Irish Aisle are Smiling

by Laura Durham

  "Of course not. He's already forgotten about it." I didn't tell her that he'd forgotten about it because we were knee deep in another murder. "But you should start looking for your dress before we get home. Unless you find something off the rack, they can take a while to order. There are a couple of bridal shops in Georgetown you can check out."

  "Okay, but I'll wait until you and Kate are back to pick out bridesmaids' dresses. I want you to pick something you like."

  Even though we were thousands of miles apart, I felt my face freeze. "You want us to be bridesmaids?"

  "Didn't you know that? It wouldn't be the same without you and Kate standing by my side."

  Even though a part of me was touched, another part of me was horrified at the thought of being a bridesmaid. I was used to being on the other side of things and behind the scenes. The thought of standing at the front of the ceremony made my palms sweaty.

  "I like the idea of all of the ladies wearing lace jumpsuits," Leatrice continued. "I'd be in white, obviously, but do you think they have them in orange for you girls?"

  My mouth went dry.

  "Hey babe," Reese's voice came back on the phone. "I was going to give you a hard time about what you've been up to, but after what Leatrice just told you, I think it would be cruel."

  "She's joking about orange lace jumpsuits, right?" I said.

  "To give you a little perspective, she's currently wearing a double knit green pantsuit with a spread collar." He paused. "And her earrings light up."

  I took a deep breath and told myself it wasn't the end of the world. Maybe being detained in Ireland indefinitely wasn't such a bad idea. I saw something fly across the floor from the doorway. "Hold on a second."

  The white square came to rest a few feet inside my room, and I walked over to retrieve it. It appeared to be a note written on hotel stationery and folded several times. I recognized Fern's loopy handwriting.

  Meet us in the parking lot in five minutes.

  I shook my head. Knowing Fern, he was planning a full-scale Great Escape-style departure.

  "Everything okay?" Reese asked. "Or are you still recovering from the idea of orange lace?"

  "I've decided to worry about that later. I think I may have an idea about the case though." I looked at the note then at the floor. Finally, I dropped to my knees and eyed the bottom of the hotel door. "I think I figured out how someone is framing Kate. At least part of it."

  "That was fast. Was it something I said?"

  "Actually, I think I have Fern to thank," I said.

  "That might be a first," Reese said with a laugh.

  I opened my door and spotted Fern moving down the hall. He'd traded in his hardcore weather gear for a trench coat and dark sunglasses.

  He spun around when he heard me and peered down over the glasses. "Did you read my note? Are you ready to break out of here?"

  "I just have to talk to the Gardaí first," I said. "Then I think they might be happy to let us go."

  Chapter 18

  "What's all this about you poking a hole in my case?" Garda Ryan asked, tapping one foot on the carpeted floor of Kate's room.

  I'd asked Fern to bring him up while I gathered the rest of our team in Kate's room and now we all stood inside the small sitting area. I'd also asked Betty Belle for the use of her green shamrock luggage tag, so she stood with us looking slightly confused and a bit weepy.

  Kate sat on one of the silver upholstered chairs with Fern, still in his trench coat and sunglasses, by her side.

  "This is very Hercule Poirot," Richard said. "I hope you know what you're doing, darling."

  "Me too," I whispered. I wasn't thrilled the female garda who seemed to have a grudge against Kate had joined us, but I also couldn't think of a reason to kick her out.

  Buster shifted from one foot to the next and his leather pants creaked. "You don't need to prove anything to us."

  "That's right," Mack said, shooting both gardas dirty looks. "Anyone who knows Kate knows she's innocent."

  "Exactly," I said. "We're here to show that Kate is innocent and prove she's being framed."

  The gardas exchanged a glance that told me I needed to speed up my dramatic reveal before I lost them.

  I held up the shamrock luggage tag. "This is an exact copy of the luggage tag you claim to have found on the floor of Kate's room. Is that correct?"

  The blonde garda let out an impatient huff. "You know it is."

