Darkroom Saga Omnibus 2
Page 8
Forcing me up, cupping my face in his hands, he looks perfectly diabolical when he murmurs, “I have rules. I'm devout, only biblical code is followed in my bed, in my sex life, in my house. Maybe we should do this at home?”
“That's just mean. You've made me desperate and now you're making me wait?”
“Oh baby, the flesh is weak even when the spirit is strong. I am your boss, your authority, trust me. This will take time. The wait is half the fun.”
A man enters the temple from the apse, breaking our intimacy by saying, “If you look up you will witness the ribs of the vaulted ceiling. The rib represents how woman is made from man, to be whole he needs her at his side, to be complete she has to join to his body, giving him access to his missing rib. When the two fuse as one, only then do either feel whole. She is covered by him the way this roof covers you. You are under him the way you are under this glorious ceiling. The imagery in the temple is artwork that surrounds you with biblical truth. She was made for Adam, not Adam for her. When a man tells you no, it's for your own guidance that he says it. He is your authority as Christ is the head of the church, trust him, he will not lead you astray.”
Mortified that we had a witness to our shenanigans, I adjust my skirt, looking guiltily at Kenan.
He gives me a reckless grin, teasing the dude, “Matt, don't you belong in the rectory?”
Laughing, he nudges his head toward the impressive bronze instrument against the wall at the back, “I was planning on my playing with my impressive organ.”
“Impressive huh? Last time I checked mine got played more than yours,” chuckles Kenan.
I can't believe these guys are having a dick measuring contest using innuendo.
The man with long hair strides closer, coming to claim my hands in his, saying with severity, “Welcome to our church. I look forward to seeing you worship with us.” Inclining his head to Kenan, he grins, “I'll see you at service?”
He nods, “That you will.”
Matt smiles at me when he pockets his hands, “What is your name?”
“Candace,” I smile, being polite, still mortified.
“I look forward to seeing more of you.”
As he walks away, I whisper to Kenan, “He seems friendly.”
“He is. You'll like him, he has much to teach, his wisdom is beyond reproach.” Looking down at me, his warm breath cascading into my cleavage, he murmurs, “Let's ditch this place, I'm ready to see more of you myself.”
~ Chapter 7 ~
And after You have punished me,
give me back my joy again.
~ Psalm 51:7
Candace:
It's with an enormous measure of apprehension that I walk into Sunday service with my new beau. The inner room of the church is like an old theatre, the seating cascading down in rows, the leg room in front of the long seats more than generous. It's also super quiet, the carpet of such deep pile that my heels sink in, the walls also carpeted, all sound absorbed and contained.
At least two hundred people are seated and waiting for the sermon, dressed normally. The men in trousers and shirt, the women in dresses and skirts, looking like upper echelon elite waiting to be freed to have brunch with champagne and oysters. Kenan leads me down to the very front row and I cringe at being under the evil eye for the whole sermon. He'll target me because I'm new here. I can't believe I'm going to church at all. How badly do I want to know Kenan? This is all a bit fanatical, and not in a healthy way.
While we wait the string quartet to the left play classical music. It's not quite the happy clapper contingent. Surveying them, it reminds me of them playing at the orgy from the other night. Maybe this will be the most impressive homily of my life.
Continuing surveillance I take in the box seats, the filigree and carved wood, everything unapologetically opulent and swanky. The drum roll gets my attention and I look back to the small stage with its podium, watching Matthew saunter onto the stage with his hands up, the horns on his head, his long hair shielding a bare chest from scrutiny. His microphone is a clip in his hair.
Ken gives my leg a squeeze and I smile tightly at him, wishing we were in bed, taking it easy.
“Sons of Cain!” projects Matthew, to the clapping of his appearance. “My flock, I have gathered you here today to remind you of Genesis. It is the source of our genes, hence it is called Genes-is. We became, we were created, and we were perfect!”
Someone at the back whistles and I spy cloaked patriarchs leaning forward in their balconies, elevated from the riffraff, sturdy arms folded on the heavy wood of their magnificent seating area.
Matthew swivels, pointing directly at me, “We have a new gift, she is confused, she is ashamed!”
I lurch down in my seat, wishing he'd piss off.
