Help! We Have Strange Powers!

by R. L. Stine

  “Everybody dance!” Mrs. Lerner shouted. “Come on! Boogie! Everyone boogie down!”

  No one moved. The kids all looked embarrassed. The music was terrible. So bad, even my parents wouldn’t listen to it.

  I moved toward the den. Jackson handed Artie his present.

  Artie ripped the paper off and stared at the game. “I already have it,” he said. He handed it back to Jackson. “Can you exchange it for something else?”

  I could see my brother grit his teeth.

  Nina grabbed my arm. She was holding a paper cup of red punch. “Jillian, I love that white sweater,” she gushed. “Is it new?”

  “Yes,” I said, “I —”

  She leaned forward, and red punch spilled down the front of my sweater.

  “Oh, I’m so clumsy!” Nina cried. “Mom — paper towels! Paper towels!”

  Was that spill on purpose? Or was it an accident?

  I read Nina’s mind. It was an accident. She was just a total klutz.

  Mrs. Lerner studied the stain on my sweater. “We need to pour club soda on that,” she said. “Jillian, take it off.”

  “I can’t take it off!” I cried. “I don’t have anything on under it!”

  Nina pulled me up to her room. She took the stained sweater and gave me one of her T-shirts to wear. It was pink and said DIVA PRINCESS on the front in sparkly letters.

  “Now we’re twins!” she gushed.

  I groaned. I don’t think she heard me. She still had the earplugs in.

  She pulled me back down to the party. It was karaoke time.

  I admit it. I usually like karaoke. It’s fun to get up there and sing like a rock star.

  But this was as dreary as the rest of the party. The boys didn’t join in. They kept making up gross, disgusting words to the songs. And Nina wouldn’t sing. She said she had a bad sore throat.

  Artie didn’t sing, either. He kept whining that the little kids were hogging his Wii game.

  So you get the picture. This was not the world’s best birthday party.

  About two hundred hours later, Jackson came up to me with a grin on his face. “Watch this,” he whispered.

  “Watch what?” I asked.

  “I’m going to make the birthday cake float out the window. You know. To help liven up this party.” He turned and stared at the cake.

  “No way,” I said. I grabbed him and turned him around. “Remember our promise? Be nice? And — we don’t want the whole world to know our secret?”

  Jackson growled. He wandered into the other room to watch the little kids play Wii tennis.

  Kids started to leave the party as soon as they had their cake. I breathed a long sigh. “We survived it!” I whispered to Jackson. We started for the door.

  But Nina blocked the way. “Don’t go yet,” she said. “Stay till everyone’s gone. Artie and I want to tell you something.”

  “Tell us something?”

  She pressed her finger to her lips, like it was a big secret.

  Jackson and I were trapped. It took a long time for parents to show up to get their kids. Finally, everyone was gone but Jackson and me.

  “What a lovely party,” Mrs. Lerner said. “I’ll be back in a little bit, kids. I have to go pick up your dad at the airport. Too bad he missed all the fun.”

  A few seconds later, I heard her car pull away. We were alone with Nina and Artie.

  “We want to tell you something,” Nina said.

  Artie grinned. “Yeah. We have a little surprise.”

  What kind of surprise? I wondered.

  Nina opened her mouth to explain.

  A deafening CRASH behind me made me jump.

  I spun around and saw the front door burst open.

  All four of us cried out as Inspector Cranium came roaring in. His white lab coat flew behind him. His bald head was drenched with sweat.

  His tiny bird eyes darted around, taking in everyone in the room.

  “Did you really think you could fool me?” he boomed. “Did you really think you could keep your powers hidden from me?”

  Jackson and I backed up against the wall. My legs were trembling. My heart started to pound.

  I saw Nina and Artie back away, too. Their eyes were wide with fright. Artie stumbled and fell over the arm of the couch.

  Cranium angrily stormed toward us.

  I knew I had to act fast. But I was too frightened to move or think.

  Cranium came closer.

  Finally, I found my voice. “Jackson and I are sorry,” I said. “We didn’t mean to fool you. We —”

  “Shut up!” Cranium growled, his eyes glowing with fury.

