The Moment She Left

by Susan Lewis

Stroking her hair, Andee said, ‘This is the girl I know and love.’

  ‘Is there anything I can do?’ Alayna offered. ‘I’d like to help if I can.’

  Surprised, and touched, Andee was about to let her down gently when she suddenly realised that actually there was something Alayna could do.

  Chapter Twelve

  It was Friday morning just after nine o’clock, and Rowzee was checking she’d packed everything she needed for her trip to Devon as she took a call from Jilly. ‘It’s very kind of you to offer me an appointment today,’ she was saying chattily, ‘but I’m afraid I have something important to do.’

  ‘But this is important,’ Jilly scolded. ‘We have to talk about radiotherapy . . .’

  ‘We will,’ Rowzee promised, ‘just not today.’

  ‘Then when?’

  ‘I’ll call you early next week to see when you can fit me in, but my position hasn’t changed. I still don’t want it.’

  ‘Why don’t you just let me tell you more about it?’

  ‘I already know, and I don’t want it.’

  Apparently deciding to park that for the moment, Jilly said, ‘How are you getting along with the dexamethasone? Please tell me you’re taking it.’

  ‘I am, and I’m happy to report that it seems to be working. I woke up without a headache this morning, and I didn’t feel nauseous or dizzy either.’ This was true, and she couldn’t feel more relieved.

  ‘That’s good, but remember, it’s a steroid so you won’t be able to stay on it for long. However, it’ll be even more effective if you combine it with radiotherapy.’

  ‘Do you have the certificate for me yet? The one I need for the doctors in Switzerland.’

  ‘I’ve discussed it with Mr Mervin and he’d like to see you.’

  Having expected as much, Rowzee said, ‘OK, but I hope you told him that my mind is made up.’

  ‘I did, and I don’t think he’s intending to try and change it. He just wants to be sure you’ve thought everything through. He’ll also want you to discuss it with your family. Have you given any more thought to that?’

  ‘Of course, but I’m afraid my position hasn’t changed on that either. I’m very sorry, Jilly, but I have to go now. I promise to call next week,’ and replacing the receiver she went to make sure that what she’d heard was Andee arriving early, and not Pamela returning for something she’d forgotten.

  Seeing it was Pamela she braced herself, just in case their earlier discussion still wasn’t over.

  ‘I can’t let you do this on your own,’ Pamela declared the instant she came through the door. ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t.’

  Getting slightly muddled by her recent conversation with Jilly, Rowzee said, ‘How on earth did you find out? Who told you?’

  Startled, Pamela replied, ‘You did, last night. For heaven’s sake, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already. We were only discussing it ten minutes ago.’

  Quickly catching up, Rowzee said, ‘I really don’t need you to come with me. Andee’s going to be there, and I keep telling you, Jason is the sweetest young lad, and I have a feeling his nan is the same.’

  ‘It’s so typical of you to say that, but I’m not a pushover like you. They’re after something . . .’

  ‘Please don’t let’s keep arguing about this. Even if they are, I’ll be able to make a decision . . .’

  ‘I don’t want you making any decisions while you’re there, do you hear me? You’re to come back and discuss them with me and Graeme first, and if that dreadful beast who claims to be Victor’s son – the monster who put Victor in a hospital bed – as much as looks at you funny you’re to get Andee to flatten him with one of her police moves.’

  Breaking into a laugh, Rowzee said, ‘I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t told you . . .’

  ‘You didn’t until it was forced out of you. I still can’t believe you’d keep something like that to yourself. Not to tell me, your own sister . . . That man should have been prosecuted for what he did and I’d have made sure he was if I’d known. So would Graeme.’

  ‘Which was why we didn’t tell you. He’s Victor’s son for heaven’s sake. Now, if you don’t mind, Andee’ll be here any minute and I need to be ready.’

  Grabbing her suddenly, Pamela smothered her in a bruising embrace.

  Rowzee gasped, trying to get some air. ‘What was that for?’ she demanded when Pamela, just as abruptly, let her go.