“Candace Caine, your name is fitting for our exclusive church. What makes us exclusive?”
I shrug, refusing to engage him, my cheeks hot with embarrassment.
Strutting back and forth, he shouts to his audience, “Adam and Eve were created naked. I remind you of Genesis 2; The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed.” Genesis 2:25.
Someone whoops approval but Matthew turns his beady eyes back on me, “They were not ashamed of it, Candace. Why not?”
Fuck off already.
Hating his attention I shrug again, giving Kenan the glance of imminent death.
“I'll tell you why! Then God said, "And now we will make human beings; they will be like us and resemble us… He created them male and female.” Genesis 1:26/7
Raising his hands to the loud applause, the crowd hush, and he stalks across his stage to look down at me, up close, “They will be like us, resemble us. Candace, that means you and me and everyone here today looks like God!” He holds up his hands to maintain silence so that they can hear him say into his microphone, directly to me, “They were created naked, our ways are his ways, we are like him in every way, resembling him, being like him as we're made in their image. Our likes and dislikes come from god. If you are ashamed of what you like then you are ashamed of god! There is no shame in wearing the body of god. Do not let my ears ever hear again that you were ashamed to be naked, or to witness others in this state of undress. Embrace it! Because even the scripture says Is it not written into your law, I said, you are gods.” John 10:34. “That's right! From the words of the savior himself, we are gods! You and me and everyone seated here is a god!”
Clapping drowns him out and he walks back to his podium, leaning on the curvature of the top, flexing arms that belong on a henchman, “Ladies and gentlemen, when God created men and women he gave them just one instruction. In the beginning when we were created there were no rules for us to live by bar one; Go forth and multiply. What does that mean? That means god told us to go out into the world in our glorious naked bodies and fornicate! To relish being like a god, with his likes and dislikes. He wanted us to copulate, to engage in coitus every day, to multiply. There was no shame in this, no fear, because we are just like god! We were naked, and we were created to fornicate! And god was so pleased that he saw that it was good! It is good!”
“Hallelujah!” shouts from the right.
“That's right folks, God is a naked fornicator! He likes it so much he made us for that express purpose, in his image, doing what he told us to, to go forth and fuck!”
A cat whistle inches up the rising fever in the patrons.
Arms back up as if accepting the Holy Spirit, Matthew bellows, “Sons of Cain, before sin, this is who we were. It's who we're meant to be! We go against God's direct order when we abstain, when we squash desire, when we are ashamed of it! Our sins are forgiven, so then why does every person out in this world not revert to the perfect state we were created in? Why is clothing mandatory at all if we serve god? Because they don't serve god! And if they do, by their actions they are condemned because they live according to the rules given to sinners, not to those absolved of all sin! The free man is naked! God made your body, t
hat is enough to clad your spirit! That is how he clothed us, with skin and bone! And those so called Christians dare to shame you for wearing the form god made for you, in his own image!”
With that last epiphany he turns to skewer me with his wicked smile, “That's right new girl. Do not be a sinner. Open your legs to god's mighty hand, to those made in his image, do as he commanded you do! Should you decline his order because of the ways of the sinners beyond our gates, you will be disciplined. Because only discipline will free you of the sin of refusing to engage in sexual communion! He told you to go forth and multiply! He told you that you were made for man, and yet you believe the liars! They are liars!”
“Amen!” shouts from the rear, with ten more approving whistles and claps.
I'm blushing so hard I feel like I slept with my cheek on the hot plate.
