Irish Aisle are Smiling

by Laura Durham

  She was looking wide-eyed at a what appeared to be a bridal party descending the staircase with the bride in front and several bridesmaids in lavender dresses holding her train. A cluster of children in white outfits brought up the rear.

  "It doesn't matter where we go," Kate muttered. "We are stalked by weddings."

  I fought the urge to straighten the bride's twisted veil as she and her party walked onto the terrace. "You don't think they're having the wedding there, do you?"

  Kate put a hand to her mouth. "If they are, it's going to be a challenge for Reese and Richard to stay there."

  I wondered what my boyfriend and best friend were doing now that a wedding had overrun their hiding place.

  Kate nudged me, pointing up at Fern. "And the hits keep coming."

  "Impossible," I whispered as I realized he was talking to the newlyweds from the plane who'd been showing up throughout our trip.

  "We may have been wrong about who smuggled the artifacts," Kate said. "It may not have been the old ladies at all."

  Our plan was unraveling fast. I wasn't sure if Reese and Richard were able to see what was going on anymore, and Fern wouldn't be able to distract Grace and Derek for much longer. I saw Derek look down, spot me, and nudge his wife.

  I grabbed the bag from the floor. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

  "What?" Kate said, slipping off the barstool to follow me. "I thought the plan was to wait here and then Reese would swoop in."

  I glanced back at the terrace as I darted across the landing toward the stairs. "I don't see Reese or Richard. If they can't see what's going on, that means we could be cornered by that bride and groom alone. We need to get out in the open."

  I hurried down the stairs and out the revolving door of the hotel with Kate close behind me. I looked right and left. No sign of Buster or Mack, and they usually weren't known for blending in with the scenery. Where were they?

  Kate gave me a little push from behind. "We have to keep moving. Derek and Grace are coming down the stairs after us."

  I took off down the sidewalk, the Louis Vuitton duffel hooked over my shoulder. I heard Kate's high-heeled boots clopping behind me, and I made a mental note to personally buy her a pair of flats and make her wear them.

  I paused at the crosswalk and Kate caught up to me. Glancing at the park across from us one way and the Grafton Street area to the other, I weighed which way to go until the walk signal flashed and the decision was made for me. We dashed toward the park, running along the sidewalk until we reached an entrance. I hoped Reese or Richard or Fern had seen us leave. I didn't have time to stop and call them.

  "This is pretty," Kate said as we walked along a path shaded by tall trees.

  I nodded as I headed further into St. Stephen's Green. I glanced behind me and didn't see anyone following us, so I slowed my pace.

  "Now what do we do?" Kate asked.

  "We need to circle back to the hotel," I said, as we came out into an open area with a small fountain. A slab of rock in the middle held a gunmetal gray stone statue of three cloaked people with water flowing out from under the slab.

  "And hope Grace and Derek are gone?" Kate asked.

  I peered around to the empty park benches and quiet pathway then walked behind the fountain that was bordered by a tall hedge. "We need to figure out how we could have been so wrong. I was positive one of the ladies from the genealogy tour was the smuggler and killer."

  "Well, you were half right."

  Kate and I both turned at the sound of the vaguely familiar Irish accent.

  Chapter 32

  "Seamus?" I asked, recognizing the bus driver for the old ladies. "What are you doing here?"

  Kate nodded her head toward the gun he was holding at us. "I think he may be more than just a bus driver, Annabelle."

  I pulled the bag closer to me. "You?"

  As I stared at the sandy-haired man, it all made sense. He'd been there when both Colleen and Nancy had been attacked, but we'd never considered him as a suspect. As the driver, he'd also overheard everything we'd said when we'd discussed the case on the bus, and he'd had access to all of our bags. It would have been easy for him to lift Kate's green scarf and take the luggage tag from Colleen's bag. And what better way to steal and smuggle things than to do it while driving a tour group around. Drivers--like many service providers--became invisible, which is probably why we'd never even considered him as a suspect.

  "But you're Irish," Kate said, her eyes not leaving the gun. "Why would you steal your own history?"

