The Purity Myth

by Jessica Valenti

  genitals:

  Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity (Jensen):

  Ginsburg, Justice Ruth Bader:

  girlhood: commodifying sex in; fame during; as ideal of “sexy”; as innocence; sexuality as external to

  girlifying women:

  Girls, Inc.:

  Girls as Grantmakers:

  Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS):

  Girls Gone Mild: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It’s Not Bad to Be Good (Shalit):

  Girls Gone Wild:

  Gloudemans, Kimberley:

  Goldberg, Bill:

  Goldstein, Jacob:

  “gonzo” porn:

  Gransinger, Dan:

  Greer, Germaine:

  Grossman, Miriam:

  Guttmacher Institute:

  Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men (Kimmel):

  H

  Hager, Dr. W. David:

  Halloween costumes:

  harassment, sexual:

  Healthy Marriage Initiative:

  Henry, Senator Doug:

  Heritage Community Services:

  Herman, Judith Lewis:

  Hernandez, Cassandra:

  high heels, infant:

  “The High Cost of Manliness” (Jensen):

  Hoffman, Claire:

  homosexuality:

  hooks, bell:

  hormones:

  How To Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale (Jameson):

  HPV:

  HPV vaccine:

  Huber, Valerie:

  Huckabee, Mike:

  Hyde Amendment:

  hymens:

  hypersexualization: addressing; feminists against; underlying motivators of; vs. virginity fetish; of women of color; of young girls

  I

  iDollators:

  impotence, male:

  inaction. See passivity

  incest:

  “indecent acts”:

  independent thinking:

  Independent Women’s Forum:

  “informed consent” laws:

  innocence: ethnicizing; HPV vaccine as attacking; in trafficked girls; valorizing

  Institute for Women’s Policy Research:

  intellect, undermining women’s:

  Internet, the: celebrity on; feminist pro-sex sites; as forum for progress ; as harassment forum; networking on; porn revenue

  In These Times (Chaudhry):

  in vitro fertilization:

  J K

  Jameson, Jenna:

  Jensen, Robert:

  Jesella, Kara:

  Kempner, Martha:

  Keroack, Eric:

  Kimmel, Michael:

  Kipnis, Laura:

  L

  Lakoff, George:

  Landry, Megan:

  Lars and the Real Girl:

  LaRue, Jan:

  Laslocky, Meghan:

  Lauer, Matt:

  Legal Momentum:

  legislation, affecting:

  LeMahieu, Dan:

  lesbianism:

  Levy, Ariel:

  Liebau, Carolyn Platt:

  Life International:

  Lindberg, Laura:

  Littlejohn, Darryl:

  Lloyd, Rachel:

  local organizing:

  The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It (Durham):

  Lolita (Nabokov):

  love:

  love dolls:

  Lovelace, Linda:

  Love Matters:

  M

  MacDonald, Heather:

  magazines, progressive:

  Maher, Bill:

  Maher, Bridget:

  male ownership: abstinence education as furthering; legislated; of Miss USA winners; modern symbolic ; vs. purity; in purity balls; of women’s sexual commodity

  Males, Michael:

  male youth, misinformed:

  Mangum, Crystal:

  Mansfield, Harvey:

  marriage: bride prices; defined ; as goal of virginity movement; limiting reproductive technology to ; promotion programs; sexual pleasure in; socially regressive messages on; as solution to poverty

  Marriage Savers:

  Martin, Courtney:

  masculinity:; aggression as justified by; femiphobia ; maintaining traditional- ; in the media; vs. passive female sexuality; re-thinking; social equality as attacking; women as measurement of

  McEwan, Melissa:

  McKnight, Regina:

  media, the: blame of rape victims; as forum for progress; gender stereotyping; “girls gone wild” trends in; normalization of rape; positive coverage of women; progressive ; reality TV; sexualization in

  Medical Institute:

  menstruation:

  mental health:

  MILF (mom’d like to fuck) trend:

  Millar, Thomas Macauley:

  Milwaukee’s Best:

  miscarriages:

  misogyny: in the abortion debate; cultural disdain for the feminine; in marriage promotion programs; online; in porn; purity myth as tied to; in the virginity movement

  Miss America pageant:

  Miss Nevada USA:

  Miss USA:

  Modesty Zone:

  morality: ethical; feminism as harming; of health care workers ; men’s vs. women’s; of passivity ; paternal; vs. practicality; reclaiming; as sexually dependent; virginity as defining ; women-as-child

  morning-after:

  The Morning After: Fear, Sex, and Feminism (Roiphe):

  Moss, Carl:

  motherhood:

  N

  Nabokov, Vladimir:

  Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing In on Internet Sexploitation (Ray):

  “Naked Without Shame” (hooks):

  Napoli, Bill:

  NARAL Pro-Choice America:

  Nation:

  National Abstinence Education Association (NAEA):

  National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum:

  National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

  National Coalition of Women and Girls in Education:

  National Council for Research on Women:

  National Indian Women’s Health Resource Center:

  National Institute for Reproductive Health:

  National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health:

  National Network to End Domestic Violence:

  National Partnership for Women & Families:

  National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

  National Women’s Political Caucus:

  New Moon Media:

  NOW:

  O P

  objectifying women:

  obscenity laws:

  orgasm:

  orlistat:

  oxytocin hormone:

  Page, Cristina:

  Paltrow, Lynn:

  parental notification laws:

  parents: fathers as purity protectors ; idealization of chastity; male ownership among; pressure by

  Parents for Truth:

  Park, David Alex:

  Parker, Kathleen:

  passivity: fetishizing; love dolls as symbols of; and male potency; morality of; as represented in youth

  paternalism:

  paternity:

  pathologizing women:

  patriarchy:

  Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine:

  pedophiles:

  peer pressure:

  Pemberton, Laura:

  Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters (Martin):

  pharmacists, coercion by:

  Phillips, Kristin:

  “Picture Perfect” (Rushkoff):

  Plan B:

  Planned Parenthood:

  plastic surgery, vaginal:

  Playboy:

  pleasure: absent from virginity movement ; exempt from vaginal rejuvenation ; as a man’s domain; separating sex from; taboo of

  Poe, Edgar Allen:

  politics: of abstinence-only education- ; affecting; of commercial porn; conservati
ve, in schools; denied to women; gender stereotyping in; legislating reproductive rights ; paternalistic; science as serving; separation of church and state; sex as affecting; of virginity fetish; virginity movement in

  Pollitt, Kathy:

  pop culture: abstinence morality in; sexualization of; virginity trend in

  The Porning of America (Sarracino and Scott):

  pornography:; activism against- ; commodifying; as debasing; feminism and; modern exaggeration of; outside male control; outside the status quo; re-thinking ; sales statistics; as skewing “normal”; virginal

  Posey, Julie:

  poverty:

  power:

  pregnancy: coercion; criminalizing ; crisis centers; fetal rights; misinformation on; as personal choice ; pro-lifers on; requiring ultrasounds for; and secondary virginity; socio-economic factors ; statistics

  pressure: parental; peer

  pro-life movement:

  The Pro-Life Activist’s Encyclopedia:

  promiscuity: HPV vaccine as prompting ; media reports of; pathologizing; Plan B as prompting

  prostitution:

  Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Hurts Young Women (and America, Too!) (Liebau):

  public sphere harassment:

  “Pure Fashion” shows:

  Pure Love (Evert):

  “Pure Love Promise”:

  purity: as brainless; connections with porn; fathers’ protection of daughters’; feminism as lacking ; vs. hypersexualization; innate ; legislating; as misogynistic myth; and normalization of rape; as powerless; in secondary virginity; veneration of; via virginity; women of color as denied

  purity balls:

  Pussycat Dolls:

  Q R

  queer sexuality:

  questions for discussion:

  radical feminism:

  rape: date; defined by Senator Henry (D-TN); denial of victim’s rights- ; by Girls Gone Wild crew; “gray”; as innate to masculinity ; legislating; omission of term; proving pregnancy from ; shaming of victims; unrapeability ; victims as blamed for ; women’s equality as blamed for

  Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network:

  raunch culture:

  raves:

  Ray, Audacia:

  Real Dolls:

  Real Hot:

  “reality” porn:

  Rees, Katie:

  Reid, Sergeant Ronald:

  religion:

  reproductive rights, protecting:

  reproductive technology:

  R H Reality Check:

  Riley, Naomi Schaefer:

  riot grrrls:

  Rodriguez, Susan:

  Roe. Wade:

  Roiphe, Katie:

  Rubenstein, Andrea:

  Rushkoff, Douglas:

  S

  Safe Horizon:

  Salon.com:

  Sarracino, Carmine:

  Save the Males: Why Men Matter, Why Women Should Care (Parker):

  “saving” yourself:

  schools: conservative politics in; hypersexualization of girls at; salacious media reports on; see also education

  science, politicized:

  Scott, Kevin:

  Seaman, Barrett:

  secondary virginity:

  Seipel, Emily:

  self-definition, sex-based:

  Serano, Julia:

  sex: anal; commodifying ; as a deliberate choice; and depression; difficulty defining ; as “dirty”; with dolls ; as draining oxytocin; drive, as male; Plan B as encouraging; pleasure as removed from; premarital, damage done by ; statistics; teaching a healthy relationship to; trusting young people with; under women’s control

  Sex Has a Price Tag (Stenzel):

  sexism. See misogyny

  Sex Respect:

  sex toys:

  sex trafficking:

  sexual abuse. See abuse, sexual

  sexuality: and depression; as external to women; fathers’ obsession with daughters’; feminism as attacking traditional female; as gift to be saved ; as innate; legislating control of; LGBTQ; male vs. female ; morality as conflated with ; naturalizing; non-ownership of; pathologizing; punishing female; realistic reporting on youth ; for sale; self-worth as based in; as tied to youth ; virginity loss as defining; young vs. mature

  Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS):

  sexualization: of celebrities; defined; in purity balls; of rape victims- ; as tool of the virginity movement; of young women