  I looked at Garda Ryan until he nodded his agreement. I glanced back at the female garda. "Since you were kind enough to tell us that it was found a few feet inside her hotel room door, I thought we might try an experiment." I walked to the hotel door and opened it, stepping out into the hall. "I assert that the person who wanted to frame Kate actually threw the tag under the door." I pointed to the bottom of the door. "You'll notice that the door sits off the carpet at least an inch."

  Garda Ryan raised an eyebrow and he bent down on his haunches, eyeing the bottom of the door. "That it does."

  "Let's give it a try," I said, closing the door so that I was in the hallway alone. I rubbed my thumb across the textured surface of the tag and closed my eyes for a beat, whispering to myself, "This had better work."

  I bent down with my heart beating fast and flicked the tag under the door as hard as I could. I waited a second, releasing the breath I'd been holding without even realizing it, and knocked.

  Richard opened the door, beaming at me. "Nicely done, inspector."

  Both gardas stood looking down at where the luggage tag lay several feet inside the room. The blonde flicked her eyes nervously from the tag to her boss, and I knew that I'd hit the mark. I felt a flood of relief as I saw Kate grinning at me.

  "Look how far it flew," Betty Belle said, her voice holding tones of surprise. "I never would have thought of doing that."

  Mack patted her arm. "You don't have a criminal mind."

  "I guess I don't," the white-haired lady said in her Texas drawl.

  Garda Ryan picked up the green shamrock. "This doesn't prove she's innocent."

  "But it does show how easily someone else could have planted the tag in her room. You can't say without a doubt that Kate ever had the luggage tag in her possession." I held his gaze. "It actually seems more than likely that she's being set up because only an idiot would use their own scarf to kill someone and leave it behind to be found and then drop the victim's luggage tag in the middle of their room."

  "Annabelle's right," Fern said. "Neither of those are something a real criminal would do if they were guilty. Trust us, we've gone up against plenty of criminals."

  Kate stood. "I told you I had nothing to do with Colleen's death or her luggage disappearing. What's my motive?"

  "You're all Americans," the blonde said.

  "That's hardly a motive, dear," Richard said. "We aren't quite as homicidal as you might think. Well, not all of us."

  The woman's pupils widened as Richard arched a brow at her.

  "So," I said, my eyes focused on the cute garda whose cheeks were now flushed pink. "Unless you have any legitimate objections, we're going to go check out another historic venue."

  "As long as you aren't checking out," he said, his voice not as authoritative as it had been.

  "Not yet," I said, "but if I were you, I'd focus on finding the real killer. If we poked a hole in your case against Kate this easily, just think what a lawyer would do."

  "That's right," Fern told him. "You do not want to see me when I'm in my full barrister costume."

  "A real lawyer," I muttered to Fern as we walked out of the room and down the hall.

  He shrugged. "Never underestimate the power of a good wig, sweetie."

  "Thanks, Annie," Kate said, slipping an arm around me. "You were brilliant."

  "Don't tell Fern," I said, keeping my voice low as he walked ahead of me. "He's the one who gave me the idea by flicking a note under my door. It made me really look at the doors and realize they're cut higher off the carpet than usua
l, making it easy to slide things under. Even thick things like a luggage tag."

  "I hope you got it out of your system," Richard said walking in step with us.

  "Got what out of my system?" I asked.

  "You know." He circled his hand at the wrist. "Solving crimes. I hope this means we can move on without you insisting on tracking down the killer. We are here to find a wedding venue, you know."

  "I know," I said. "As long as none of us are being framed for murder, I'm perfectly happy letting the Gardaí take care of finding Colleen's killer."

  Richard patted his pockets. "Who has a pen? I need to get this in writing."

  "Hilarious," I said. "I promise you I have no desire to spend the rest of our trip embroiled in an investigation. We're leaving to see another venue. Would I do that if I was obsessed with solving the case?"

  Richard mumbled something I couldn't quite make out as Fern waved us toward a side door.

  "I had the driver idle the van in the parking lot so he'd be ready for us when we escaped," Fern said. "He also stocked the van with bottled waters and snacks."

  "What would a breakout be without snacks?" Kate asked.

  "You know I always go on the lam in style, sweetie," Fern said, slipping his sunglasses down and popping the collar of his trench coat.