  “But we aren’t —”

  Cranium cut me off. “I told you to keep still!” he bellowed. He gave me a hard stare — and I felt a sharp electrical jolt, like a slap.

  “Ow!” I cried out, and pressed my hand to my burning cheek.

  Cranium was inches from me.

  I closed my eyes and tried to block him out.

  “You know who I am!” he boomed. “You know what I have to do to you. I have to drain your brains!”

  I waited for the awful shock and the pulsing pain that would rack my brain. Waited …

  “Huh?” I felt nothing.

  I opened my eyes and saw Cranium standing by the couch. He was staring at Nina and Artie.

  Nina screamed.

  Artie scrambled up from the couch. “Leave us alone!” he cried.

  “You don’t want them!” I shouted. “Why do you want to frighten them?”

  “They don’t know anything,” Jackson said. “They don’t know that Jillian and I have powers.”

  Cranium sneered. “Who cares about your puny powers?”

  He turned back to the Lerner twins. “You’ve hidden for too long,” he said. “You give me no choice. I have to drain your brains completely.”

  “D-drain our brains?” Nina stammered.

  “This is totally crazy!” Jackson blurted out. “Nina and Artie don’t know what you’re talking about. Come on — we’re out of here!” He grabbed Nina’s arm to lead her to the door.

  But Cranium moved quickly to block the way. He narrowed his eyes at Jackson.

  Jackson uttered a cry. His hands flew up as he felt a powerful electrical jolt. He didn’t take another step.

  “What does that mean? Drain our brains?” Artie whined. His nose was running, but he just let it drip. “Who are you? Why do you want to hurt us? It’s our birthday!”

  “It won’t help to play innocent,” Cranium replied. “I received your vibrations. I know the truth about you two.”

  My mind spun.

  Was it possible? Did Cranium think Artie and Nina had powers?

  “I have no choice,” Cranium said. “As an inspector with the Thought Police, I have to do this for the good of the world.”

  I stared hard at him. “You drain people’s brains for the good of the world?”

  He nodded. “We can’t allow normal people to have powers. Normal people are too weak, too foolish.”

  I crossed my arms in front of me. “Huh? Is that supposed to make sense?”

  “Only the Thought Police can have that power!” Inspector Cranium bellowed. “We keep order. Don’t you ever wonder why you never meet any real superheroes?” he asked. “It’s because we get to them first.”

  “You mean — without you, there would be real superheroes in the world?” I asked.

  Inspector Cranium scowled at me. “Lots of people have powers. But we make sure they can’t use them. There are very few people in this world who know what to do with superpowers. We know who they are … and the rest must be done away with….”

  The four of us stared at him in terrified silence.

  “Enough talk,” Cranium growled. He turned to the Lerner twins. “I have to empty out your brains now.”

  He pointed a finger at Nina and Artie. Staring hard, he began waving his hand in circles as he pointed.

  Artie let out a groan.

>   Nina grabbed her head with both hands. “It hurts! It HURTS!” she wailed.

  As I watched in horror, I knew what was happening. Cranium was draining their brains … draining away all their thoughts.

  Beside me, I saw Jackson start to move. He began waving both arms. Whirling them up and down like a windmill.

  He stared at Inspector Cranium and pumped his arms hard and fast.

  A few seconds later, Inspector Cranium stumbled backward. He grabbed his throat. He started to choke.

  Jackson didn’t stop. He kept windmilling his arms and staring hard at Cranium.

  Cranium made horrible gagging sounds. He gripped his throat, struggling to breathe. His face turned bright red.

  Nina and Artie stood frozen beside the couch. They were both shaking and pale.

  “Run!” Jackson shouted. “Hurry — MOVE! I — I can’t hold him for long!”

  Before we could take a step, Cranium exploded in an animal roar.

  Jackson uttered a weak moan — and fell over backward. He landed with a thud on his back on the carpet, stunned, gasping for breath.

  Rubbing his throat, Cranium let a smile cross his face. “I beat you, kid,” he rasped. “Nice try.”

