Notes on His Pillow

by Diana Currie

  Adam's body is lean and muscular; even more arousing than my imagination could dream up. His hair is mussed up from my hands and he's breathing heavier than normal. His hands move to cover my breasts and my head tilts back, pushing them further into his grasp. A sexy growl escapes Adam's lips and it draws my eyes back to his. The expression on his face is hard to read; I've never seen him look so intense and worked up before. His hands run down my torso settling on my hips. I smile up at him so he knows I approve of his actions. I know he needs the reassurance. Adam's fingers explore me gently and lovingly as I reach up to do the same with him.

  "God, Amanda," he moans when my right hand reaches out to touch his erection. His head falls back in pleasure and before I can even bask in my ability to affect him so much he's covered my body with his again and is nudging my legs apart with his knees. "You ready for me, baby?"

  I lean up and kiss his lips. "Yes."

  Adam kisses me passionately, his hand running up and down my side. He searches the bedding for the condom and rips the package open impatiently. I watch in fascination as he rolls it over his length. He really is too beautiful for words. I feel so happy to be here with him right now. Adam kisses me again and presses his forehead against mine as I raise my hands to entwine my fingers in his soft blonde hair.

  His eyes stay locked on mine as our bodies connect for the first time. Sex is not a new concept for me, but somehow this time feels different. I have never been cared for so thoroughly before this night. Adam is so attuned to my body, knowing just how much I can take without causing discomfort. We moan at the same time when his hand skims along by backside and he hitches my leg up around his waist.

  We move together, kissing and touching, until our movements reach a frantic pace. I find that Adam is a gentleman even during sex; holding back his own release until he succeeds in giving me pleasure first. My fingers tighten in his hair as we fall apart together, moaning and panting as the waves of climax wash over us.

  He collapses on me and I rub his back lovingly. "I'm in awe of you, Amanda," Adam says sleepily while kissing my neck and cheek repeatedly.

  I smile at his words and pull his lips to mine once more. "And I you."

  Chapter Twenty One: Talking It Out

  "Wake up, Adam."

  "Hrrummm. Still dark," Adam mutters.

  "No, it's seven o'clock. The curtains are still drawn. We're in Statesboro, remember?" I say in a calm soothing voice, although I'm feeling anything but calm.

  While I had a wonderful time with Adam last night, it is now morning and the afterglow of orgasm has worn off. I need to get back to Swainsboro to get myself cleaned up before Tommy brings the kids home. I brought nothing with me here; no toothbrush, no hairbrush, not even clean panties. Tommy is expecting a talk when he comes over today and I have a lot to tell him. If that isn't enough I need to stop by the B&B and check on the guests.

  I shake Adam again trying to rouse him. I would never have taken Adam to be a lousy morning person. It's kind of adorable. "Come on, Adam! We need to get home," I try again.

  Finally he looks up at me. I'm wrapped in one of the white bed sheets and staring at him slightly frantic. "You're still naked," is all he replies.

  I roll my eyes at him and then inspiration hits. "I want to coax you out of the bed as soon as possible, sleepy head. Come shower with me?" I am nervous as I ask this, having never asked a man into the shower with me before. Tommy used to join me occasionally back when times were good between us but it had always been his idea.

  Adam smiles sleepily and says, "I want to make love to you again first."

  "Did you bring another condom?" I ask pushing some hair off his forehead as he frowns.

  "No, I only had one."

  Secretly, I'm pleased. I'd love nothing more than to stay in this hotel room all day and make love with Adam but I am far too practical for such things. "Shower it is then," I say decisively swatting his cute naked butt before getting up to start the water running.

  Adam is amazing in bed and even more so in shower. He selflessly lets me hog most of the spray and control the water temperature. He busies himself washing my hair and soaping up my back for me, though he gets distracted easily by kissing each new patch of my cleaned skin. I do the same for him except for the hair part. He’s too tall. I just stare in awe as he lathers up his hair and washes the shampoo out in what feels like a very sexual manner. I suspect he is trying to seduce me and it almost works but we have already spent so much time kissing and touching in the shower already.

