I breathed a huge sigh of relief and when I sat down next to her, I remembered what was clasped firmly in my hand. “Mom, I want you to promise me that you’ll read this!” I said adamantly, placing the book down on the bench top in front of her, the gold swirly letters of the title glowing mysteriously from the cover.
“What is it, Julia?” she asked. “I have a lot on my mind at the moment. And sitting down to read isn’t a top priority right now.”
“Mom, this isn’t just any book! I’ve never read anything like this before and I really think that you should read it too.” I pleaded with her, wanting more than anything for her to just listen to me.
“I don’t think that it was a coincidence your friend dropped in and left this book for you. I really think that we were both meant to read it. Just put aside some time and promise me that you’ll at least have a look at it.”
There was probably something in my tone that made her agree. Reluctantly she nodded her head and said that she would make an effort to read some of it before leaving for work at midday.
Feeling slightly relieved, I quickly ate some breakfast and raced for the shower before my brother got there before me. He was still asleep in bed, blissfully unaware of what had happened the night before. He’s probably dreaming of Lily, I smirked to myself, and doesn’t want to wake up.
I sneaked quickly into the bathroom, before he woke and created a scene about needing it first. Then headed out to the bus stop, where I waited for the bus, deep in thought. I was feeling a little concerned about going to school and facing Millie, really not sure what her reaction would be. Determined to stay positive though, I boarded the bus, grabbed a seat up the back and focused on my parents being able to sort things out. They have had plenty of arguments before but I’d never seen Dad behave the way that Mom described. That was really scary and I tried to put the terrible image out of my mind.
As the bus pulled up in front of the school, I looked apprehensively out the window for the familiar sight of Millie, waiting for me to arrive. But she was nowhere to be seen. My heart dropped and with my eyes downcast, I made my way to our classroom and sat down quietly at my desk, waiting for the bell to ring.
Millie seemed to appear from nowhere. I turned my head and there she was sitting at her desk next to me. “Hey Julia!” she said, smiling happily. “How are you?”
“Good thanks,” I replied. “Were you running late this morning?”
“Yeah, I was in the biggest rush. I never thought I’d get here!” she explained as she got out her books ready to start work.
Reassured by her friendly manner, I decided to ask her if we could maybe hang out after school one afternoon during the week. But then Mrs. Jackson dropped a collection of papers upside down on our desks. I realized it was our Math assignments and I nervously turned mine over.
The big red A+ stood out clearly in the top right hand corner, along with Mrs. Jackson’s neatly written comment…Excellent work, Julia. A fabulous effort!
I was sure that the beaming smile that had spread across my face was an exact replica of the one I had previously been picturing in my mind.
“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed ecstatically. “I’ve never achieved an A in Math before, yet alone an A+. I can’t believe it!”
Millie looked down with disgust at the C on her assignment. She is normally an all-round A student and it was clear that she was not happy.
“Oh whatever!” Millie rolled her eyes skyward. “It’s just a stupid Math assignment. I was too busy on the weekend to spend much time on it. Who cares anyway?”
Her mouth set in a firm line, she then proceeded to get on with the work that Mrs. Jackson had put on the board. She was acting as though she wasn’t bothered about the C, but it was plainly obvious that she was upset. She was definitely not used to scoring low marks. Clearly though, she didn’t want to talk, so we silently continued our work.
When the bell rang for morning recess later that morning, without a word, Millie left her desk and was out the door before I could barely even blink. The pleasure I had felt earlier at the sight of the A+ on my homework had completely disappeared.
Miserably, I wandered down the stairs looking for some other friends to hang out with. The trouble with having one best friend is that if you have a falling out, then you’re left on your own. But thankfully there are some nice girls in our class who were more than happy for me to join them. I was so grateful that at least I didn’t have to be a total loner, although it was a huge effort to try to take part in their conversation.
My earlier hope of Millie and I sorting things out was obviously something that was not going to happen. Her friendliness when she had arrived in class was all fake. I could see that now.
I heard some raucous laughter coming from nearby and stole a glance in that direction. It was Sara Hamilton and her group of friends, cracking up over some joke or another, I guessed. And Millie, who was sitting amongst them, seemed to be the center of attention. Laughing and joking, they appeared to be having heaps of fun and right by Millie’s side was Harry Robinson. His long blonde fringe was flicked to one side and his beautiful blue eyes were focused completely on Millie.
The familiar pangs of jealousy hit me with a thud and I rushed to the bathroom in tears. So much for making my dreams come true. What a load of garbage; and what a waste of time convincing my Mom to read that dream book. I’ll probably get home and my parents will have split up.
These were the thoughts racing through my mind when I suddenly heard people approaching. I quickly splashed water over my tear stained face, not wanting anyone to see that I was upset. Then the sound of a familiar voice made me gasp, “I love hanging out with you guys. It’s so much more fun than being with Julia!”
Horrified, I looked towards Millie who suddenly realized that I’d overheard her conversation. The look of guilt was clearly visible on her face and as I rushed past her, speechless, I couldn’t help but notice Sara’s cold menacing eyes and smug look of victory.
