Oh, that’s absolutely fine. I’m sure Millie won’t mind,” she answered. “To be honest with you, she’s hardly touched it. I was hoping that her enthusiasm would last longer than a week, at least. It’ll be good to see it being used.”
Eagerly, I raced up to Millie’s room and carefully removed her guitar from its case. The shiny, blue lacquer glimmered once more and the feel of it in my hands gave me an instant thrill. I strummed a few chords, trying to remember the lessons I had viewed on YouTube. Then I spotted Millie’s open laptop on her desk.
She was logged onto Facebook and just as I was about to get up a new tab so I could look for the guitar lessons that I’d found at home earlier, something caught my eye.
It appeared that Millie had lots of Facebook friends and a couple of names instantly jumped out at me. I stared open-mouthed in shock as I read the recent posts on display…
“Who wants to hang out at the mall this afternoon?” was the first comment, followed by Millie’s eager reply.
What shocked me the most were the names that were staring out from her computer screen.
Millie was in a conversation with Harry Robinson, Sara Hamilton and several other kids from their group. And they had all been planning to go to the mall together that afternoon. Then I saw a picture that made my jaw drop. Millie was tagged in it and the photo had the caption, “Besties!”
I felt my stomach churn as I quickly exited the page and moved away from the computer, Millie’s guitar lying forgotten on her bed. I knew that I had done the wrong thing. Looking at Millie’s Facebook was completely wrong and I was riddled with guilt for invading her privacy. But what bothered me the most was that Millie was hanging out with that group behind my back. I thought of the occasions recently when Millie had told me she was busy doing family things. I wondered if this were really true or had she been hanging out with them secretly, without telling me?
I wasn’t allowed to have a Facebook account so I had no idea who Millie’s Facebook friends were and I’d never really thought about it before. But now that I knew, it explained her strange behavior over the last couple of weeks.
What hurt the most was that she hadn’t told me. Of course Millie had the right to hang out with whomever she wanted. But I thought that we were best friends and surely, she’d be happy to include me.
And how could she want to be friends with Sara Hamilton anyway? How could she even consider her as a friend? That girl is an evil bully and Millie knows it!
“What’s wrong, Julia? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Millie’s words caught me completely unaware and I looked up to see her standing in the doorway. “Are you sick?” she asked with concern. “What’s the matter?”
Millie appeared to be so genuine, that I quickly convinced myself I had made a mistake and that there was a perfectly good explanation. Still feeling guilty about invading her privacy, I haltingly replied, “Oh, I’m okay. How are you?”
Then I saw her gaze drop to her bed where her guitar lay haphazardly on top of her quilt. So I quickly added, “Your mom said I could play your guitar while I was waiting. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Oh that’s fine,” said Millie. “You can use it anytime. And sorry I’m late by the way. I got held up at the mall trying to find a present for my dad’s birthday. It’s so hard buying presents for someone who has everything!” she exclaimed.
I looked at her expectantly, waiting for the words that would explain the mystery. But instead she abruptly continued, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Let’s go and see if Mom has dinner ready!”
&nbs
p; I followed her in silence down the stairs and picked at my meal. I had no appetite and all I really wanted to do was go home. Thankfully, Millie was feeling tired and after watching a movie on TV, we decided to have an early night and go to bed.
It was several hours later before I finally drifted off to sleep. Tossing and turning, I could not remove the vision from my mind of Millie and her new friends. I wondered what would happen at school on Monday and if our friendship would ever be the same again.
She’s my friend…
Millie was waiting for me at the bus stop on Monday morning as usual. It was as if nothing had happened. Maybe I was wrong, I thought to myself. Maybe Millie did just go shopping for her dad’s present. I could be blowing the whole thing out of proportion and making a problem when there really wasn’t one.
I didn’t know what I should do. I wanted to confront Millie and ask her about what I had seen on her Facebook page but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I had looked without her permission. I still felt so guilty over that and was at a loss as to what I should do.
Feeling too upset to stay, I had left Millie’s early the day before, using the excuse that I wasn’t feeling that great and still had homework to finish. But now I was convinced that I had it all wrong.
We headed up to class to find Mrs. Jackson collecting our homework assignments. Some people still hadn’t completed theirs and others were complaining about how difficult it had been. Feeling confident, I handed mine to her and smiled, the vision of that A flashing through my mind.
Just then, I heard someone call out from the back of the room. “Hey Millie, do you want to hang out with us during lunch break today?”
Millie and I both turned around to find out who the question had come from. With total dismay, I could see Sara Hamilton, smiling broadly in our direction. Glancing briefly at Millie, who suddenly seemed very flustered, I opened my desk and pulled out my Math book, pretending that I wanted to start work.
My mind was spinning. “What’s going on? Has Millie really become friends with Sara? This can’t be happening!” a frightened voice inside my head screamed.
When the lunch bell finally rang, everyone raced out the door, keen to get to their favorite spots. Millie and I sat down in our usual place and began eating. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Millie stood and said, “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I sat there alone, waiting for her to return. After a while, I gave up and headed for the library with some other friends who had been sitting nearby. It’s better than sitting on my own, I thought to myself, wondering where Millie had got to. I hadn’t bothered looking for her because deep down, I knew where she would be. In the spot with the cool group, where they always hung out and there was no way I could bring myself to join her. That would be too humiliating.
Back in class, I whispered, “Millie…where did you get to during lunch break?”
“I was just talking to Harry and his friends,” she replied in an off-handed manner. “They called me over, and then I couldn’t find you.”