  ‘I’m trying to let you know how much you mean to me,’ Pamela told her, this rare confession of feeling making it hard for her to meet Rowzee’s eyes. ‘I want to be there for you, but I understand that all three of us can’t go in, so I’m happy for Andee to go in my place. She’ll be less likely to say something offensive.’

  Rowzee blinked in amazement. ‘You? Say something offensive?’ she repeated, seemingly aghast. ‘That would never happen.’

  ‘I know you’re mocking me, but I mean it, I don’t want to do anything to ruin this for you, just in case the boy’s on the level, but I don’t want you taken advantage of either.’

  Smiling, Rowzee drew her back into a gentler embrace. ‘I promise to call as soon as I have some news,’ she told her.

  ‘Good. What time do you expect to be back?’

  ‘I’m not sure because Andee’s arranged to see Jenny Leonard while we’re down that way, and we might drop in on Gina Stamfield as well.’

  ‘Sounds like a busy day. Are you sure you’re up to all this gallivanting about? You know you haven’t been yourself . . .’

  ‘I’m perfectly fine, thank you, it’s only you who thinks I’m not. Now, please stop worrying about me and go and do whatever you’re supposed to be doing. You’re looking very nice again, by the way.’

  Enjoying the compliment, Pamela said, ‘I’m told if you look nice on the outside it’ll make you feel nice on the inside.’

  Rowzee frowned. ‘Isn’t that supposed to be the other way round?’

  Pamela shrugged.

  Deciding that in some instances it could work either way, Rowzee said, ‘That sounds like Andee arriving. Quickly, before she comes in, do you think there might be something between her and Graeme? I hope there is, but I can’t quite tell.’

  ‘Stop being such a matchmaker,’ Pamela chided. ‘First me, now Graeme. What’s wrong with us being single?’

  ‘Nothing, if it’s how you want to be, but I don’t think it is. Are you still Internet dating?’

  ‘I told you, I never was, but I’m almost ready to divulge what I have been doing. In fact, I’d hoped you might have noticed a bit more than you have by now, because I’m told I’m making great strides.’

  Left to stare after her as she swept back down the hall, Rowzee racked her brains to think of what she might have noticed a little bit of, but not enough to have come to a conclusion. Apart from how well Pamela was dressing . . . Was she studying for some sort of fashion diploma? It must have something to do with beauty because her hair was looking good too, and her make-up, though still a little sloppy in places, was definitely improving.

  ‘Andee,’ she said, brightening as Pamela stood aside to let Andee through. ‘I’m all ready, so unless you’d like some coffee first we can go.’

  ‘Perhaps we can stop on the way,’ Andee suggested.

  ‘Please take care of her,’ Pamela said as she walked out with them, ‘and make sure she doesn’t do anything rash.’

  ‘You’re the one,’ Rowzee reminded her, ‘that wants Andee to flatten people with her police moves. Now, please mind your own business and go and say hello to your boyfriend.’

  Startled, Pamela looked round as Bill Simmonds slowed up in his truck. ‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ she muttered, waving him on. He gave a jaunty wave back and continued to wait, so with an exaggerated sigh Pamela stalked towards him.

  ‘Yet,’ Rowzee said quietly behind her.

  In no time at all Rowzee and Andee were driving across the heart of the moor, lapping up the mid-morning sunshine as they passe
d Dunkery Beacon, with the picturesque village of Luccombe glistening enticingly at its feet. Very soon they were at Webbers Post, where the school’s natural science teachers often brought young students to begin their treasure-filled nature trails. It was also where Rowzee used to park her ‘drama wheels’ as the students called her department bus, when they’d come to gain inspiration for a particular piece, or to search out venues to stage A Midsummer Night’s Dream or a passion play. Thrilling to the memories of the visits, Rowzee described them to Andee, her heart swelling with remembered pride and excitement as if they were happening right now. Along with the kids she’d loved every aspect of the wildlife, from rabbits and squirrels to hares, hedgehogs and mice – to the wild ponies, and more elusive red deer and wild boar. Of course, being the rascals they were the children had pounced on any exotic-looking fungi they could find, wanting to know if it was poisonous and if so could they test it out on some of the less popular members of staff.

