The Last Wife
Page 31
Forty-Two
So much makes sense now. Nina tried desperately to cling to the respectability of normality, hide behind society’s cruelly deceptive structures. Foundations can be ripped away. Marriage, mortgages, children. No matter how much she clung to the rules, she couldn’t shake off her guilt.
Strangely (or not?), Stuart and I get along well at times. When he’s a caring dad, when he and I have to make joint decisions for the benefit of our family, I can mentally push away the downsides. We ebb and flow, a perpetual work in progress involving endless compromises. Just like a real marriage, I guess.
Despite my own deliberate yet subtle targeting of Stuart, and his of me, I really can’t see how it could’ve worked out any other way. Did Nina deliberately plant the idea in his head? Mine, too? We’ll never know, and I’m surprisingly all right with that. Perhaps it was her way of protecting her children. On some level, I can now understand. I do honestly believe that Nina would approve of most of my actions.
I may have taken over Nina’s life, but in doing so, I’ve fulfilled my main promise to her: to protect her family. Because there was one thing that Nina knew she could rely on: my loyalty, however misplaced. Yet she was right to trust me, at the time.
Nina wanted Stuart to concentrate solely on the children for as long as possible.
Stuart means well, but if he makes noises about selling, Marie, move in! Make a mess to put off any potential buyers, get the kids on board, they’ll love it!
I smile at the memory.
I’ve had to make up my own version of what really happened on that fateful boat trip. I like and choose to believe that Camilla probably made a bitchy comment about me and it awoke some kind of buried loyalty in Charlie, which is then what motivated him to turn on her while they were on the boat. Nina knew how guilty I felt about Charlie and how I held my drunken jealousy (however provoked) partly responsible for the path that ultimately led to his death. I’d told him that he wasn’t good enough for me or whatever I could think of in my rage that would hurt him as much as possible. Nina heard every vicious word, knew how shameful my last words to him had made me feel, yet she never gave me even a hint that I wasn’t to blame for what happened. In her blind confidence of me in the end, Nina overlooked the fact that everyone has a breaking point.
Yet, still my feelings toward her ebb and flow. Affection, resentment, love, hate. But, right now, strangely, I miss her more than ever.
Four months later...
I retrace Nina’s footsteps for one of the last ever times. Winter cold clings to my coat as I walk round the garden with my camera, the strap slung around my neck. Goldie is sniffing and exploring. Jack is asleep in his buggy. I take photos of him, of Goldie, of the grounds. I snap the final pictures, memories for the children.
“Say goodbye to this place,” I say out loud. “We’re moving to a much better home.”
We are. It’s a cottage with a thatched roof and a smaller, more manageable garden filled with rhododendrons. It’s not so far away, Deborah can still visit. We’ll be away from the bad memories, as well as Tamsin and her constant comments:
Did you really not suspect a thing, Marie? I’ve never known a murderer before. I wouldn’t admit this to just anyone, but it’s really quite morbidly exciting! Not for Greg, obviously, that’s just awful. She pulled a sad face. Do you know I’ve had offers to sell my story? I’ve said no, of course, but when you think about it, she just used to sit there, in our book group as if butter wouldn’t melt!
If only she knew...
* * *
We are still awaiting Camilla’s trial.
Stuart stuck to his word. So far, he has been utterly convincing as my alibi. I’ll give him that.
I’ve promised Camilla that I will look after Louise to the utmost of my ability, despite her threats to drag me down, too, until I reminded her of our conversation, that she is the one with a violent history, not me.
It’s a shame I don’t know where she hid the knife. She’ll never tell me now.
“I’ll love Louise as my own,” I said. “She’ll want for nothing. I’ll treat her as if she was the daughter Charlie and I would’ve had.”
She gave me a strange look when I said that. I think it was then that the penny really dropped, that she knew or suspected what I’d done, but visiting hours came to an end. She had to return to her cell.
Really, what did she expect me to do? I’ll have to watch my back if and when she’s released. I can’t erase the look on her face during the moments she stabbed Greg or forget what she did to Charlie when he rejected her. Her ex in Canada had a lucky escape, it seems to me.
* * *
I walk around to the front of the house and lift Jack out of his buggy. Goldie barges ahead, pushing the front door open. I survey the empty rooms, full of cardboard boxes. Stuart took a lot of persuading to put the house on the market but eventually agreed to the ever-hopeful fresh start we all crave and need to believe exists.
All the boxes are, of course, labeled. Inside one marked Louise’s Bedroom is a gift, a framed picture. It is of me, Charlie and Camilla. I now have the power to reveal his true identity. I won’t be cruel, I won’t completely destroy the tale Camilla spun about her father: a whirlwind holiday romance. However, I can take charge of the narrative now.
I hear tires on the gravel. Still holding my precious Jack tightly, I open the door.