“It was on the good lord's command when they ravished the women in Zion and the virgins in the city of Judah! Lamentations 5:11. Ravished gentlemen! They ravished the women! Because we were not living the way we were created to live back in the beginning! Women were under the wrong impression of how we are meant to worship god! Fathers controlled the natural order of things in direct opposition to god's one and only command on the sixth day, the one and only command to us that he said was good! They were not performing their duty! So god bade men take it! God will force you to obey his order if you choose to deny his holy command! I remind you ladies that god made you with lasciviousness as part of your biology! You desire, your body leaks the juices of lubrication, you were made for pleasure with more sensation in your genitals than any man on earth will ever experience, because God made you that way! He made you horny! He said; In spite of this you will have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him, he will have dominion over you. Genesis 3:16. Desire ladies! It's biblical. God gave you desire for the form of a man. He made you want a man's touch on your breasts, on your skin, inside you! You desire us because you can't help it. You can't undo what god has done, so why would you hesitate to embrace it? Why do you let society tell you how to behave if you are gods? Their rules will not rescue your soul from the damnation of the afterlife! You must rebuke those sinners, those liars and their forked tongues, you must display your beautiful bodies to the glory of god, show him that you are proud to wear his form, the one he deigned was good, and you must indulge daily in his first command! Every day! Never allow sin to enter your life! Keep yourselves safe from judgement! The only way is to do what he saw was good! To join as one flesh, to go forth and multiply! If you are barren it matters not, it matters that you are trying body and soul to please god! He will see you, and he will smile because you are doing what is good in his eyes!”
Turning back to look at me, his smile is wide while he speaks into his microphone in the most seductive way, “Candace Caine, when a man does as god bade him do, as is his nature as god created him, and you, when you feel ashamed of the first commandment from the Creator, a man must purify you. Opening your legs for penetration does not make you dirty or defiled, that comes from your complete lack of understanding of the divine ways of our Supreme God. Being like those pretend devout out there who think sex is for sinners, those people are the sons of the devil! In the beginning we were created perfect and here we go back to that state of perfection. Here we are perfect because we are cleansed of sin! We are forgiven of all sin! Fucking and fornicating, touching and sucking, orgasm, climax, titillation, it is natural and god saw that it was good! We make love! He is the god of love, not the god of hate! He made us to go forth and make love! But you were ashamed, you were wrong, you were ashamed of god! You were ashamed of his image, as he created it, you were ashamed of the desire he planted inside you!”
The applause is so loud he waits, looking at his audience with an expression of mock despair, a wry smile twisting his mouth. When it dies down, he says to me, “I tried to purify you, you remained defiled. You will not be pure again until you have felt the full force of my anger. That is in Ezekiel. Now come up here darling, come up here and let me set things right in your soul, let me cleanse your spirit of this shame you have for your body and for our god.” Ezekiel 24:13
Looking at Kenan, clutching his hand with desperation, he has no mercy for me. In double time he stands, hoisting me over his shoulder and carrying me up onto the stage to Matthew. The fervent audience go berserk, the drum rolls, and the whistling and clapping is deafening.
Matthew laughs, saying into his clipped on microphone, into the din, “Calm down folks, it's her first time.”
Sitting on the edge of the stage he has Ken deposit me onto his legs, and both men hold me down. My skirt comes up, exposing my ass and undies to the entire church, and then I'm smacked so hard that my senses block out all stimulus but pain.
Looking at the patrons, the sea of them, I stare up under the shroud of humiliation to the upper balconies, all the men there standing as if to honor my degradation, their cloaks cast off revealing naked bodies standing as gods in the hierarchy of the church.
This is fucked up. I'm lifted and stood back onto my feet and Matthew puts an arm around my shoulders, yelling to his audience, “A round of approval for the lady. She is once again purged of her shame in the eyes of god!”
Clapping mocks my burning ears, my body blushing from head to thigh.
I'll never live this down. Ever.
“Thank you Candace Caine, thank you for accepting god back into your heart, into your soul, redeeming your afterlife in his eyes. Now folks, today's lesson on serving god is oral sex. Please remove the clothing obscuring your genitals. Let us worship our creator as he intended it be done!”
I want to run, but Kenan is holding onto me with such strength that my bruises are hurting, walking us back to our seats in the front row.