  ‘I remember roaming about the moor with Victor during spring.’ Rowzee smiled wistfully as they travelled on through endless hectares of wilderness and woodland. ‘We’d wade through seas of bluebells, the like of which I’m sure you’d never find anywhere else. He was a big nature-lover. He used to find coming here very inspiring. He’d write for hours as soon as we got home, even if the story had nothing to do with what he’d seen.’

  With a smile, Andee said, ‘You still miss him?’

  ‘Oh, of course. It hasn’t been so long, and besides I think I always will. He and I were soulmates, you see, so I have no problem believing he’ll be waiting for me on the other side when the time comes.’ Her throat dried as she thought of how soon that might be, and if she really believed it would happen. ‘We’re meant to be together,’ she said softly, ‘and every time I come up on to the moor I feel it more deeply than ever.’

  Glancing at her fondly, Andee said, ‘How did the two of you meet?’

  Brightening, Rowzee said, ‘We were introduced during an anti-apartheid march back in the seventies. He was at Bath uni, I was at Bristol and busloads of us descended on London one weekend to make our voices heard. We had a fine time of our courtship after that, I can tell you, going back and forth between those two beautiful cities, although Bristol’s Waterfront hadn’t been developed back then so it definitely wasn’t the trendy place it’s turned into now. The uni, of course, has always been one of the top in the country, which reminds me, how is Alayna?’

  ‘Actually,’ Andee replied, ‘she seems OK. We had a chat yesterday, and now she’s helping me with something, so I think we might have turned a corner.’

  ‘Oh dear, does that mean you were having difficulties?’

  ‘A few.’

  Reminded of Andee’s broken marriage, Rowzee said, very gently, ‘I don’t want to pry, but I’m guessing she’s taking your break-up with her father quite hard?’

  Andee nodded. ‘To be honest, I thought she’d be so wrapped up in student life and her own plans for the summer that she’d hardly concern herself with what was going on at home, which just goes to show how naïve, or even delusional I was.’

  ‘It could very easily have happened that way, you can never tell with children. Just a thought, do you know if everything was good for her before she came home? Any boyfriend problems, or uncertainties about her course?’

  Andee frowned. ‘What on earth are you going to think of me when I confess that I haven’t asked? To be honest, it never even crossed my mind that she might be trying to deal with her own issues. So the situation between her father and me could be making everything worse?’

  ‘I’m not saying that’s the case, but from what I remember of Alayna she’s a very sensitive and compassionate girl, so it’s possible she needed to pour a few things out to you when she came back and then got angry because she didn’t have your full attention.’

  Andee glanced over at her. ‘Why didn’t I see it like that?’

  Rowzee smiled. ‘The bigger picture is often much easier to see from the outside.’

  Shaking her head, Andee said, ‘It’s no wonder all your students loved you. You’re easy to talk to and wise and wonderful . . .’

  Rowzee gave a shout of laughter. ‘Believe me, I’m as capable of getting things wrong as anyone else, and my darling sister would greatly enjoy telling you that if she were here.’

  ‘You’re very close, you two,’ Andee smiled.

  ‘Yes, we are, and sometimes I wonder if a little too close. I worry that I’m holding her back, stopping her from getting on with her life because she feels she has to take care of me. She likes to have someone to take care of, you see, it gives her an excuse to avoid looking at the things that are missing in her life.’

  ‘You think things are missing?’

  ‘Well, let’s just say that she’s never met that one special person who recognises just how very special she is. She hides who she really is behind her bossy, overbearing personality, when in actual fact she’s as kind and loyal and loving as anyone I’ve ever known. OK, I’m her sister, so I’m biased, but I know her better than anyone, so I know I’m right. The trouble is, ever since Victor died she’s fussed around me like a mother hen, making sure I’m not getting too sad or missing him too much. She even moved in with me, as you know, and I have to admit I’m quite happy about that because I enjoy the company, even when she’s being a cantankerous old bat.’ She stopped, puzzled, as it suddenly struck her that Pamela hadn’t been quite so irritable lately. She might even be showing signs of becoming more tolerant in her old age – unless there had been outrages and eruptions Rowzee had managed to forget about, or even not notice thanks to the slow but steady breakdown in her brain.