  Chapter 19

  "I'm not sure if this is considered a breakout if it's sanctioned by the Gardaí," Richard said as we settled ourselves in the front seat of the minibus and the engine rumbled to life.

  "It gets us out of the castle and we can check two more venues off our list." I put my black nylon tote on the floor and sank back against the fabric seats, glad not to be leaning against the stone wall of the lobby and flanked by cold metal suits of armor. "Glenlo Abbey Hotel is a second string option, and I don't think Halsey will want to have her ceremony on the Cliffs of Moher, but at least we can give her the options. I don't relish telling the Senator we couldn't visit all the venues because we were being detained as murder suspects."

  Richard held up a finger. "Technically, only Kate is a suspect."

  "As if we'd leave her behind," I said, giving him a scathing look. "It's all for one and one for all."

  Fern plopped down in the seat across the aisle from us and directly behind the driver. "I've always wanted to be one of the three musketeers, especially if we could have matching capes."

  "No capes," Richard said before the words were completely out of Fern's mouth.

  "Spoil sport," Kate said, sliding in next to Fern and giving me a wink and a paper to-go cup. "But thanks for the sentiment, Annabelle."

  I breathed in the scent of coffee from the lid of the to-go cup and smiled at her, thrilled to have a liquid pick-me-up and happy she was not longer being questioned by the Gardaí. Somehow she'd managed not to let slip that we'd been inside Betty Belle's room, and I knew I owed her big time. For that and the coffee. Knowing Kate, a few Friday nights off to go on dates instead of working wedding rehearsals with me would be the perfect reward.

  I took a sip. It wasn't my usual mocha, but it would do. Twisting around to look at the older women scattered throughout the rest of the fifteen-seater, I spotted Buster and Mack taking up the entire back seat. I gave them a wave. "How many more people are joining us on our search for the perfect wedding venue?"

  "I couldn't exactly hijack their driver without inviting them, could I now?" Fern whispered, taking a swig from his own paper cup. "Not everyone wanted to come. Betty Belle is still upset about Colleen, and now she's newly upset that someone broke into their room and took Colleen's luggage."

  Nancy passed us and a cloud of patchouli followed her. Combined with the Ben-gay and floral perfumes of the other ladies, my eyes began to water. I lowered my window.

  "So we'll have a little space to spread out?" Richard eyeballed me and then the empty seats behind me.

  Fern's cheeks flushed. "Since we had some people decline, I didn't think it would be a problem to extend the invitation."

  "Extend the invitation?" Richard asked. "To whom? Don't tell me the handsome garda is coming as a personal security escort for Kate."

  Kate sat up. "I wouldn't mind that."

  "It's Derek and Grace," Fern said. "From the plane."

  "They're still here?" I asked. "I thought they'd just come to the castle to visit the grounds."

  "They did," Fern said with a flutter of his hand. "I couldn't exactly plan an outing to Glenlo Abbey and the Cliffs of Moher without at least seeing if they'd like to join us."

  "Couldn't you?" Richard mumbled.

  Before I could ask Fern more about the couple who'd happened to show up at our hotel, the newlyweds walked onto the bus.

  "Hi everyone," Grace said, giving a finger wave. "Thanks for letting us tag along."

  Her husband followed her, grinning and nodding as they made their way to two empty seats in the middle of the bus. I noticed he was about a foot taller than his wife and had short brown hair in contrast to her curly blond hair that bounced as she walked. It might have been her walk that was bouncier than her hair, since she struck me as being very perky.

  Fern tapped the bus driver's shoulder. "That's everyone, Seamus."

  Richard raised an eyebrow at me as the bus shifted into gear and jerked forward. "It's not too late to jump off."

  "And stay at the castle even longer?" I shook my head. "I'll take my chances being cooped up with the newlyweds."

  Fern took my coffee from me, glanced around the bus furtively, and slipped a silver flask from the inside pocket of his blazer. "This will take the edge off them, sweetie."

  I eyed his coffee cup. "Am I to assume you don't have coffee in your cup?"

