Abrupt

by Kathy Coopmans

  “Um, well. I’ve known your dad for a long time.” Shit, I have no idea how to answer the rest of her questions.

  “Well, you can tell me later ‘cause I have to tell you more things and then I better go before my little cousin wakes and starts crying. He’s a baby and falls asleep in the car every time we go somewhere. My uncle Seth says my cousin falls asleep because I talk too much. He’s such a big dorky tease. Guess what? We have other jars on our counter now. Want to know what they are? I’ll tell you because they are so cool. We have a new bike jar where I put all the change I find and my allowance in it. Daddy says he thinks there might be fifty whole dollars in there. That’s a lot of money toward my new bike, and I have a cooking class jar too. The class cost five hundred dollars. Daddy says I’m not old enough to take the class yet, but by the time I get big, I’ll have enough money so I can. I have to do my homework every day before I play and not argue with my babysitter or Aunt Ellie to get money for that jar. Sometimes I want to play. Daddy doesn’t get mad, he won’t give me my money, but he helps me with my homework. Phew, I have to rest my mouth. It hurts from talking.” She lets out a big puff of air. I can see why. That’s an awful lot of words coming out of a teeny thing like her.

  My stomach takes in a ton of guilt when I think about the affection shining from her eyes when she talks about Lane.

  Suddenly everything constricts—pressure building on my insides. I’m starting to suffocate over taking away years from Lane, Luca, and this little girl.

  If I thought I was a horrible person before, I undeniably do after meeting Lexi.

  “Wow. You are so lucky.”

  Her eyes light up, and she plops down at the end of the bed. Mouth hurting, aunt waiting or not. She isn’t going to stop talking. I’m not sure if I want her to or if I want to run.

  “I know. Daddy reminds me every day he’s lucky to have me too. I don’t know what the word lucky means. Something special, I think, and you must be special like me because I’ve never seen a lady in my dad’s bed before. Did you and my dad go on a date? He doesn’t go on dates with anyone but me. At least that’s what he said. Hey, I was wondering, maybe I can come to work with you one day. You must like to cook if you work there. We could make something together for my daddy. Do you like to swim? It’s my favorite of favorites, and I have a lot of favorites.”

  It’s hard to grab hold of anything else she’s said except the part of Lane not dating. He doesn’t strike me as the type of father to bring home random women and let them meet Lexi but not to date? That can’t be possible.

  “No, we didn’t. I was so tired I fell asleep. Your dad brought me in here. I’ll tell you what, if your dad says you can, then I’ll cook with you. I haven’t been swimming for a long time. I like your bathing suit. Pink is my favorite color.” My lips spread open in a smile as she jumps right back off the bed and moves closer, stretching her arms above her head and twirls. I don’t recall when the last time was a genuine smile crept up on me in surprise.

  I shouldn’t be smiling at all, but I can’t help myself.

  It’s hard to believe this ball of energy is Lane’s adorable daughter. She is a tiny bundle of inquisitiveness and radiates light like an angel—medicine to cure a broken soul. She’ll be what Luca needs to bring lightness back into his world. She’s undoubtedly bringing it into mine in a matter of minutes. But it can’t stay there. I have to keep her safe from Joseph. The same as I do Lane. It breaks my heart all over again.

  I hope she and Luca get along as well as Lane does with his brothers. I hope they bond and protect each other forever. Even if I’m not around, that’s all I want.

  “My name is Lexi Mae Mitchell. Daddy calls me his princess. I’m seven now. When school starts again, I’ll be in the second grade. Oh, look, you have freckles like me. May I touch your hair, pretty please?”

  Oh, God. School. Luca is going to be so far behind. He loved school as much as football.

  My guilt. It’s beginning to choke me now.

  “Only if I can touch yours. My name is Sienna. I have lots of freckles.” I scrunch my nose. I’m not a fan of my freckles. I’m peppered with them. Lane loved them, though.

  Lexi beams at me, her little lips lifting upward—a giggle slipping out of her mouth. I want to giggle too.