Back in class, my head was spinning. There was no way that I could even look at Millie. Without making a scene, I moved my desk as far away from hers as possible. Then I put my head down, pretending to do some work but concentrated with all my might on preventing the tears from falling. As Sara walked past on her way to her desk, I couldn’t help but notice her confident smirk.
“No!” a voice screamed inside my head. “You cannot let her get to you!” Memories of her terrible bullying still haunted me and I knew that I would have to be really strong to ensure it didn’t happen all over again.
Being confident and assertive was the only way I’d been able to overcome all the problems I’d had with Sara in the past. Deep in my heart I knew that. So with a huge amount of effort, I gathered all my strength, took a deep breath and got on with my work, pretending that I was not bothered whatsoever.
I could not let them see that I was upset. That would only allow Sara to regain her power over me and I was determined that I would never be bullied like that again. I had to stay strong and believe that Millie would eventually find out who her true friend was. With a determination I didn’t know I possessed, I put all thoughts of Millie and her new friends out of my mind and got on with my school work.
Turning it around…
Dinner that night was very uncomfortable. I could feel the tension between Mom and Dad and picked at my food quietly. I had absolutely no appetite and was hoping to be excused from the table as quickly as possible.
Thankfully Matt was his usual loud and chatty self. Clearly oblivious to the awkward silence around him, he prattled on about some kid at school who is an awesome basketball player and has been selected to play in a regional tournament. Matt has a huge passion for basketball and spends most of his spare time at the nearby courts, practicing and playing in the local competition. Mom isn’t happy about all the time he spends there, but Dad keeps reassuring her that it’s better for him to be active than sitting at home on the computer.
Finall
y, I was allowed to be excused and as it was Matt’s turn to do the dishes, I was able to sneak on up to my bedroom.
About an hour later as I sat at my desk staring blankly at my homework, I heard a quiet knock. “Come in,” I called and Mom hesitatingly peeked her head around the door.
“Sorry to interrupt your homework, darling” she said gently. “Is it okay if I come in?”
“Yes, of course,” I replied, and looked up at her not sure what to expect.
“I read quite a bit of that book today,” she said. “I actually became so engrossed that I forgot the time and was nearly late for work.”
I looked at my mother, waiting for her to continue. I had not anticipated this.
Sitting down on my bed, she exclaimed, “Julia, you’re right! It’s a fabulous book and something that I think I should have read a long time ago!”
“Yes, but I don’t know if what they talk about in that book can really happen,” I said in a defiant manner. “So many things seem to be going wrong at the moment – it’s pretty obvious that the stuff they mention doesn’t work.”
“It’s all about your attitude, Julia. Thinking negative thoughts will only give you a negative response,” she continued. “You need to stay positive and focus on the things that you want to happen, rather than constantly worrying about what you don’t want to happen.”
“Do you understand, sweetheart?”
“Yes, of course I understand,” I scoffed rudely. I couldn’t believe that she was now lecturing me on the book that I had encouraged her to read. “I’ve been trying so hard to stay positive but everything is going wrong! Like I told you, it doesn’t work!”
I knew that I was reacting to everything that had happened; my problems at school with Millie and Sara, Harry Robinson taking a sudden interest in Millie and Mom and Dad on the verge of splitting up. How on earth was I supposed to be positive when I had all that going on around me?
I sat there sulking miserably. It was all just too hard and it wasn’t fair! First I lose my best friend and then my parents decide to split up. Why is this happening when all I’ve been trying to do is to be positive and make my dreams come true? I certainly wasn’t hoping for negative stuff to happen, that’s for sure.
“I know it can be very difficult to keep a positive mindset,” said Mom. “But the secret is to try your hardest to really believe that everything will work out and it usually does.”
“How come you’re suddenly acting like this?” I asked her. “I’ve never heard you talk this way before.”
“I should have taken these ideas on board a long time ago,” she sighed. “I know that I’m pretty much to blame for your Dad’s reaction last night. I’ve been such a negative presence in this house for a long time now. But reading the dream book today, has made me realize that I have so much to be grateful for! I have a beautiful loving husband who tries to do his best and two wonderful children who I should be very proud of.”
I sat there staring at my mother in disbelief. Who was this person? I couldn’t remember her ever talking this way before!
“Reading what I did today, really opened my eyes and now I can see that I’ve been making a huge mistake. But it’s up to me to change that. Since dinner tonight, your father and I have been talking and really listening to each other. I think that it’s the closest we have been in a long time! I really believe that everything will be ok between us, Julia. You don’t have to worry.”
Completely taken aback by my mother’s words, I sat staring into space for a few moments. Then unexpectedly, something very important that I had totally forgotten about abruptly popped into my mind.
“I completely forgot to mention it, but there is one positive thing that has happened to me since reading the dream book.”
“Really?” she asked. “What is it?”