  "What good does a bunch of old metal stuff do me, eh?" he said. "But I can get a pretty penny if I sell it. More than I make driving Americans."

  "Okay, I get the money part," I said. "But why kill Colleen?"

  "That one was getting too nosy." He shifted from one foot to the other. "She opened the wrong bag and saw things. She even took a piece, and I think she was planning to show folks."

  "That's what she was going to ask me about," I said, remembered Colleen saying she needed to talk to me when we got off the bus at Dromoland. That also explained the brooch in her carry-on bag. "She had suspicions about you, but you overheard her."

  Kate put a hand to her throat. "Did you really strangle her?"

  He shook his head. "Wasn't me. I thought a good talking to would do her."

  I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye. "It was you, wasn't it?" I asked as Deb walked up behind the driver.

  Seamus jumped. "I didn't see yeh there. You put the heart crossways in me."

  "Her?" Kate waved a hand at the plump woman.

  “It had to be one of the women who wasn’t loaded,” I said. “One who would have only been able to afford a fake Louis. Reese told me Myrna and Betty Belle both had rich husbands. You’re one of the ones who didn’t, right?”

  "Give me the bag," Deb said, her tentative smile replaced by a steely glare.

  Kate gasped. "You strangled your friend?"

  "She wasn't my friend," Deb said. "I tried to get her to shut up, but she kept going on about seeing the valuables in the bag and recognizing them from a museum we'd visited. I knew she was going to ruin everything."

  "So you killed her." I took a step back and my shoulders brushed against the hedge. "But what's your connection to Seamus? Did you meet on your first trip to Ireland?"

  Seamus jerked his head in her direction. "She's me cousin. Found me the first time she came over with Myrna. Got me the job driving the bus for the next trip."

  "So the genealogy searches are legitimate," Kate said. "That's good to know."

  I took a step closer to Kate and further from Seamus and his gun. "Whose idea was it to start stealing antiquities? How does it work?" I cocked my head at Seamus. "You swipe them and she sells them back in the U.S.?"

  "I want that bag," Deb said through gritted teeth. "Hand it over, and he won't shoot you."

  I tightened my grip. The bag may have been stuffed with nothing but Fern's ample collection of tea towels, but I wanted to keep both of them talking. Once we relinquished our leverage, I wasn't sure what would happen. Plus, the longer they talked the greater the chance one of our friends would find us.

  I glanced over Seamus's shoulder, hoping to see Reese running up. No luck. For all I knew, he was back at the hotel being swarmed by bridesmaids with no clue we'd run out the front door.

  "It's just the two of you then?" I said. "None of the other ladies are involved? This wasn't all Myrna's idea?"

  "Myrna?" Deb said. "Why would she need the money? Her rich husbands drop dead as fast as she can marry them."

  "So this is about money for you too?" Kate asked. "I thought Fern said all you ladies were loaded."

  Deb's eyes narrowed. "All the others are. I'm the only one who isn't a wealthy widow."

  "So how did this all play out?" I asked. "How do you go from meeting a long-lost relative to starting a smuggling ring together?"

  Deb took a step toward us, and Kate and I both shuffled to the side. "Seamu
s has always been on the wrong side of the law. He confessed to me that he'd done some time for robbery around the same time I was going in all these small museums and manor houses. We got to talking one night over some pints and came up with the plan."

  "And it's been going fine and all until you showed up," Seamus said.

  "You consider killing one woman and bashing another over the head 'going fine?'" Kate asked.

  I steadied my gaze at Seamus. "You were the one who attacked Nancy, weren't you? It makes sense. Deb was with the other ladies having tea while you followed her down to the train car." I shook my head, partially disgusted with myself for not putting it together sooner. "You were the only one we didn't think about when gathering alibis."

  His cheeks flushed. "I didn't kill her, did I?"

  Deb swung her eyes to him. "No you didn't. And we don't know what she knows or who she plans to tell."

  "I'm surprised you didn't try to do her in at the hospital," I said to Deb.

  She gave a curt shake of her head. "Too many people everywhere."