While everyone drops trou and underwear, Matthew continues preaching, “Those sinners out there, beyond our holy ground, they will try to warp your spirit with their lies. When they tell you that being naked is shameful, when they tell you premarital sex is a disgrace, they are liars! God didn't create man and woman on the sixth day and pronounce them married. He had no conditions for them at all, none whatsoever, but to go forth and copulate, to relish this task, to multiply and perform the only command his divine grace bade us do. He did not tell them on the sixth day that fornicating came with conditions, that sex meant purchasing a woman from her father, that she must cover her head, none of the commandments given to sinners applied to the perfect creation he sent into the world and commanded they engage in coitus so as to populate the world with the creation he made in his image, a creation made perfect, without flaw, our bodies and our desires, he said was good! Because we were made as carbon copies of the good lord Himself! We are exact replicas, in every way! The desire for sex is not a flaw, it is as He intended us to be! And so I remind you of the savior's words to these lying degenerates, He told them: You are the children of your father the devil, and you want to follow your father's desires. From the very beginning he was a murderer and has never been on the side of truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he is only doing what is natural to him, because he is a liar and the father of all lies. But I tell the truth, and that is why you do not believe me. If I tell the truth, then why do you not believe me? He who comes from God listens to God's words. You, however, are not from god, and that is why you will never listen. John 8 vs 44-47.”
Whistles of approval respond to his splab of scripture and I have to admit that I never thought I'd ever enter a church telling me to go forth and fuck.
Matthew yells over the cacophony, “I tell the truth, but those pretend churches out there, the ones that tell you of how all our sins are forgiven, why is it that they call us liars when they are the ones following the rules set out for sinners? When all we have done is revert to the state of perfection that God created on the sixth day? If every sin is absolved that means we are once again perfect! No longer do we require ten commandments or the myriad of laws to the
sinners of Leviticus and Deuteronomy, because we are free of shame! We are free of sin! And it is our duty to follow the first command! To go forth and multiply with our beautiful naked bodies, wherever we wish, in public, in church, at home, we shall strut and flaunt the fact that we are made in his infallible image! And like Adam and Eve we will not be embarrassed by mankind's distorted view of what God created perfect! Our nakedness shall not bring shame because we follow God, not man!”
Folding his jeans, Kenan is sitting next to me with his half erect penis lurching on his upper thigh, and I am so mortified to be here with an audience, my undies on the wide space between me and the next man. Why am I going along with this?
Because I don't want to have my tush spanked another ten times by the misogynist on stage, that's why.
Matthew smiles at me again, adding, “Candace, do you think god enjoys disciplining you? When he does, he counters it with joy. Psalm 51 says And after You have punished me, give me back my joy again. Rapture is a state of ecstasy, it is heaven on earth, it is paradise in your body, the one god created for you, your body so ripe with desire and therefore so desirous to those who gaze upon it in its natural state. Orgasm gives you rapture, today you spread your legs in this church not for the man doing god's work, following god's command, but for god himself. Today, my darling, god will deliver rapture to you, he will replace your pain with joy.”
Talking to me, looking down at me, his gaze scouring my legs and lady bits, it just makes me clamp my knees tighter together, stress making me hot and prickly.
He looks back at his patrons to shout, “So many are waiting for the rapture, so many deluded idiots are trawling the streets of our city, praying to god to take them in the hour of rapture, withholding sex as a form of punishment, debasing masturbation, disapproving of nudity and recreational coitus, condescending toward those who relish sexual intercourse and genital pleasure. No woman has the right to charge a man for what god created her to do because their payment is the rapture, the heaven on earth that only sexual climax can deliver! It is redemption! It is a blessing! It is sanctioned by the most high and that is why we call those devout cults masquerading as biblical, liars and cheats! The devil seeks to strip all joy from humanity, starting with the first commandment Go forth and multiply. Rub your breasts unashamed, feel the sensory receptors spear to life, ache for the suck of lips on tender flesh, relish the act of love because this is the one thing we will not let the devil corrupt! God planted desire inside you, he created your nervous system, he gave you a penis, a clitoris, sensory hot spots, and this is in His image! He created you to enjoy it, what feels good is the way god intended us to be, to indulge in pleasure, or else he would not have created us to feel such ecstasy! The devil is controlling the world, well he can't control what god made! He can't strip us of our sexuality, he has tried but has only succeeded in having those evildoers disparage you, he has only succeeded in making you ashamed for what god created, yourselves, your nakedness, your pleasure; he has made mankind ashamed of the command to go forth and multiply! Ashamed ladies and gentlemen! Today we spit in the devil's eye and we will worship and copulate, we will experience the rapture right here, today! We will indulge ourselves fully in the first command! We were created in god's image and told to have sex. How dare we not? We stand united against the devil, today we will enjoy and praise god with the first command!”