Abrupt

by Kathy Coopmans

  I swallow, center clenching and pulsing as his body bends slightly at the waist, he dips his head, hands coming up, fingers bending slightly as they cup the swells of my breasts without touching.

  I’m mesmerized in his trance, my nipples aching—pussy on fire.

  “These amazing breasts. Tell me; Sienna, are your nipples as pink as they were? Do they remember how I used to suck on them until you’d arch your back and tell me the other one needs the same amount of attention? Do your breasts scream to be pushed together while I slide my dick in between them? Goddamn, I can’t wait to fuck them and come all over that elegant neck.” He leans in a little closer, slamming me with a gust of his intoxicating power.

  I’ve no doubt the way I’m flushed, my body temperature is about to hit the ceiling, my skin likely his favorite color—pink with a tinge of red.

  I’m about a second away from passing out due to the dizziness in my head.

  “How about your heart? Did it miss me as much as mine missed yours? Did it pound so hard you couldn’t breathe whenever you thought about me? Mine did when I thought about you. I don’t want to breathe anymore without you. You’ve always owned my heart, Sienna. There isn’t another woman who will.”

  With the slightest movement of his head, his eyes meet mine. My breath catches in my throat when I see so much longing and desire that I almost beg him to touch me, but I’m held captive in his seductive spell that all I can do is nod.

  And then the man pulls a gasp out of me when he drops to his knees. His mouth is less than an inch away from the spot aching for his touch. I want to lift my skirt, grab the hair on his head, and shove myself into his face.

  “This pussy, I missed it. Missed the taste, the way it would clench tightly around my cock and milk me dry. When I fuck you, you will feel me when you sit, stand, walk, because I’ll have taken back what belongs to me. I want all of you, your mind, body, heart, your life. You are my life, and once you are ready for me. Once you stop believing you don’t deserve to be happy, I swear to you as a man on his knees. A man who doesn’t deserve your forgiveness that there won’t be a day gone by that I prove you do. I will give you the life you have always wanted—a life with me. You are worth everything. Everything, Sienna.”

  I swallow hard. I want to drop to my knees too and promise forever. Still, that part of my heart filled with emotions I can’t sweep away, it screams I don’t deserve to be happy. I know that is why Lane is pushing me with words instead of touching me. Why he said, he won’t until I’m ready. He’s reminding me what it’s like to be valued.

  “I’ll wait for you, Sienna. If you don’t want me to touch you, all you have to do is tell me. If you want to talk, walk, be together, then I’m okay with that. I am okay with waiting as long as you need. I want you to be clear on that. There’s one more thing about the promise I made to Lexi that you need to know. When I said I wasn’t letting a woman in, I meant it in every way. I haven’t had sex since before Lexi was born. With you coming back into my life, I’ve never been more grateful for sticking to that promise.”

  “What?” I’ve found my voice. It’s not the one Lane stated I have. I thought I had that voice a few days ago when I told myself I would use it with Ellie because I could. No, that one sucked right back into my lungs by Lane forgiving, wanting, and offering me things I’ve dreamed of when he should hate me.

  “I didn’t stutter. You heard me.”

  I did, and I can’t believe my ears.

  He brings a hand up to my cheek but quickly retreats by dropping it to his side. I can see the indecision torturing him, a strained temptation he’s choosing to ignore.

  “We loved each other once. We can get there again. Let me fix your broken wings so you can fly. I promise I won’t let you fall without catching you. You don’t have to be alone anymore. Not when you have me to take it away. Not when what we had, what will have again is a second chance to fall deeper in love. It’s there, Sienna. An unbreakable love.”

  Pushing to stand, he walks to the door, each step away from me leaves footprints on my heart. Prints that belong to a man I have many questions to ask and so much submission to give.

  He pauses after swinging open the door and glances over his shoulder.

