by Matthew Fish
The sun begins to rise and I see the drastic, desolate scenery around me. I can look for miles and miles and not even spot a single tree—I know soon that this will slowly turn to hills, then to mountains and trees—I am glad that I made the trip through Kansas at night. The flatness and endless stretches of it all leaves me feeling strange, empty in a way. I watch as the bright sun climbs into the sky. I can make off heavy smoke from what must be nearly fifty miles away. I pull off just before reaching Lamar and head north—I need to rest.
I manage through a series of rough, overgrown, country roads. Just the kind I feel most safe around. The dashboard comes to life without warning, startling me in my exhausted state.
A woman in plain clothes is reporting from a location I do not recognize. All I see is smoke in the background.
“As you can see, or… can’t see at this point—the incursion between the Aggros and the U.S. Military forces has come to an end. With a heavy toll to our military… I am hearing rumors that we are down to nearly a third of what we were at before the fighting started… this is all unconfirmed at the moment. What I do know is that the smell of dead Aggros fills the air and the fires make it almost un-breathable. Ash falls down from the sky at a constant rate, I’m not sure if this is human remains, or from the fires. Around the country riots continue as most of the blame for all of the incidents has fallen upon C-Shapes. The President has warned that drastic, and terrible, action will be taken if the riots do not stop. However, this threat goes ignored as the majority of the population believes that he has no power at this point to do anything. Between the rioting, looting, and Aggros, people are encouraged to stay indoors—to barricade themselves in for as long as possible until peace regains. From what I have seen so far, I do not know if we even have a capacity to do so,” the woman says as she looks around at the devastation that surrounds her. These newscasts are so much different than the C-Shapes ones, they almost seem… surreal, in a way. The lack a certain formality, but it doesn’t make it any less real—or in the moment.
The dashboard fades back to normal as I continue along the rough road.
“Where are we?” Claire asks groggily as she eyes the desolate landscape.
“Just got into Colorado,” I say as I look over and smile. “Did you sleep well?”
“All I do is sleep…” Claire says as she stretches out her arms and accidentally pushes against my face. “Sorry…”
I laugh in response. I find a nice remote spot next to the largest of a series of bodies of water that the map identifies as the Neenoshe Reservoir.
“Have you been driving all night?” Claire asks as she watches me rest my head against the circular headrest. “You must be exhausted.”
“Yeah,” I say as I nod. Although I do not know how I am going to sleep with it being so damn bright outside. “I just need a few hours, and then I’ll be ready to hit travel again… If I can sleep. It’s awful bright today.”
“Darken windows,” Claire commands. Moments later the windows slowly begin to darken. “Chairs back and together…”
“You never cease to amaze me,” I say as I smile. I can still make out her kind face in the dim light. Her beautiful smiling hazel eyes shine back at me in the filtered glow of the windows.
“I had a nice car,” Claire adds as she playfully pushes against my shoulder. “Rest…”
I lay on my back, staring up at the black ceiling. I am so tired, but my mind is still so awake—perhaps even a little traumatized. I don’t know. I look over to Claire; she looks back up at me, she looks sad. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” Claire says as she bites her lip. “You should rest.”
“You look sad,” I say as I pull her close to me and wrap my arms around her. “I can’t sleep when you’re sad… at least, not after what happened last time.”
“Do you think any differently of me?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, genuinely confused.
“I shot that man… and I didn’t feel bad about it,” Claire says as she grasps onto my hand and holds it tightly. “Then I… I brought trouble. They know when I’m around. Your friends are gone because they knew I was in that house—we’re connected.”
“None of that was your fault…” I begin.
“I look different too…” Claire adds as she runs her fingers through her hair. “I’m different. I’ll always be different…”
“All those things that you think make you so different… that make you think any less of yourself—I love. I wouldn’t want you to be normal. I love you just the way you are,” I say as I keep my gaze fixed upon her eyes. I realize that this is the first time that I have told someone that I loved them. I did not do it intentionally—it just happened. I suppose I’ve felt this way for some time now. I just never realized that she might need to hear it.
“You love me?”
“I do,” I say as I nod. “Unconditionally… no matter what happens to us or what you do.”
“It’s just that you haven’t…”
“I haven’t?”
“You know, we haven’t been together—I thought maybe you… felt differently.” Claire says as she looks away.
“I umm,” I begin, as I think back to the past few days. I can’t think of many opportunities that have arisen as to where we would have found time. “I thought you needed to get better—it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. That day in the bathtub…”
“I kind of ruined that though.”
“It’s okay,” I say as I reach down and kiss her lips.
“I do to,” Claire says as she begins to undress. “I love you… although you probably know.”
“It’s good to hear you say it,” I say as I toss my clothing into the backseat. “I didn’t want to just assume.”
Even though I am exhausted, we make love in the dimly lit car. We do not hide ourselves beneath blankets. We are bare to each other—we are open… freed. Each soft exhale of pleasure that passes through her lips makes me feel as though nothing in the world really matters—not even with everything that is going on. There is no world outside of the car—we might as well be floating in space, lost… forever. It would matter not a bit to me. Only this, us—joined and together, two pieces that make something beautiful and whole… this is all that matters.