  We dry off quickly and redress in our clothes from the day before. I can't stand wearing dirty panties and choose to go it commando back to Swainsboro. Adam, of course, takes note of this decision. "Do you have any idea how sexy that is?" he asks.

  I smile sweetly, "Sexy? Is it as sexy as your scruffy face?"

  Adam rubs his stubbly chin and cheek assessing their condition. "There's no razor here. I'll have to shave when we get back."

  "Give me another day to enjoy it before you do," I reply.

  "You like it, do you Miss Sommerer?" Adam asks closing the distance between us and pulling me in close against him.

  "Yes, I like seeing you with a little scruff," I confirm reaching my hand up to caress his face. "It reminds me of the night you checked into the B&B."

  "You remember that? I was a mess from the long flight and hadn't shaved in days."

  "Mmm, I remember."

  Adam smiles as if that knowledge pleases him greatly. He swoops me off the ground, twirling me around in his arms, and places one hand firmly on my exposed behind to support my weight. I moan in his ear and kiss his prickly cheeks over and over. His playfulness makes me feel lighthearted in a way I haven't in years. My insides begin burning for him once again and I struggle to get my priorities straight. We'll have time for more of this later. Right now I need to get home to Tyler and Gabby.

  After Adam drops me off at home I have just enough time to change my clothes, eat a breakfast of oatmeal and cut fruit, and run over to the B&B for a few minutes before Tommy returns to my house with the kids. It is a dramatic mood shift to switch over from the fun I'd been having with Adam this morning to a serious conversation with Tommy. It almost feels like I am two different people.

  When Tyler hops out of Tommy's car and runs to give me a hug I transition seamlessly back into being Mom. It feels like much longer than one day that we've been separated. Gabby is close behind him and nearly knocks me over with the force as she flings her little body into my open arms.

  I invite Tommy into the house and both the kids are smiling to see Daddy coming inside. Depending on how our talk goes I might ask him to stay for a while longer to make them happy, but it always worries me that when I do things like that it's planting false hope in their little hearts. Especially with the subject matter we'll be discussing the likelihood those hopes will ever be fulfilled are increasingly slim.

  I send the kids upstairs to unpack their overnight bags and Tommy can tell I'm purposely getting them out of the room. "So what did you have to talk to me about, Mandy?"

  "Um, maybe we should sit," I say gesturing to the kitchen table. Tommy's expression changes from merely curious to worried.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing is wrong," I say quickly. "I wanted to make you aware of the fact that I've met someone. It's very new, but I feel like it's your right to know that I've started dating someone."

  "If it's my right to know then shouldn't I get the name too? Who is it?"

  "You're right, you deserve to know who's spending time with your kids. So I'll tell you who I'm dating, after you tell me who you're dating."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I know you're seeing someone, Tommy. It's okay. My only concern is how the kids will handle it. So who is it?"

  Tommy shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "I don't know where you got your information from, Mandy, but it's not what you think. And I really don't like talking about this."

  "You think I
do? Look, I don't care if you want to talk about this or not. We have to be honest with each other especially when it involves Tyler and Gabby."

  "I understand that but we need to keep all this between the two of us. You know the town will talk. Let's just keep our private lives private so it doesn't affect Ty and Gabby more than it has to."

  "Fine," I say reluctantly. "But I still want a name." Tommy stares at me from across the table and I can tell he's deliberating in his mind. Who could this woman be? He's acting so secretive I can only imagine it's someone I know. "Why are you so afraid to tell me? Is it one of the kids' teachers? The paralegal from the law office? Who?"

  "Don't freak out," he says rolling his eyes. "Two weeks ago Nikki had a big fight with her dad and he cut her off financially. She wanted to move out of his house so I said she could stay with me for a while."

  "Nikki!"

  "Yes, our friend Nikki. What was I supposed to do, let her live on the streets?"

  “Why didn’t she ask to stay with Samantha?”