  “I’ve missed everything about you, Sienna Ricci. Mostly, your heart. Don’t make me wait much longer to take care of it. I could live without everything else except that.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Lane

  “You’ve always carried this fucked-up world on your shoulders, Lane. Well, goddamn it, sometimes in life we need to ask for help. Even though you didn’t, you sure as fuck are getting it. I live in New York half the time anyway. I know first-hand how that knife cuts so deep into your gut, twisting the shit out of it until you’re bleeding to death. It can possess your every thought. The more people looking, the better.” I prop my phone up to my ear with my shoulder, hit send on the final bill for a customer to my assistant, and shut down my laptop.

  I should have never answered my phone when Rocco called. Wouldn’t have mattered though, he’d be out there hounding like a dog regardless.

  The guy went through hell several years back. He still hasn’t found his way out. He dropped right down that hole from rawness, suffering and witnessing his fiancée murdered. It was a horrendous act of jealousy that messed him and Seth up.

  Both witnessed his woman getting shot to death. That, plus Seth losing the girl he cared for over it, started his spiral into drinking. Seth fell for Rocco’s younger sister. She moved after the murder. Just up and left without a goodbye.

  My brother recovered from his addiction, Rocco didn’t. I’m not sure if he ever will. The guy doesn’t care about anyone except for my family and fucking away his feelings. It’s a damn shame. He’d make a great life partner for someone with as big of a heart as he has.

  “How’s business?” I ask, changing the subject. I’d forgotten Rocco took ownership of the building, and Logan bought and turned it into another club right in the heart of Manhattan. Legit dance club with an underground sex organization I’m sure puts the one he owns in Georgia to shame.

  My mouth dries, nausea roiling in the pit of my gut when I think back to the days I was as rooted in the sex world as he is.

  I let it digest me. Swallow me whole.

  A piss poor excuse for not being man enough back then to fight for Sienna. Look what it cost her?

  Guttural agony.

  I’m deflating because of it.

  I swallow the reality. It’ll come right back up, stirring those emotions, yanking on my gut to let it out as soon as we hang up.

  “It’s going good, asshole. Don’t try averting on me. I’m no fool, man. You best let that shit out, it’ll poison you if you don’t. Do you get me? Listen up. I know more about computers than all you pretty Mitchell brothers put together. I wish I were calling with news that I found XYZ. They vanished, man. I couldn’t find a thing on the dark web about them except a few videos floating around. That is some messed up shit to watch. I scrolled through, hoping there’d be a contact or some shit, hell I don’t know. Shit will bleed out of my brain. That’s for sure.” The disgust and aggravation in his voice carry through the line.

  Dark fury clutches hold of the back of my skull. That ache deep inside my chest, ready to burst. Hell would have to freeze over before I ever watch one of those videos. How Rocco did it beats the fuck out of me.

  XYZ up and deleting themselves off the web only brings the sparks under my ass a little closer to the roaring fire. I’m about ready to go up in flames—nerves fraying with nothing to snag hold of to keep me from falling face first, submitting to my guilt, letting it out.

  Wonder if it’ll do me any good.

  Doubt it.

  “That doesn’t surprise me. I appreciate you stepping in to help, I do. The dark web isn’t a place I want you to be.” I don’t know jack shit about it except for bits and pieces. That place is a community of its own. Dangerous. Even though Rocco is a
junkie for danger, that doesn’t mean I want another person I care about getting messed up in this.

  With my luck, someone would track his ass down and come after him—someone as screwed up as Joseph.

  “Yeah, well, I’m damn good at what I do. I guarantee nothing will get traced back to me. I’m almost to my destination. I’m going to scour the streets with your brother. I have to keep that little shit in line, and don’t you go messing up Logan’s face. He isn’t the one who told me. Take care of yourself and that woman. You got a second chance, man, and a son I’ll kill every rotten motherfucker in my way to get him to you and his mom.”

  The line goes dead at his last word, and I throw my phone on my desk instead of chucking it at the wall that is shrinking in on me with each breath I take.