“Rest now…” Claire whispers as her naked body lies against mine.
“No running off this time…” I say with a short, tired laugh.
“I promise,” Claire says as she squeezes both of my hands tightly into hers.
That day I dream of falling into the ocean, endlessly. I begin to struggle but I find myself unable to pull my head above the waves. Finally my arms give up—there is no strength left within me. I, strangely, do not drown. I float down to the bottom. There I see Noah, naked… not a completely pleasant sight. He is eating a starfish from the ocean floor. As he feels my presence, he turns to me and attempts to speak. Large bubbles escape from his mouth and float off into the surface. I shake my head—I cannot understand him. I suddenly hear his voice in my head. He simply says, “Deliver my message… save them.”
I jolt awake, startling Claire. I let out a heavy breath as my body is covered in sweat.
“Nightmares…?”
“Yeah…” I say as I reach for a half full bottle of water from the backseat of the car.
“I get them too,” Claire says as she nods. “Sometimes… I can’t remember them though—what was yours about?”
“It was a reminder for me to not fail…” I say as I look at the metal case in the backseat. I reach for the case. I examine it for a moment; however there seems to be no latch or way to open it. I flip it over a few times in my hands and see nothing outstanding that would help me reveal its contents. It would have been nice of Noah to at least tell me how to get it open. I slide my finger across the top and a display appears at the top. In red letters it flashes ‘not yet’ over and over.
“Not yet…” Claire whispers as she places her ar
m against my back.
“I wonder what that means…”
“…what that means…”
I figure that it must have some kind of GPS built in to know when it is somewhere safe, but how would it know any better? This could be a safe place—I could be giving it to someone important here… a remote location like this seems like it would be the safest place to open this. Part of me really wants to know what is inside—however, I know I must first get it to someone… the truth will come in time, right now my priority is figuring out how to get it to someone who will listen… maybe one of these new journalists? They do not seem to be under C-Shapes influence… after all, I imagine at this point C-Shapes all but completely gone. Once I get Claire safely back at her old home, I am sure that I can figure something out.
“Can we sleep in a house tonight?” Claire asks after a short time.
“Yeah, I can see what we can do about that,” I say with a nod. I take a look at the map and make it larger—I figure with it being around noon now… “We should be able to stop… well looks like there is an unpopulated area called Eagle’s Nest in New Mexico. Should be about five hours…”
“Good,” Claire says as she smiles. “We kind of smell bad, it’s like a fart box in here.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Clear windows?”
As commanded the tint slowly fades away. My eyes slowly adjust to the bright light of the noonday sun as I begin to drive once more. The hours pass by and the scenery dramatically changes. The desolate open plains turn into beautiful forests and rivers, large stones and tall mountains fill the view which in turn changes gradually into rock and dessert with large buttes in every direction. A tint of red fills the air as the dust flows heavily in the strong wind.
“This is pretty…” Claire says as she stares out the window.
The closer we get to Flagstaff, the more dramatically the scenery changes once more. We begin to ascend tall mountains. It is much colder here. I never imagined that the country should change so quickly… so dramatically and beautifully. There is a certain grace to the way that the forests give way to deserts which flow into tall mountains. I definitely feel a world away from Chicago—most of the area around where I grew up was just plain flat—sure there was the occasional rolling hill or forest, but nothing so spectacular, nothing on this scale.
After we take a few country roads that keep us well north of Flagstaff, we reach a small area called Eagle’s Nest. Against the striking view of the mountains I find an old log cabin. I pull into the empty driveway and head towards the back of the house—It seems empty from the outside… a good indication so far. I put the car into park and take a look around the area… it looks abandoned. I see no signs of any kind of life. It is much colder here… I return to the trunk of the car and retrieve my camouflaged jacket and the backpack full of supplies. Claire hops out, she rushes over beside me and pulls out her suitcase. She grabs a yellow sweater with a white collar and pulls it over her white t-shirt. For once I cannot make a single mental comment about her brining fall clothes along.
“We must be pretty high up,” I say as I sling the rifle against my back. I let out a sharp cry as it hits a sore spot where I hit the wall from my encounter with that Aggro that Claire managed to subdue.
“You alright…?”
“Yeah… damaged, just not broken,” I say as I grab a grocery bag full of soup cans and self heating meals. I don’t know if this place will have power or any kind of provisions.
Claire and I make our way to the back of the house. An old yellow door with heavy dog scratches on the bottom stands before us. I lead the way and give the knob a turn—it is unlocked. I am not sure if I count this as lucky or not. As we entered the large cabin, I begin to walk through the kitchen—it leads to a larger room with a loft.
I hear the metallic click of a gun being cocked.
“If you come here to rob me, well there isn’t anything to take,” A man with a deep voice says from the corner of the room. “If you come for trouble, I got plenty of that to give.”
“We are just travelers, looking for a place to stay,” I say as I raise my hands.
“We’re looking for a shower…” Claire adds softly from behind me.
“You have any food?” The man asks as he lowers his weapon. I look over to the man who sits in a rocking chair. He has a pistol in his lap and is wearing brown and black military fatigues. He has an assault rifle sitting beside him like an obedient dog. He looks older, I would guess in his late fifties. He has a bald, clean shaven head and dark skin.