  “I don’t think Sam’s husband wanted her there,” he says.

  "Maybe it's time she found a job! I think Mr. Simpson is probably doing what's best for her. The mayor would never let his daughter be homeless. He's not that cruel, and he'd never want the town to think he could do such a thing."

  "She was really upset and said you and Rebecca barely ever talk to her anymore. She needed a friend."

  "So is that all it is, or are you sleeping with her?"

  Tommy blushes and casts his eyes down to the table between us. "Once. But we're not really dating. It's complicated."

  I am overwhelmed with information. Nikki seems to have never gotten over her high school crush on Tommy. Now I wonder if Tommy ever felt the same way about her back then. She's probably been waiting all these years hoping that our marriage would fail. Another horrible thought pops into my head. "Was she at your apartment every time the kids slept over there the past two weeks?"

  "She slept on the couch. They already know who she is, Mandy. They don't suspect anything is going on because there's really nothing to see."

  "Are you really that naive? She has always liked you. I wouldn't put it past her to fight with her dad just to have an excuse to move in with you."

  "She hasn't moved in with me, she's just staying with me. And Nikki is not that manipulative."

  "Then why did you sleep with her?"

  "I’m weak. It's been a long time, Mandy," he says defensively.

  I huff; offended that he is implying I didn't satisfy him during our marriage. My brief affair with Brett is testament that I wasn't being fulfilled back then either, but that is the last thing I want to tell Tommy about right now.

  "I think we need to agree not to hold hands or kiss anyone in front of the kids until we've decided to explain things to them. We continue to tell them that Nikki is your "friend" like you have been. There's no reason to tell them anything until one of us is in a serious relationship."

  "Agreed. So are you going to tell me who your 'friend' is now?"

  I smile reluctantly. "I've been on a few dates and have recently gotten very close to Adam."

  "Who?"

  "Adam Brickman, he's the new pediatrician."

  "That guy who lives at the B&B?" Tommy asks incredulously.

  "Yes. Does that bother you?"

  Tommy shrugs. "I just find it interesting that you're so worried about Nikki being at my apartment when you've obviously been spending time with Adam in front of the kids too."

  "Because that's where I work and he is living there. I've never treated him any differently than the other guests in front of the kids."

  "Fine. Fine. So we're both sort of seeing other people," Tommy says holding his hands up defensively. "We're moving on."

  I look into his eyes for a moment trying to figure out what he's thinking. Tommy's tone suggests indifference but I think I know better than that. "Yeah, it seems that way," I reply softly.

  "Good. Okay, well if that is all you wanted to discuss then I'm going to get down to the store. We're hiring a few new associates and I need to do interviews," he says standing up to leave.

  "Hey, maybe you should hire Nikki. Finally force her into the workforce. Make her earn her keep at your apartment."

  Tommy laughs. "She doesn't know the first thing about inventory, food preparation, or bookkeeping.”

  “She could stock the shelves, or ring the register,” I joked.

  “Yeah, that’s happening,” he replies sarcastically. “I'm better off keeping her as far away from the store as possible. Making me dinners every night is enough."

  My forehead crinkles; off put by that thought. "She cooks for you?"

  "Yeah. It's been nice not eating take out every night anymore. What? Don't give me that look. You cook for Adam every night, I know you do."

  "You know that's different. Is what she makes you even edible?" I ask honestly curious.

  "I've had better," Tommy replies quietly, looking me in the eyes. "Tell the kids I said goodbye. I'll pick them up Wednesday after work." He walks to the front door and lets himself out without looking back. I'm glad that he doesn't, because as soon as he's gone I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

  A few hours later Tyler and Gabby are getting on my nerves. I started a load of wash and as a team effort we cleaned both their rooms. They are eager to get out of the house and play for a while so after lunch I agree to take them to the playground down the street past the B&B. Tyler rides his bicycle with training wheels and Gabby has a Barbie tricycle with a white basket on the front. We stay at the playground for a long time.

