The Cowboy's Family Christmas

by Carolyne Aarsen

  But she’d had a quiet dignity and a radiant beauty that struck him immediately.

  Not only him but also his brother, Dirk. Trouble was Reuben knew who and what he was. A wild child who liked pushing boundaries and testing limits. A bareback rider who prided himself on being the toughest, hardest and baddest. A rebel who couldn’t win his father’s love no matter what he did.

  Dirk was the charming golden boy, and while Reuben had held back, feeling undeserving, Dirk, who had no such qualms, had moved in. But Reuben could never shake the idea that on a deeper level Leanne seemed to be attracted to him, as well. It had never been obvious. A look that went on too long. A smile that became serious whenever their eyes met. But in spite of feelings he’d sensed they shared, he’d also known she would never break up with Dirk.

  But then she did. When she walked onto the beach at his cousin’s wedding, alone, barefoot, wearing a flowing pink dress, his heart had kicked into overdrive.

  And they’d spent a glorious few weeks together.

  Six weeks later she and Dirk eloped. Eight weeks later his brother was dead.

  “We aren’t entirely sure about the integrity of the building,” Owen said, pulling Reuben’s thoughts back to the present. “Given that Floyd didn’t finish the work, we need to start assessing the building from the ground up. We have to decide if the structure is worth working on or if we should doze it and start from scratch. What we want from your assessment is which direction we should go.”

  “I should be able to give you that information,” Reuben said, dragging his gaze away from Leanne to the assembled members of the group who were looking at him expectantly. “It will probably take me about a week or more to cover all the aspects of the structure. Wiring, plumbing, anything that is in place. Make sure it’s all up to code. I’ll need to stop at the town office to see what the building permit looks like, whether we’ll need a new one or if the old one is still valid.”

  “Could you give us an idea of what kind of money we’re talking for your work?” Owen asked.

  “I’ll give you a discount on my usual fee,” he said, keeping his comment deliberately vague. “It’ll be a fair price.”

  “Leanne, you got that?” Owen said with a grin. “Make sure you mark down that he said a fair price. I know what kind of guy Reuben used to be. Left us hanging with the bar tab one too many times after a rodeo competition.”

  “Those were the old days.” Reuben managed a feeble grin in response to the reference to his rodeo days. Leanne didn’t need to be reminded of his former life.

  “Anyone else have any questions for Reuben?”

  Carmen Fisher, the manager of George’s hardware store, sat back in her chair looking concerned but said nothing. Andy just shook his head. Cord was already tapping out a text on his cell phone as he got up, also shaking his head. George just shrugged.

  “Okay. Then this meeting is adjourned,” Owen said. “We won’t need to have another one until Reuben has some information to give us.”

  Owen gave Reuben a broad grin then got up.

  “You’re coming to the ranch again tomorrow?” George asked.

  Reuben shot another quick glance at Leanne, who was still tapping away on the computer, then turned to his father. “I’ll be there.”

  George acknowledged his comment with a tight nod. “Good.” Then he pulled Cord aside as they walked out of the room with Owen, lowering his voice to talk to him.

  Leanne was about to leave when Carmen got up. “Leanne, can you wait a moment? You too, Reuben? I have something I need to say to you both,” she said, glancing over her shoulder as if to make sure no one was in the room.

  “I don’t have a lot of time,” Leanne said.

  “This will only take a few moments.” Carmen sighed, then walked over to the door, opened it, looked around then closed it.

  Reuben was officially intrigued as she walked back to where Leanne sat.

  “So I need to talk to you about George,” she said. “I feel like a traitor, but I’m concerned about his health. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s been smoking again. Tony, the young fellow who works at the store, caught him a couple of times out back.”

  Reuben wondered if his return had anything to do with his father taking up a habit that he’d indulged in too often in the past.

  “I haven’t noticed,” Leanne said, frowning as she slipped her laptop into her briefcase. “He hasn’t been sneaking out of the house for a cigarette that I could tell and I’m sure he hasn’t been smoking in his room.”

  “Well, he’s been doing it at the hardware store.” Carmen sighed. “And he’s also been short of breath lately. I think he’s under too much stress.”

  “So do you think he should sell the store?” Leanne asked.

  Carmen shrugged. “He’s not that involved in the store’s operations anymore, so I can’t imagine there’s any stress there. He only stops in to see what’s going on and check on the books. If he stays it’s to chat with the customers or putz around with the inventory. He likes rearranging shelves.” She gave them a wry look. “However I don’t know if the store is the problem.”

  It seemed to Reuben that Carmen didn’t want to come right out and voice what needed to be said.

  “So that leaves the ranch,” Reuben put in, knowing Leanne would disagree with what he was going to say. “Do you think it’s the ranch that’s wearing him down?”

  Leanne shot him an angry look. “The ranch is what keeps him going,” she returned. “It’s his life.”

  “His or yours?” he asked, his voice quiet.

  This netted him another glare, but as their eyes held, he sensed a lingering doubt. As if on some level she knew, as well. But she couldn’t admit it. She dragged her gaze away, turning to Carmen.