“Yeah,” I say carefully make my way to the man and hand him the bag of groceries. It is no loss to give it to him—we have more than enough to last us for weeks in the car. “Are you in the military?”
“Was…” The man says as he rummages through the bag. “Honorably Discharged from the war in Iraq… post traumatic stress disorder, depression, general anxiety disorder… I’m not one of those Unstables—but I’m just like them in a way… came up here to escape the hell that has become Flagstaff. Figured the uniform and this assault rifle I picked up here from a dead serviceman might keep me safe. Or at least, keep people intimidated.”
“It definitely it intimidating…” I say as I nod.
“Definitely intimidating…” Cherie says as she nods.
“I can have some of this?” The man asks as he looks to me with a strangely stern look upon his face.
“Can have some of this…”
“You can take the whole bag if you like,” I say as I nod.
“Whole bag if you like…”
I take Claire’s hand into mine and squeeze it. Now is not exactly a good time to do this—I know that she has no control over it… however, the timing sucks.
In return, she squeezes my hand just as hard. I suppose I deserved it.
“Why is she doing that?”
“Doing that?”
“She’s one of those… Mirrors isn’t she?” The man says as he continues to go through the different items of food.
“One… of those… Mirrors isn’t she?”
He does not seem very interested as he picks up one of the self heating meals. “Been a long time since I had anything decent… I brought some food up with me, thought I could do some hunting but haven’t been able to catch anything.”
“Haven’t been able to catch… anything…”
“She’ll stop if we don’t talk for a while,” I say as I allow Claire to hide behind me.
“Talk for a while…” She whispers as she places her arms around me.
“I’ll just eat then,” the man says as he nods. “…if you don’t mind?”
“Don’t mind…?” Cherie whispers.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
The man takes opens up the bag and finds the spoon. He places the pasta into his mouth and a smile spreads across his face as he quietly eats. He quickly finishes that one off and tears into another one—he seems elated. I begin to wonder how long he has been without a meal.
“I don’t mind,” the man says as he looks past me. “You don’t have to hide.”
“We’re just not used to… people being very understanding of our situation… exactly,” I say as I still remain a little apprehensive.
“Hell,” the man says he shakes his head. “I’m probably more messed up than she is. I spent years hiding in my house—sometimes I’d hear loud noises at night and I’d hide under my bed with my pistol in hand. Sometimes you go through some shit and it sticks with you—and this was all before V-day. I’m a bit more capable now. I guess my mind has switched back into soldier mode… keeping alive, survival. It keeps the mind busy, sharpened.”
“I’m Claire,” she whispers as she reaches from behind me and extends her hand to the rather intimidating man. “I repeat things… I get stuck in loops and my memory hurts.”
“It’s nice to meet you Claire,” the man says as he shakes her hand. “Robert Lemon.”
“Like the fruit?”
; “Yeah,” The man adds with a short laugh. “I suppose so. Or maybe the fruit is like me—all bitter and a little yellow.”
“But you’re black,” Claire says.
I shake my head as I introduce myself, “Ethan…”
“Robert,” the man repeats as he shakes my hand firmly. “You’re a normal right?”
“I suppose so,” I say as I nod. “I used to be her Sitter.” I figure there is no point in attempting to hide who we are anymore—after all, I’m sure the Hunters and what, if anything, left of C-Shapes have much more pressing matters. “Now I’m…”
“We’re in love,” Claire adds as she smiles happily.
“Well that’s a first,” Robert Lemon says as he shrugs. “Whatever you’re into man… I once dated this chick when I got back, crazy as shit. Great in bed, but… couldn’t keep that up. Thought she’d knife me in my sleep or something…”
“She’s a lot more normal than…”
“I know, Mirrors…” Robert says he laughs. “I’m just fucking with ya. But what an interesting pair you two make. Where are you headed?”
“Somewhere safe,” Claire adds.
“Don’t know if there’s anywhere like that anymore,” Robert says as he shakes his head and places his pistol back into his holster. “What is your plan?”
“Claire has a secure house—only her family can enter and she’s the last of her family. Should be stocked up and it should be a place where I can take care of her.”
“And take care of our mission,” Claire adds.
I squeeze Claire’s hand. I feel as though I’ve given away too much already. We do not know if we can trust this man—he might be doing all this as an act.
“What’s your mission?”
“I had a friend,” I begin, despite my trepidations. “He said that C-Shapes was causing Unstables to go Aggro on purpose—to keep the population in fear so they’d keep buying Calm. Of course there would be the random Aggro, sometimes they just go… but anyway, he had this conspiracy idea that this cure—was eventually going to kill all the Unstables because everyone was getting tired of paying.”
“Sounds like more than just a theory…” Robert says as he takes a moment to take it all in. “You saw what they did to the White House? It’s gone… I hear the president is trapped beneath the rubble in some kind of shelter and he’s going slowly insane himself. C-Shapes, that place is gone as well. Someone made them all go Aggro at once on purpose—it seemed like a pretty surgical strike to me.”