A woman in a trouser suit emerges from a black Audi.
“Mrs. Thompson?” she calls out.
“Please, call me Marie,” I call back. “You must be Jennifer, from the real estate agency?”
“Yes.”
I watch as she walks toward the entrance gate and replaces the For Sale sign with a Sold one.
* * *
Nina was right to rely on my loyalty because I never let her down. I promised her three things: I swore that I’d look out for her family and however possible, sabotage any new relationships and ensure that Stuart held on to their family home.
But I have no qualms about breaking one of my promises and selling the house—it’s just not the one I thought I’d break. After all, the house was her dream, not mine. I’m entitled to something of my own. This is my story now.
* * *
Acknowledgments
As always, there are many people to thank. I’m very fortunate to have the support and encouragement of my brilliant agent, Sophie Lambert. Her patience, insight and wisdom are limitless. The same can be said of the wonderful Wildfire team: Alex Clarke, Kate Stephenson and Ella Gordon; and at Graydon House, Brittany Lavery and the team in North America. Definitely included in this list are Hillary Jacobsen at ICM, Katie Greenstreet and Emma Finn. Grateful thanks also go to the wider teams at C&W Agency: Jake Smith Bosanquet, Kate Burton, Alexander Cochran and Matilda Ayris. Also to Dorcas Rogers and Tracy England for all their help. I appreciate your tireless hard work, dedication and passion. An enormous amount of teamwork goes into publishing a book, and I am grateful to everyone, including eagle-eyed copy editors Julia Bruce and Chris Wolfgang, and proofreaders Sarah Bance and Terra Arnone. Huge thanks to the fantastic team at Headline: Rosie Margesson, Jo Liddiard, Siobhan Hooper, Tina Paul and Rebecca Bader. And to the fantastic team at HarperCollins Canada: Leo MacDonald, Karen Ma, Cory Beatty and Kaitlyn Vincent.
Thanks are extended to the wider writing community: booksellers, librarians, readers, bloggers, reviewers, authors. Thank you for being so generous with your time. Thanks to my writing friends: my fabulous Faber group (five years since we first met!) and to the Ladykillers for the support and many laughs. Thank you to all the readers from around the world who take the time to get in touch.
A huge thank-you to Nicci Cloke (Phoebe Locke) for her patience, kind support and for the endless tech help (especially the time I sent photos of my laptop in a panic!). Thanks also to Nicci for introducing me to Arabel Charlaff, a psychotherapist wh
o offers a service called Characters on the Couch. The therapy scenes in this book are partly a result of attending psychotherapy sessions in character and attending Arabel’s course at the Faber Academy. Thank you to Arabel for taking the time to answer my questions. Huge thanks also to Amanda Reynolds for all your help (another excellent listening ear).
Some more thank-yous: Graham for your photography advice and Susan for answering dog-related questions (and Amanda, too). To my mum and in-laws and to my wonderfully kind friends who helped out during the summer holidays childcare-wise: Henri, Lindsay and Nicolette.
A mention and hello to my local book group: Danielle, Jemma, Jo, Linda, Lindsay, Steph and Vicki.
A friend of mine, Sharon, wanted “to be in the book,” so her name features as part of the novel’s book club.
To all my friends who make me laugh and spread the word, too many to list individually, I want you to know that I appreciate it. I hope I tell you.
Thank you, of course, to my mum, dad and sister, my in-laws, and my wider extended family. Finally, thank you to my husband and sons, who have to live in the same house as me when I’m in my own thoughts and inhabiting a different world. Their love and pride in what I do mean everything.
The
LAST
WIFE
KAREN HAMILTON
Reader’s Guide
Questions for Discussion
What did you make of Marie? Hero, victim or villain? Or somewhere in between? Did you have sympathy for her? Why or why not?
Marie and Nina both keep secrets from each other—with disastrous results. Think of a time you kept a secret from a friend. How did it impact your relationship?
Many people have ambivalent feelings about family. Why do you think Marie feels so trapped by how her relationship with Stuart has unfolded?
This novel takes place in a small village, and everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. What is the role of community in this novel?
Think of a time you wanted something very badly. How did it make you feel, and how did it affect your life?
Do you think that Nina was right to keep the truth about Charlie from Marie? Why or why not?
Reflect on Marie’s career as a photographer. At the beginning of the story, she says, “The camera does lie.” What does this mean, and how does this sentiment play into the story?
Marie is desperate for children of her own, and this desire drives her to extreme ends. Can you think of other stories in which the desire for children and/or family leads someone to disregard their own moral compass?
What do you make of Camilla’s decision to return to the UK? Do you think she made the right decision? Why or why not?
How does envy function in this story?
ISBN-13: 9781488034978
The Last Wife
Copyright © 2020 by Karen Hamilton
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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