  How the hell am I supposed to take care of a woman when it’s going on a week since I filleted myself wide open in her office? I obviously went about it the wrong way when it comes to Sienna. I’m not giving up by any means, just going out of my mind all the more.

  Agitation starts to weave its way through my veins. Fueled by the desperation to get Sienna back and try to find my son. The only thing keeping me stable right now is Lexi, and even when I’m with her, I’m having a hard time focusing.

  Desperate.

  I hated that word.

  For some reason, it reminds me of my mother. The woman was so anxious to do whatever it took to mourn the sudden death of our dad that before his body was even in the ground, she’d forgot her sons were standing next to her grieving themselves if it weren’t for Gabe, who knows what would have happened to us.

  “Someone needs to throw my kid and Sienna a bone here, damn it.” Screw me and the future I want to create when the love of my life needs it.

  A lifeline. A reason for her to keep on hoping.

  I wasn’t a desperate man any more than I was one to walk a tightrope when it came to every aspect of my life. With every step I’ve taken since finding out that young boy has my blood running through his veins, that rope is getting thinner. I can already feel it wobbling underneath my unsteady feet. It won’t be long before it snaps.

  It’s enough to drive the sanest of men insane. And I consider myself pretty damn balanced.

  “The hell with it, Rocco’s right.” I need some air, need to get this out of me before I rip my office apart. My rationality is slipping with all that’s prodding away at my skull. I’m starting to feel sorry for myself—this helpless man who doesn’t know which way to turn.

  Pressure. I knew the time would come where I’d buckle underneath that avalanche roaring on a mission to bury me alive.

  I’m spiraling. Heart strung between heaven and hell.

  Flying to my feet, I tear down the hallway, pull open the door to the back of the building, and bend at the waist. I could puke, I could cry, I could ram my fist into the brick wall of Mitchell Holdings, I could yell until my throat bleeds raw. It still won’t expel this strange feeling coursing through me.

  I am ready to destruct—that ticking time bomb on the final countdown.

  I whirl around, chest heaving when the door flies open to Logan, staring at me with dark circles under his eyes, brows pinching together.

  I hate that for him. It riles my ass that my older brother is stricken with another Mitchell curse. Swear to God; we were born with them hanging over our heads. Now, one has cast my son.

  “The fuck? Jesus, why the hell are you even here? I can run Mitchell Holdings on my own.” My head jerks back. I don’t like his tone. It’s bordering on pissed off.

  He best not be taking his lack of control out on me.

  “We’re already missing Seth, not about to dump my workload on you. Besides, you wouldn’t know how to do my job to save your life. What’s your problem anyway?” I stiffen my jaw, grinding my teeth.

  Logan is as shit with numbers as he is an asshole right now. I draw up the bids after the clients okay the blueprints. He’d scratch his head, trying to add everything up.

  “You are my problem. I expect you to do your job if you insist on being here. I don’t need you sitting in a meeting with clients, not paying attention to questions about where they can or can’t cut corners to stay within budget. You’ve been doing that for days. Look, I could handle working when things got rough with Ellie. The way I see it, you can’t.”

  He takes a step closer, asshole having the nerve to chuckle.

  I clench my fists.

  “I’ve done my job. Don’t come out here accusing me of slacking off. Not today.” For Christ’s sake. The client he’s referring to had to ask me twice. “We got the job. You, on the other hand, can get out of my space.”

  The blood drains from my face. I guess if I’d looked a little closer, I would have noticed the fury buried underneath his tiredness.

  Still, who gives a rat’s ass about this company at the moment. He just compared my son missing to the secrets and lies he kept from his wife.

  That remark is as much heartbreaking as it is a low blow.

  If he takes another step toward me, I’ll come unhinged.

  “I don’t think I will. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get you to open up. You’ve ignored me when I’ve asked if you want to talk. You don’t give me a clue as to what you’re thinking, how I can help, you give me nothing. You hole yourself up in your office and then leave without saying a word. Do you want our employees to catch onto what’s going on? If so, let’s call a meeting.”