  “For real, your name is Sienna? You’re the Sienna! The Sienna! Oh, gosh. I knew you would come back one day. You’re the lady Daddy talks about sometimes when he reads all the books I have about The Little Mermaid and Merida from The Brave. They both have red hair. Daddy said yours was the color of Merida’s but smooth like Ariel. He said you were the prettiest lady in the whole wide world. I’m the prettiest girl. Well, at least Daddy, my uncles, and Grandpa Gabe and Uncle Lorenzo say I am. I love everyone in my family so, so much. I think you’re going to be family too. That means I’m going to love you.”

  Every part of me feels the impact of Lexi’s words as they smash against the wall in my chest, putting a giant crack down the middle. He told his daughter about me. Dear Lord, this man is barging right into my life and blowing me away. I don’t deserve it.

  I’ve got to figure out a way only to see him as Luca’s dad. I can’t allow him to slip any further into my life than he already has. There will never be a man like Lane again in my life. I’m okay with that.

  I have to be.

  “I’ve never watched Brave. I’ve seen The Little Mermaid. I think your daddy is right about you being a princess. Do you have a crown?” Please, God, give me this. Don’t let her little mind go back to love and family.

  She nods her head. An even bigger smile slides across her mouth and reaches her eyes.

  There isn’t a hint of fear in this little girl. Her inquisitive eyes go wide as she jumps right onto the bed next to me. Lays her head on the pillow and reaches out to touch my hair. She strokes and strokes. I’d imagine it’s a mess. It usually is when I don’t put it up on top of my head before I go to bed.

  “Your hair is so, so soft. Mine is too. Aunt Ellie buys me this clear stuff to put in it once it dries. I’m big now so I can smooth it in my hair all by myself.” She pulls her hand away and tucks it under her cheek.

  “Ohhh, your hair is soft and pretty,” I say as I run my fingers through her curls.

  “You look sad. Uncle Logan says his house is his happy place. Daddy says I’m his. Did you fall asleep here to make you happy?” Her forehead creases with a frown.

  “Well, I…” …am thankfully saved by your dad. I swallow when I hear Lane coming down the hall, a second later he’s rounding the bed.

  His hair is still wet from his shower. The jeans he grabbed out of his closet sitting low on his hips where he plants his hands, lifts his brows, and stares down at Lexi. The corners of his lips twitch, the man trying hard not to let a smile stretch across his handsome face.

  My eyes roam everywhere, up and down that remarkable body stopping at the V dipping down into the waistband. My core clenches, mouth waters as my gaze travels upward, admiring the way the muscles flex in his arms. And his naked chest is a work of carved perfected art. The man is a god.

  I gasp when I notice a tattoo of a red rose across his heart dripping with teardrop shapes of blood. He talked about getting a rose inked on him one day due to him loving the smell of the lotion I still use to this day.

  He did that for me and because of me—those tears. I hate them.

  “You’ll always be in my heart. I’m going to put a bright red one inked with the color of your hair over mine.” He said that several times when we’d sneak out to lay and talk under the stars.

  “Daddy, you were in the shower for a long, long time. I forgot my suit, but I didn’t wake Sienna. We’re going to be the best of friends. I knew she’d come back to you. I just knew it.”

  My mind scrambles in disbelief as I watch him look at her. There is so much adoration in that man’s eyes. It’s the best look I’ve ever seen on his face. It makes me want to reach out and be a part of it. For the life of me,
though, I can’t believe Lane would tell her about me.

  “Come hug me, princess.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard and pulls Lexi into his arms, mouthing he’s sorry, and he’ll be right back as he searches my face to see if I’m okay.

  I’m far from it. I slip my mask I wore for years in place. I won’t let Lane see I’m teetering on edge.

  “He’ll say yes to you going on a date with us, Sienna. All you have to do is ask,” Lexi hollers as I swoon when he flips her around, her little squeal contagious as he plants her on his shoulders, and she bends to kiss him on his forehead.

  I can’t ask for what I want. I can’t take a chance of stepping out of the box because what will happen to Lane, to me, to Lexi if Joseph were to call and demand I come to him if I want Luca? I’d go without any hesitation on my part.

  What would happen if Joseph found a way to snatch Lexi? No one is safe from the evil of my husband. My heart can’t go through losing people I care about all over again.