  "That's comforting," Kate whispered to me. "Unlike now."

  I glanced around us. Kate was right. Our corner of St Stephen's Green seemed deserted. The darkening clouds overhead didn't help, and I expected anyone left in the park would soon be taking shelter. Our only hope was that the rainstorm might give us a chance to distract Seamus and Deb and escape.

  "Enough talk." Den stamped her foot. "Hand me that bag or my cousin here is going to shoot you both."

  I swallowed hard. Either he was going to shoot us after we handed over the bag or as soon as they realized the antiquities were no longer inside. I gave a final sweeping glance around me.

  "Fine." I started to extend my arm with the bag, but at the last second I tossed it into the fountain and pulled Kate with me behind the three stone figures.

  "Idiot girl," Deb screeched. "Shoot them!"

  I heard a gunshot hit stone, and Kate and I both ducked down.

  "He's actually shooting at us," Kate said.

  I tried to stay behind the three large stone figures as I watched Deb lean over into the fountain in an attempt to fish out the Louis Vuitton bag and Seamus tried to get us in his sights again. "I noticed."

  Thunder rumbled, shaking the ground, and I pulled Kate down onto the ground. Screams were followed by splashes as I looked up and saw Buster and Mack lumbering up and launching Seamus and Deb into the fountain headfirst.

  "That wasn't thunder," I said, watching Buster retrieve the gun from the fountain and point it at Seamus. "It was the Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers!"

  It wasn't their official name, but was something they liked to call themselves. Buster and Mack grinned when they heard it. If ever there were super hero florists, my big-hearted friends were it.

  Mack lifted the dripping wet designer bag from the water and leveled a finger at the drenched Deb as she rolled over in the fountain. "If I were you, I wouldn't move."

  As fat raindrops began to splatter on the pavement, I saw Richard and Reese running up with what looked like a group of unformed guards behind them.

  Reese didn't stop until he'd reached me, and he pulled me into a tight embrace then held me out at arm's length, looking me up and down. "Are you okay? We heard a gunshot."

  "I'm fine," I said, even though my heart was racing. "Where did you get all the backup?"

  "Kate sent us a group text when you left the hotel," he said. "Richard and I were looking for you when we saw a couple of guards on patrol."

  I turned to Kate. "You texted while we were running?"

  She shrugged. "I'm good at multi-tasking."

  "But you didn't say where you were going," Richard said, his voice higher than usual. "We were going crazy looking for you."

  "Well, one of us was closer to crazy than the other," Reese said so only I could hear him.

  Richard's attention went to the figures in the fountain. "What's the bus driver doing here?"

  "He's the thief and smuggler," I said. "Along with his cousin, Deb."

  "The mousy one?" Richard looked like he couldn't believe what we were saying. "They're behind everything?"

  "Deb killed Colleen and Seamus attacked Nancy," Kate said.

  "But I didn't kill her," Seamus called out from where he sat in the fountain.

  "You can't prove anything," Deb said as she and Seamus were hoisted out of the fountain by a pair of guards.

  Kate pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Sure we can. I recorded everything." She grinned at the youngest looking guard. "Give me your digits, and I'll send you the file."

  The rain continued to fall as the two were hauled away, and Reese pulled me close again. "I'm so relieved you're okay," he murmured into my ear.

  "Me too." I shivered even though his arms were warm, and I suspected it might be the shock from being held at gunpoint.

  "You're alive," Fern said as he ran up, his saffron kilt flapping open and flashing plenty of thigh. He leaned against Richard to catch his breath. "I got distracted by those newlyweds and then you were gone. I got Kate's text and then I heard a gunshot." He stifled a sob. "Who got shot?"

  Richard tried to extricate himself from Fern. "No one."

  "That's not exactly true," Mack said as he held up the soaking Louis Vuitton bag, which now sported a bullet hole in one side.

  "Louis!" Fern screamed and swooned against Richard, who buckled under the weight.

  "Maybe it can be repaired," Kate said. "I have an excellent leather repair man in Old Town."