  “Call one, see if I give a shit. If I want to stay in my office, then I’ll stay in my office. If I want to go home, then I’ll leave whenever I damn want.”

  Both of us cock our heads to the side, staring one another down. I have no idea where this sudden attitude is coming from other than my older brother must be losing his mind the same as me. If so, he might want to rein it in before I drive my fist into his mouth.

  I’ll use him as the outlet to beat these feelings I can’t restrain out of my system.

  My mind is out of control, his words are unexpected, but I’ll be damned if the thing that pops into my head right now is how much we resemble one another as I glare at him. It’s damn near scary. We have our differences; that’s for sure, but when it comes to our looks, all three of us look a lot like one another. If it weren’t for Seth being covered from neck to ankles in tattoos along with his long hair, we could stand side by side by side in a lineup, and no one could tell us apart unless they knew who was who.

  “Excuse me? My son is missing, Logan. A son I didn’t know I had until weeks ago. Sienna is drowning in grief. I have regrets flying around in my skull. Blame and shame. Helplessness and fear as I’ve never felt before. I’m torn apart between leaving my daughter with you and Ellie to go search for Luca, and you, the brother I’ve always looked up to is going to come out here when I need a minute to clear my head and fill it with bullshit.” I don’t think so. I will take the anchor tied around me and take him down with me.

  “You’re right. What happened to Ellie and me isn’t the same. Someone needs to open your eyes. Since I’m the one here with you, it’s me.”

  I cringe as the puncture of his words pierces through my flesh.

  “My eyes are wide open. Luca is with a man he thinks is his father. I can’t begin to conceive what that must be like for him. He’s not quite ten years old, Logan. He could come back to his mother damaged for life. He could not come back to her at all.” I all but growl the words to get them past the tears clogging my throat.

  I’m not afraid to break down and cry. I prefer to do it without my older brother being a self-centered prick all of a sudden.

  Something close to the way I’m feeling flashes across his face. That shuts those tears right down and fuels my wrath like there’s no tomorrow. He does not get to feel sorry for me. He does not get to come out here, invading my space with demands and comparison. He does not get to tell me what to do. He does not get to do a damn thing except shut the hell up and stay out of this and let me be.


  There is nothing he can do. Not a damn thing except keeping the love I have for Lexi alive inside of her, so she never forgets how difficult this was for me if I choose to look for Luca and end up dead.

  This is the worst curse ever to be cast on my family. It is unfair.

  “You son of a bitch,” I bark at the top of my lungs. “I don’t need you to look at me like that! Like you, fucking feel sorry for me. I don’t need you to act like my father. I don’t need you to tell me how to do my job. I need pulling out of this nightmare. I need the woman I care about to come out of her shell. I need her to know what’s going on with Luca so I can pick up the pieces. I need to find Luca before I lose my fucking mind. I need a little goddamn space when I ask for space, and if you weren’t my brother, I’d pound you into the pavement for not giving it to me.” I scoff, all the bitterness inside of me along with that bomb explodes when he smirks.

  There’s no escape route for the shards of pain that shatter right through me. It propels me into an open space filled with more.

  It’s everywhere.

  Pain.

  Motherfucking agony. I can only take so much of it.

  I grab him by the collar, shoving him against the wall of our building. The place the three of us put everything we had into by taking a chance it could grow into a legit business we could be proud of. And it has.

  “Fuck you, Lane,” he rasps as he reaches out and grips hold of my shoulders.

  I jolt back, dropping my hands and shrugging out of his clasp as if he’d punched me in the gut. Not in a million years would I expect the man who has watched over me and Seth most of our lives to follow me out here and spew this kind of crap in my face.

  I snap, shaking my head as I get within an inch of his face. Evidently, something crawled up Logan’s ass and died. Not once has he talked to me this way.

  You’d think he’d be as miserable as I am. You’d think he’d be scratching at his skin not to be in Seth’s position right now. For some goddamn reason, he’s not.