“We got our Math assignment back today. I didn’t tell you but I worked really hard on it and focused on getting an A. And guess what! I actually got an A+! I’ve never done that well in Math before – it was like a miracle!” I exclaimed loudly, my energy level taking a sudden shift.
“Julia, that is so wonderful!” The pleased look on my mother’s face really lifted my spirits but then without any warning whatsoever, I burst into tears.
Changing…
“Julia, it’s going to be okay!” my mother hugged me and stroked my hair the way she used to when I was little. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had hugged my mother. But it felt so good.
It was what I needed just then; some reassurance that everything was going to work out. And for the first time in ages, I poured out all my problems. I told her all about Millie and how upset I was. I told her that I was scared to go to school the following day and I told her about how important I had always thought it was to be accepted by the cool group.
It felt so good to actually be talking to her about everything that was bothering me. And the best part was, she sat and listened without being critical, or telling me I was being silly, or that I should just grow up and get over it.
Rather than doing any of these things, Mom gave me some advice. And I really think that it’s the best advice that she has ever given me.
“Julia,” she said kindly but firmly, “See in your mind what you want to happen, believe that it will happen and just stay positive. You’ll be amazed at the miracles you can create!”
It was like my mother was a different person. But I was so glad at that moment that she was my mother. And I was so very grateful to her friend for lending us her dream book. What a gift and what a huge difference it had made already.
Mom said goodnight and left me to my thoughts. It took me a while to fall asleep but the visions floating around in my head were the dreams that I was determined would come true.
So sorry…
I can’t say that it was easy, but I managed to get through the following week at school. I continued to sit in the same spot in class that I always had, right by Millie. I talked briefly to her, but wasn’t mean or nasty or cruel in any way. During lunch breaks, I hung out with the other girls who had welcomed me into their group. I occasionally watched Millie becoming more and more a part of the “cool” kids’ group. And while I didn’t like what I saw, I didn’t criticize or comment.
I continued to focus on eventually regaining my friendship with Millie. But I completely changed my mind about Harry Robinson and the group Millie was hanging out with. And I cursed myself for even having considered being friends with them, especially when Sara Hamilton was involved.
Finally though, it was the weekend, and I went to Blake’s house as planned. I had really been looking forward to that and we’d organized that we would spend time in his dad’s music studio as we both loved music so much.
Blake’s dad is an awesome drummer but he also plays guitar and has several guitars lying around. I was so excited when he told me that as long as I was careful, I could have a play on one of them. He even taught me the chords to some popular songs and in no time at all, I was managing to play them reasonably well. He was very impressed with how quickly I learnt what he had taught me and that made me feel very proud.
For what seemed like several hours, Blake played his drums, while I strummed chords on his dad’s guitar. It was the most fun that I’d had in ages.
We decided that we’d hang out again the following weekend. I felt so grateful to have Blake for a friend. And already, I couldn’t wait to get together again in his dad’s studio. Finally it was time for me to leave and with a reluctant goodbye, I headed home.
As I walked in my front door later that afternoon, I could hear the telephone ringing. Although I rushed to answer it, by the time I had picked it up and said hello, the person calling had hung up. Heading into the kitchen for a quick snack before dinner, I heard the phone ring again. The familiar voice on the other end was so unexpected, that I stood still with shock.
“Julia! Please don’t hang up on me!” It took me a moment to realize that Millie was crying. “Ca
n I please come over?” she begged. “I need to talk to you!”
I could hear in her voice that she was very upset and although my immediate reaction was to say that I was busy, I quietly agreed.
With anxious anticipation, I waited by the front door, not knowing what to expect. Why did she want to visit me all of a sudden and why was she so upset? I started to panic that something very bad may have happened. But why come to me about it? These questions raced through my mind as I waited worriedly for her to arrive.
At the sound of the bell, I opened the door and Millie burst in, tears streaming down her face.
“Julia, I’m so sorry,” she cried. “Will you ever forgive me?”
Mouth agape, I stood looking at her, overcome with shock at her words.
“Come up to my room,” I replied. “And tell me what’s going on.”
“They were so mean to me,” she sobbed as she sat down on my bed. “They invited me to hang out with them at the mall today and when I got there, they just ignored me.”
“Who are you talking about, Millie?” I asked, even though I was sure that I knew the answer.
“Sara and Harry and all their friends,” Millie cried. “At first, they wouldn’t even talk to me and then they started making fun of me. They were whispering to each other and being so mean. It was humiliating! I didn’t know what to do!”
“I thought Harry liked me,” she sobbed once more. “But he’s the meanest of them all! He thinks he’s so cool and just puts everyone down. And all they do is gossip about everyone at school and make up lies. It’s horrible!”
I sat there looking at Millie sympathetically. I really did feel sorry for her. It wasn’t her fault that she had been sucked in by them. It could easily have been me. I had originally wanted to hang out with them too. I thought that being with them would make me cool, but they’re not genuine friends at all. And I couldn’t believe that I’d been so obsessed with Harry either. He seemed to be the biggest jerk of them all!
Julia Jones' Diary - Boxed Set - Books 2 to 6 Page 8