  He stepped over Jackson. “Your brother is pretty good,” he said to me. “But not good enough. Where was I? Oh, yes. I was dealing with your poor, innocent friends.”

  “No, please — leave them alone!” I stepped back, out of his path —

  — and bumped into Nina.

  “No problem,” Nina whispered. She patted me on the shoulder. Then she turned to face Inspector Cranium.

  Cranium’s tiny eyes bulged. “Are you going to challenge me now, little mouse?” He laughed.

  “How about a flying lesson?” Nina cried.

  She raised both hands above her head.

  Cranium let out a shocked gasp — and floated off the floor.

  He kicked his legs and thrashed his arms wildly. But he was helpless.

  Nina waved her arms. And he bobbed up to the ceiling like a big helium balloon. And stayed there, his back pressed up against the ceiling.

  Nina helped Jackson to his feet. Then she turned to me. “That was a close one,” she said.

  Artie hurried out from behind the couch. He uttered a relieved laugh. “Look at the dude up there! Air Cranium!”

  “Let me down!” Inspector Cranium cried, his voice hoarse. “Let me down! You can’t do this to the Thought Police!”

  I squinted at Nina. “So you DO have powers!”

  She nodded. “I was born with them. I have the same powers as Jackson. Only a lot more powerful.” She smiled. “Artie and I were only pretending to be frozen that day you came over.”

  “That’s what we wanted to tell you,” Artie said. “Nina and I were born with special powers. But we learned to hide them. We know about the Thought Police. We tried to keep our powers a secret from them.

  “Having powers is too dangerous,” Artie continued. He glanced up at Cranium, bobbing on the ceiling. “The Thought Police are always out there. Always looking for people who are different.

  “Nina and I act like nerdy, klutzy kids so no one will notice us,” Artie went on. “We don’t want anyone to know the truth.”

  Nina and Artie Lerner had superpowers?

  I was so shocked, I almost forgot about Cranium.

  I looked up. He shouted down at me. “Let me down! I’m SERIOUS! You can’t keep me up here! Let me down — and I’ll go easy on you and your brother. I just want the others!”

  Then, before I could answer, Cranium reached down — and grabbed me by the hair!

  “NOOOO! Let go!” I shrieked.

  He tugged hard, and I cried out in pain. I tried to grab his hands and pull them away. But I wasn’t strong enough.

  Jackson started to windmill his arms again.

  Cranium made a gulping sound. Again, he began to gasp and struggle for breath.

  Red-faced, he locked his eyes on Jackson. Jackson uttered a cry — and toppled onto his back on the floor. He tried to get up, but Inspector Cranium’s powers held him down.

  He tightened his grip on my hair and pulled with all his strength.

  Pain shot down my head … down the back of my neck. He almost lifted me off the floor!

  Then I saw Nina standing very stiff and still. Her eyes were narrowed at Cranium’s hand. Nina gritted her teeth … concentrating hard.

  I heard a sick popping sound. Then the crackle of bones breaking.

  Cranium opened his mouth in a shriek of pain.

  I felt his fingers fall away from my hair. I ducked hard and dropped to my knees.

  Cranium was screaming and holding his hand in front of him. The hand looked as if it had exploded. His fingers were bent and broken and twisted in all angles.

  “Too bad! Did you hurt your hand?” Nina shouted.

  My head still throbbed. I brushed down my hair and scrambled across the room to Nina. “Thank you,” I said breathlessly.

  “Let me down — now!” Cranium insisted. “You can’t do this to the Thought Police. You’ll never get away with it.” He waved his broken hand.

  “Enough,” Nina murmured. She turned to her brother. “We have to lose this guy. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  Artie nodded in agreement. “Yes. STAND BACK, everyone!”

  “Finney knows that I’m here!” Inspector Cranium shouted from the ceiling. “He’ll bring other officers. You won’t get away from the Thought Police. I promise you! Your brains will all be drained!”

  Artie turned to Jackson and me. “Stand out of the way! I’m going to use MY powers now!”

