Cocksure (The Cochrans of Cocker County)

by Walker, Shiloh

  “It didn’t go well,” he said before the doctor could speak again.

  The doctor swung his head around. It was pretty obvious he recognized Luke, but he took in stride the appearance of a movie star standing in front of him. Calmly, he replied, “She’s alive. At the end of all my surgeries, that’s my number-one priority, so in that respect, it went fine. But...” He blew out a tired breath. “There were complications.” He looked around and gestured. “Please, can we sit?”

  None of them wanted to. I nudged Luke into the closest seat, though, and as he sank down, so did Bella, then Chase, followed by the rest of them. Before the doctor could start, the door pushed open and London came rushing in. “Guys, it took me forever to find...”

  She took in the faces of her siblings and immediately went silent. She still had her carry-on and backpack from the flight. With little fanfare, she dumped them both by the door, then went and sat between Bella and Chase. “Mom?”

  “Hello.” The doctor gave her a gentle smile. “I’m assuming you’re London. Your mother mentioned you when I went in to talk to her before surgery. She said you’re going to Tulane—planning on being a doctor.”

  “Yes.” She smiled, clearly strained, but the manners her mother had taught kicked into play. “Pediatrics and internal medicine. I’m going to open a practice in my hometown.”

  “Sounds like a lovely idea.” He nodded and then looked around the room again. “I’m Dr. McKiernan. I’m the cardiologist who took your mother’s case when her primary-care physician referred her to us. I was able to talk to her before the procedure and it’s my take that she’s a smart, stubborn woman. That’s in her favor.” He looked around the room as he added, “And she clearly has a family who loves her and wants the best for her.”As I said, your mother came through the procedure, but there were some complications. She had a heart attack on the table—a major one, this time.”

  Everybody in the room was stunned into silence. Luke clamped down on my hand so tightly, it hurt. I squeezed back, aching inside for him, for all of them.

  “We were able to get her heart beating again—”

  “Her heart stopped beating?” Luke demanded, his voice ragged.

  “Yes,” Dr. McKiernan said quietly. “It happened twice, but she seems to be stabilized now.”

  As he continued to talk, the Cochrans remained silent, all of them taking it in. When he finally finished, he said, “I’m sure you have questions for me.”

  For once, Luke had nothing to say. He looked utterly stunned. And scared.

  Bella and London started to talk, each one of them taking turns as they fired question after question.

  After almost ten minutes, they seemed satisfied and the doctor gave them a look that spoke of both amusement and something that might have been relief. “I can say this, without a doubt...” he announced as he stood. “Once your mother finishes her recovery and rehab, I am absolutely certain that the two of you will make sure she’s taking care of herself.” He looked from Bella to London, then scanned the room. “I realize you’ve all had a hard day. It will be a little bit yet, but once we get her out of recovery and moved up to the cardiac care unit, she can have visitors, but only for a few minutes at a time, and only two people at a time. She won’t be awake. I’m keeping her sedated for the first twenty-four hours so she can rest.”

  Nobody said anything so he turned to leave.

  The minute the door closed behind him, Luke turned to me and caught me up in his arms, all but crushing me against him and holding on tightly.

  LUKE WAS QUIET ON THE drive back to the apartment.

  London, Devin and Chris followed. They were staying in the second apartment tonight.

  Liam lived in town—he attended a local Bible college and had a place he shared with a couple of friends, so he was already nearby.

  Bella was frustrated she couldn’t stay, swearing under her breath about vacations and impatient babies.

  She’d be back tomorrow, as soon as her shift was over, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed until midnight.

  Chase left when she did and even though he didn’t say it, I knew he’d be back early in the morning. He owned a small winery that was just getting its feet off the ground, but he’d let it go under before he neglected his mother. Two of his friends helped him with it, if I recalled correctly, so I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

  The Cochrans made the kind of friends who wanted to step in and help, because the Cochrans were the kind of friends who did the same.