  The minute they are out of sight, I slip out of bed, dart out the slider, gather my sense of direction, and run the two blocks home, completely aware of the two members of security swiftly jogging after me. All the while knowing besides locking myself away in a white padded room, there’s no escaping Lane Mitchell.

  Not this time.

  Chapter Eight

  Lane

  Most big cities had neighborhoods with dilapidated houses that can barely stand. Broken and boarded windows. Homeless people on every corner. Drug dealers. Hookers, you name it.

  The outskirts of Houston I was driving in was no different than some I’d seen in New Orleans, New York, and most big cities. It reeks of horrific crimes. Shit, I can’t wrap my head around.

  I wasn’t prepared for this part of town, much like I wasn’t when Sienna told me she’d been beaten and raped. How could anyone be for unimaginable words like that?

  It hit me hard. A punch in the gut, and honestly, I’ve no idea what direction I should go when it comes to her from here. Do I leave her alone? Do I come on full-force to remind her she’s not a lost lamb waiting for the big bad wolf to grip her by the neck anymore?

  Sienna said she believed she was safe, and I think she does. However, there’s more to it. I bet some of it has to do with me. The rest is the fear Joseph trenched a hole, covered it in cement inside of her.

  Can’t blame her one bit. It lives inside me too. Mine is fresh, this open festering wound. Insides being crushed and pulled apart.

  My blood simmers, that’s for damn sure. Joseph has crossed too many lines. I won’t rest until he’s beaten—and I don’t mean just beaten with my fists. I mean dead as Sienna wants. There isn’t a place he’ll be able to hide that’ll keep me from finding him. I don’t care how it happens or who finds him. I don’t need him to suffer; I only want to distinguish him from her life.

  For now, I stuff it down, needing to focus on the reason why I’m driving through what seems to be the pit of Houston.

  The entire hour drive from one side of town to the other, I tried convincing myself I wasn’t scared out of my goddamn mind.

  I couldn’t.

  I’m terrified of what Aidan found out about Luca and why the hell we’re meeting at some warehouse in the worst part of the city. I’m about to see just how far I’ll go to save my son with a glimpse into the underworld. One I haven’t shed light on years.

  Death.

  I’m getting a stealthy whiff of it, and it stinks like a rotten sewer.

  Rattling me to the bone.

  I’d killed a few people before. In my eyes, they were undeserving to breathe any longer. All before Lexi was born. Of course, I’d helped Logan kill a few years back. I just wasn’t the one who drew their last breath. Now that I can smell death, the thought Joseph has my son tangled up in some corrupt danger has me wanting to blow someone’s head off.

  I’m about to go from a devoted father who sits and plays dolls with his daughter, to a blood starving monster to save his son, I know it.

  The thought of Lexi ever knowing I have, and undoubtedly will, take lives if needed, leaves a foul taste in my mouth. It’s ten times worse than the day I looked into her eyes hours after she was born and made a promise that I’d never walk back into Behind Closed Doors again. That I’d do everything in my power that she’d never find out the type of man I used to be.

  Lexi was so damn happy earlier as I carried her down the stairs and out to Ellie. Her arms were waving in the air as she whooped it up that she finally met Sienna. If that kind of smile ever left her face because of me, I’d hang my head in shame.

  “Jesus, the thought of my little girl someday finding out anything about my past or this fucked up situation would surely kill her,” I mutter to myself, lean over to grab my .38 out of the glovebox. I still hate guns, haven’t touched this thing in years either.

  I force down the thoughts of my daughter, letting it rest in the corner with Sienna until I find out what I’m about to learn regarding my son.

  But as I pull into the warehouse parking lot, drive around back as Gabe instructed and park, it might not be long before I shoot someone.

  That someone happens to be my older brother, Logan. Gabe and Seth stand alongside him, all three leaning against the building.

  I ignore the shake of Seth’s head as I climb out and make my way toward them. My eyes on Logan. The three of them might be here to jump my shit before we attend this meeting, I expected it. The problem at the moment is if Logan thinks he’s going anywhere near danger, he can think again. It worries me enough Seth is involved.

  “The fuck you doing here, Logan? I don’t want you anywhere near this mess. Does Ellie even know you’re here?” God forbid if anything were to happen to Seth or me, Logan needs to take care of Lexi. Not to mention, he now has a child of his own.