“Enough of that chatter, girls!” exclaimed Mrs. Jackson. “Recess is over; it’s time to get on with your work.”
Millie put her head down and avoided eye contact. As much as I tried, I could not focus on the English task we’d been asked to complete. I felt really upset and didn’t know what to do.
After school, Millie said a quick goodbye and left, saying that she’d see me at school the next day. I boarded the bus and headed to my usual seat near the back. I sat down and looked sadly out the window, thinking about Millie’s words earlier.
It’s true…Millie is hanging out with that group and I’m sure she was with them at the mall on Saturday as well; so much for being my best friend!
Just as I started to think about Harry Robinson, and the possibility of him liking Millie, Blake Jansen flopped down on the seat next to me. “Hey,” he said. “What’s up with you today? You look like the world is coming to an end!”
Gratefully I looked up at Blake, so glad to see his friendly face. He was a person who always seemed happy and positive. I think that’s why I enjoyed his company so much. And he didn’t strut around, making out he was the best at everything, although he could if he wanted to. He was one of those kids who seemed to be good at everything – good at school work, good at sport; he had made the regional football team and he was also a really good drummer. Then to top it all off, he was good looking as well!
I sat back and started to think differently about Blake. The thought of the mysterious dream book also entered my mind. I must read it again tonight, I decided; before Mom has to return it to her friend. Blake’s positive personality made me completely forget about my problems with Millie and her new friends. I even stopped thinking about Harry. And when Blake invited me over to his house to hang out on the weekend, I eagerly accepted.
At least I have that to look forward to I thought to myself as I hopped off the bus and waved goodbye to Blake. Then I headed on up to my bedroom, keen to read my favorite new book one more time.
The fight…
It was the loud yelling that woke me. I’d been in a deep sleep, dreaming of Millie and Harry Robinson holding hands and smiling into each other’s eyes. And just as they were about to kiss, I woke with a huge start.
At first I didn’t know where I was or what was happening, but then the sound of my mother’s voice shook me back to consciousness. My parents had been fighting a lot lately, but something in Mom’s voice forced me out of bed and made me race for my bedroom door. My throat felt tight with fear as I threw the door open. It was suddenly deadly quiet and I didn’t know what I would find.
As I headed into the kitchen, the first thing I noticed was the mess on the worn floorboards. What appeared to be a broken serving dish and the remains of an uneaten meal lay scattered across the bench top and was dripping onto the floor below.
There was no sign of my parents anywhere! That was when I started to panic. Nervously, I opened the front door and looked out onto the empty driveway where our car had been parked earlier that evening. Our garage was so full of junk, that we hadn’t been able to fit our car in there for as long as I could remember. It was then I spotted my mother, hunched over on the bottom step, her head buried deep in her lap. As I quickly approached her, I could hear the soft sound of her quiet sobbing and I wrapped my arms around her shaking shoulders.
“Mom!” I stammered. “Are you alright? Where’s Dad? What happened?”
“Oh Julia, he was so angry!” she sobbed. “I’ve never seen him like that before. I don’t know if he’s coming back!”
“But what happened tonight? Why is there such a mess in the kitchen?” I questioned, fear gripping the pit of my stomach.
“He went into a rage! He threw his dinner on the floor, ran out the door and drove off. I think your father needs help, Julia! I don’t know what to do!” Mom was almost hysterical.
I gently coaxed her back into the house. She was a mess. They’d been fighting more and more but it had never been this bad before. Tonight I felt like I was the parent. I made her a cup of tea and sat down with her while she drank it. I shook my head at the thought of my brother still sound asleep in his bed. A bomb could literally go off and I’m sure it wouldn’t wake him. He almost went into a coma when he went to sleep. It constantly amazed me.
“What happened, Mom?” I asked her gently. “I’ve never seen or heard of Dad getting into such a state before! What caused him to get so angry?”
“He said it’s all my fault!” she sobbed. “He said that he can’t stand living with me anymore. Then he got really angry and left. What am I going to do?”
I sat there frantically worrying about my parents and the way they’ve been acting with each other lately. That was another thing that I was envious of Millie for. Her parents always seemed so happy. I never heard a raised voice in her house, everyone seemed to get on well and her Mom never nagged Millie or her brother.
I sat comforting my mom, feeling closer to her than I had in ages. We talked about good things and bad things but the best part was that we were actually talking. I used to be so close to my mom and I really missed the special times we always shared together.
Eventually, I coaxed her back into bed, hoping more than anything that Dad would return by the morning and everything would be okay.
How to Make Your Dreams Come True! The tattered brown cover caught my eye as I climbed back into bed. Even though I was exhausted and terribly worried, I switched on my bedside lamp and continued reading from where I had left off before going to sleep.
A couple of hours later, I turned the last page and read and reread the final paragraph, taking in the meaning of the words in front of me…Dream, Believe and Achieve. With a positive mindset and belief in yourself and your dreams, anything is possible.
With those words foremost in my mind, I turned off the light and went to sleep.
Conflict…
Tiptoeing downstairs the next morning, I silently approached the kitchen. I was desperately hoping to see my dad in his usual spot, reading the morning paper before leaving for work. But my heart sank at the sight of my mother sitting alone at the kitchen bench.
Hearing me approach, she looked up, a worried frown visible on her face. In answer to my unspoken question, her words broke the still silence, “He came back in the middle of the night and left again for work very early this morning. We hardly spoke. But at least he did say that he’ll be back at his usual time late this afternoon.”
Julia Jones' Diary - Boxed Set - Books 2 to 6 Page 7