  “Where’s the key for the garage?” Luke asked, his voice almost lifeless as he turned in to the parking facility.

  I wiggled my fingers. “I need my hand.” He’d been clutching it almost nonstop most of the day. I’d given up trying to work. It was almost impossible to do it one-handed. After texting Kelly and telling her the severity of Joanne’s current condition, I’d settled in to just be there for him and the rest of the family.

  He uncurled his fingers from their tight grip but it was slow, almost as if he didn’t want to let go.

  Once I could pull my hand free, I fished out my wallet and tugged the card out.

  He swiped it and the bar lifted, then lowered.

  “Wait up there,” I told him. “I’m going to have to open it for at least one of them. I only had two cards for the other apartment.”

  He nodded and waited as I hopped out and hurried back. Calling for more cards was on top of my list tomorrow. I should have already done it. The security guard caught sight of me and wandered over to ask what I was doing. Luke must have spotted him, because as I explained, I heard the car door open and his booted feet thudded on the pavement behind the man.

  The old guy squinted at him, then me before shaking his head. “You’re not supposed to be using the cards like that.”

  He started to say something else, but a look at Luke’s face had him snapping his jaw shut. “Just...make sure you talk to management in the morning and get the problem sorted out. I can’t let you do this tomorrow.”

  As he walked off, I shot Luke a look. “Get back in the car before you make him stroke out.”

  The lifelessness of his features had been replaced by a sharp-edged intensity, one I recognized. I nudged him toward the car. “Go on,” I told him. The expression on his face spelled trouble and I wanted him out of here before whatever it was boiling inside him came spilling out.

  Something in the past few seconds had clicked and all that fear had decided it would much rather find a different way to express itself. He was going to be a dick instead.

  Fine. He could be a dick. Sometimes fear and grief did bad things. But he wasn’t going to take it out on innocent bystanders.

  “Go,” I said again, shoving harder.

  His eyes met mine, hot and bright. But he did turn and stalk back to the car.

  “You sure you wanna take on that mess, Sabrina?” Devin asked as I swiped the card for him to enter the garage.

  “Bite me, Devin,” I said pithily.

  He laughed. “Don’t let him hear you say that. He might try to rip my head off.”

  “Keep it up,” I said with a sweet smile, “and I’ll tell him you were trying to come on to me...and you can be the one to try to talk him down tonight.”

  Devin grimaced. “You got a mean streak, Sabrina. I never realized that until just this second.” He squinted at me. “Good. You’ll need it.”

  LUKE DIDN’T SAY A WORD as we found our parking space, and the ones Meka had assigned for the various members of Luke’s family who might end up staying in Louisville from time to time.

  He was quiet as we climbed out and other than giving London a quick hug, made no attempt to greet his family.

  “You go on up,” I told him, passing the key over as we came to the elevator’s first stop. “I want to show them around. I’ll be up soon.”

  His lids drooped and he held my gaze for a long moment before finally accepting the key.

  “He’s in a mood,” Londo
n muttered once the doors closed behind us. She hitched her backpack up, her young face tired and grim. It made her almost look her age.

  “He’s got a lot of shit going on in his head right now, kid,” Chase said, tugging on her braid. He glanced at me thoughtfully. “How much trouble is this causing for the movie he’s got coming out in a few weeks? I know there’s supposed to be a tour and stuff. What’s happening with all of that?”

  “We’re dealing with it,” I said, forcing a smile. “As best as we can. It’s set to launch in a few more days and right now, it looks like the cast will have to start without him. Kelly put together a press release about his mom. Luke needs to look it over.” Yet one more thing I needed to get him to do tonight. “They’ll be announcing it tomorrow.” I glanced at each of them in turn. “You all might have people trying to contact you.”

  Chase shrugged. “I’ll deal.”