  “You don’t have a say in what I do. I answer to my wife and no one else. I’m here for the same reason you are, to get answers. That, plus, make sure you don’t go off and do something stupid like sneak away to save my nephew.” He slaps a hand on my shoulder before drawing me in for a hug. “Take it easy, alright? Don’t blow off steam wasting energy you need to use, Lane. I’m here to have your back. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  My body is tightly coiled. I can’t ease up. Not even if I tried.

  The sneaking around, though. I’ll leave that to Sienna. The woman sent me in an uproar when I fished my phone out of my pocket to retrieve a text from security, letting me know she’d snuck out. I’m a little pissed at her for that. No matter what made her tear out of there, she will under no circumstance ditch them again. She knows better.

  I sigh in relief that my family is here, giving the support we all need instead of reaming me a new asshole for keeping this from them. I wrap my arms around my older brother and hold on for a moment. It’s hard, so damn hard not to let the tears itching to break fall. Instead, I think of how damn angry I am that people without reason can go about destroying others.

  Protectiveness shines in his eyes as he draws back, and I have to turn away. I recognize that look—the yearning to keep your family safe. It dangled like a dagger over my heart as I left Sienna in bed this morning. I saw it in my reflection when I stepped out of the shower, felt it when I picked Lexi up from Ellie and dropped her off with the sitter. It took over me when I’d taken charge after Ellie was kidnapped, and Logan had been shot, and I feel it in my bones over my son.

  “I’m not going to do anything stupid, not like this asshole here.” I chuck my thumb in Seth’s direction.

  “Fuck off, pretty boy, or I’ll deck you in the face again.” The reckless little shit laughs.

  I don’t as I recall how Seth knocked me out a few years back, thinking he and Logan’s best friend Rocco were going to take it upon themselves to save Ellie from the man who kidnapped her. I had to lie to Lexi. I told her I tripped and smacked my face into the side of a table. She cried her eyes out, worrying about me. Cute little thing going to the kitchen
and somehow finagling a chair to the freezer to grab a frozen bag of peas. She sat on my lap, holding the bag to my face for a minute before pulling it away so she could splatter my owie as she called it with kisses and asking if it felt better. It felt better with every wet sloppy kiss.

  More knives stab at my heart as I think about my innocent little girl again. If I don’t stop thinking about her, I’ll butcher myself before I know what’s going on.

  “You can try. Just know if you do, I’ll break both your hands. That way, you won’t be out there having me worry about you.”

  Seth’s grinning now, pulling his long hair he’s been growing out for a while back into a ponytail as he gives me a full-on pearly white smile. I should deck him for it. The thing is, Seth is the biggest protector of us all. He doesn’t think I know he is, but I do.

  “You’d do the same for me. Besides, Luca is my nephew too. He’s going to need someone he knows to bring him back here once we find him.”

  That’s right, Seth and Logan have met Luca. Through all I’ve learned in the past few days, I’d forgotten that.

  It makes me thankful as well as places a twinge of jealousy in my chest. It also has me on edge as to what lengths everyone will go through to save Luca. Mostly Gabe. He might be a natural born killer, to me, he’s my father. The man took on a role he didn’t have to, turning us into men and setting us straight while letting us make mistakes when it came to the club. He hated that place more than I did.

  I can see out of the corner of my eye, Gabe is staring at me to make sure I’m alright. I’m not, and he knows it. All three of them do. They aren’t either. I will be as soon as I take the time to catalog everything in my head before it explodes. Even then, I doubt I’ll be the man I once was. I’m okay with that as long as Luca comes out of this alive and well.

  “I think we can all agree that when someone fucks with our family, they live to see very few days. I want to tell you something, Lane, the few times I talked to Luca, I knew straight away he was a smart kid. A couple of times, I thought ‘shit, this kid would get along well with Lane.’ The boy can solve an equation that looks foreign as fuck to me. He’s a Mitchell; he’s his mother’s son. That sums up to a survivor. We’ll find him, Lane. You get your shit together and take care of Lexi and Sienna, but if you keep another secret from me, I’m going to bust you in the face for real.” I’d do the same for Seth in a heartbeat.