  He gave me a scandalized look. "Of course I do. It's just Irish coffee." He winked at me as he poured a stream of amber liquid into my coffee. "When in Rome, you know."

  I took the augmented drink from him and took a tiny sip, flinching at the kick it now had. "This should do it."

  I sat back and closed my eyes as we drove out of the Dromoland estate, knowing we had about an hour on the highway until we reached Glenlo Abbey. I hadn't slept well the night before. Images of Colleen floating in the lily pads had haunted my dreams, and worry about Kate had made what sleep I had gotten fitful at best. I took another longer drink and let the warmth of the coffee and Irish whiskey relax me.

  I wasn't sure how long I'd been dozing when snatches of conversation pulled me out. I looked out the front window and saw that we were no longer on the highway. The road was now two lanes with tall trees on either side.

  "Of course Kate is being framed," Fern said. "Why would she have strangled Colleen with her own scarf?"

  "Why would I strangle Colleen in the first place?" Kate added.

  "Too true, sweetie," Fern said. "Too true."

  I rubbed my eyes as I sat up, elbowing Richard beside me. "How close are we?"

  "Close," he said. "You slept through the discussions of bangs and the Pantone color of the year. Believe me, you didn't miss a thing."

  I swiveled to see who Fern and Kate were talking to and saw that the perky bride and her nondescript yet smiley groom were leaning out into the aisle hanging on every word.

  "So someone stole your scarf and then killed a woman with it?" Grace's blue eyes were so big they seemed to take up most of her face. "Who would do such a thing?"

  "It couldn't have been anyone who knew her."

  I recognized Nancy's voice from the back and twisted to see her bright red hair popping into the aisle.

  "If you ask me," Nancy said. "There's a maniac on the loose."

  Murmurs passed through the bus.

  Fern sucked in his breath. "I hadn't even thought of that."

  "Why do you think I came today?" Nancy asked. "You wouldn't catch me wandering around the castle by myself. Not after poor Colleen. I don't blame her for being so jittery when we got to the castle. She told me she had an uneasy feeling."

  I thought back to talking to Colleen after we'd gotten off the b
us at Dromoland. She'd seemed nervous, but I hadn't know why.

  "Ghosts," Fern said and nudged Kate with a knowing nod of his head.

  I noticed that his voice was a bit slurred and made a mental note to confiscate his flask before he started seeing spirits floating through every castle we visited.

  "Maybe a maniac ghost," Kate said.

  Richard gave a derisive snort next to me.

  "You think her uneasy feeling had to do with a premonition she'd be murdered?" Grace asked.

  Nancy shrugged and her long crystal earrings brushed her shoulders. "All I know is she'd been acting odd all morning and talking nonsense. Some people are more attuned to energy than others. Colleen may have sensed something before it happened."

  The bus turned up a drive and we approached the dove-gray square building with an attached turreted tower. A wide staircase swept up the front of the building and a small fountain sat across from the entrance surrounded by tidy hedges and bursts of flowering shrubs.

  "It's pretty," Kate said, "but it looks small."

  I had to agree with her. Knowing our bride, she would prefer the flash of Dromoland Castle to the charm of a restored home with an attached abbey.

  "It extends further to the back," Richard said, craning his neck as we parked. "And the Orient Express Pullman carriages are off to one side."

  "The Orient Express?" Fern's voice was hushed as he stared at Richard. "As in 'Murder on the Orient Express?'"

  "As in the hotel acquired two of the original carriages and restored them so they now serve as a restaurant," Richard said, reading from his guidebook. "It would be a charming place for a rehearsal dinner."

  "If the couple was into history," Kate said. "Or trains. Or old mysteries."

  "Which they're not," I admitted.

  Fern clapped his hands together. "It would be the perfect place to stage Leatrice's murder mystery wedding." He saw me glaring at him, and his shoulders sagged. "If we were still doing that of course."

  "We're here for Halsey's wedding," I reminded him as I stood. "Not Leatrice's."

  "Do you think they serve afternoon tea?" Fern asked as I followed him down the stairs of the minibus. "After that drive, I'm starved."