  “My block finger is ready and waiting,” London said. She shoved a few loose tendrils back behind her ear. “If you think about it, send me a copy of the press release. I don’t want to release any more info than he does, so I’ll take a page from his book—do you know when she’s releasing it?”

  “As long as I get his okay tonight, she’s planning on going live with it at noon pacific time. I’ve already started notifying everybody he has a commitment with, letting them know he’s had a family emergency.” We came a stop in front of the apartment. “Here we are. There are only two units on this floor—you have the largest one. Four bedrooms, a big balcony.”

  I unlocked the door and stepped aside, but like Luke, neither Chase nor Devin would enter until I did. I was too tired to argue with them.

  I trudged in past them and stood to the side, wrapping my arms around myself as the guys came in. London had already disappeared into the depths of the apartment. “I’m claiming this one,” she called out.

  I bet I knew exactly which one she was taking. Chase only gave the place a cursory look. Devin took his time, taking in the doors, the locks, then moving over to the patio. He might be a detective in small-town Madison, but he was most definitely still a cop.

  Chase came to stand in front of me, hands in his back pockets. “Are you okay?”

  “Just peachy,” I said with a wan smile.

  “You don’t seem so...peachy.”

  With a listless shrug, I looked away. “I’m tired. The past few months have been nothing but go, go, go. We were supposed to have some downtime after this week and then...” Frowning, I looked at him. “I sound bitchy. It’s not like Joanne planned to have heart problems.”

  “That’s not bitchy, Sabrina.” He crooked a grin at me, his dark-blond hair spilling over his forehead in a way that reminded me too much of Luke. His eyes, quieter, a softer shade of blue, also made me think of Luke. “I think that’s just called being human.”

  Before I knew it, I was caught up in a hug, his arms snug around me while he rubbed his chin against my hair. My dad used to do that very same thing. “Stop being so hard on yourself, okay?”

  I don’t know why tears blurred my eyes, but they did.

  “Okay.” The tears tried to clog my throat and I sniffed to hide them before pulling back. “I’d better get up there and take care of this press release mess.”

  Devin called my name, but when I turned back to look at him, he just shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

  It didn’t event take five minutes to get up to our floor. The apartment Luke and I had taken dominated that entire floor, even though it only had the two bedrooms.

  The living room, dining room, and kitchen took up an obscene amount of space. My entire apartment in California could have fit in this living room.

  I’d pulled up the press release on my phone on the elevator and had it ready for Luke’s perusal by the time I stepped inside. He’d turned the deadbolt and used it to prop the door partially open so it wouldn’t lock me out. When I came inside, I adjusted the lock, then set it so that the door was secured behind me.

  Luke was standing at the floor-to-ceiling windows staring outside. The bridges, all lit up in a variety of colors, seemed to hold him mesmerized as I went to join him.

  “Kelly has a press release.” I held out my phone. “She wants to release it noon California time.”

  “Have you read it?” he asked.

  I slid him a look. I couldn’t quite place his tone. It wasn’t cold. It wasn’t angry. It wasn’t distant—Luke didn’t do distant.

  It was different, though.

  Very different.

  “I did, yes.”

  “If you think it’s fine, then it’s fine,” he said, still not looking at me. “Tell Kelly she can send it.”

  I frowned at him. Luke trusted me with a lot—almost everything, really, as far as business went, but as he’d pointed out to Kelly on a regular basis, it was his name going out there. He should have final say. I went to tell him just that, but he turned away and strode out of the room.

  Something about the way he carried himself advised me not to say a single word.

  Uneasy, I swallowed the knot in my throat and looked back at my phone. Out of loyalty to Luke, I read the PR one more time, then sent Kelly a message.

  Luke said to go ahead and send the PR as scheduled.

  An hour later, I’d showered and finally finished the tedious task of drying my long, too-thick hair. Before things got so crazy and we had to leave California in such a rush, I’d been thinking about getting my hair plaited. My dad had passed his multi-racial heritage—and his thick, sometimes unmanageable hair—on to me, and since I’d been looking at several weeks on the road, plaits would have been so much easier to deal with.