  There are a few other kids there and I chat with their moms while the children play tag and other games. I try to suggest they play Red Rover or Duck Duck Goose but all the other kids want to play is something call Ga Ga. At first I worry they’re talking about the pop singer but then realize it’s a ball game. A twelve year old on the playground actually laughs and calls me old school. At twenty four years old I’m already behind the times; using the phrase “well, when I was a kid…” It freaks me out a little.

  A few minutes before five o'clock I round my kids up so we can go over to the B&B. I need to make dinner for the guests and then we can go home again. Adam is in the living room when we arrive and looks surprised to see us. The two businessmen are not downstairs but I am assuming they are not working given that it is Sunday evening.

  Seeing Adam's smiling face makes me want to go over and hug him, maybe even kiss him hello. Tommy's words from this morning echo in my head and I'm careful not to get too close to Adam. I think he understands because when the kids aren't looking he winks at me.

  "What a pleasant surprise seeing you guys today. What have you been doing with your mom?" Adam asks them.

  Tyler is excited that Adam wants to hear about their day. "Daddy came in the house today. Mommy made us clean our rooms and eat turkey sandwiches for lunch. Then we rode bikes to the playground!"

  "Yeah," Gabby adds, "I went down the slide, and did the big girls' swing, and played 'your it'."

  "It's called freeze tag, Gabby," Tyler corrects her.

  She sticks her tongue out in response and climbs into Adam's lap. "What did you do Dr. Adam?"

  "I didn't have any boo boos to fix today so I went to visit my mom and I helped her mow the lawn and weed her garden. Do you like to help your mom around the house?"

  Adam seems comfortable with the kids so I go into the kitchen to start dinner. I'll make enough food for all three guests even if the others' aren't home. I know Sarah's is closed Sunday nights so unless they plan to eat at the diner there aren't many other options. I listen to Adam chatting with the kids in the background as I cook and I can't help but think to myself how reassuring it is to know they like him. They may not feel the same way if and when we tell them Adam is mommy's boyfriend, but until that time it's nice to know they get along. I've always worried about how difficult it would be to find someone that I love in this small t
own but also someone who would love my family as much as he does me. Adam has never once given me the impression that my children would be a burden to our relationship and that's one of the things I cherish about him.

  Josh and Steve return to the B&B fifteen minutes before dinner is served. I keep the kids company in the living room as they eat dinner on TV trays while the guests eat in the dining room. I listen attentively to Adam as he makes small talk with the other men. Eavesdropping, I learn Josh and Steve are in town to talk to some investors interested in building a Target in Savannah. The possibility is exciting to me since the closest Target store is in Columbia, which is two hours away. Savannah has a Wal-Mart and this new superstore would be a direct competitor.

  After dinner Adam helps me wash dishes again and this time I don't fight him. I know he's offering as a boyfriend and not a house guest. I learned from taking care of my dad for years that you don't refuse a man's help too many times or they will stop offering, and then refuse to help when you do ask. I've always appreciated Adam's willingness to help me out and after sleeping together it doesn't feel as strange accepting the help. A lot has changed between us in the last twenty four hours and I wish we had time alone to talk about it all.

  Josh and Steve both retire to their rooms and shut their doors by eight o'clock. I feel bad, thinking it might be because there’s a five year old and three year old dominating the only other comfortable living space in the house. It's time to get Tyler and Gabby home soon anyway to get ready for bed but surprisingly they don't want to go home yet.

  "We want to stay with Adam, Mommy," Gabby insists. "He's all alone."

  "No he's not; Mr. Olwen and Mr. Stevens are here too."

  "But they won't play with him. They're asleep," Gabby insists.

  "What do you want to do then?" I ask smiling.

  "Watch a movie!" Tyler suggests.

  I glance over at Adam who is smiling and nodding his head like one of the kids. Okay, so I suppose Dr. Adam agrees that he would be awfully lonely without us. I smile and roll my eyes at him. "Okay, but I know you two are going to fall asleep. So I'm going to get toothbrushes from downstairs and you both have to brush your teeth and wash hands and faces if we're staying here for a movie."