  “What do you suggest?” Leanne asked. “What do you think we should do?”

  Carmen glanced from Reuben to Leanne as if unsure where and how to proceed. “I know he often grumbles about hired hands and all the work that ranch requires. I wish I had an answer, but like I said I just wanted to let you know what I’ve seen. I don’t want to make it look like I’m going behind his back, but I felt you needed to hear my concerns.”

  “Thanks for caring, Carmen,” Reuben said, giving her a smile. “I appreciate your letting us know.”

  She nodded, tucked her notebook under her arm and then left.

  Leanne wasn’t looking at Reuben as she slipped a sheaf of papers into her briefcase, then zipped it shut. He knew she wasn’t going to address what Carmen brought up. So he would.

  “So, what do you think of what Carmen told us?” he asked, pushing the issue.

  Leanne swung the strap of the briefcase over her arm, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.

  “Even if he isn’t smoking that much, we both know he’s not well,” Reuben pressed. “So if there are other factors at play...”

  Leanne closed her eyes, her hands clenched on the straps of the case. Then she turned to him.

  “We might as well get to the heart of it. You think we should sell the ranch,” she said.

  Reuben lifted his shoulder in a half shrug. “I think you need to be realistic about what you and George can manage.”

  “You’ve never cared about that place at all,” she continued, as if he hadn’t even spoken. “You’ve never understood what your father has done to maintain it and keep it going without either of his sons around.” Her eyes snapped as she looked at him.

  “Why should I have cared or invested any more time in it? It was always going to go to Dirk, and it’s not like he was that involved. You know that.”

  Leanne didn’t respond to his assertion.

  “Besides, you’re wrong,” he said, feeling an unreasoning desire to try to redeem himself in her eyes. “I cared more about the ranch than Dirk
ever did. Worked harder on the ranch than my brother ever did. I loved my brother, you know that. But everything always came so easily to Dirk. He didn’t value things as a result. He never had to work for the ranch or anything else in his whole life.”

  Including you, he wanted to say but he wasn’t that dumb.

  Leanne looked down at the table, the fingers of her one hand sliding up and down the strap. “I know that.”

  Her admission surprised him.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” she said, adding to his shock. “I’m glad you’re helping. George may not admit it, but I think he feels the same.”

  Reuben wondered if she was simply trying to make him feel good. But the lonely part of him that had always yearned for his father’s approval and for Leanne’s thanks was only too willing to take it all.

  “Well, that’s good.”

  “And I hope you know I appreciate the help, as well.” This time she looked over at him and gave him a gentle smile.

  Their eyes held, and old attractions, old emotions shimmered between them.

  His breath caught in his throat and, to his dismay, he had to fight the urge to close the gap between them. To cup her face with his hand.

  To kiss her.

  He shook off the feeling, dragging his gaze away.

  “That’s good. I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said, fighting to regain control of himself.

  She hesitated a moment as if she wanted to say more, but he kept his eyes averted.

  Because he knew, if he looked at her again, he would do something supremely foolish.

  Something he was sure he would regret.

  Chapter Five

  “So where’s Austin?” Reuben asked, as he followed Leanne to the corrals.

  It was late Friday morning and the sun shed weak warmth on the day, easing the chill that night had brought.

  “George is bringing him to Tabitha’s today. He can’t take care of him and there’s no way we can have him around.” Leanne slipped a ball cap on her head, tugging her ponytail through the hole in the back, and zipped up the down vest she’d put on over her jacket. She hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself but this morning, for the first time in weeks, she’d woken up with a sense of anticipation of the work ahead.

  This morning she would have someone helping her who was competent and capable. That it was Reuben was unfortunate, but thankfully Chad would also be around as a buffer. She wasn’t ready to spend an entire day alone with Reuben.

  Yesterday, for just a moment, she felt as if she’d gone back in time and the old feelings she had thought she had suppressed, forgotten, had come drifting to the surface. It would be too dangerous to acknowledge them now.

  “He’ll probably head to the hardware store and then the Brand and Grill for coffee,” she continued, “so I don’t expect him back for a while. And Chad called to say that he’ll be here in about twenty minutes.”

  “I thought Shauntelle usually took care of Austin?” Reuben said.

  “She couldn’t today. She’s getting ready for the farmers’ market tomorrow.” She walked faster than Reuben, trying to keep ahead of him and the unwelcome feelings being too close to him created. She couldn’t allow herself to give in to them. Reuben was leaving. He’d made that very clear.

  “So he gets bounced back and forth between Tabitha and Shauntelle?”

  “Why does this matter to you?” She strode over to the tack shed off the main barn and slid open the large rolling door, taking refuge in annoyance at his questions.

  “Because. He’s my son,” he said, following her. “I wonder if it’s a good idea to pass him around like that.”

  Leanne spun around, her hands planted on her hips, thankful for the outrage flowing through her. “You haven’t been a part of his life for almost three years and now you’re going to get all parental?”