  Shalit, Wendy:

  shame: abandoning bodily; vs. chastity ; as mark of women of color; misinformation via; pornography and ; of sexuality; of womanhood

  Sheen, Charlie:

  Sierra, Kathy:

  Simpson, Jessica:

  SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Health Network:

  sluts: as derisive label; feminism as producing; media reports of

  SMUT:

  Smuts, Barbara:

  Snickers:

  social value:

  society:

  Society of Adolescent Medicine:

  socio-economics, pregnancy and:

  South Dakota:

  $PREAD:

  Spears, Britney:

  Stanek, Jill:

  Stenberg. Carhart:

  Stenzel, Pam:

  Stepp, Laura Sessions:

  St. Guillen, Imette:

  STIs (sexually transmitted infections): as dating danger; HPV; misinformation on; statistics

  Stoesz, Sara:

  strength:

  submission, female:

  Suhl, Sean:

  Suicide Girls:

  “supermodels,” child:

  Swartz, Shauna:

  Szyszyka, Ms.:

  T

  Take Issue, Take Charge:

  Tapia, Cassandra:

  Target:

  teenage girls: abstinence education targeted to; choices of; denied Plan B ; depression in; desire in; early menstruation; ethnic disparity in STIs; mental health statistics; sex statistics for; sexuality as outside control of; as trusted with sex

  Tequila, Tila:

  Tesco:

  The American Prospect (Blustain):

  The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On (Eden):

  trafficking, human:

  Trafficking Victims Protection Act:

  True Life:

  Trump, Donald:

  Tullis, Wesley:

  Turner, Janice:

  U V

  Ultrasound Informed Consent Act (2007):

  ultrasounds, requiring:

  Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both (Stepp):

  Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness in Her Profession Endangers Every Student (Grossman):

  Unruh, Leslee:

  vaginal rejuvenation:

  Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute:

  The Vagina Monologues:

  value:

  victims, women as:

  Victoria’s Secret:

  violence against women. See abuse, sexual

  virginity: commodifying; difficulty defining; doing away with myth of; history of; hymens as proof of; loss; as a moral stance ; pledges; in politics; in pop culture; vaginal rejuvenation for ; see also purity balls

  Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (Carpenter):

  virginity movement: antifeminism in- ; anti-obscenity work; damage done by; defined; denial of pleasure in; ethnicity of; feminist rhetoric as used by; focus on young girls ; gender roles as defined by; “ideal” woman as defined by; leaders of; lesbianism as absent from; paternalism in; pathologizing sex; on porn; reaction to this book; resources of; sexualization by; traditional gender roles as heart of

  Virginity Vouchers:

  virgins: “desirable”; as ethnically white; as female; as powerless

  Virgin: The Untouched History (Blank):

  virgin/whore dichotomy: concurrent themes in; damage done by; “empowerment” rhetoric as reinforcin
g 51; no gray area in; and normalization of rape; promotion of

  W X Y Z

  Wagoner, James:

  Warner, Judith:

  Washington, Darren:

  Waxman, Representative Henry:

  wealth:

  Webb, Joanne:

  welfare recipients:

  Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (Serano):

  White House Project:

  Why kNOw:

  Wilka, Tim:

  Wilson, Pastor Randy:

  WIMNs Voices:

  The Wimp Factor: Gender Gaps, Holy Wars, and the Politics of Anxious Masculinity (Ducat):

  Wired:

  Wolf, Naomi:

  Woman: An Intimate Geography (Angier):

  women: pathologizing the body of; as property; statistics on single; trusting; virgins as

  women of color: disparity in STIs among ; hypersexualization of; “innocence” as absent for; as not “rapeable”; trusting; violence against

  women’s rights: feminism as serving; protecting reproductive; rolling back reproductive; virginity movement attacks on

  Women’s Right to Know laws:

  Women’s Sports Foundation:

  Women’s Voices, Women Vote:

  Wood, Susan:

  work, as discouraged for married women:

  World Congress of Sexology (17th):

  worth, sex-based:

  Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape (Millar):

  Younger Women’s Task Force:

  youth obsession:

  YouTube:

  acknowledgments

  Writing this book would have been impossible without the support of many people, but the biggest thanks go to my partner, Andrew Golis—thank you for believing that I can do anything, and for gently stopping me when I try to do everything.

  My parents, Phil and Nancy, and my sister, Vanessa, have been a source of constant encouragement and inspiration. You’ve made everything I do possible, and I’ll be forever grateful. I love you all.

  Thanks to my friends who continue to surprise and challenge me every day: Gwen Beetham, Ann Friedman, Courtney Martin, Kate Mogulescu, Samhita Mukhopadhyay, and Miriam Perez.

  I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the readers of Feministing.com. I may not know you all by name, but knowing that you’re there—having amazing conversations in the comments section, blogging, or even just reading quietly at your computers—makes me happy every day. Thank you.

  And lastly, thank you to Seal Press—especially to my editor and friend Brooke Warner—for believing in me from the beginning. Your continued support means the world to me.