  “You know what they say about best-laid plans, girl,” I muttered to myself. I separated my hair into sections and started to braid the right side, studying my inbox as I worked. Every few seconds, I’d stop and do a purge, delete, delete, delete, delete, archive, archive, archive....

  By the time I was done with that side, I’d winnowed out about fifteen percent of my emails.

  Getting to work on the left side, I continued on with the pattern.

  Braid, delete, delete, delete, archive...

  Knock, knock, knock...

  Scowling, I looked up at the door, twisting my hair quicker now. “Yes?” I called out.

  “Can I come in?”

  I looked around at the mess on my bed. After a few seconds, I said, “Yes.”

  He opened the door just as I snapped the elastic on the end of my braid.

  He lingered in the doorway, his eyes on my hair. Slowly, his gaze moved down, taking in the plaid shorts and white tank top I’d selected to sleep in.

  “Braids, a white shirt and plaid...” A faint smile crooked his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “If it was a skirt, I could almost picture you playing the naughty school girl for me, Sabrina.”

  My cheeks heated.

  “Is that why you came in my bedroom, Luke?” I asked.

  “No.” His gaze slid away and he started to pace.

  I gathered up work and closed my laptop, keenly aware of him—too aware. I needed to get to bed and get some sleep so I could hopefully wake up early and knock out some work—

  “You’re wrong, you know.”

  Luke’s voice was soft and full of pain, regret.

  Slowly, I turned to look at him. He was at the windows, staring out over the river and southern Indiana. It was a darker view and it seemed to suit his current mood.

  “There’s not a person alive I trust as much as I trust you, Ina.” His shoulders hunched forward, bowing in as if he was bracing against some terrible strike. “There are just...things that I don’t want people knowing. Things I don’t want anybody knowing.”

  He turned to look at me and the secrets in his eyes were awful.

  I swallowed, resisting the urge to back up and crawl under the blankets, hide away from whatever it was he was about to tell me.

  “You know I ran track
in school? His eyes clouded. “For a while, anyway.”

  “Yeah.” I managed a weak smile. “You’ve got all sorts of trophies. Sounds like you were pretty talented. You never did tell me why you quit.”

  A muscle pulsed in his jaw and he looked away.

  “The town’s so small, the junior and senior high school area are combined. Seventh grade through twelfth, first through sixth. I started running track in third grade. Got into cross-country in fifth.” He turned back to the window. “Chase ran track, too. Was pretty tight with the team, hung out with the son of the guy who coached the track team for junior/senior high. Coach Wine. His son, Mark, was a few years older than Chase, but they were pretty good friends. He hung around a lot.”

  Luke’s voice had gotten lower, rougher.

  That part of me that wanted to hide was still thinking how nice and comfortable the blankets looked. I was cold, deep down inside. Making up my mind, I grabbed the top blanket and moved to stand next to Luke, leaning against him.

  “What did he do to you?”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Luke

  I COULDN’T FUCKING believe I was talking about this.

  The weight of Sabrina’s question lay heavy on me, like an icy, wet, cold blanket. I could even feel a cold droplet run down my spine, but that was sweat, caused by the nerves and fear that overtook me the second I stepped out of my room and began this long, awful walk to hers.

  I’d made the dumb-ass mistake of lying down on my bed earlier, closing my eyes, thinking I could maybe get some sleep.

  But as soon as I did, her words rose to haunt me.

  Maybe when you’re ready to share yourself with me, I’ll consider giving you more of me.

  Share myself. She didn’t know what she was asking. Oh, I gave her plenty—the good parts, at least.

  The longer I had lain there, though, I’d realized that was part of the problem. Sabrina shared all sorts of things with me—the good parts, and the bad. There had been nights when she’d talk about her mom, sharing things I knew weren’t easy to talk about, confessing fears she’d kept buried.