  "It's vintage," Fern sniffled.

  Richard patted him brusquely on the back. "Maybe it's the universe telling you to treat yourself to a new bag."

  Fern perked up. "I like the way you think, sweetie. I have had my eye on the new black checkerboard duffels from the spring collection."

  "By the way," Reese said to Fern. "Who were those people you were talking to in the hotel?"

  "Grace and Derek?" Fern frowned. "Those newlyweds are on my list. I told them I was too busy to talk, but they wouldn't stop asking me questions."

  "Those are the newlyweds who've been following you?" Reese asked. "That's interesting."

  Kate held out her hands as the rain drops spilled through the canopy of leaves overhead. "Should we get back to the hotel before we're all soaked?"

  "We'd better hurry," Richard said, waving at Buster and Mack. "If all that leather shrinks, it could cut off their circulation."

  "No more casualties," I said, linking my hand with Reese's as we walked back through the park. "I'm ready for this to be a normal trip."

  Reese let out a breath and squeezed my hand. "I don't think I've ever been on a normal trip with you."

  "That makes two of us," Richard said.

  "I promise the rest of our time in Ireland will be completely uneventful," I said. "All two days of it."

  Richard gave me a side-eye glance. "When have I heard that before, darling?"

  Chapter 33

  "I feel like a new person," I said, walking arm-in-arm with Reese down the stairs of the Shelbourne Hotel the next day. "It's amazing what a good night's sleep and not being worried about a criminal on the loose will do for you."

  "I think we may have slept too well," Reese said, nuzzling my neck. "We missed breakfast. And lunch."

  "That's fine by me," I said. "This hotel is famous for its afternoon tea anyway."

  As we entered the foyer, I glanced over at The Lord Mayor's Lounge, bright and airy and filled with celadon-green and butter-yellow wingback chairs and curved high-backed settees. Tall windows looked out onto the sidewalk and chandeliers dripping with crystals hung from various points throughout the room. I noticed that it was set for tea and waiters moved from table to table pouring champagne and depositing silver tiered stands of tea sandwiches and confections. Flowery china cups clinked as they were set in saucers, and the air even held the scent of sugar.

  "Who's Fern sitting with?" Reese asked, peering across the room to where Fern appeared to be holdi
ng court at a round table set in front of a fireplace and tall gilded mirror.

  "That's the American genealogy tour group," I said. "What's left of them anyway."

  I noticed that steely-haired Myrna looked a bit shell-shocked, not surprising since she'd recently discovered that her right-hand woman had been using the tours to smuggle Irish antiquities out of the country. I imagined that was enough to ruffle even the staunchest of feathers.

  "At least Fern seems to be distracting them," Reese said.

  At that moment Fern said something that made the entire table break out in a cacophony of tittering. I noticed a few women blush and could easily imagine the stories Fern was telling. He was notorious for telling off-color jokes to loosen up bridal parties and keep brides from getting stressed, so I knew the tales he was telling the old ladies were probably not suitable for work and certainly not suitable for high tea.

  "Why don't I go check on him," I said, giving my boyfriend's hand a squeeze.

  Reese looked out the front of the hotel. "Sounds good. I actually see a couple of people I need to talk to."

  Before I could ask him who he knew in Dublin, he was out the revolving door. I made my way across the dining room to Fern's table.

  "Annabelle," he said when he saw me. "The ladies and I were just having a spot of tea while I told them about some of our wildest weddings. Pull up a chair, sweetie."

  "Reese and I are actually on our way out to do some site-seeing." I smiled at the ladies as Fern glanced at his watch. "But I wanted to come say goodbye in case I don't see you all before we leave tomorrow."

  Betty Belle stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. "It sure was a pleasure to meet you, sugar. And the girls and I can't thank you enough for finding out who killed Colleen."

  "And attacked Nancy," another said from the end of the table.

  "I'm not the least bit surprised," Betty Belle whispered in my ear. "That Deb was wound too tight if you ask me. She was bound to snap sometime."

  "I'm glad we got justice for Colleen," I said. "She seemed like a nice woman."