  He waved us back. “My powers are a little different from yours,” he said.

  “Like how?” I asked.

  “Well … I can move time.”

  Jackson and I both gasped. “You mean …”

  “Let me DOWN!” Inspector Cranium boomed. “Let me down now, and I promise I’ll drain your brains quickly and painlessly.”

  I realized Jackson was concentrating on something across the room. I followed his gaze. He was staring at what was left of the birthday cake. Just a big glob of chocolate on the cake plate.

  The three of us watched as the hunk of cake floated off the plate … flew across the room … shot up fast … and smashed into Inspector Cranium’s angry face.

  He sputtered and cursed, rubbing chocolate from his eyes.

  Nina, Jackson, and I laughed. But Artie didn’t join us.

  “Stand back,” he said. “Let’s see what I can do to solve the Cranium problem.”

  Artie crossed his arms tightly over his chest. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes. He muttered some words I couldn’t make out.

  Then he opened his eyes and raised them to Inspector Cranium, bobbing on the ceiling.

  “Let me down!” Cranium boomed. “This is your final warning!”

  Artie chanted some strange words in a low voice. He kept his stare on Cranium.

  “Your last warning!” Cranium repeated. But this time his voice was higher … softer. “You kids cannot handle your powers! You must stop this nonsense and let me down!”

  Cranium’s voice grew even higher.

  I gazed up at him. “Oh, my goodness!” I cried out in shock.

  Cranium was no longer bald. He had a full head of black wavy hair.

  As I stared, his beard disappeared. He was growing even shorter. His arms and legs shrank into his lab coat.

  “He … looks a lot younger,” I muttered.

  “He IS younger,” Nina said, close beside me. “It’s working. Watch!”

  Artie had his eyes wide on Cranium. With his arms still crossed in front of him, he chanted the same words over and over.

  Cranium’s hands thrashed at his sides. His shoes fell off and thumped to the floor. He kicked the ceiling with his bare feet.

  “Let me down! Let me down!” he shouted in a little boy’s voice. “Let me DOWN! This isn’t fair! This isn’t FAIR!”
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br />   And then … “WAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

  Cranium wailed like a baby.

  He WAS a baby. A red-faced baby wrapped in a big lab coat, furiously waving his tiny hands and legs.

  “WAAAAAH! WAAAAH!”

  “It … it worked!” Artie gasped, breathing hard. “I sent him back. I turned back time for him. Wow. That was WILD!”

  Nina raised both hands. She pointed up at the wailing baby — and swept both hands toward the battered front door.

  Still crying at the top of his lungs, Baby Cranium went sailing across the room — and out the open door.

  We watched from the window as he went flying over the trees, into the distance.

  Then we all started laughing and talking at once. We slapped high fives and touched knuckles and did a crazy celebration dance around the living room.

  I’d never felt so happy!

  “Artie, that was AMAZING!” I cried. “You BOTH are amazing!”

  Nina nodded. “Yes, we’re amazing,” she said. “But we’re also in trouble.” Her grin faded. “Do you really think we can ever be safe from the Thought Police?”

  * * *

  Jackson and I looked for the Lerner twins at school on Monday, but they weren’t there. After school, we walked to their house to see how they were doing.

  I rang the front doorbell. We waited. Silence inside the house.

  I rang the bell again and knocked. Nobody home?

  I jumped off the stoop and gazed into the living room window. “Oh, wow! I don’t believe this!” I cried. “Jackson — look! It’s empty!”

  All the furniture was gone. The room was completely bare.

  We hurried around to the back and peered into the kitchen. Dark and empty.

  “They’re gone,” I said. “Just disappeared without saying good-bye or anything.”

  Jackson shook his head. “The Lerners were only here a few months. Guess they have to move around a lot.”

  I grabbed his shirtsleeve. I read his mind. We were both thinking the same thing.

  Will we have to keep moving, too?

  We walked to the shoe store on the next block. Dad had given me money to buy new sneakers.

  We walked in silence. We were both thinking hard about Nina and Artie … and Cranium.