  Reuben held her angry glare beat for beat, his own eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that what you want? Or am I simply supposed to say, ‘Okay, I acknowledge that he’s my son. Here’s some money—’”

  “I don’t want your money. I only want... I only wanted you to...” She paused there, suddenly in unfamiliar territory. She never thought she’d be confronting Reuben again. She thought his denial of Austin’s paternity had put him out of their lives for good.

  But he was back and, it seemed, had his own ideas about her son, correction, their son.

  “Wanted what?” he asked, articulating her silent questions. “Me to be an involved father? Or am I just supposed to admit he’s my son and walk away?”

  Leanne held his narrowed gaze, suddenly unsure. Reuben admitted Austin was his. It was what she had hoped for forever, ever since she’d seen that faint line on the home pregnancy test.

  Now she had a plan and a purpose. However, with Reuben, the man she had once loved so dearly facing her, it didn’t seem like enough.

  “I don’t know,” she finally admitted, stepping into the gloom of the shed, grabbing a couple of halters off their hooks on the wall and handing one to him. “I don’t know what kind of father I want you to be.”

  Reuben released a sigh as he took the halter, his gaze fixed on her. “But you know what you want now, right? From life?”

  She sighed, feeling the anger draining out of her. “I want a good life for Austin. I want security for him.”

  “I understand. And this is the place where that will happen.” He looked around the ranch yard, a faint smile teasing his lips. “I remember sitting on a beach with you and talking about having six kids, a milk cow and chickens. I don’t see a cow or chickens around.”

  “Someday.” She held his gaze, memories floating upward. “I remember your saying you could only promise me the chickens.”

  “Because the milk cow required pasture, which meant land.”

  “Which, to you, meant settling down in Cedar Ridge. And you never wanted six kids.” She struggled to keep her tone light but she remembered his comment hurting her at the time.

  “Told you I never saw myself as a father.”

  “And here you are.”

  “Here I am.” Then he shifted his cowboy hat on his head and sighed. “We could go round and round on this, but we’ve got cows to move. Which horse do you want me to use?”

  She accepted his segue. It was probably for the best. Right now she didn’t have the energy to look too far into the future.

  “Mickey,” she said. “The roan mare. I’ll take Spud, the palomino. When Chad comes, he can take Pinto.”

  “I remember Spud,” he said, hooking the halter over his shoulder and taking the second one for the horse Chad would be riding when he came. “I trained that horse.”

  “You did well with him,” Leanne said as they walked out of the darkened shed into the light. “He’s a good cattle horse. Not as good as Dickens, who I was using on Wednesday. He’s a better cutting horse in tight areas, but Spud is good for long hauls.”

  “Listen to you, rancher woman,” Reuben said, a lighter tone entering his voice. “Talking all horse and cow lingo.”

  She couldn’t help but return his smile. In spite of their history, talking with Reuben had always come easy. He could make her smile and laugh in a way Dirk never could.

  “I’ve picked up a few things along the way,” she said. “Your dad is a good teacher.”

  “He can be,” Reuben admitted, opening the gate to the pen. “Not so good with hired hands, though.”

  “No. That’s true. Dirk might have been better.”

  “I don’t know,” Reuben said, walking over to Spud and stroking his neck. “Dirk wasn’t very patient either. Plus he hated cows.”

  “You’re right about that.” But as soon as she spoke the words, she felt a flash of disloyalty to her late husband.

  Reuben quickly got the halter on
Spud, Leanne not far behind him, but as he led his horse past her, he paused, giving her a look.

  “Do you miss Dirk?” he asked.

  Leanne wanted to look away; his eyes seemed to be asking for more than his question intimated. And for a moment the old attraction shimmered between them.

  “Sometimes” was all she dared say.

  “Did you love him?”

  His question was heavy with portent. She wanted to lie, to tell him something that would keep the distance between them.

  But there had been enough of that, so she simply shook her head, then tugged on Mickey’s halter, opened the gate and led the horse through.

  * * *

  “That’s the last of them, I hope,” Reuben said as he nudged his horse to come alongside Leanne. He’d been scouring the gullies and hollows and hadn’t heard or seen any other cows. He was sure they had rounded up all the cows and calves in this pasture. Now they were gathered up and plodding at a comfortably slow pace back to the ranch.

  The wind was at their backs, which made the air feel less cold. He was thankful George hadn’t been around to help. Having him elsewhere gave Reuben breathing space. A bit of peace. He could simply enjoy being on a horse out in the backcountry.

  With Leanne?

  The hills rolled away from them, brown now, the wind holding a promise of winter. And yet he felt a contentment he hadn’t felt in a long time.

  “I’m glad you could come along to herd them up,” Leanne said, giving him a quick smile. “George doesn’t have the patience and Chad doesn’t have the skill.”

  Reuben glanced over at Chad who was riding up ahead, keeping his horse on the side of the herd as they moved along the fence line headed toward the ranch. This was the easy part, and unless some cows decided to make a break for it, they were home free.