  Experiencing a jolt of sadness at the reminder of her condition, she tried to concentrate on what Andee was saying, but it was a while before she was fully focused, and she had no idea how much she’d missed by the time Andee excused herself and took a phone call on her hands-free.

  ‘Hi, Mum, it’s me,’ Alayna cried excitedly. ‘You are so not going to believe this.’

  ‘Try me,’ Andee challenged, casting a smile at Rowzee.

  ‘OK, right, so I speak to about twelve different rental agents in West London like you told me to, and I end up talking to this one called Anzel, or something like that. She’s half-French, half-Russian, so we spoke in French, which was kind of cool. Anyway, she gave me the number of this other agent who she says operates only on a strictly private basis, if I knew what she meant. I didn’t, but I called the number anyway and this other agent – her name’s Oleysa and she’s also Russian, I think, definitely not English anyway – so she tells me that yes, someone called Yoder did rent a house through her in Holland Park about two years ago. And that’s not all, apparently she told the police that three days ago when they called.’

  Amazed and fascinated, Andee said, ‘You’ve done a brilliant job, my darling. Now I want you to call Leo at the station and tell him exactly what you just told me.’

  ‘No problem. How’s Mrs C? Is she with you?’

  ‘I’m very good, Alayna, thank you,’ Rowzee called out. ‘It’s lovely to hear you.’

  ‘And you. Take care of my mum, won’t you – and Mum, take care of Mrs C. Going to call Leo now,’ and the line went dead.

  Rowzee and Andee exchanged glances.

  ‘Am I right in thinking,’ Rowzee said carefully, ‘that there’s just been a breakthrough in the search for Jessica?’

  Cautiously, Andee replied, ‘It’s sounding like the police in London have made one and decided not to share, which is interesting. Perhaps it’s best not to say anything to Blake for the moment. I’d like to hear what the CID officers in London have to say to their colleagues in Kesterly when they’re told that we know about the rental.’

  Thankful that her and Rowzee’s first visit of the day was to Norma Griffiths and her family, since she wanted more time to think before facing Jenny Leonard, Andee followed the satnav directions along Totnes’s Western Bypass and
turned at the brow of the hill on to Plymouth Road. A few minutes later, just after the council offices, they found themselves in a labyrinth of streets made up of far newer houses than those out on the main road, or in the town’s historic centre. Eventually they came to a stop outside a secluded pebble-dash bungalow, tucked into the end of a leafy cul-de-sac with a weeping willow in the front garden and a welcome sign hanging from the gate.

  As Andee walked round the car to join Rowzee she could sense how tense Rowzee had become, and put a comforting hand on her arm. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked gently.

  Rowzee was gazing at the heavily netted windows as she nodded. ‘I think so. A little nervous, I guess, and wishing Victor was here, but I keep reminding myself that he’s probably watching from wherever he is and I know he’d want me to do this.’

  Touched by her belief, Andee led the way to the front door but didn’t press the bell until Rowzee indicated she was ready.

  There was an immediate sound of movement inside, doors opening, footsteps, voices, and a moment later they were being warmly greeted by a friendly, even eager-looking woman with large, violet-blue eyes, a heart-shaped face and copious amounts of silver hair gathered up in a bun and held in place by a chopstick. Andee was immediately struck by how much younger and more glamorous the woman looked than she’d expected – presuming this was Norma Griffiths, but maybe it was a daughter, or friend, or someone they’d yet to hear anything about.

  ‘You must be Rowena,’ the woman smiled, taking both of Rowzee’s hands in hers. ‘I’m Norma. It’s so lovely to meet you. Thank you for coming all this way. I hope you managed to track us down OK.’

  Finding her voice, Rowzee said, ‘Andee’s trusty little gizmo did us proud.’

  Turning to Andee and still smiling a welcome, Norma said, ‘Jason’s told me all good things about you. Come in, please. We’ve been looking forward so much to seeing you. Ever since Jason called to say that you were happy to meet me I’ve had nothing but positive and joyful feelings about the outcome, and I hope you have too.’